Too Grounded 2014-11-18

[Opus the Poet]

Can I make a point as someone that was the relatively sane one in the relationship once. It's not a fun place to be, and that is the most charitable way I can phrase it. On the one hand it is freaking awesome to be useful to another person you love, on the other hand the relationship can only go two ways: The other person recovers and outgrows the need for you, or the other person sinks deeper into the mire and beyond your ability to help. I had both of those happen, the "deeper into the mire" first, then a rebound as she recovered and she grew beyond her need for me. Both hurt badly...

[Yamara]

All the blue light reflections that color my mind when I sleep
And the lovesick rejections that accompany the company I keep
All the razor perceptions that cut just a little too deep
Hey, I can bleed as well as anyone
But I need someone to help me sleep
And so I throw my hand into the air and it swims in the beams
It's just a brief interruption of the swirling dust sparkle jet stream
Well, I know I don't know you and you're probably not what you seem
But I'd sure like to find out
So why don't you climb down off that movie screen

Counting Crows, Mrs. Potter's Lullaby



I MARK MY HOURS BY SHADOW; MAYEST THOU MARK THINE BY SUNSHINE

[Deuce]

I think I agree. I'm sorta reading the "I hate him" as "I hate the situation I'm in, with respect to him". That had to be a really difficult disclosure for her... both painful and embarrassing. In a sense she's seriously in his debt for having been less-than-honest with him about herself all these years... and his being reasonable and supportive and forgiving, just makes the debt worse.

Nah. Rape victims don't owe it to their partner to give full disclosure of their history. She's not in his debt for anything.

[jeffepp]

There may not have been a breakup. I can see getting as far as "You want to hook up with a supermodel? I'm cool with that."

[illiad]

Some peeps need to realise how different girls are, and how much it confuses guys...
please click here!!
"you're too good for me" "it's not you, its me" basically translates as 'nothing understandable' to a guy that loves you enough to do anything possible for you.. I *know*, I've been there ...
most men would be happy to be treated like he was ...

the previous strips also show why bud is such a close friend...

[Timotheus]

Okay, this one has pushed me a little too far too fast.
The Kevin - Monica relationship was one of the lynch pins that grounded this story for me. The occasional troubles that arose within it were always seemingly resolved to make it stronger. Having Monica accept its dissolution this suddenly and seek to restructure herself so quickly is asking too much of my little grey cells. This is the final straw indicating that the story has changed from that of ordinary people (both normal and paranormal) dealing with extra-normal adventures to a sort of paranormal Peyton Place soap opera.
I realize it's not my call as it's not my story, but this has caused some rather severe mental stress and I find myself no longer in Confusion Corner but rather standing on the curb outside waiting for the bus to I Don't Want To Know Anymore. The question now is do I get on the bus or go back in and stick around awhile longer?

[Jay-Em]

I see.

And it never occured to M that Kevin loved her just for who she was? That his dedication wasn't some slavish adoration, and that he really wanted to be there for her, because he liked her, liked being with her?

Borderliner-traits surfacing after someone uninvitedly prodded a rape victim. Been there, seen that. Still pisses me off.

This is quite unique, though. It's the first time I'm áctually annoyed by a WS storyline. I guess that defines "art" here. "Art" isn't neccesarily always pleasing.

And Bud? Fêh. I wouldn't call a crush of a girl that missed growing-up in the love-aspect, a good base for a stable, grown-up relationship. Trying to compensate by "dry-humping the wind" as Jin once remarked about Drunk-Buds thing, is no substitute.

Let alone that in the "having a bad teen-time" realm, Bud beats M by a large marigin: dragged forom her home by strangers (well, okay, M got that too, in a way) repeatedly raped by several men, then burnt alive, and made into a soulles killing machine, wiping out a civilization, and ending-up in storage until a mutated weasel with a good heart gets her out.

Beat that!

[pinglederry]

Some peeps need to realise how different girls are, and how much it confuses guys...
please click here!!
"you're too good for me" "it's not you, its me" basically translates as 'nothing understandable' to a guy that loves you enough to do anything possible for you.. I *know*, I've been there ...

Ugh please none of that Mars vs Venus crap; that's all socialization and hugely variable, and everybody's done a disservice when people try to reduce something as complicated and nuanced as interpersonal relationships to a shallow "X vs Y" dichotomy.

