Doing it right...

[GlytchMeister]

heh heh heh... Alright, now that we're this far, I can unleash my pun!

Tepoz making people drunk by poiting the alcohol directly into them? That was Chekhov's Gin.

[Dave]

heh heh heh... Alright, now that we're this far, I can unleash my pun!

Tepoz making people drunk by poiting the alcohol directly into them? That was Chekhov's Gin.

Well done, sir! I think you've just earned your solo punster's ticket, with a waiting-for-the-moment endorsement!

[DinkyInky]

heh heh heh... Alright, now that we're this far, I can unleash my pun!

Tepoz making people drunk by poiting the alcohol directly into them? That was Chekhov's Gin.

I'll take a double jigger o that, jigger and a half of maraschino liqueur, one of creme de violette, shaken, not stirred.

[Sgt. Howard]

"WHERE IS MY DAUGHTER?!?" yelled Katherine. Nobody answered. Nobody Knew. Lily walked over, noticed a crying Castela and made the right assumption.
"Where was she last?"
"Right here, she was right... " Lily was already off, her nose leading the way. Unerringly, she tracked the errant child through the back maintenance areas, through a one-time machine shop and right up to a storage area. Lily froze in front of the door, her pose somewhat reminiscent of a pointer having found the quail.

She held up one hand- then slowly turned around, put her finger to her lips and motioned everybody to back away. They did so, until finally Katherine could take it no longer.
"Is she in there?"
"Yes... and she is well... and there are certain things a Mother should not have to walk in on... like I almost did at Neil and Phix's wedding..." she gave her Daughter a knowing look.
Katherine covered her mouth with her good hand and blushed deeply- "Who... who is she in there with?"
"The ursamorph... she is quite safe, I assure you,"

In the darkness on the other side of the door, a whispered voice asked, "Are they gone?"
Another one replied, "Yes, but I think we are in big trouble,"
"Well then, let's make it worth our while..."
".................ok...(giggle)"

[Sgt. Howard]

heh heh heh... Alright, now that we're this far, I can unleash my pun!

Tepoz making people drunk by poiting the alcohol directly into them? That was Chekhov's Gin.

Is that a registered Gin?

[FreeFlier]

heh heh heh... Alright, now that we're this far, I can unleash my pun!

Tepoz making people drunk by poiting the alcohol directly into them? That was Chekhov's Gin.

Is that a registered Gin?

Not sure . . . it may be in violation of the Geneva Convention . . .

/pointedly puts a pouch of juniper berries in the pun jar/

--FreeFlier

[Sgt. Howard]

heh heh heh... Alright, now that we're this far, I can unleash my pun!

Tepoz making people drunk by poiting the alcohol directly into them? That was Chekhov's Gin.

Is that a registered Gin?

Not sure . . . it may be in violation of the Geneva Convention . . .

/pointedly puts a pouch of juniper berries in the pun jar/

--FreeFlier

the GINevea convention?

(Places a dry martini in the pun vault)

[GlytchMeister]

{Time warp: immediately after Kath arrived at the safe room to spread the news, before she noticed Atsali was missing}

