Re: Bad Jokes II
Posted: Sun May 12, 2019 6:06 pm
Never underestimate the resourcefulness of New Yorkers:
A place to discuss the world of Wapsi Square
https://forum.wapsisquare.com/
Sounds like you either live near the Heights, or in my neighborhood.Hansontoons wrote: ↑Wed May 08, 2019 8:40 pm The "J" is putting up with inner-loop life in Houston the best she can. Her previous life at the Casa de Inundación was rather different. it's been a year since we moved and she has accepted her current lot in life- as long as rawhide chews are on hand. The area we have available for walks consists of several blocks of surface streets with a mix of single family homes from the 40's/50's and much newer townhomes. She does have preferences for where to go- it depends on if there is an annoying barky dog behind a fence or gate. We cross side to side at her discretion. There are canine friendly establishments within easy walking distance, and she knows them well. One even provides tasty biscuits to four-legged visitors. Needless to say, that one is a favorite.
Shady Acres, south of 610 off Ella.Bookworm wrote: ↑Wed May 15, 2019 2:49 pmSounds like you either live near the Heights, or in my neighborhood.Hansontoons wrote: ↑Wed May 08, 2019 8:40 pm The "J" is putting up with inner-loop life in Houston the best she can. Her previous life at the Casa de Inundación was rather different. it's been a year since we moved and she has accepted her current lot in life- as long as rawhide chews are on hand. The area we have available for walks consists of several blocks of surface streets with a mix of single family homes from the 40's/50's and much newer townhomes. She does have preferences for where to go- it depends on if there is an annoying barky dog behind a fence or gate. We cross side to side at her discretion. There are canine friendly establishments within easy walking distance, and she knows them well. One even provides tasty biscuits to four-legged visitors. Needless to say, that one is a favorite.
Yup - I drive through there up to five times a week. I'm in Lindale Park - Cavalcade and 610.Hansontoons wrote: ↑Fri May 17, 2019 7:28 amShady Acres, south of 610 off Ella.Bookworm wrote: ↑Wed May 15, 2019 2:49 pmSounds like you either live near the Heights, or in my neighborhood.Hansontoons wrote: ↑Wed May 08, 2019 8:40 pm The "J" is putting up with inner-loop life in Houston the best she can. Her previous life at the Casa de Inundación was rather different. it's been a year since we moved and she has accepted her current lot in life- as long as rawhide chews are on hand. The area we have available for walks consists of several blocks of surface streets with a mix of single family homes from the 40's/50's and much newer townhomes. She does have preferences for where to go- it depends on if there is an annoying barky dog behind a fence or gate. We cross side to side at her discretion. There are canine friendly establishments within easy walking distance, and she knows them well. One even provides tasty biscuits to four-legged visitors. Needless to say, that one is a favorite.
You also know you live in a really big city when, in describing where you live to a native, you have to say which little sub city you live in.
"A friend said to me: I just found out today that I'm color-blind. The news came to me totally out of the green."
"My uncle once gambled away his car in Las Vegas. I tell you, the rental company was furious!"
"I enjoyed puns as a child, but that was uPun a time. There are days when I consider Punching people who Punctuate their Punchlines with puns, but that would be Punkind..."
"A good pun is its own re-word..."
"A friend tries to annoy me with bird puns, I remind him that two-can play that game..."
"He says that the only people who dislike puns, are those who are laughtose intolerent..."
The winners of this month's Laugh Again contest:
"My doctor says my obsession with puns is just a phrase I'm going through..."
"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left hand? Don't worry, he's all right, now..."
"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I just don't know 'Y'..."
"What do you call a dinosaur with poor vision? A 'doyouthinkhesaurus'..."
"There was a kidnapping at school, yesterday... Don't worry, he woke up..."
"What kind of short do clouds wear? Thunderwear..."
"Did you hear about the soldier who survived pepper spray? He's a seasoned veteran..."
"What should you call an average potato? A commontater..."
"About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in grease. After that, he went downhill fast..."
"If you're thinking of singing karaoke with a friend, just duet..."
"I wanted to be an astronaut, when I was a kid, but my parents told me the sky's the limit..."
"They're finally making a movie about clocks. It's about time..."
"Bad spellers of the world untie!"
"A sign said that falling rocks. So I tried it, and it doesn't."
"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in big trouble! You have my Word!"
"Fred Allen once said: Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns... He should be drawn and quoted..."
"I'd like to tell you a pun about a sick bird, but it's ill eagle..."
I keep wondering why people insist on advertising to all drivers that their children are mentally handicapped. They keep saying "SLOW CHILDREN AT PLAY".Typeminer wrote: ↑Sun Aug 18, 2019 6:24 pm Some of the information signs on the Pennsylvania Turnpike are inconsistent from section to section. Brother and I have been arguing for decades over whether it's really necessary to be a lert, or if it's sufficient to just keep one in the trunk.
*Hits the gas toward the next exit.*
Or how about advertising loose morals? I've seen signs that tell people to slow down, as the child they see might be theirs.
Truth in advertising?
Is that like "Fallen Rock Ahead"? I mean, I _really_ don't care about its sex life.lake_wrangler wrote: ↑Mon Aug 19, 2019 7:20 amOr how about advertising loose morals? I've seen signs that tell people to slow down, as the child they see might be theirs.