Also lol at all the people acting like this is the first time Paul's dropped something on us completely out of left field that's actually just been building super-background for a while and is suddenly being thrust into the limelight via infodump. Could it be less choppy? Sure. But in a lot of ways doing a five-days-a-week comic can be harder to keep smooth because there's just too much going on. And don't even get me started on the people complaining that this is such a female-dominated comic. The horror! *eye roll*

I'm still on the fence about the possibility of a Monica/Jet relationship. On one hand I've always had a love-hate relationship with the level of fanservice in the art of this comic since it's not being billed as a fanservice comic, but on the other hand the story has been running for ages and ages and has yet to have a queer relationship anywhere within the main cast. I mean, he managed to take the totally fanservice-y gag-boobs thing and use it to have a great and ongoing conversation about the actual mechanics of having huge knockers and the bras they require and the social stigmas around them for both Monica and more recently Atsali; what's to say he couldn't do something like that here? He's so far shown himself to be pretty adept at dancing that jellyfish-covered line over the years.

[Jay-Em]

Some peeps need to realise how different girls are, and how much it confuses guys...
please click here!!
"you're too good for me" "it's not you, its me" basically translates as 'nothing understandable' to a guy that loves you enough to do anything possible for you.. I *know*, I've been there ...
most men would be happy to be treated like he was ...

the previous strips also show why bud is such a close friend...

Hooh boy! Careful now. A discussion abut the "it's not You, it's Me" is lighting the fuse to a case of fresh dynamite. (Read Jezebel dotcom to see how thát can get out of hand, fast. You'd think you accidentally ended-up in the middle of some nasty break-up )

In our social conventions it's the thing the respective others try to do to make a break-up less painful. To no avail. And it's not just a "girl" thing too.
Tbh, In thís particular comic, someone hás once stated the dreaded "it's not You, it's me", and really meant that.

Tsch! You'd think that by now humans would have got that "breaking-up"-thing to a pinch, but no. There's álways at least óne to end-up in pain with such altercations.

There's a reason I've stayed-away from serious relationships for the last 10 years. Girlfriends: last about 4 to 7 years. ( in my direct surroundings, the marriages that imploded, mostly did that after about 7 years.. Odd that..)
However, my best Female Friend? Best buds for 25 years, by now.

"True love" in the amorous sense is quite overrated, mainly due to our popular culture, and clinging to the pre-fab version that movies, paperbacks and assorted pop-culture wave in front of us, mostly ends up unpleasant.

[captnq]

I hate to say this, but character wise, Spot on.

Doesn't change the fact this is a monumental pile of self-indulgent crap.

Having the experience of going through this twice (I have an attraction to helping disasters), I can tell you that simply, you cannot help those who don't ask for it. Now my third major relationship continues on in bliss for 20 years now. Why? She thinks like a man and I don't have to deal with any of this crap. For those you you about to get all "Don't gender sterotype" They exist for a reason. People are individuals, but when taken in groups, people start to rhyme. As a matter of fact, my wife frequently comments how crazy most other women act and has no idea why they do half the things they do. I so enjoy her infinitely practical nature.

Most women don't understand when they come to break up with you that the main thing men hate is being lied to. Don't play games. Don't do one thing in hopes that we'll know your "true feelings" and thus prove we are "the one" because we some how magically read your mind. What Monica says in the last panel, I heard from my first break up so many years after the fact. She hated me for not being upset. She said if I had been upset and "fought for her" we'd still be together. Apparently I failed to "prove" my love.

She told me she wanted to end it. I took her at face value. I don't want someone to stay out of guilt. She never lied to me. I knew exactly what the relationship was about. I loved her enough to let her go, because when you love someone, it's about THEM not YOU. The whole, "You don't deserve someone as screwed up as me" crap is just that, CRAP.

You don't choose who someone else loves. You can't decide who is worthy of someone else's love. That's how love goes. Monica is an idiot. She's picking the more dangerous and "fun" path over the safe and secure path. She's leaving him for one reason and one reason only. He's boring. He's dull. He's stable and secure and there's nothing exciting there. Kevin will pay the bills, do the taxes, take care of all the little things and make for a good partner.

Monica is bored of him and selfish as Hell. He IS better off without her, but not for the reasons that Monica thinks. Ironically, I think if someone tried to explain the REAL reason she's not worthy of him, she'd get all defensive. She's fine with painting herself the martyr, but explain she's just consumed with her own ego, she'd be hurt.

It's fun to be needed, and Kevin doesn't NEED Monica. Kevin is complete without Monica. It's Monica who isn't complete without someone else. Kevin WANTS Monica, but doesn't NEED Monica. Hence why Monica is going with the woman who needs her. Bah.

I predict they will turn into a dual-black hole of emotional need. Eventually one will heal. The other one will find the "healed" one to be too boring and move on to find some other disaster to hook up with.

[captnq]

Okay, this one has pushed me a little to far too fast.

1. Having read the story line from the beginning, I would actually say this was a long time over due.
2. It's actually mandatory from a writer's point of view.