Kath burst through the door into the grain elevator, shouting joyfully. "IT'S DONE! WE WON!"
Glytch felt himself relax and let out a huge breath as he finished wrapping an officer's knife wound while everyone who could cheered and burst into tears... Frequently at the same time. He tied the wrap securely and checked his first aid kits... Both were completely empty.
He stood and waded through the crowd as it began to empty, making his way up to the battlefield, now on a completely new mission. He ran into Joe and grasped him by the forearm. "Where's the nearest free wifi?"
"Uh... There's a Caribou Coffee at the Lund's Grocery on University and Central. It's not too far..." He gave a few directions, and Glytch was gone before Joe could even ask why.
Glytch sprinted down the street, dodging people and cars, vaulting, ducking, and spinning, until he found the fast food chain. The moment he was in range, he pulled out his phone and connected to the wifi. "Please be fast, please be fast, please please please... Yes!" Glytch assumed control of his setup at the office in the Manor and activated the program he had written earlier and immediately ran back to the site of the battle, looking for news vans. He ran up and clambered onto the top of each one, holding his phone close to each antenna to intercept and mark the signal, sending each mark to his program to target.
"HEY! GET DOW-"
"Health and Safety, sir, we are investigating claims of dangerously excessive broadcast strength." Glytch spoke calmly and firmly as he finished his last targeting protocol.
"Uh..."
Glytch was already gone before the driver could react. Racing back, he found Greg, Al, and Neil. "I've (pant) marked the (pant) broadcast (pant) signals of (pant) every news (pant) van out there... Tell me what (pant) you want-"
Brandi walked up and took control. "You are frighteningly good at this, Glytch. Let me have the phone and I'll set up the appropriate filters."
Glytch handed it over and briefly coached her on how to work his program. "This will help immensely with damage control..." Brandi muttered as she typed away, coding as fast as his little old phone could handle.

[GlytchMeister]

RE: Gin Puns

Oh, boy... I've unleashed a monster!

*places a bottle of tonic in the pun jar*

[Dave]

RE: Gin Puns

Oh, boy... I've unleashed a monster!

*places a bottle of tonic in the pun jar*

It's academic at this point, but... You do realize that there no going back for you, right? What you have learned, cannot be unlearned.

[Sgt. Howard]

heh heh heh... Alright, now that we're this far, I can unleash my pun!

Tepoz making people drunk by poiting the alcohol directly into them? That was Chekhov's Gin.

Well done, sir! I think you've just earned your solo punster's ticket, with a waiting-for-the-moment endorsement!

I second that- it definitely qualified as annoying. What's more, I'll see your pun and raise you a limerick... if you dare...

A golem who's only half-baked
and knew his survival at stake
Captured Mayahuel and Jin
And thought he could win
but then learned that he's been out-faked!

..........and what's more, I think yer bluffing...

[Dave]

I second that- it definitely qualified as annoying. What's more, I'll see your pun and raise you a limerick... if you dare...

A golem who's only half-baked
and knew his survival at stake
Captured Mayahuel and Jin
And thought he could win
but then learned that he's been out-faked!

..........and what's more, I think yer bluffing...

When a blue god acquainted with gin,
told him firmly "The fix is now in!"
And his masculine pride
is most thoroughly fried...
as a man, he's quite the has-been!

[Sgt. Howard]

I second that- it definitely qualified as annoying. What's more, I'll see your pun and raise you a limerick... if you dare...

A golem who's only half-baked
and knew his survival at stake
Captured Mayahuel and Jin
And thought he could win
but then learned that he's been out-faked!

..........and what's more, I think yer bluffing...

When a blue god acquainted with gin,
told him firmly "The fix is now in!"
And his masculine pride
is most thoroughly fried...
as a man, he's quite the has-been!

THIS IS SO ON!

The way Nodaki figured this deal
was his eternal life would be real
Tepoz sloshed his guards
and Bud scorched his nards
After John glazed him harder than steel

Now all of us here surely wonder
How after this fellow of thunder
could raise himself high
and be quite 'the guy'
yet fall to this simplistic blunder?

The answer is actually this
if your ambitions outweigh other's bliss
you might want to ponder
the BIG MAN up yonder
for an eternity you'll NOT want to MISS!

