Hearts and Hooves Day (a.k.a. Valentine's)

[shadowinthelight]

I just feel like venting a bit. This holiday really sucks if you have nopony special to celebrate with. The past couple of days I've felt like flinging stones, not at anyone in particular, but out of frustration in general. Even if there isn't anyone talking about it, it can be a depressing reminder of being alone. It's even worse when it seems everyone you know or meet already got married and/or started having kids like 10 years ago. I'm only 33 so wtf? I guess the joke is on me for consciously not getting married before I was ready or running around making babies. I have been in serious relationships before so it could have happened. Things are actually looking up for me now that I'm working again (my hands still hurt but a tiny bit less every day I think) and am paying off my debts. Then maybe I can move into a nicer apartment like I originally planned to, build a new computer, buy more CDs, splice together Monodon monoceros and Equus ferus caballus DNA to make a real unicorn pony, ect ect but having all the toys in the world doesn't matter much without a partner to play with. I don't mean to be a downer, but sometimes polluting forums with silliness isn't enough to keep this shadow in a good mood. I really hope you guys are having a better time than me.

It's almost 6AM now and I wish I could drink myself to sleep but I don't like the taste of alcohol. Topo Chico mineral water will have to suffice. *burp*

[DinkyInky]

Stability is better. Trust me. I spent 11 years with someone in what I perceived as stable, seven of which I really should not have, and everyone but me saw it. I have a glorious now eight year old, and find myself hoofing it alone for six and a half years of his life. Hearing him cry for him when he was 16 months old, beg for him to come back for three months, then not speak until he was three...painful beyond belief.

Anything, my family calling me lazy and disorganized, getting the looks at the checkout when using any assistances I was lucky enough to get, being told I need to dump kid with someone and "get laid" once in a while. Getting that disapproval of being alone wi th a child...getting told daycare is necessary so you can work, but you don't qualify for it...being told my son doesn't have any LD, I'm a bad parent... I can handle that.

I can handle all that crap and keep going. Only one thing I cannot handle... That is when my child cries. I fall apart. I would do most anything to keep him from sorrow. So I make him a valentine. When he was too little to understand it, we went to assisted living facilities and gave out valentines, and I did not feel so bad. The ache was there, but it feels better to sow seeds of love, than bear and harvest bitter fruits, so I did.

Things have a way of changing when you least anticipate them. I know that is poor compensation, but it is truth. Being 33 is small in the scheme. I will be 40 this summer, and looking at the train wrecks most of my former friends and classmates went through/are still going through...yeah, I am glad I did it my way and stayed single as long as I did...live life one day ata time, and don't sweat the small stuff.

I hope things go well for you in the future, but til then, have a Dinky mom over-the-internet hug.

[Julie]

I understand where you're coming from. I have always had a love/hate relationship with Valentine's Day. The "typical" girl in me always wanted the day to be special, with flowers and/or chocolates and/or stuffed animals, but the "actual me" always thought that it was a crock of $hit. Why does love need to be celebrated on a specifc day designated by someone (or several someones) a while back as "The Romantic Day"? It serves as one of the most expensive and often annoying days for those in relationships who are worrying about whether or not their offerings to their S.O. will be received well, or if they're good enough/better than last year's offerings. Then, it's one of the more depressing days of the year for those who aren't in relationships (or aren't in healthy relationships) because they spend their time having the superficial, materialistic "happiness" of others rubbed in their faces while they wonder why they aren't good enough to experience that kind of happiness with someone.

I can honestly say that my favorite Valentine's Day memory is from college (my first go-round), when I'd just recently gotten out of a manipulative catastrophe of a relationship and (oddly enough) it had snowed overnight, leaving about 3 inches of white all over campus. Couples were walking hand in hand through the snow, enjoying the "romance" of having an excuse to cuddle and stay even closer. My friends and I, however, enjoyed the day by throwing snow balls at anyone who passed our parking lot/fort.

I'm proud that my husband and I agreed early on in our relationship that we would not celebrate Valentine's in the traditional manner. We might make it a point to call or text the other with an extra "I love you," but that's it. We feel that it's more meaningful to celebrate love when we're actually moved to do so...not when Hallmark, Dove, and ProFlowers tell us to.

shadowinthelight, I hope that you don't get too beat down by the disgustingly over-the-top sappiness of Thursday. As someone who didn't get married until age 29 because the other earlier chances to do so were not right, who isn't trying to pop out babies immediately just because everyone around her is doing just that or says she should...I think that you're doing it the right way.

[Fairportfan]

El Goonish Shive desktop image for Valentines Day 2006

The dark-haired gurl is Susan, who is asexual by choice - though that may be changing. (And introducing allsortskinds plot complications, i fear me.) The blonde guy is Justin, who was accidentally outed as gay in an early year of high school and has stood aloof since. The squirrel is Dan Shive's avatar.

[Jabberwonky]

Valentines Day.jpg (30.45 KiB) Viewed 13357 times

[MerchManDan]

I wish I could see Valentine's day as something fun & friendly (or as a cynical way to make a quick buck), but I'm with OP - being single this time of year really sucks. Not that I have anything else to compare it to, since I've been single for every Valentine's day ever. The only relationships I've had always happened over the summertime & didn't last long enough.

[Jabberwonky]

I'm not consciously pimping for them, but Etsy has a nice selection of Anti-Valentinesday goodies...

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[shadowinthelight]

PhilosophicalRobinWilliams.jpg

Is it wrong that I can't concentrate on the profoundness of his statement because of the extra space between the word "alone" and the following comma?



more kerning gone wrong

[Julie]

I'm not consciously pimping for them, but Etsy has a nice selection of Anti-Valentinesday goodies...