Monica, the character, is suffering from superman syndrome. Which is to say, Monica is too powerful. She's become boring. She cannot die. She can teleport anyone or anything anywhere. She can climb in your head and unleash your demons. Seriously, how could this girl ever lose at anything?

Everyone on the planet vs Monica: Everyone gets a one way trip into the sun.
The few that survive eventually return to Earth. By then Monica has looted the library of Infinite knowledge to figure out how to imprison those who cannot die in a fragment of space-time and feeds them to something with a whole lot of tentacles.

Monica wins!

Boring.

So, since we no longer can physically harm Monica, and Monica cannot be defeated by any means of force, we must give Monica weaknesses, lest her storyline come to an end. So she becomes psychologically crippled. Without it, there is no tension. There are no threats. Monica is going to win. Always. It's why I liked the storyline where she's helping the fae kid. Why? Because she CAN screw that up.

Me with Monica's powers:
Step one, figure out a way to slow down time. (The library should have that somewhere)
Step two, Forgo having any personal life to become the guardian of the world.
Step three, Be everywhere and every when.

Never a hero nor sparrow shall fall without me being there to catch them.

Monica has the ability to right all wrongs. She doesn't. Why? Because mentally, she's not up for the task. She's simply not able to be the one who makes everything better for everyone. She handles things as they come at her. And that's important. If you gave ME Monica's powers, that'd be down right boring.

Panel one: I HAVE THE POWER!!!
Panel two: Everything is right in the world.
Panel three: The End.

And before you start to go on about how it wouldn't be that simple, let me point out that Monica has virtually unlimited power and access to infinite knowledge. Give me that, and I would become exactly what I always wanted to be...

A hero.

PS: Having read my own thread, I came up with an interesting storyline. Future "perfect" Monica comes back to fix everything and make the world a perfect place. Having fixed all wrongs in the future, she's going back in time (only a few days at a time. She's bored and it's more interesting this way.) to fix all wrongs BEFORE they happen. After she fixes everything THIS week, she'll jump back a week before that and solve all the problems a week sooner. It's just something to pass the subjective time.

Of course, one person's view of perfection is not the same as everyone else's...

[zachariah]

I hate to say this, but character wise, Spot on.

Doesn't change the fact this is a monumental pile of self-indulgent crap.

Having the experience of going through this twice (I have an attraction to helping disasters), I can tell you that simply, you cannot help those who don't ask for it. Now my third major relationship continues on in bliss for 20 years now. Why? She thinks like a man and I don't have to deal with any of this crap. For those you you about to get all "Don't gender sterotype" They exist for a reason. People are individuals, but when taken in groups, people start to rhyme. As a matter of fact, my wife frequently comments how crazy most other women act and has no idea why they do half the things they do. I so enjoy her infinitely practical nature.

Most women don't understand when they come to break up with you that the main thing men hate is being lied to. Don't play games. Don't do one thing in hopes that we'll know your "true feelings" and thus prove we are "the one" because we some how magically read your mind. What Monica says in the last panel, I heard from my first break up so many years after the fact. She hated me for not being upset. She said if I had been upset and "fought for her" we'd still be together. Apparently I failed to "prove" my love.

She told me she wanted to end it. I took her at face value. I don't want someone to stay out of guilt. She never lied to me. I knew exactly what the relationship was about. I loved her enough to let her go, because when you love someone, it's about THEM not YOU. The whole, "You don't deserve someone as screwed up as me" crap is just that, CRAP.

You don't choose who someone else loves. You can't decide who is worthy of someone else's love. That's how love goes. Monica is an idiot. She's picking the more dangerous and "fun" path over the safe and secure path. She's leaving him for one reason and one reason only. He's boring. He's dull. He's stable and secure and there's nothing exciting there. Kevin will pay the bills, do the taxes, take care of all the little things and make for a good partner.

A whole lotta truth in this. Of course Kevin taking it well makes Monica feel small inside. She wanted Kevin to yell and get angry at her. She was dumping him despite having a relationship that fit her needs and she was happy about, or at least satisfied with. So dumping Kevin should have hurt him, and made him mad. Then he would say hurtful things, or yell, get angry. By not doing that Monica cannot use his reaction to justify dumping him. She knows it was her decision. While it might be the right decision it hurt Kevin and makes her feel guilty about doing it to him. The rest of her muttering is she's still trying to justify dumping him and make herself feel better about doing it. That is what the "I hate him" is about. Not that he is mean but he made her feel small by being a better person.

The only thing I am surprised about is how quickly this has moved to the bedroom. Monica has not shown any leaning towards being Bi. Suddenly not only is she that way but apparently very comfortable with it as well. In fact I think it has been stated she is solidly hetero by Shelly to Heather many years ago.