(puff-puff-puff-puff... )

[GlytchMeister]

John, growing tired of Nodaki's screaming, shot a small jet of fire down his throat to harden his vocal cords. "Aaahhh... Much better... Noisy son of a bitch." He turned to Mayahuel and Bud. "Do we want to let him retain movement of anything? Or shall I fire him completely? Right now, he is only hardened on the outside."
"Hmm... No. Can't risk him being anything but a statue. Can't let him communicate in any way, you know."
John turned to Nodaki and grinned. "Quit making that face... It'll stick like that."
Nodaki shook his head, a look of pure terror and hatred on his face, his mouth open in a silent scream, as John approached. The salamander placed his hands on either side of the golem priest's head and stared into his eyes. "This time, I'll make sure you can feel the heat... And as you are meant to be indestructible, you don't have the means to repair yourself... So you will keep feeling that pain for all eternity." John closed his eyes and took a deep breath and summoned every bit of fire he had at his disposal, feeling the dark energy draining from him as he gathered the heat within himself until he was about to burst. When he opened his eyes, they weren't so much on fire as they were pushing out fire like small flamethrowers... His skin ignited, and he was wreathed in flames within and around his tattered cloak. When he spoke, jets of fire came out with every syllable. "Thus is the doom of he who seeks eternity - he gets it. Be careful what you wish for!"
John released the fire into Nodaki - every tongue of flame around, every bit of fire inside him was funneled through his hands, eyes, nose, and mouth, invading Nodaki's every orifice.
John did not laugh... He knew what he was doing to Nodaki... He had gotten a taste of eternity in the Hole, and he...
He actually felt a little sorry for him.
May and Bud looked on and noticed a change in John's fire... It was no longer producing smoke or lightning. A small ring of flames erupted around his head at the temples, looking almost like a crown, as two massive flamethrower-like jets of fire burst from his back at the shoulder blades...
Just then, the flames broke and dissipated. John grunted and stepped away, shaking head-to-toe, before falling to his hands and knees, panting.
"...Done."
Nodaki's remains stood above him, glowing white-hot... His fingers and toes cooled fastest, appearing black against the bright glow of his larger pieces. As he cooled, his expression slowly became visible... A horrific grimace of fear, pain, hate, and confusion... The emotions of a man facing eternity... And not liking what he saw.

[GlytchMeister]

Glytch hung back, keeping to the edge of the action as before... Though it was a different kind of action, and he was simply observing instead of shooting.when he was sure the danger had indeed completely passed, he went through the room and retrieved every single arrow he had fired.
It was a grim business, but he had to remove evidence of his involvement. He wasn't very keen on having his name show up in any reports. A few times, the moment he pulled out an arrow, the jolt of pain awoke the victim, and they attempted to grab Glytch or reach for a gun.
The first time surprised him, and he kicked them in the head out of instinct. By the end of the ordeal, Glytch was moving through the piles of wounded as though he were pulling weeds and kicking a rock down the street...
But he would never forget the sound of an arrow being removed from muscle.

Finished, Glytch packed up all of his stuff, including the scale armor cloak, into his leather bag and went to find a bathroom to wash his hands.
The sinks had been demolished, but one of them was still spraying. Kneeling by the stream of water, Glytch spotted himself in a broken mirror and was dismayed to see his clothes had been rent, torn, ripped, and punched through with bullets, knives, and clubs. His ability to dodge had decreased dramatically during the fight due to exhaustion... He realized he probably would have been dead halfway through had it not been for all the elven armor he was wearing.
Glytch stared at his own eyes for a while before rousing himself. Groaning, he limped back out into the hall to help with the cleanup however he could, pulling on a pair of leather gloves from his pack.

[FreeFlier]

. . . Tepoz making people drunk by poiting the alcohol directly into them? That was Chekhov's Gin.

Is that a registered Gin?

Not sure . . . it may be in violation of the Geneva Convention . . .

/pointedly puts a pouch of juniper berries in the pun jar/

the GINevea convention?

(Places a dry martini in the pun vault)

Or perhaps the Jinever Convention . . . that's more-or-less where we get the word gin.

/Adds a brandi to the pun jar/

--FreeFlier

[Hansontoons]

. . . Tepoz making people drunk by poiting the alcohol directly into them? That was Chekhov's Gin.

Is that a registered Gin?

Not sure . . . it may be in violation of the Geneva Convention . . .

/pointedly puts a pouch of juniper berries in the pun jar/

the GINevea convention?

