A VERY happy wedding...

[Sgt. Howard]

And as for "paranorming" - I'd actually think "outing themselves" would be a better fit, but we'll call the OED about it, anyways.

Plain language might be better. Otherwise, somebody is going to mention "parasailing", someone else is going to get the wrong idea and try to tie a sphinx to a gaff and hoist it up the mast... and things could get very messy, very quickly...

... especially if the sphinx had been drinking at the wedding reception and was already two sheets to the wind.

Even two sheets to the wind, the sphinx would have to be willing to do this...

[jwhouk]

...unless, of course, it was Arania.

And she ticked off Neil even more, somehow.

[Dave]

...unless, of course, it was Arania.

And she ticked off Neil even more, somehow.

Well, she did break her oath, which was definitely a gaff...

[Sgt. Howard]

...unless, of course, it was Arania.

And she ticked off Neil even more, somehow.

Well, she did break her oath, which was definitely a gaff...

She'd be hoisted on her own gaff... (cue rimshot)

[Dave]

She'd be hoisted on her own gaff... (cue rimshot)

You're quite welcome... the establishment is justifiably proud of its exclusive collection of excellent setups and straight lines!

[Sgt. Howard]

"Where are they off to?" asked Atsali.
"I'm thinking YOUR mother asked MY mother for help in the bathroom," snickered Katherine to Buck.
Buck shook his head, "She never saw any reason to learn... then again, we never need toilet paper, our droppings do not burn the plant life and it's just so easy... I'VE spent enough time in human form, I couldn't avoid it. I even eat meat... it's a bit rough on the system if you overdose on greasy pork and then change back to Centaur, but it can be done. Mama spends little time in human and WON'T eat unless she has four legs... Rowdy here is the same way,"
"I ate a whole Cheeseburger once!" he protested.
"And you were green for a day and a half- no, the bulk of us are vegetarians, with a few odd omnivores here and there,"
"Like you?" Kathy asked.
"Like me- just don't ask me to eat liverwurst..."
"So... you all live on family property?" asked Shelly, "you're not out on your own?"
"We're a herd animal that needs lots of room," replied Buck, "It only makes sense- we cannot blend in worth a damn in our natural state, clothes make no sense to us- in fact, your human concept of modesty is something we find amusing- we love to run and commune with nature... and being human TOO long is not comfortable,"
"Buck, where is your place?" asked Kathy.
"Out on the shores of Lake Independence... it's listed as a 'Private Reserve', we seldom have to deal with trespassers."
Open space... very little 'civilization' thereof... lakeside property... clothing optional... Katherine was soaking in the possibilities...

Just outside of the lady's restroom, Erza Molin was busy emptying another trash receptical into his short rolling dumpster. He was just finishing this particular floor when he heard commotion from the restroom itself-
"I thought you said you only had to pee!"
"Well, our kind don't get a whole lot of warning with that... and it ain't gonna happen with me in human... here, hold my dress and stuff..."
"DAISY! YOU WON'T FIT IN THE ...(CRUNCH!!!) ... never... mind... damn... DAMN!!!... oh damn... "
"Did I hit the toilet?"
"... you... covered it..."

[Sgt. Howard]

Lilly and Daisy (Daisy still in feral) emerged from the restroom, giggleing, blushing, Daisy's dress and fittings draped across her back... only to be confronted by Erza who stood with hands on hips and a perfect accusation on his face. Both stood stock still- meanwhile, the rich aroma of fresh horse manure wafted out of the room, confirming his suspicions. He closed his eyes, shook his head slightly, then pointed to a spot of floor off to the side of the door. The vampire and the centaur meekly stood where he indicated. Erza then closed the door, threw a latch and opened a panel to the left side of the door and grabbed a massive lever, pulling it down almost level to the floor.
Immediatly, there came the splooshing, gurgleing sounds of water... enough to fill a small lake, it sounded like... that continued as the lever slowly returned to it's origional position- once there, the sound reduced to a trickle, then silence.
Erza undid the latch and opened the door to inspect- much was still wet, but everything sparkled. He THEN motioned Daisy over to the door and pointed at a panel to the right. Grabbing her right hand, he pressed her palm against the panel and knocked just above it with his knuckles. He then motioned Daisy to look inside.

