Pillsbury + 1 year:

[Warrl]

Gentlemen, and I use the term VERY loosely, Sterling is a member of CA. As such (though she certainly does not need it) she is under the automatic dignity coverage part of the CA membership policy.

Do you ...ahem, gentlemen..really want to irritate the CA A-list by trying to deliberately ruffle her feathers?

I suggest not.

I don't think Club Alexander has an A-list.

[GlytchMeister]

Nadette, sort of. She's a shapeshifter and she wasn't part of the group on lockdown, but she's close enough. And maybe the elves?

[DinkyInky]

Nadette, sort of. She's a shapeshifter and she wasn't part of the group on lockdown, but she's close enough. And maybe the elves?

The Elves have curves(they're half elves yanno).

[jwhouk]

Sarah is DEFINITELY not an A-lister.

[GlytchMeister]

... What about Bud and maybe Jin? Not so sure about Brandi.

[Just Old Al]

I don't think Club Alexander has an A-list.

Really? By that criteria there isn't an A-lister in the bunch except Jet - and she's a bleedin' supermodel.

What I was referring to when you all took your little nose-dive into the gutter was the entire raft of apex predators that would look askance at your harassing Ms. Sterling.

Never piss off a houseful of apex predators...for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

[GlytchMeister]

Actually, humans taste closer to pork. We go better with barbecue sauce.

[Just Old Al]

Actually, humans taste closer to pork. We go better with barbecue sauce.

Oh - RIGHT! It's SPHINX that goes with ketchup - Nudge told Al that after the little Library contretemps.

Nudge now has a bet with Tsillah wheter or not Al's insane enough to mention it to Phix.

[Sgt. Howard]

Actually, humans taste closer to pork. We go better with barbecue sauce.

Oh - RIGHT! It's SPHINX that goes with ketchup - Nudge told Al that after the little Library contretemps.

Nudge now has a bet with Tsillah wheter or not Al's insane enough to mention it to Phix.

Nudge knows nothing on that subject... she's simply baiting Al (shock! surprise!). Those in the know say hot mustard is the condiment of choice- Phix won't mention it but Shelly has no such reservations... but then, Shelly also likes horseradish with Sphinx, so she's a little ...odd... that way (horseradish is devoted to rare beef, after all)

And... ketchup on human flesh is not too terribly offensive... but teriyaki is supreme and a good lemon pepper rub is not to be missed.

[FreeFlier]

Actually, humans taste closer to pork. We go better with barbecue sauce.

One does not understand this two-legs obsession with hiding the taste of meat.

Except for <opossum>. One understands hiding that taste.

Oh - RIGHT! It's SPHINX that goes with ketchup - Nudge told Al that after the little Library contretemps.

Nudge now has a bet with Tsillah whether or not Al's insane enough to mention it to Phix.

Nudge knows nothing on that subject... she's simply baiting Al (shock! surprise!). Those in the know say hot mustard is the condiment of choice- Phix won't mention it but Shelly has no such reservations... but then, Shelly also likes horseradish with Sphinx, so she's a little ...odd... that way (horseradish is devoted to rare beef, after all)

And... ketchup on human flesh is not too terribly offensive... but teriyaki is supreme and a good lemon pepper rub is not to be missed.

And meat tenderizer prevents frostbite, right? /obscure Dilbert joke/

--FreeFlier

[DinkyInky]

Actually, humans taste closer to pork. We go better with barbecue sauce.

Oh - RIGHT! It's SPHINX that goes with ketchup - Nudge told Al that after the little Library contretemps.

Nudge now has a bet with Tsillah wheter or not Al's insane enough to mention it to Phix.

Nudge knows nothing on that subject... she's simply baiting Al (shock! surprise!). Those in the know say hot mustard is the condiment of choice- Phix won't mention it but Shelly has no such reservations... but then, Shelly also likes horseradish with Sphinx, so she's a little ...odd... that way (horseradish is devoted to rare beef, after all)

And... ketchup on human flesh is not too terribly offensive... but teriyaki is supreme and a good lemon pepper rub is not to be missed.

Kalbi/bulgoki marinade is supreme Sarge, and Horseradish with pickled beets on Ham(especially during Easter), with my Grandmother's fresh baked bread, and the Potato soup with Polish mushrooms and homemade potato noodles(that Grandpa always burned his mouth on snitching them freshly turned ftom pan into the basket). God I miss them.

