Doing it right...

[DinkyInky]

I believe I know someone with a S&W .500 . . . though he might have just wanted one really badly.

I know he has a .454 Casull, which was interesting to shoot.

--FreeFlier

Hellsing fan? Thoigh the only ones I know who had those were Hellsing fanatics, because they sure didnt get 'em as their first gun for practical reasons...

[FreeFlier]

I believe I know someone with a S&W .500 . . . though he might have just wanted one really badly.

I know he has a .454 Casull, which was interesting to shoot.

Hellsing fan? Thoigh the only ones I know who had those were Hellsing fanatics, because they sure didnt get 'em as their first gun for practical reasons...

Nope. I'm pretty sure he had them well before that movie, and I doubt he's more than heard of the movie.

--FreeFlier

[Sgt. Howard]

Right at that point, Greg looked up the driveway to see the tall, lanky frame of Roger Oyler walking down towards his place.
"Heads up, John- this guy's an ex- State Trooper,"
"HOWARD! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?"
"Hi Rog- fitting custom grips on a customer weapon here-"
Roger stopped in his tracks and sized up the 'customer. Roger himself is 6' 4". John towered over him. Roger approached the range bench, noting that the ear protection was off. Whinnying horses and a fresh spate of profanity caught his attention from behind. He looked around at the source- shaking his head, he turned to Greg, "You'll have to drop off at least three loves of home-made bread if you don't want her gathering a crowd to tar and feather you- JEEE SUSSS, boy what are you shooting here? You know Washington's not a class II state!"
"John, this is Roger Oyler- he lives right up the drive- first neighbor I met when I moved in here. Rog, this is John Smith- he hunts Kodiak bear up in Alaska... and has a hard time finding anything that will fit his hands,"
The two shook, and Roger immediately understood why he might have an issue there.
"Kodiak?!? And I thought people who rode bulls were insane... what are you shooting there... IS THAT A .500 SMITH?!?"
"Yup- still warm... care to give it a pop?" John smirked.
Roger stared at it for just a bit... bragging rights vs. potential injury, one could see the argument rolling through his head. Testosterone finally won out.
"Sure thing- I've never seen one of these things in action... HOLY CRAP, HOWARD!!! YOUR TARGETS!!!"
Greg looked at the sight downrange- his heavy, swinging steel targets were hopelessly mangled from the six rounds that John had dumped.
"Yea... I welded them together from scrap metal... no big deal... here, you want this on... I'll just plug my ears,"
Roger put on the ear covers, popped open the cylinder, loaded one round and aimed at a target using a modified Cooper stance. Manually cocking the hammer, he took a deep breath and started to squeeze...
Greg had positioned John right behind him- when the recoil took him off balance, he merely bumped into John instead of tripping and falling, Eyes big, he placed the gun back on the bench and removed the ear covers. He was shaking, his breathing irregular, yet there was a smile across his face... not many have fired a .500 Smith in these parts, making him part of a rare fraternity.
"...wow... even with the protection on, my ears are ringing... you're a bad influence on me, Howard... "
"Heh- you sound like you're complaining... here, here's a souvenir," Greg said as he opened the action and removed the brass, "Clean it out and you can use that as a shot glass,"
To the South West, a fresh spate of profanity emerged...

[DinkyInky]

I believe I know someone with a S&W .500 . . . though he might have just wanted one really badly.

I know he has a .454 Casull, which was interesting to shoot.

Hellsing fan? Thoigh the only ones I know who had those were Hellsing fanatics, because they sure didnt get 'em as their first gun for practical reasons...

Nope. I'm pretty sure he had them well before that movie, and I doubt he's more than heard of the movie.

--FreeFlier

Movie? ...oh. No. Hang on...



http://www.aliexpress.com/item-img/New- ... 30249.html

[Dave]

Hmmm. Not a good cosplay accessory to be carrying around outside the con hotel suite, I would think. No orange tip, all sorts of room for a serious misinterpretation by a law enforcement or security officer

How heavy did the armorer say that monster is? 17 kilograms?!? 'Twould put down a brontosaurus without much difficulty...

[GlytchMeister]

Daisy eyed the bag that contained Al's clothes from Prescott's and sighed. She knew she was unlikely to see her beloved wearing them until the day of the wedding...