[zachariah]

Ouch. The fact that Kevin was so understanding makes it hurt even more. Now imagine that one of your golem girl best friends is going to pick up the slack... This CAN'T turn out good.

Actually, i dunno - i think Monica would be happy for Bud, and probably Kevin, too.

"We're through, but here, have a Bud!"

Hey her eyes glow in the dark. Make that a Bud Lite!

[Jay-Em]

@captnq

I think You're right there.

Monica ís a rather self-absorbed, ego-centric piece of cr.. here & there. She's no saint, far from it.

The writer never shied away from that bit. She has her moments, though. But I thìnk we're being set-up for a giant fall-flat-on-her-face bit of story in the near future. Being omnipotent is exáctly what M cannot deal with, me thinks. She has,like Shelly, always danced around taking real responsibility. They both fèd on each other's flaws. Aggravated them. M is repeating that with Jet. And it's going to bite M's ass in no uncertain manner, me thinks.

Shelly found&took responsability. Monica still tries to get away from it. Shelly grew, M still has quite a bit of growing-up to do, and I think thatJet is NOT a good influence, because she's álso extremely self-absorbed and ego centric. Monica knóws this, and -again- chooses someone that will only worsen those traits. (Tbh, i think Tar just úsed that unpleasant trait of Jet to its advantage.)

Heck! Monica even alluded to Jet's actual character, mirroring her own, when she suddenly popped-in somewhere, just expecting Monica to come along at the snapping of her fingers. That hasn't changed afa I am concerned....

I have to admit that, despite her horrible experiences in her youth, I find Jet a véry unsypathetic (?) character...

The WS story arcs always revolve around one theme : redemption, and the characters' search for it, although they are not always aware of it. The only one áctively being busy with redemption is Phix. (And Nudge, to a certain extent) Her aeons of pondering, and decision to lock herself up, left her with an inate wisdom, severely lacking in the recently-very-powerful. And even Phix slips-up very now and then.

The way Bia has to atone for her egocentric machinations f.i, leaves an interesting bit of story afa M goes, open..

[illiad]

pinglederry: and you are doing exactly was most do, "don't talk about that, I am ignoring it" and so the cycle of ignorance continues, refusing to realise what the problem is!! >:(

[Akeche]

Well this is disappointing. Most people have already said things which I would have.

I guess this is it for Kevin, then? While true we're just two days into the week, it feels like he's going to be swept under the rug and never seen again. Which is... a shame. I think everyone loved when he and Alan were introduced, especially with... God it's horrible, I've forgotten the name of Shelly and Monica's buddy cause he was... once again, swept under the rug a long time ago.

Only remember Daren because he was such a good figure in the comic, but we don't see him anymore either. Admittedly it was supposedly because M didn't need his advice anymore... But I'd wager that wasn't as true as he thought at all.

[illiad]

I wouldn't say that... its all speculation here, only Paul knows...

I think you ALL need a good bit of counselling....

[Grantwhy]

Monica ís a rather self-absorbed, ego-centric piece of cr.. here & there. She's no saint, far from it.

So, not much different from every other titan/sub-titan we've seen so far?

power corrupts, absolute power ... Dude, I can fart rainbows ... *tooot*

[Atomic]

"It's not you, it's me, because:"

1. You don't deserve this (I don't want to hurt you)
2. You don't deserve this (I'm too good for you)
3. You don't deserve this (I'm punishing myself for thinking I've hurt you)
4. I don't love you any more (it was just an illusion)
5. I don't love you any more (I did, but I've found another)
6. I don't love you any more (I did, but it's faded)
7. I don't love you any more (I'm lying to myself - save me)
8. I don't know where this is going (I'm frightened for the future)
9. ...

Does Monica have any room left to grow? Any possibility? Yes, and we now have another plot to follow! Light bulb vs battery perhaps?

Super-ish being aside, she's not done at all!

[Jay-Em]

Monica ís a rather self-absorbed, ego-centric piece of cr.. here & there. She's no saint, far from it.

So, not much different from every other titan/sub-titan we've seen so far?

power corrupts, absolute power ... Dude, I can fart rainbows ... *tooot*

And that's the whole point the writer is making imho. They fuck-up, and atone for that, and grow in the process.

The"gods of yore", esp. the Greek ones, were self-absorbed nasties too, they never felt any remorse afa I know. Contrary to the humans-that-became-sub-titans. M is a self confessed sociopath, so, in retrospect, I am not surprised by her way of dealing. (Or, she just calls herself a Sociopath as a cop-out, to not have to deal with the guilt that's gnawing at her.....mhmmm... )