Jaki Ja jestem połowa Język polski, i kocham mój Busia fałszujący.

Horseradish with beef...um, nope!

[Just Old Al]

Meanwhile, back at dinner...


After Sterling and her limousine headed down the driveway, the crowd began to disperse.

Greg and Annie, after a round of hugs and handshakes, headed for the portal and the inevitable landing in Oyler’s field. Al wished them a safe landing and a happy evening – it was still late afternoon in Okanogan County, so they had a good long evening to spend together.

Joe and Sarah departed the same way, with a promise demanded and received to come and stay some time – and do more than slip in for a meal! The older couple liked them both – but they never had time to talk.

Glytch, as was his way, wandered off and moments later a VORP sound was heard from that direction. Al smiled – the young genius occupied a very special spot in his heart – a fact both knew and would strenuously avoid ever admitting.

Phix, Neil and Aeternia departed via the portal right after Sterling left – Phix was still apologizing for the problems that Sterling had had. Al cut her off – if wishes were fishes and all that – and entreated her sincerely to keep in touch with him and let him know what if anything could be done.

Jet and Monica, a Mutt-and-Jeff combination that would be funny if it weren’t for the love they shared, were deep in conversation with Daisy and Cinnamon when Al returned from the stables. Sensing a disquiet in the harmony of the Universe, he sidled closer and tuned in.

“…spa days are all well and good – and this was a GREAT one! – but SHOPPING is the way to go. Shopping with Monica is great – anywhere you want to go – POIT and you’re there. Italian designers? Milan? NO PROBLEM! Antiquing in London on Portobello Road – NO PROBLEM! AND NO SHIPPING!”

“Momma, can we can we canwecanwecanwe PLEASE Momma?’ Cinnamon acting as a little girl – hands fluttering, nearly dancing in place - was utterly endearing and almost impossible to resist – for everyone but her Mother.

Daisy smiled, and said “Yes, we can – but not too soon. Momma’s got responsibilities, girl – and you do too – or d’you remember that thing they call college?”

“Awwww, Mommmaaaaaa…” The pleading big colt eyes were in full play here – but Daisy was having none of it – and Jet and Monica were laughing heartily at the game obviously played countless times between the two.

“We’ll talk about it later. Let’s let these poor folk get going, now – the poor things are asleep on their feet.” With a round of hugs and busses Jet and Monica took their leave – and a POIT resounded through the hall now emptier by two.

While Al had walked Greg and Annie to the portal other folk had dispersed. Buck and Katherine had disappeared with their brood – no doubt with arrangements being made for the young ones to be packed off to visit Grandma Lily and Aunt Suzie – that much was obvious.

Rowdy had disappeared off to his own space in the centaur quarters, and as Al approached Daisy Cinnamon did the same, hugging them both as she departed.

Finally, Al and Daisy stood alone in the entryway of their home. Al wandered over and turned off the fire pit, watching the flames fade away from between the black rocks.

Daisy watched him as he went and returned. He was grey under his usual ruddy complexion she observed. Despite his success in organizing the move the toll of the move and the events before had been hard on him - he was not a young man, and while there was no doubt of his stamina it drained him deeply.

The nightmares would be with him tonight. She'd tried to help with those, but they came no matter what. Perhaps she could tire him enough to eliminate them...was worth a shot. Anything that could spare him some time in the hell of those nightmares was worth a try.

“How are you, love?” he asked Daisy. She looked magical to him – immaculate clothing, hair, perfect from the crown of her head to her toenails. As always Al marveled that she wasted her time and love on him, of all people! – but he was not complaining.

No, sir.

Not at all.

“I’m fine. More than fine – today was WONDERFUL – but it’s been a very long day. Make it an early one, you think?”

“I think so. Let’s head to bed.”

“Excuse me – I’m new here. Would the kind gentleman please escort me to my room? I might get lost…” Daisy’s voice turned coquettish, and Al smiled. He turned toward her only to notice that the tie of her wrap dress had come loose, and more than a bit of bright red was peeking out.

“Oh, we mustn’t have that. Do come with me and I will see you safely to your room.” With that, he slipped his arm around her unresisting waist, and she did the same, resting her and on the point of his hip.

With that, they climbed the stairs, each glad at the touch of the other.