(Places a dry martini in the pun vault)

Or perhaps the Jinever Convention . . . that's more-or-less where we get the word gin.

/Adds a brandi to the pun jar/

--FreeFlier

Managed to nip that one in the bud!

[GlytchMeister]

{Dinky wrote almost all of this, I just did a tiny addition at the end... I'm just submitting it for her before something else gets written}

----------

Stripped down to light scale and leathers for movement, Safyr went among the injured, removing Elven arrows, binding wounds and decanting healing brews that Tina had skillfully altered with beverages suited to its efficacy using some tinkered stoves and various kettles she and Emerauld hastily grabbed from camp.
The mugs that were transported from Safyr's packs to Tinas makeshift stand, were the results of her prior attempts to learn pottery with her sister to bring a sense of kinship into their life.
Mostly graceless and utilitarian, she could not bear to rid herself of them...perhaps it was for this moment they were made.

Pulling a vial, her one good mug, and a disgusting plastic bottle from her pouch, she approached Glytch.

"Tea, especially unknowingly doctored for your own good, I believe is not for one such as you. Take this."

Eyeing the vial warily, he noticed the swirling red and black of the glaze on the mug, and a large bottle of sweet caffeinated goodness in her other hand, and reached out for it.

"Ah-ah...this first. Bitter, then sweet," she replied, drawing the Vanilla Coke bottle away before continuing.

"I do not believe in coating medicine in sweet falsehoods, or hiding its bitterness within one more pleasant 'for their own good'. Rather, if dispensed pure, followed by a reward, the mind does not resist the bodies treatments as often, and will often not resist at at all. Though my sister rarely makes bitter remedies. Her heart is far too sweet, and it seeps into everything she touches."

Knowing Emerauld and Safyr for as short a time as he did, Glytch knew nothing given was without purpose, so tipping the vial back in one gulp, he tasted the sweetness of the potion and the bitterness of herbs blending together, and found it...just fine.

"I'll take my reward now," he said, smirking as Safyr handed him the bottle, and the mug.

"Here. Put this on over that, or Emerauld will wrap you head to toe in bandages...'Glytchie'," she replied in mock horror, and handing a plain hooded red tunic to him, vanished before he could reply.

Emerauld was racing through, removing spent arrows and tossing them into a wheeled mop bucket that someone had kindly bound to a quarter staff so she did not have to touch the plastic.
To the living, she bound wounds, heedless of friend or foe, though if they drew weapon on her, she sent them to sleep with magic, then bound wounds and flagged them as hostile with colourful fabric scraps, so they could be detained.
To friendlies, she she set them up for transport to the 'first aid' area that was made to be given healing draughts.
One such person, had hidden under cover of corpses, and tried shooting at her through a body, the bullet then flattened and fell due to her magic and armour.
He resisted her sleep spell, so enraged and full of poisons...and hate. He then used a knife, and kept trying to pierce her armour, spewing filth regarding females at her, all the while trying to pull himself free.

Eyes turning dark as storms, she felt the brands burning, the copper taint flooding her, vision now crimson, and her grin feral, the rage began to consume her as she reached behind to draw a sword and grant an end to the disgusting filth pleading for it, only to feel a hand restraining her.
Snarling, she whirled to see who dared stop her...only to see her friend Glytch. She noticed his disheveled, tattered garments he tried covering with a plain tunic, and very battle-weary, a fierce determination etched in his young face.

"Ol zhah z'lonzic, Eme'. L'elghinyrr screa nau lessons, ajak?"
It's enough, Eme'. The dead learn no lessons, remember?

"Gaer zhah nau zuneerrh whol nindol uss, nau vreza uk shlu'ta screa!"
There is no salvation for this one, no lesson he can learn!

"Enough."

Shrieking with frustration at being denied, she dropped to her knees and punched the floor, making cracks appear in the bloodied cement.

Eyes regaining their normal colour, she sent a silent message to her sister to deal with this one. Somber and shaking, she replied,

"But his God shall judge him soon enough. I thank you for saving me from myself. Quick study indeed."