But she was feeling a tad impatient lately.
I wonder why... she thought, rolling her eyes. No... He has his reasons... But maybe I could get him to try it on. What if...
Her thoughts were interrupted by Glytch passing by with a vacuum-packed bag, a pair of shoes, and a lumpy bulge in his hoodie pocket with a very vociferously celebrating Nudge in tow.
"Oh, good gawd! Sorry, kid, but it's so nice having some air to swing my horns in again!" She blared, stretching as she walked.
Well, well, well. That's certainly an idea... Daisy grinned and stood, a mischievous spark in her eye.

...

"I wonder if we shouldn't make sure everyone tries on their outfits for the wedding, just to be sure they're all ready to go on the big day..." She spoke a little loudly to no one in particular, making sure everyone nearby could hear.
Joe shrugged noncommittally. "I'm just wearing a good shirt and jeans... Nothing I haven't worn in the past month. I'm ready."
Sarah, on the other hand, caught Daisy's tone and smiled. "Well, it would certainly be a bit awkward to find someone else is wearing the same thing at the wedding. Go on, honey."
"...dear, it's jeans and a buttoned shirt. I'd be surprised if nobody showed up in my outfit."

Cinnamon gave Rowdy a wicked look. "She has a point, brother... You need to get yourself dressed up beforehand to make sure all of your stuff still fits... You've put on a few pounds, haven't you?"
"I HAVE NOT!" Rowdy crossed his arms and stomped a hoof indignantly.
"Oh, really, now? You've been going through your shoes a little faster, ya big lug!"
Kathy gave Buck a look, her eyes twinkling with mischief. "Well, it would be a good idea... Just to make sure everything looks right and fits well."
"Kath, I'm not gonna play 'dress-up' in front of everyone."
Glytch couldn't help himself. "Oh? Who will you play dress-up in front of?" He smirked at Buck, who responded with narrowed eyes...
"You just went back and got your own stuff, didn't you? D'you have something special in store for us?" Atsali walked in with a raised eyebrow and a disconcertingly hopeful-looking Castela in tow.
"Did, did someone say 'play dress-up?' That sounds fun!"
All of the men exchanged glances, trying to find someone among them who was cold enough to let down the cute little stinkweed... Unsuccessfully.
Al placed his hands on the table and slowly rose, smiling a little at Daisy... He knew full well what had transpired... And he was impressed with how Daisy had accomplished it. "Well, it seems we have little choice in the matter, boys. Come on, let's get to it."
With that, he led the males from the main room.

Daisy waited until they were all gone before she let her triumphant grin out. Cinnamon took one look at her and giggled. "Well done, mama!"

[Dave]

Isn't it considered bad luck, to see the bridle before the wedding?

(Places a nice selection of centaur-mane-safe hair dyes into the Pun Jar, in case somebody wants a horse of a different color. Or a different collar, for that matter.)

[Sgt. Howard]

(Dark stage with two spots- one is on Al, stage left, the other is on Daisy, stage right. Al is in formalwear, Daisy in feral with a 'Daisy Mae' top. Both have microphones. Piano gives four bars introit.)

Al- (More than decent Baritone) You see this guy.... this guy's in love with you... yes I'm in love... who looks at you the way I do?
When you smile, I can tell we know each other very well... how can.... I show you... I'm glad... I got to know you 'cause-

Daisy- (Fluttery Alto) You see, this gal... this gal thinks that you're ...fine...(emphasis on 'fine', Daisy does spectacular tail fan)- yes I'm in love, and what I'd do to make you mine-
tell me now, is it so?
Al- don't let me be the last to know
Daisy- my hands.... are shaking
Al- don't let.... my heart keep breaking 'cause

Both- Al takes bass- I need your Love... I want your love... say you're in love, in love with this guy (Daisy 'you'll be my guy')

if not I'll just....die...

[Just Old Al]

Sarge...you WILL pay for that one....

And now back to the story.

Al returned to his room, more than a bit amused at the request for a dress rehearsal. Daisy had made a few oblique remarks about trying on the tuxedo, but he'd marked that down to simple curiosity. Now, he saw it in a different light - his lady friend had what looked to be a serious taste for a well-dressed gentleman. He could see himself playing to this in the future, but for now the dress rehearsal was on.

After a quick shower, he began to dress. First the silks - carefully draped to prevent unsightly wrinkles in the top layers. Then, he went over and stripped the EK lining from his coat. This went on over the silks and was fastened with its buttons to be a smooth layer from nearly to the wrists, to the throat and down to the lower chest region.