[Sgt. Howard]

"Maggie, come have a look at this!" Roger Oyler yelped to his wife.
"What's going on, Roger?... oh my lands... WHAT are those two up to?"
The sight that had the retired State Patrolman confused was that of Greg and Annie, wandering across the alfalfa field, arm in arm, gazing at each other like two high schoolers coming back from a prom... and him in his 'fancy-go-to-meetin's' and her in a dress that probably cost more than their truck! They paused, standing alone, unaware they were being observed... and kissed. Passionately. Greedily. She offered her neck and he went up and down it without reservation. She started twitching, little hops that bled off some of her excitement- she reached down and fondled him where the Oylers could not see, but could well guess. His hand grasped her buttock- she registered the shock and gave a quick yelp. Giggleing and blushing, they both scampered off to the repainted mobile double-wide that they called home.
"Do you believe what you just... " Roger stopped. He was aware that his breathing has stepped up dramatically. He turned to look at his bride of fourty plus years- she too was breathing rather... heavily. There was a light in her eyes he hadn't seen in ... well... been a while, truth be told. He noticed her lips seemed a bit... plump. Flush. She was looking at his lips as well- he licked them nervously. Slowly, her face closed in on his. Their lips touched- it was like a spark. They parted lips momentarily and stared at each other, as if they'd not seen each other for a long, long time. She then snaked an arm up around his neck and started nibbling his lips with hers. He reached up and found the buttons of her blouse- with an old practiced skill, he started slipping one by one each one out of it's hole. Her other hand meanwhile found something to grasp- something that had not seen her attention in quite a while...
An hour and a half later, they were both nude, splayed across their bed sideways, her sleeping, him drowsy but awake. Between where they watched the Howards from their kitchen and where they now repose in the bedroom lay a trail of wardrobe causally dropped wherever it was convenient.

"I need to keep better track of that outhouse," Roger thought to himself as he drifted off to sleep...

[GlytchMeister]

...do the Oylers read this forum, by any chance?

[Sgt. Howard]

...do the Oylers read this forum, by any chance?

GAWD I HOPE NOT!!!

[GlytchMeister]

...do the Oylers read this forum, by any chance?

GAWD I HOPE NOT!!!

...hoo, boy, that could lead to some very awkward discussions with your neighbors...

[lake_wrangler]

...do the Oylers read this forum, by any chance?

GAWD I HOPE NOT!!!

You better hope they don't! Otherwise, they might start charging you royalties for the use of their outhouse...

[Just Old Al]

Darkness…burning…pain.

Someone was screaming, over and over again. Then everything else faded away – except the screaming.

He awoke, bolt upright in bed, Daisy’s arms around him and preventing him from thrashing. Her voice, speaking gently in his ear, brought him back to reality in the dim, shadowed room.

They were in their suite at New Alexander, and the time not yet two. After a satisfying intimate interlude they’d gone to sleep, happily cuddled together in the crisp sheets. They and the blankets were half-torn from the bed now and lay in disarray from his attempts to escape.

“You’re all right…you’re all right” she cooed, with her hand on his forehead, providing the mother touch that all humans respond to calmingly. With that, after a minute or two his pulse stopped hammering in his ears, and he settled, exhausted and sweat covered, back to the bed.

“Al, talk to me. One day this is going to kill you – you need to talk to someone about it.” Daisy said, not matter-of-factly but with the barely concealed anguish of a spouse at her husband’s pain.

“Love, this is what is left after I talked about it. This is why I retired when I finally did – the doctors and I decided it was time for me to hit Civvy Street. It’s only when I get too tired for too long it escapes – and there’s nowt to do about it, meduck. This is the residue…and it will never leave.”

Al rose and donned a pair of his scrubs. “I’ll go sleep in one of the guest rooms – there’s one made up if they followed my plans. I’ll see you-‘

“Get your ass back here, mister. You are not going to go hurt in the corner to “spare” me – it’s too Godsdamned late for that. Get back here.” She got out of bed, freckled skin pale and beautiful in the moonlight, and took his hand, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“I will tell you when to leave – and it is not now. Not ever, understand me? I don’t care what happens, or when, or how. I don’t care how many Godsdamned times you wake up screaming, or thrashing – or why.

You are not allowed to leave me – ever again.”

She let him go for a moment, and he stood listlessly as she tidied the bed. She led him back to bed tucking him in, and getting in, wrapped herself around him in a comforting embrace.