Safyr came quickly, and dragging the man out from under his cover kicking and cursing, unwounded. Knocking the wind out of him, she quickly bound him hand and foot, having first disarmed him of a surprising array of weapons, then after seeing her sisters look of rage, gagged him as well. Glytch, pulling duct tape and a sharpie out seemingly from thin air(which earned two pairs of amused, impressed quirked brows) wrote, "do not open until Xmas" on a strip before taping it to the man.

Emerauld wrote, "do not open. Contents flaming." This amused Glytch, and garnered a "explain later."

Safyr wrote, "do not open." Then drew a skull and crossbones, followed by some numbers.

Glytch chuckled. "Nice Jolly Roger, there... I always had trouble getting the skull to look right."

[jwhouk]

Psst: replace "burger place" with "Caribou Coffee"...

---

I quietly impressed on Sarah that she needed to leave with Katherine, in the Bentley, and take Aeternia back to the Alexander compound.

"I... I have to see if I can help clean up, at all." My mind froze for a moment, considering what I'd see upon returning to the Grand Hall.

Sarah protested a bit, but Kath whispered something in her ear. She finally nodded in assent, but told me I needed to call her when we were heading back. I agreed, sealing the deal with a kiss. Aeternia barely moved as she headed off with the pair in tow.

I really did NOT want to head back through the tunnel. There was an access door that led to the main A-Mill building. I discovered, after opening, that it led to a narrow metal staircase - straight up. I forgot the one thing about these silos - they were meant to be filled in from the top.

We... might want to consider that for a post-operational report, I thought as I resigned myself to going back to the tunnel.

I had nearly made my way back through the grain elevators when I nearly bowled over Georgette.

"Oh! Hey, Joe - is Sarah heading back to Castle Alexander?"

I nodded. "You may need to push it to catch up with them... wait a minute. Where's Monica? Couldn't you guys just..."

"She... wanted to go help clean up," she told me with reluctance. "She told me to head out, there wasn't anything I could do." She looked at me - the look of a frightened little girl. "I... I think she might be right..."

"Jet," I carefully took her by the arms. "She meant it. Look," I pointed back to where everyone was filing out, by the rear of the elevator. "Sarah and Kath are talking to Atsali. Go with them. I'll make sure Monica's okay. You're safe, okay?" She nodded, though I could see she was crying.

I made a decision, and walked with her over to Kath, Sarah and Atsali. After making sure they were heading out, I again steeled myself and headed back to the tunnel.

---

Was I just trying to avoid looking at the carnage? I mean, yeah, I've seen a full-on riot happen in front of me. I've broken up fights; I've dealt with youth throwing and breaking things...

...but nothing like what I saw when I emerged from the lift elevator.

What had once been a rather quaint machine shop was now a mass of broken chairs, tables... and bodies.

Dead bodies. Everywhere.

A moment of panic set in, before I turned and nearly wretched back into the elevator. The smell of blood and burning ammo and grease and...

SNIFF... was that... coffee?

I felt a hand on me - and nearly jumped.

It was Monica. She was holding a cup of coffee in her hand - from Caribou Coffee.

"It... it was overwhelming for me, too," she said. "Come on, I'll take you over to this coffee place over on University."

I nodded silently, then with a POIT! I found myself inside a unisex bathroom. She opened the door, which led to a hallway - and out to a Lund's Grocery.

"This isn't the uptown store," I said tentatively.

"No, this is the one on University," she said. "C'mon, I'll get you a Caramel High-rise."

"Wait, how did you know...?"

She stopped and chuckled.

"The same way you knew who I was," she replied. "I did like your one photo of the side door of the old Abbott Hospital building."

===

In case you forgot what that was:

[GlytchMeister]

Psst: replace "burger place" with "Dunn Brothers Coffee..."

Done!

(I don't even know how to pay for that pun...)

EDIT: Joe found a closer wifi hotspot - edited to caribou coffee.