"We went on a trip and it was different from home..."

[Fairportfan]

These may well be apocryphal, like some of the Customer Support/Auto Insurance Claim listings.

Unfortunately, i can believe in a lot of them - particularly #1 (which happens to apparently be a Brit - but i could easily imagine the same thing in reference to a flight from Chicago to NYC...)

The most ridiculous travel complaints ever recorded
 

There are cases of holidays from hell — being caught in freak weather, accommodation not living up to your expectations, and perhaps the odd insect house guest and dirty linen you were not expecting.

Many complaints that go through travel agencies have legitimate reasons for being sent. However, there are a number that companies have to process every year which have no basis in reality whatsoever.

In homage to these very particular holidaymakers, Just The Flight has compiled a list of amusing — but also frankly bizarre — complaints that have passed through its systems over the years. Out of the complaints on record, the ten below are my personal favorites:

1. “Our flight left Heathrow at 07:55, and they told us the flight was 2 hours. But when we landed it was 10:55, making us miss our connection. The pilot didn’t even tell us we were delayed.”

2. “We could not enjoy the tour as our guide was too ugly. You can’t be expected to admire a beautiful view when you’re staring at a face like his.”

3. “The street signs weren’t in English. I don’t understand how anyone can get around.”

4. “The animals at the zoo looked very sad and it made our children cry. Can’t they train them to smile?”

5. “You said the town was next to a volcano, but we went and there was no lava. I’m pretty sure it was just a mountain.”

6. “I spent a whole week on safari, and didn’t see any good animals. There was only a load of antelopes.”

7. “You told us that there was a rooftop pool, but above us was just another room.”

8. “There was no sign telling you that you shouldn’t get on the hot air balloon ride if you’re afraid of heights.”

9. “Disneyworld is too touristy.”

10. “I packed for a mountaineering holiday, and couldn’t believe no one told me that there wouldn’t be snow. I had to go out and buy new clothes.”

Go to Just the Flight for the full list.

[Jabberwonky]

Those damn foreign countries, they should be more like home.
They aught to hire some of the guys from the Austrailian Tourism board. They know how to answer a question right.

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

This may have been posted before, I don't remember where I got the addy...

[Mark N]

This does make you weep for the human race. Thanks to facts like this I have come to the conclusion that when we do achieve the ability to travel to the stars we will be met by an armada of alien races saying "Oh no you don't. The universe does not need you as you are. Go back to your trees and evolve a bit more."

[MerchManDan]

I recall reading about a tourist who was visiting Canada, and asked a park official how they got the lakes so blue. The official response: "In the off-season, we drain them and paint the bottoms."

[Fairportfan]

Back in the 1930s/40s (as reported in H Allen Smith's wonderful book, The Compleat Practical Joker, a couple of college students working summer jobs at Yellowstone got imitated with one particular ranger.

The ranger in question usually did the guided tours of the geysers. There was one particular geyser that was known for its habit of letting go a couple of puffs of steam just before it erupted; if you were familiar with it, you could predict the eruption very closely.

So they got an old steering wheel, and mounted it on a post next to a small hill where they'd be partially visible to the tourists, but not the ranger.

When their target came along with a group, as he stood there, discoursing on geysers and how they work and so on, the students would pretend to be busy with controls on the other side of the hill, keeping an eye on the geyser the while.

When they could tell it was just about to blow, one would say "Okay, let 'er go!", and the other would spin the wheel like a big valve...

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Smith also mentions a guy who had a feud with a local movie theater - i forget over what - who went into the theater and released a dozen or so large moths...