It was now a patch of meadow.

"OH!!! Land's sakes, I didn't know that!" she stated- Erza rolled his eyes.

[Hansontoons]

Potty humor. The world needs more of it!

[jwhouk]

Country Centaur and the City Vampire?

[jwhouk]

Let's see:

• Sex
• Violence
• Drug use (alcohol)
• Intrigue
• Relationships
• Family issues
• Bathroom Humor
• Rock & Roll (kinda)

...Yeah, I think we're hitting on all cylinders here.

Of course, to make this a Minneapolis thing, we'd need the Purple One to make an appearance. But I don't think even Monica cares for his stuff much.

[Sgt. Howard]

Country Centaur and the City Vampire?

"Draculina & Dobbin"... the whole chapter ought to be called "Meet my Mom,"

[Sgt. Howard]

Of course, to make this a Minneapolis thing, we'd need the Purple One to make an appearance. But I don't think even Monica cares for his stuff much.

... I ... PRAY ... you ... don't ... mean... BARNEY!!!

[Hansontoons]

Of course, to make this a Minneapolis thing, we'd need the Purple One to make an appearance. But I don't think even Monica cares for his stuff much.

... I ... PRAY ... you ... don't ... mean... BARNEY!!!

Nah. That short guy that sings about rain colored purple. Went by an unpronounceable symbol for a while.

[TazManiac]

Well, ol' purple-knucklehead works semi-anonymously sometimes:
Madhouse for example, came out with two albums;

8

16


That might make for some Tube worthy listening...

[Sgt. Howard]

Well, ol' purple-knucklehead works semi-anonymously sometimes:
Madhouse for example, came out with two albums;

8

16


That might make for some Tube worthy listening...

1928 Thompson carbine (16 inch barrel) where somebody cobbled a vertical grip onto the standard horizontal forgrip. Cutts compensator. 50 round drum magazine ("BANJO")-
Nearly impossible to control barrel climb, magazine gets fouled up real easy, no accuracy 'spray and pray', fairly heavy for what it does...

...wouldn't mind owning one- I know how to tune the mag...

[jwhouk]

1928 Thompson carbine (16 inch barrel) where somebody cobbled a vertical grip onto the standard horizontal forgrip. Cutts compensator. 50 round drum magazine ("BANJO")-
Nearly impossible to control barrel climb, magazine gets fouled up real easy, no accuracy 'spray and pray', fairly heavy for what it does...

...wouldn't mind owning one- I know how to tune the mag...

...The wife has you trained well, hasn't she.

By the way - in our "final draft", the scene where I'm confronting a "recovering" Nudge (what I call the "FRAUD!" discussion) will be moving to right after the scene where Phix talks to her about me.

[Sgt. Howard]

1928 Thompson carbine (16 inch barrel) where somebody cobbled a vertical grip onto the standard horizontal forgrip. Cutts compensator. 50 round drum magazine ("BANJO")-
Nearly impossible to control barrel climb, magazine gets fouled up real easy, no accuracy 'spray and pray', fairly heavy for what it does...

...wouldn't mind owning one- I know how to tune the mag...

...The wife has you trained well, hasn't she.

By the way - in our "final draft", the scene where I'm confronting a "recovering" Nudge (what I call the "FRAUD!" discussion) will be moving to right after the scene where Phix talks to her about me.

THAT's what I was thinking when I wrote it- and yea... when I was down in CA, a girl was asking me for directions in a persistent manner, in an area where I really didn't know the terrain- it took me a while to understand she was hitting on me. She was like twenty something- I turn sixty-one in August. I scratched my eyebrow with my left hand, allowing the sunlight to reflect onto her eyes from my wedding band- she caught that and said, "Oh... you're married," with a real disappointed look. I said, "Yes... and I am sixty years old,"
She called me a liar. I showed her my driver's license. She was shocked... thought I was not quite forty.
She was embarrassed. I was amused...