Now, he opened the garment bag, removing the tuxedo and its accessories. Removing the jacket from its hanger and setting it on the clothes horse, he shook out the trousers, clucking at the crease across the knees. Have to press that out before the wedding, he thought, then chuckled at his own vanity. Donning the trousers, he then pressed the silver studs into the shirt front and donned it, fastening the cuffs with the silver cufflinks with the 1 Para blazon on them.

Braces from their package, there were a few minutes of fiddling to get them to the right length and not interfering with the shoulder holster, which he donned next.

With this on, he bent, stretched, squatted and moved. The outfit followed him perfectly, not restricting his movements in any way. He needed to write to Prescott's after this and compliment them on their work - with the time constrains they'd done remarkably well.

The shoes - carefully wiped to glisten as new leather does - were next on, and as expected fitted perfectly. The rubber soles would prevent slipping in any possible conditions - not as good as his boots but the best that could be done in the situation.

Lastly, the coat. Al took the time to fill the ammunition pocket for the Webley to its full capacity - if one is going to have a dress rehearsal one should do so properly. With the coat on, Webley in place Al went through the bending and stretching exercises again. His motions were completely unrestricted, and the tuxedo moved with him as if it were a second skin. The extra layer of lamellar armor made no difference in his movements and the cut of the coat minimized that and the bulge of the weapon under his right arm.

Adding his dress coat and the carefully-brushed hat was the work of a moment, and he was ready. Stepping to the door, he took a deep breath, straightened his shoulders, and stepped out to the hall.

[Sgt. Howard]

Isn't it considered bad luck, to see the bridle before the wedding?

(Places a nice selection of centaur-mane-safe hair dyes into the Pun Jar, in case somebody wants a horse of a different color. Or a different collar, for that matter.)

Only if you display the crop during the ceremony...

[Just Old Al]

Isn't it considered bad luck, to see the bridle before the wedding?

(Places a nice selection of centaur-mane-safe hair dyes into the Pun Jar, in case somebody wants a horse of a different color. Or a different collar, for that matter.)

Only if you display the crop during the ceremony...

And save the spurs for...later.

[Just Old Al]

“What the hell happened back there?” Buck asked, a trifle nettled as they headed over to the guest house to pick up Buck’s formal wear. Rowdy’s was already at the main house, so this was a small breather for both before they got changed.

“We got suckered by the womenfolk – led by YOUR mother, I might add. What brought that on?” Rowdy shook his head, laughing.

“It’s all this two-legs thing. She’s developing a taste for clothes, and it seems for clothes on her men.” Buck laughed ruefully. “It seems there’s been a monster created here – and we seem to be catching the fallout.”

“Oh, give it a break! You have no problems with high-tailing for Katherine – think of this as high-tailing without a tail. You know how good you look in this stuff, and Katherine loves you in it.”

“Far too true, little brother. Far too true. Oh, well, we’ll just have to make the best of it.” Buck ducked into the house and collected his formalwear, then he and Rowdy headed back to the house to change.

--------

The brothers walked into the great room to the acclaim of the female population of the house.

Physically they could not be more different, though the familial aspect was strong on both.

Tall and lean, Rowdy sported a classic Western formal look with a bold stamp of color. Black jeans and polished black boots, with silver and turquoise accents at collar and belt buckle, he sported a long coat in dark red over a linen shirt and a string tie to match the jacket. The whole was topped by a spotless black Stetson, also adorned with silver and turquoise.

Buck, broad-shouldered and massive compared to his younger brother, was also in Western formal but of a more dignified stripe. Grey long coat and pants to match, he sported black boots and a silver belt buckle cast with the Alexander logo. His collar tips also glinted with silver, as did the ribbon at the base of his Stetson. A string tie in grey completed the look over a swathe of spotless white silk shirt.

[Sgt. Howard]

"Neil....?" Phix coo'd at the Centurion.
"Hmmm? Whatcha want, m'dear?" Neil murmured over his paper.
She purred, loud and seductively- his head snapped up like a tripwire device.

She was wearing pasties, a 'G' string, garter belt, silk stockings, 5.5" stiletto heels... and a smile... on a human body.

There was a momentary cranial flatline- then the paper was folded and stowed without a glance, he arouse and walked over to his wife to more closely ... examine... her wardrobe. Just as he got within arm's length, she returned to her normal jeans and shirt.
"YOU, are a TEASE!!!" he blurted, "WHAT is going ON?!?"
"YOU are going on... get your act together there, Romeo- get your wedding duds on, stud- I get to prance you in front of all the ladies and YOU need to SHINE, so get your hunky ass into your tux so I can show all the ladies what I get to play with,"
He stood there dumbfounded for a short- "What was that 'bump-and-grind suit' all about?"

