Disappointed he stopped at ONE elephant joke, though.
Bad Jokes II
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Typeminer
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- Location: Pennsylbama, between Philly and Pittsburgh
Re: Bad Jokes II
First one was the best. Might steal some.
Disappointed he stopped at ONE elephant joke, though.
Disappointed he stopped at ONE elephant joke, though.
Saccharomyces cerevisiae is the linchpin of civilization.
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lake_wrangler
- Posts: 4300
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- Location: Laval, Québec, Canada
Re: Bad Jokes II
So....
Why did the elephant paint itself green? To hide on a pool table.
How many elephants can fit in a Volkswagen? Four - Two in the front, two in the back.
Why do ducks have big flat feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have big flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
Thank you, thank you, try the fish!
Why did the elephant paint itself green? To hide on a pool table.
How many elephants can fit in a Volkswagen? Four - Two in the front, two in the back.
Why do ducks have big flat feet? To stamp out forest fires. Why do elephants have big flat feet? To stamp out burning ducks.
Thank you, thank you, try the fish!
Don't let other peoples limitations become your constraints!
My Deviant Art scribbles
The Atomic Guide to Basic GIMP Stuff
My Deviant Art scribbles
The Atomic Guide to Basic GIMP Stuff
Re: Bad Jokes II
Why did the elephant paint its toenails brown, yellow, green, red and blue?
A:
Q:
A:
Reported overheard at the store: "If you think 2020 was bad, wait until it turns 21 . . . and starts to drink."
Also: "2020: the year where you put more alcohol on your hands than you drank."
How do you get two whales in a Mini-Cooper? (Read it out loud)
A:
--FreeFlier
A:
► Show Spoiler
► Show Spoiler
► Show Spoiler
Reported overheard at the store: "If you think 2020 was bad, wait until it turns 21 . . . and starts to drink."
Also: "2020: the year where you put more alcohol on your hands than you drank."
How do you get two whales in a Mini-Cooper? (Read it out loud)
A:
► Show Spoiler
--FreeFlier
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Typeminer
- Posts: 819
- Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:34 pm
- Location: Pennsylbama, between Philly and Pittsburgh
Re: Bad Jokes II
What's the other explanation for why elephants have flat feet?
A: From jumping out of the palm trees.
Why is it dangerous to go into the forest between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants are jumping out of the palm trees.
Why are some folks in elephant country so short?
A: They went into the forest between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.
A: From jumping out of the palm trees.
Why is it dangerous to go into the forest between 2 and 4 in the afternoon?
A: That's when the elephants are jumping out of the palm trees.
Why are some folks in elephant country so short?
A: They went into the forest between 2 and 4 in the afternoon.
Saccharomyces cerevisiae is the linchpin of civilization.
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lake_wrangler
- Posts: 4300
- Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
- Location: Laval, Québec, Canada
Re: Bad Jokes II
Now you've done it!
Why do you never go in the desert between five and six o'clock?
A: because that's when elephants go parachuting.
Why do elephant wear snowshoes, when parachuting?
A: so they don't sink in the sand.
Why do alligators have long, flat noses?
A: Because they went in the desert, between five and six o'clock.
Why do ostriches stick their heads in the sand?
A: To look for elephants that didn't wear snowshoes while parachuting.
How does an elephant climb a tree?
A: plant a seed, sit on it, and wait for it to grow.
How does an elephant get off a tree?
A: sit on a leaf, and wait for fall.
How does an elephant climb a 50 foot tree?
A: he climbs a 60 foot tree, then jumps on the 50 foot tree.
You guys already covered the M&Ms, although in Canada, they hide in boxes of Smarties...
How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge?
A: look for footprints in the butter.
How do you know if an elephant is currently in your fridge?
A: the door won't shut!
Why won't the door shut, if there is an elephant in your fridge?
A: poor guy needs to breathe, you know...
How do you prevent an elephant from passing through a keyhole?
A: tie a knot at the end of his tail.
How do you take an elephant out of a can (you know, like canned food...)?
A: read the instructions.
How do you eat an elephant?
A: One bite at a time.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A: big holes in Australia.
How do you stop a charging elephant?
A: take away its credit card...
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the veal, it's excellent! And don't forget to tip your waitress!