“Sleep, love. I’ll watch out for you.”

[GlytchMeister]

Glytch reappeared at his apartment and immediately got the nagging feeling he had forgotten something. He stood stock still as he sifted through all of his thoughts in an attempt to find what was bugging him, but it was to no avail. It'll come to me eventually. Probably when I need it. He shrugged and headed to the basement and brought the Behemoth out of hibernation. As he waited for the supercomputer to fire up and complete the automatic maintenance programs, he went upstairs to get out of all the fancy clothes he was wearing. Unbuttoning the top button and getting rid of the tie were particularly relieving steps in this process. I grew up in a hoodie and jeans... No matter how often I wear this stuff, I'll never be as comfortable wearing a tie as I would be wearing a familiar, baggy hoodie. With a sigh of relief and a small smile of contentment, Glytch pulled on some well-worn wranglers and an old black hoodie, then headed back downstairs, grabbing his infinite bottle of Vanilla Coke on his way to the Behemoth.
"What shall I entertain myself with until the wee hours of the morning tonight?" Glytch muttered. Skyrim was tempting, but it didn't strike his fancy. Neither did any of his current projects. Tinkering on the Pontiac was right out, he'd le-

*SMACK* "Dammit! I left it up north!" Glytch suffered a bout of momentary instinctive panic before he realized it wasn't that big of a deal. After all, the only reason he was able to forget his car someplace was because he had other ways of getting around. Soon, the flood of panic was quickly replaced by gratefulness... Nobody was around to see him flip out. With a sheepish grin, Glytch returned to his original train of thought.

Games aren't really interesting tonight... Nor are the projects. I'd probably be happy analyzing magic, but I don't have access to that yet... Gonna have to talk to some people about that... Hmm... I suppose I could take a look at the playlist for the party. Yeah... Let's fool around with music... I wonder...
Glytch slowly began to grin as his mind made a series of jumps, taking him back through his memories to a strange man he met during his senior year at college. A man who specialized in making strange instruments.
Glytch checked what time it was in Hawaii (to ensure he wasn't calling at an improper hour) then made the call.
"Uh, hello?"

"Hello, Devan?"

"Yeah?"

"Hi, I'd like to rent an instrument..."

"Oh! Yeah, cool. What's it gonna be, man?"

Glytch chuckled at the Devan's casual mannerisms. "Island life treating you well, huh? I'd like to rent the Lady in the Lake."

"The Lady? How do you know that name?"

"It's been a while, hasn't it?" Glytch laughed. "I never did get to play it, even though I helped you figure out the fluid dynamics equations."

"I'd recognize that laugh anywhere, you madboy! Glytch! How's it goin'?"

"It's going better than it has in years, you old islander."

"That's great! Why didn't you ever come and visit?"

"Well, until recently, things have been going pretty lean, you know? I couldn't afford the tickets."

"Gar... Well, at least things are lookin' up for you now."

"Yeah... How've you been? I imagine your hide is as tan as an old workboot now, huh?"

"What can I say? Life is pretty nice on Kauaii." Devan laughed. "You still remember how to play her? Like you said, you never got the chance."

"Dude, I helped you design her. Of course I can play her."

"You don't know the first thing about music."

"Remember when you caught me freestyling on the rotary violin?" Glytch asked with a smirk.

Devan sighed. "Yeah... I asked you if you had any training on an instrument that had, in fact, never seen the light of day."

"I don't need to know the names of notes, I just have to put noises together that sound nice."

"Alright, fine. When do you need it? Shipping is gonna be worse than the bill I'd normally charge for the rental, you know." It went without saying that Glytch could have the Lady for free.

"Don't worry about shipping. I'll handle that. How about I come pick her up December first?"

"Uh..." Glytch could hear Devan rifling through some papers. "Yeah, I think I'm free then. Sure. And when will I get her back?"

"Probably shortly after the tenth."

"A'ight. Cool. How are you gonna get it there and back?"

"...I have some connections." Glytch deliberately added a conspiratorial tone to his voice.

"Hey, that's cool. I'll be sure to put my tin foil hat on while you're around." Devan chuckled. "See ya soon, ya crazy kid."

"Likewise."

[FreeFlier]

Now how can this go sideways . . .

Let me count the ways . . .

...

--FreeFlier