"Something for you to FOCUS on while you're strutting your stuff..." she giggled.

[GlytchMeister]

[GlytchMeister]

{Credit to Al for everything up to Justin opening the door and striding through}

"Well, it seems we have little choice in the matter, boys. Come on, let's get to it."

With that, Justin joined the procession of men headed to their rooms to change. Two feelings warred within him – one of cooperation, and the other of mulish determination.

Justin realized as well as any one of the men that they’d been suckered – plain and simple. Daisy was going to get her way, and get her fashion show. A small part of him really didn’t want to do this – part of it was putting on his uniform while on administrative leave, and the rest was not having Shelley there to appreciate the spectacle as well.

What’s the fun of showing off if you can’t show off to your best girl?

Shelley was off somewhere, though, doing something about a wedding dress. Justin hoped she didn’t kill somebody this time – the last time the clerk who told her that her biceps were like Popeye nearly didn’t survive his rudeness.

Whatever. He needed to try this stuff on anyway just to make sure it was right.

A quick clean-up and the garment bag came out of the closet. Regulation grey trousers with a black satin stripe, and a starched white shirt and dark blue tie.

Justin topped this with his uniform jacket, meticulously checked for the slightest trace of lint or dust. This had a gold epaulet and his name badge – EPIMETHUS.

He buttoned it on, giving the brass buttons a quick polish with a cloth. Over this went the wide Sam Browne belt with the diagonal shoulder strap for support – when in use this would have supported a pistol, but now was empty.

Topped with the shined brim of his dress cap he looked at himself in the mirror – and liked what he saw. Damn the administrative leave – he was a cop, and a good one. Daisy would get her show – all of them would get a good look at what an officer of the law could look like.

With that, he tucked the uniform cap under his arm, and checked his look again for straightness. Then, he marched to the door, opened it, and strode through.

As he got closer to the main room, he thought he heard his beloved's voice, and he quickened his pace. Is she back? He smiled at the prospect of seeing Shelly. He knew they'd only been apart for a day, but time apart seemed so much longer with Nodaki on the prowl.
He threw open the door and scanned the crowd of women, immediately locking his eyes with Shelly's...
Justin took his hat out from under his arm and held it off to the side toward Al without taking his eyes off of his fiancé... The Brit smiled knowingly and took it, holding it carefully. The moment he did so, Justin took long, quick strides toward his beloved.
There was a long moment during which the rest of the world didn't seem to exist as they drew closer. Justin felt a huge weight lift off of his heart the moment he felt Shelly's arms wrap tight around him as his own arms did the same to her. They exchanged a long, somewhat passionate kiss before the rest of the world came back into existence and they parted... Slightly. Shelly cleared her throat and grinned. "Well, I think I know which one is the most handsome! Calm down ladies, he's taken!"

[Sgt. Howard]

Annie walked in the door just in time to hear her boast- "Well, actually, I think he's a good second... except... where is he?" Annie looked around to see that Greg was missing.
"He took John someplace to get a gun," Brandi answered, "I'm not sure where- some place called 'Dave's'..."
"He went home- huh- did he say when he might be back?"
"Right about now," Greg replied as he and John entered the house, "Just got back from Oyler's field... Roger was sure impressed with... whoah... what's going on here?" he asked as he scanned around the room.
"Get yourself a scrub-down and put on your finery, Howard- you need to shine for your 'Sunshine', hillbilly- git with you!"

[Just Old Al]

Author’s note: I posed this question to my wife – and what you have here is her exact reaction… Thank you, Pam!

As the men straggled out from their changing rooms pandemonium erupted. Justin came out and immediately glued himself to Shelley, who proclaimed she had the handsomest man there.

This was loudly decried by all of the other women there, who admiringly said that THEIR selection was the finest there - and have no doubt on it. Over and above their own immediate choices, however, each did declare that they’d never seen such a fine herd of handsome men.

A trifle confused by all of the female attention, the men walked around, preening a bit under the gaze of the crowd of women. With all the noise, Rosalita and the maids stuck their heads out of the kitchen, and an argument broke out over which was the prettiest. The winners of that discussion of course, were the males of the household – Buck and Rowdy - with Rowdy as the favorite.

Al walked over to Daisy, and unbuttoned his overcoat, revealing the well-fitted tuxedo underneath. Like a runway model, he took off the overcoat and leisurely flung it over one shoulder, taking a small turn on the floor to show the fit.