Why do you never go in the desert between five and six o'clock?
A: because that's when elephants go parachuting.
Why do elephant wear snowshoes, when parachuting?
A: so they don't sink in the sand.
Why do alligators have long, flat noses?
A: Because they went in the desert, between five and six o'clock.
Why do ostriches stick their heads in the sand?
A: To look for elephants that didn't wear snowshoes while parachuting.
How does an elephant climb a tree?
A: plant a seed, sit on it, and wait for it to grow.
How does an elephant get off a tree?
A: sit on a leaf, and wait for fall.
How does an elephant climb a 50 foot tree?
A: he climbs a 60 foot tree, then jumps on the 50 foot tree.
You guys already covered the M&Ms, although in Canada, they hide in boxes of Smarties...
How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge?
A: look for footprints in the butter.
How do you know if an elephant is currently in your fridge?
A: the door won't shut!
Why won't the door shut, if there is an elephant in your fridge?
A: poor guy needs to breathe, you know...
How do you prevent an elephant from passing through a keyhole?
A: tie a knot at the end of his tail.
How do you take an elephant out of a can (you know, like canned food...)?
A: read the instructions.
How do you eat an elephant?
A: One bite at a time.
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?
A: big holes in Australia.
How do you stop a charging elephant?
A: take away its credit card...
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Try the veal, it's excellent! And don't forget to tip your waitress!
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lake_wrangler
- Posts: 4300
- Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
- Location: Laval, Québec, Canada
Re: Bad Jokes II
Having read the new posts, I watched the two dad jokes videos, and ended up following a link to another one:
Re: Bad Jokes II
Many of you probably know that the Nordic countries excel in the area of preserved fish... in forms that they consider to be cultural treasures, and that citizens of other countries will go to great lengths to avoid. Norway has its lutefisk. Sweden has its surströmming.
Few know that these are derived from an earlier form of fish preservation, dating back to Viking times. The Vikings traveled (and raided) widely, and one of the things they brought back from overseas was a large supply of French honey. They learned to ferment it, creating an alcoholic brew potent enough pickle fish. The resulting mess served as both dinner and grog, although not every Viking partook of both parts.
The name of this hideous combination has been lost to history. It's remember mostly from the philosophy it inspired: one man's mead is another man's poisson.
Few know that these are derived from an earlier form of fish preservation, dating back to Viking times. The Vikings traveled (and raided) widely, and one of the things they brought back from overseas was a large supply of French honey. They learned to ferment it, creating an alcoholic brew potent enough pickle fish. The resulting mess served as both dinner and grog, although not every Viking partook of both parts.
The name of this hideous combination has been lost to history. It's remember mostly from the philosophy it inspired: one man's mead is another man's poisson.
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lake_wrangler
- Posts: 4300
- Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
- Location: Laval, Québec, Canada
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Typeminer
- Posts: 819
- Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:34 pm
- Location: Pennsylbama, between Philly and Pittsburgh
Re: Bad Jokes II
Such a, uhm, fragrant image. 
*Doffs hat, bows in Dave's general direction *
*Doffs hat, bows in Dave's general direction
*Saccharomyces cerevisiae is the linchpin of civilization.
Re: Bad Jokes II
Don't give up hope, folks.
Amritsar Biologics, a research laboratory in India, has identified a virus which affects the language centers of the brain, leaving the victim prone to commit wordplay and double entendres.
They’ve developed an mRNA vaccine which can both prevent and treat this terrible illness. It’ll be on the market next year.
The lab is in the Punjab.
Amritsar Biologics, a research laboratory in India, has identified a virus which affects the language centers of the brain, leaving the victim prone to commit wordplay and double entendres.
They’ve developed an mRNA vaccine which can both prevent and treat this terrible illness. It’ll be on the market next year.
The lab is in the Punjab.
Re: Bad Jokes II
I'd share some of my favorite dad jokes, but because I am not a father, it would be a faux pa.
Ah, heck, I got a dumb one for you anyway:
What do you call a wildcat with a balance problem?
A wobcat.
Ah, heck, I got a dumb one for you anyway:
What do you call a wildcat with a balance problem?
A wobcat.
There is no such thing as a science experiment gone wrong.