EDITED:Valentine's in Texas

Brilliant!! (And might I say I'd be willing to actually celebrate the "holiday" if it meant I got that from my husband...*is VERY Texan*)

PhilosophicalRobinWilliams.jpg

Is it wrong that I can't concentrate on the profoundness of his statement because of the extra space between the word "alone" and the following comma?

Not wrong...it distracted me too the first time I saw it. It's easier to concentrate on the profoundness the second or third time around.

[Dave]

EDITED:Valentine's in Texas
Brilliant!! (And might I say I'd be willing to actually celebrate the "holiday" if it meant I got that from my husband...*is VERY Texan*)

Ummm... Julie... that is not a really good idea. Not at all. Not unless there is something you haven't told us.

That particular gift is only supposed to be given to vampires.

Think about it. Do you really want your husband to shove a steak into your heart?

[shadowinthelight]

Doesn't steak usually go into your heart anyway? The cholesteral part at least.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

[humbug]I just wish people would do their research before celebrating a holiday. I really, really do. And I wish people would stop turning them into excuses for blatant commercialism with zero concern or respect for what the holiday actually stood for.[/humbug]

[Mark N]

[humbug]I just wish people would do their research before celebrating a holiday. I really, really do. And I wish people would stop turning them into excuses for blatant commercialism with zero concern or respect for what the holiday actually stood for.[/humbug]

For that most of them would have to look back a couple millennium to a time before the Roman Empire started twisting all of the religions holidays into a tool to better assimilate other cultures.

[Fairportfan]

EDITED:Valentine's in Texas
Brilliant!! (And might I say I'd be willing to actually celebrate the "holiday" if it meant I got that from my husband...*is VERY Texan*)

Ummm... Julie... that is not a really good idea. Not at all. Not unless there is something you haven't told us.

That particular gift is only supposed to be given to vampires.

Think about it. Do you really want your husband to shove a steak into your heart?

I refer you to Damon Knight's "feghoot", "Eripmav".

About a world where the dominant mobile species are plants, and the animal species are sessile. Where a vampire is a sapsucker.

[Julie]

EDITED:Valentine's in Texas
Brilliant!! (And might I say I'd be willing to actually celebrate the "holiday" if it meant I got that from my husband...*is VERY Texan*)

Ummm... Julie... that is not a really good idea. Not at all. Not unless there is something you haven't told us.

That particular gift is only supposed to be given to vampires.

Think about it. Do you really want your husband to shove a steak into your heart?

Umm...well...

Doesn't steak usually go into your heart anyway? The cholesteral part at least.

Yeah...this. I actually am currently on cholesterol meds and have been told to not eat red meats very often (which is so completely foreign to how I think and live that it's just plain wrong). So I'll take that steak in my heart...because I love steak and miss it so very much.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

[humbug]I just wish people would do their research before celebrating a holiday. I really, really do. And I wish people would stop turning them into excuses for blatant commercialism with zero concern or respect for what the holiday actually stood for.[/humbug]

For that most of them would have to look back a couple millennium to a time before the Roman Empire started twisting all of the religions holidays into a tool to better assimilate other cultures.

Eh... not *quite* that long, actually. Remember, for a few hundred years, Christianity was seen as an illegal Jewish cult. It really wasn't until Constantine and the 4th century that they really got into 'conversion by the sword' and became the Borg of religion.

But yes, it's sadly ironic that most of the religious holidays are, in fact, local customs and religious practices which Christianity incorporated in order to pacify them. Those very 'heretical' and 'heathenistic' 'cults' which fundies so loudly decry were responsible for the origins of many Christian holidays. The 'Easter Bunny' evolving from the story of Astarte, Christmas porting over Yuletide... St. Patrick being glorified for having attempted genocide...

[Mark N]

Eh... not *quite* that long, actually. Remember, for a few hundred years, Christianity was seen as an illegal Jewish cult. It really wasn't until Constantine and the 4th century that they really got into 'conversion by the sword' and became the Borg of religion.

But yes, it's sadly ironic that most of the religious holidays are, in fact, local customs and religious practices which Christianity incorporated in order to pacify them. Those very 'heretical' and 'heathenistic' 'cults' which fundies so loudly decry were responsible for the origins of many Christian holidays. The 'Easter Bunny' evolving from the story of Astarte, Christmas porting over Yuletide... St. Patrick being glorified for having attempted genocide...

Agreed, but I was going on about the fact that the Empire did this long before Christianity existed. The merging of local custom into the belief system was always a part of the assimilation process.

[Dave]

Agreed, but I was going on about the fact that the Empire did this long before Christianity existed. The merging of local custom into the belief system was always a part of the assimilation process.

Yup. I suspect it was an old process, even 'way back when the Akkadians absorbed the Sumerians around 5000 years ago or thereabouts.. And, it's not a simple unidirectional process by any means. Belief systems are nearly living things - they absorb and exchange memes the way bacteria trade plasmid DNA.

[Jabberwonky]

Agreed, but I was going on about the fact that the Empire did this long before Christianity existed. The merging of local custom into the belief system was always a part of the assimilation process.

Yup. I suspect it was an old process, even 'way back when the Akkadians absorbed the Sumerians around 5000 years ago or thereabouts.. And, it's not a simple unidirectional process by any means. Belief systems are nearly living things - they absorb and exchange memes the way bacteria trade plasmid DNA.

So...we can blame the Sumerians for LOL Cats?

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[shadowinthelight]

So...we can blame the Sumerians for LOL Cats?

I thought it was the Egyptians.