Daisy's reaction was immediate and gratifying.

"DAY-UMM, MAN! You look GOOD!" she said loudly, the look on her face more than making up for the inconvenience.

This reaction was being duplicated all over the room - Katherine was holding Buck off at arm's length and looking him up and down. Shelley was still glued to Justin, and one of the lamps had been endowed with his uniform cap so Al could deal with Daisy. Cinnamon was wolf whistling at her younger brother, who was alternating between embarrassment and pride at the reactions he was getting.

Neil, showing the confidence and poise that 2,000 years will earn you, was modeling his clothing like a seasoned professional - and Phix was enjoying every minute of the show.

Last out of the gate was Greg, having come in, cleaned up and changed quickly. In his Victorian best with a derby he was all Annie had eyes for – and you could feel the affection between them like an electric charge in the air.

Daisy looked up, tearing her eyes off the man she realized cleaned up VERY nicely despite his usual taste for scruffy khakis and boots..

"Where the hell is Glytch?"

[GlytchMeister]

Glytch moved quickly, picking up his bag of clothes, a few hangers, his toiletries, the bag of holding, and the extras he picked up from his apartment before heading to the bathroom.
He turned on the water and set it a little hotter than he usual and proceeded to unpack the bag - it hissed and expanded quite a lot when he first opened it. Everything was hung up in place of the towels. Then he stripped and showered, wincing at the heat, before hopping out and carefully shaving with his hand razor, making sure to get as close a shave as he could.
Finished with his preening, Glytch turned off the water and turned on the fan to siphon out the steam. His clothes had successfully de-wrinkled in the heavy steam his shower had produced. He sprayed a single spritz of cologne on his chest and got dressed. First to go on was a very tight, long-sleeved Omni-wool undershirt that Glytch had modified to include a hood. Then went Eme's chainmail coif, followed by the signature piece - an intense red, silk dress shirt Glytch had custom-ordered to have a hood. The right side was covered with a filigree of fractal embroidery, done with a slightly darker red silk that gradually faded away to the left, stopping completely just before the button line. Then Glytch clipped on the black tie - he hated the real ones, and this one had the added benefit of not letting anyone choke him with it.
Next, he put on a pair of black socks with very thin, sparse red diagonal lines stitched in, followed by black trousers and a black leather belt with a polished steel buckle. Then he knelt and put on the shiny black leather dress shoes, which Glytch had chosen for their flexibility, comfort, and for how light they were - they were made for traveling businessmen who tended to walk a lot. Standing again, Glytch carefully tucked in his shirt, folding it at the sides to get rid of wrinkles.
Now for some flash... Glytch put on a silver solar analog watch (which he had to reset after spending so much time in that box), Eme's silver and onyx penguin cameo cabochon cufflinks, and Glytch's cherished college graduation ring - it had a beautiful Burma ruby set in silver, and both sides of the ring had tiny Mandlebrot Set fractals carved into them.
He dried his short, brown hair one more time before finally raising the tight hoods of the undershirt and the coif, draping the looser cowl of the silk shirt over top. Then came the black woolen jacket; he hopped on the spot to get it to set properly on his shoulders.
To top it all off, Glytch threw on his black, full-length, water-repellant overcoat with a red-dyed alpaca fur liner... Then he took it off and carefully hid the elven Kevlar liner between the alpaca fur and the outer shell before replacing it, shrugging to set it into place.
"Every girl's crazy 'bout tha sharp dressed maaan..." He muttered, smiling. I still think this was worth three years of birthdays and Christmases.

He dropped the two bags off in his bedroom before going back to the main room, smiling a little when he noted how his coat flowed behind him rather impressively as he walked. Just then, he heard Daisy ask "Where the hell is Glytch?"
He opened the door and strode in, back straight and head high, as all eyes turned to look at him.
"Speak his name, and he shall appear." Glytch said, smirking under his hood.

[jwhouk]

---
"Welp, I'm out." I stood up and headed for the portal. "Not gonna match all that, sorry."

"But Jo-ooooee..." came the disappointed cries from the ladies in the room.

"Sorry. Unfortunately, I do work tonight. And I think it's Lily's turn - " I pointed at her across the room - "To be my 'babysitter' tonight."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I will be so glad when this crap is over..."

"Yeah, well, I wish I could say the same."

[GlytchMeister]

Aw, did we scare you away?

I'm sure you could totally rock the casual look, man...