Jabber is NOT tossable...

[Jabberwonky]

I think I may have a lawsuit here...

[Sgt. Howard]

Capt. Spaulding: Now read me the letter, Jamison.

Horatio Jamison: [reading] "Honorable Charles H. Hungadunga..."

Capt. Spaulding: [correcting him] Hungerdunger.

[they say the "hung" syllable in unison]

Capt. Spaulding: Hoong.

Horatio Jamison: Hungerdunger.

Capt. Spaulding: That's it, Hungerdunger.

Horatio Jamison: [continues reading] "... care of Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, and McCormick."

Capt. Spaulding: You've left out a Hungerdunger. You left out the main one, too. Thought you could slip one over on me, didn't you, eh?

[pause]

Capt. Spaulding: All right, leave it out and put in a windshield wiper instead.

[Jamison nods and writes]

Capt. Spaulding: I tell you what you do, Jamison, I tell you what. Make it, uh, make it three windshield wipers and one Hungerdunger. They won't all be there when the letter arrives anyhow.

Horatio Jamison: [rushes quickly through what he's just written] "... Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger, Hungerdunger... and McCormick."

Capt. Spaulding: And McCormick.

Horatio Jamison: [reading] "Gentlemen, question mark."

Capt. Spaulding: [correcting him] Gentlemen, question mark? Put it on the penultimate, not on the diphthongic. You wanna brush up on your Greek, Jamison. Well, get a Greek and brush up on him.

Horatio Jamison: [reading] "In re yours of the fifth inst..."

Capt. Spaulding: I see.

Horatio Jamison: Now, uh... you said a lot of things here that I didn't think were important, so I just omitted them.

Mrs. Rittenhouse: Well!

Capt. Spaulding: Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.

[suddenly tries to hit Jamison with his switch, but misses; he falls]

Mrs. Rittenhouse: [helps Spaulding up] Oh, Captain! Good gracious! Oh, my.

Capt. Spaulding: [to Jamison] So, you just omitted them, eh? You just omitted the body of the letter, that's all. You've just left out the body of the letter, that's all. Yours is not to reason why, Jamison. You've left out the body of the letter.

[pause]

Capt. Spaulding:
All right, send it that way and tell them the body will follow.
[swings his switch indignantly]

Horatio Jamison: Do you want the body in brackets?

Capt. Spaulding: No, it'll never get there in brackets. Put it in a box. Put it in a box and mark it, uh..."fragilly."

Horatio Jamison: Mark it what?

Capt. Spaulding: Mark it fragilly. F-R-A-G... Look it up, Jamison, it's in the dictionary. Look under "fragile." Look under the table if you don't find it there.

[Sgt. Howard]

We'll get a few blond lovelies and a blanket and I would wager you might become QUITE tossable... and rather enthusiastic about it as well...

[Jabberwonky]

I hadn't thought of getting the esteemed Captain Spaulding as my council, but it's just crazy enough to work!

[GlytchMeister]

Ok, I'm confused. What the heck is happening up there in that script?

[Atomic]

Ok, I'm confused. What the heck is happening up there in that script?

Behold the majesty which is -- confusion!

[TazManiac]

All I can say is, it's good to have friends...

[jwhouk]

I guess, because I'm a bit younger, I would prefer the law firm of Dewey, Cheathem, and Howe.

[Jabberwonky]

I guess, because I'm a bit younger, I would prefer the law firm of Dewey, Cheathem, and Howe.

I love me some Stooges, but the Marx Brothers were in a whole 'nuther league...