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my ($question, $to_be, $asleep); # version 0.1
 my $author = "Colin McMillen";
 my $apologies_to = "William Shakespeare";
 my $to_be = 1;

while ($to_be || (!$to_be)) {
 $question = "that";
 if (suffer($slings && $arrows_of_outrageous_fortune)
 or
 (take_arms_against($sea_of_troubles) && by_opposing() eq "end +them")) {
 do {
 $to_be = 0;
 $asleep = "no more";
 die "We end the heart-ache, and the thousand".
 " natural shocks that flesh is heir to";
 } while ("'tis a consumation devoutly to be wish'd.");
 }
 }
 sub suffer {
 return true;
 }
 sub take_arms_against {
 return true;
 }
 sub by_opposing {
 return "end them";
 }