tophoo wrote:And don't you jerky jerk-faces post spoilers in the comments!
Before anybody gets hyper-defensive: I'm not talking shit. I'm asking questions and pointing out problems that nag at me. Honest, thoughtful critique is something authors can use to improve their craft.
Before anyone tells me to search the forums for these answers: I tried. The search functions on this crap forum are about as useful as a chocolate helmet. It's built on BBS logic, for gods' sake. Instead, I read through the comic from beginning to end a few times.
A noble endeavor. Yeah, there's a LOT of stuff that you had to pick up as you went along. Something like a Comprehensive Strip-by-Strip Guide (see signature line) might help in the future.
Simple stuff first:
1) What's up w' Lily's face- really sharp cheekbones and really hollow cheeks? I get that she doesn't seem to feed enough, but.. damn. Were the Anasazi known for that kind of thing?
The tribes I grew up around certainly aren't.
Lily is a vampire, and several thousands of years old. That and the whole "dying alone in the desert" thing probably eliminated any definition in her cheeks and chin. I think most observers IRL would think she was an emaciated supermodel.
Ah, yes. That's actually a trick of shading that Paul's not 100% on. It's an indication of someone whose eyes are sunken deep into their sockets - basically someone who hasn't had a whole lot of sleep, or is perhaps projecting themselves to be much older than they actually are.
I think I called this one "Mischief." Its origins are probably centered in her relationship with her street-fighting grandfather.
4) There are several references to "cat-" or "cat-like markings" on sphinxes & Monica- other than spraying the tires on my car, WTF is a cat-marking? I assume that's what those odd splotches along the nose are supposed to be? I don't think I've ever seen a cat that looked like it had been wearing really heavy spectacles before..
Back to that earlier picture of
Bia with her daughter (Shelly): the little ovals next to Shelly's nose, looking like the nose pads for an unseen pair of glasses. If you've ever seen a cat, there is a small indention similar to the one on the side of Shel's nose, where the cat's eyes meet the "flat" of their nose. It makes their eyes "look" bigger - and it's how Paul indicates a "cat-like" marking on a para like Shel or Monica.
5) Earlier on, M's described several times a 'A' jag girl, not 'THE', but when she first pops (@ Phix) Tsillah says something about first sub-titan born in a million years- sooo, other sub-titans are millions of years old? Bia was a child during the chimera incident 10k-ish years ago- how bloody long had she been a child? What about Prometheus or Amnesia Cop- are they sub-titans, demigods or just divinely handsome? Others? Were folks titan-ing the shit out of Homo Eerectus?
Oooh, good question. The actual Greco-Roman Pantheon was rather...
procreative... when it came to relationships and breeding. That comment was made a while back about Devyn, since Poseidon had a TON of paramours.
One thing that needs to be remembered: the calendar machine happened
just before the Chimera blew everything to pieces. That was 10,500 years BCE. Add 2012, multiply that by 57, and add three... well, you get the picture. Not quite a million years, but long enough that crap's gone down for a while.
Justin appears to be similar to Monica - an "enhanced mortal". He may be in the same boat as Tina 1.0 - born with a god-like gift to self-repair. Heck, it would not surprise me at all if Justin and Tina were distant relatives.
6)What's with all the extra floppy, flappy bits on mermaid arms and fin hands & stuff? They've got tails- why wouldn't they porpoise around?- What would they need paddle-hands for? They don't need to use their arms like a human. Hell, this lady
http://wapsisquare.com/comic/this-is-better/ looks like she'd break her own neck if she dove wrong.
They're called "gills". Fish tend to use them for breathing. And those tentacles look a lot like a catfish's.
As for that mermaid, I'd have to go with Bellisario's Maxim:
Don't observer this too closely. Paul was trying to show that there were other odd-shaped paras at the mall, without thinking about fleshing any of them out until later.
7) So the Berenstain Twins are NA- I get it. Why all the dream catchers and crap? Why do they apparently live in a log cabin? I'm no social-justice warrior, but that seems a bit tacky.
They are Cherokee in background, and therefore have a big connection to native American culture. And a log cabin home in Minnesota is not what you think.
Take a look here if you don't believe me. I suspect that Berdine and Nadette's parents might be rather well off - maybe they got involved with Microsoft, then took a job with a tech company in the Twin Cities area.
8) It appears that the only instance of Atsalsi's wings significantly damaging her top is the missile incident at the conclusion of Mapimi 2. Looks like every other shift has left her top largely intact. Even when Dette popped them in Mapimi-
http://wapsisquare.com/comic/trust-us/ while the talisman was on.
If you look back, her shirt (as she was waiting for the Library to Vorp her back to the orphanage) had two holes in the back. Sometimes, it's just Pablo forgetting to draw the damage.
Speaking of Sali- my big one.
Why/how did Sali become autistically oblivious?
Even leaving aside the Anasazi adventure- who knows- maybe half-sirens go brain-dead after they..
explode into puberty.. she seems to have devolved, at least socially.
Back here-
http://wapsisquare.com/comic/the-sound-of-my-voice/, she used a sexually-charged (if not
quite sexual) intimate encounter to demonstrate her worries to Berdine. Sali inquired about Berdine's sexuality, and then showed that she could overcome even that with her power, and displayed wisdom in using said power. The many incidents of Dette's physical affection, even kisses never phased her. Sali was shown to be oblivious to Dette's feelings after Mapimi 2, but by that time, she would have been more likely lobotomized than simply "oblivious".
Atsali was trying to make a point there - and getting
that close scared her. But when Nadette made that offhand comment, she immediately thought of Castela, not 'Dette - because her brain didn't make the connection.
But when Dette comes out and says, "hey, I'm gay", we've got the biggest breach of trust ever. I get the seemingly retconned reason for Sali's intimacy issues, but... I can't help but feel like needless pathos is being written for Sali on the mistaken premise that damage equals character development.
She apparently had this problem back when she was at the orphanage. It resulted in a traumatic event - finding that girl hanging herself. Mentally, she may be "shutting down" when it comes to interpersonal relationships.
Atsali has not been the brightest when it comes to interpersonal relationships (
see today's strip for proof). Whether this is because of the Horned Demon Girl or because of the whole of Etheitian culture stampeding through her brain, who knows.
First, everybody (I know- only two out of twenty or so characters) turns out to have been raped, now, a- what? A spurned lover? An unrequited love?- does the hemp fandango over Sali's bed?
A person need not be incredibly damaged to be whole or interesting, is my point.
Ah, but we have already discovered that Atsali
is damaged. When we found out she was from an orphanage, that changed her from being this "I'm an ADVENTURER!" persona to the bird-girl with wings and a ditzy outlook.
We all have things that have happened to us that affect who we are. Losing a parent, getting married, being forced to move because of a job... it all affects us.
The rape thing explains Monica's past very well. Something latent emerged from it, though - her eidetic memory, which led her to a job at a museum before she was 20-something.
Sooo, yeah- that's all that comes to mind right now.
Might want to look here for future questions...
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
My 