... besides, the gun is easier to maintain than a mistress

[Sgt. Howard]

CORRECTION- Thompson 1923 Deluxe Carbine... that was the only model to sport that fore-end. Still impossible to control as it was using the same 'Blish' lock-up system that made the Thompson famous.

[Sgt. Howard]

Lilly and Daisy ambled over to where the rest of the gang had assembled- it is to note that Daisy was still in full feral, her dress and underthings draped across her back while holding her shoes in her hand. One might wonder that she at least did not put on her bra, except that as a centaur her human torso was quite larger than it would be in two-legged format... thus, her C- cup plus boobs were 'in the breeze' as they would be at home. Kevin and Alan, who had NO previous experience with centaurs, averted their eyes as she approached... but Neil, Justin, all three of her children and all of the girls seemed to take it in stride. Atsali marveled that Daisy was unashamed of her breasts- Castela was fascinated... so was Kathy.
Lilly's phone went off again- "Damn!" she muttered as she looked at who was calling," I gotta go," and off she went to the nearest exit.
"What put a burr in her hoof?" Daisy asked.
"Well.. she DOES work for the FBI," Monica offered, "Perhaps she is on a case?"
"She works for the Flat Bush Idiots? No wonder she's so short-tempered..." Daisy mused- she then looked at Monica- "You look so different with your clothes on,"
"Hah! So do you," she rejoined.

Suzi was waiting outside the morgue when Lilly showed up.
"Glad you could join us," she snarked.
"Yea,yea- whatever- just met my daughter's boyfriend's family... Momma's a nag... LITERALLY... a nag... what have we got here?"
"Well... it seems that one of these nitwits shot Buck Alexander in the back with an ancient .38 Smith... seems he didn't know..."
"The whole Alexander family are Centaurs," Lilly finished, then started- "you said Buck took the bullet? BUCK ALEXANDER TOOK THE BULLET? AND THEN BEAT THE LIFE OUT OF HIM?!?... son of a bitch..."
"I'm reasonably certain his Mother is a Mare- why is that so exciting? And how did you know..."
"Buck was seeing my daughter at the hospital when this went down- and I met his dam just a bit ago,"
"What's wrong with Kathy?"
"Nothing to worry about- soooo, what's here besides a stiff?"
Suzi smiled, showing her fangs- "His accomplist- would you...?... you..."- Suzi took a good look at Lilly-" YOU'VE HAD BLOOD!!! OMG!!! YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!!!"
"By the time I get done here, I will look gorgeous..."

He wouldn't give his name. He refused to co-operate in any fashion. He had not yet asked for a lawyer... he had not even acknowledged that he had been read his rights. He was brought down to the morgue via the service entrance. He had no understanding where he was until a Deputy Sheriff pulled open a locker to display a corpse with a pulped face.

Then, in spite of the cold room, he began to sweat.

Suzi and Lilly made their entrance. Both walked up to him, learing playfully. He was fairly confused... until both girls bared their fangs. Lilly turned on the dead corpse and sank her canines into the jugular vein, slurping noisily, while Suzy stared at the boy and licked her lips, allowing her eyes to go feral. The sight of her eyes changing color to blood red had the effect of sealing the deal.

From an arrogant, sullen street punk, he turned into a very talkative fellow. His information brought down a major meth operation across the river. Seventy-plus arrests, five labs shut down and sixteen city officials under investigation... and much of his information continued to bear fruit.

His current name and whereabouts is in the witness protection program juristiction.

He still has nightmares.

[jwhouk]

(Aside: It should be noted that the "river" he's talking about is not the Mississippi; it's the Saint Croix. If you have questions, go look up the explanation in The Cricket and the Counselor thread.)