Wapsi Square Forum

Bwahahahahaaaaaaa!

That's priceless!

Meat tenderizer mallets look absolutely terrifying. I've never had the occasion to wield one in a fight, but I'd be willing to bet a lot of people will run away at the sight of someone swinging a tenderizer at their face.

I've always wanted to make a sledge-hammer sized one and call it The Pulper.

Many years ago I read a statement that in a knife fight, the one that goes to the hospital is the winner . . .

When I thought about it, it rang true.

--FreeFlier

GlytchMeister wrote:Meat tenderizer mallets look absolutely terrifying. I've never had the occasion to wield one in a fight, but I'd be willing to bet a lot of people will run away at the sight of someone swinging a tenderizer at their face.

I've always wanted to make a sledge-hammer sized one and call it The Pulper.

Makes a great nutcracker too...

DinkyInky wrote:

GlytchMeister wrote:Meat tenderizer mallets look absolutely terrifying. I've never had the occasion to wield one in a fight, but I'd be willing to bet a lot of people will run away at the sight of someone swinging a tenderizer at their face.

I've always wanted to make a sledge-hammer sized one and call it The Pulper.

Makes a great nutcracker too...

Pecan, almonds and walnuts, or....?

Jabberwonky wrote:

DinkyInky wrote:

GlytchMeister wrote:Meat tenderizer mallets look absolutely terrifying. I've never had the occasion to wield one in a fight, but I'd be willing to bet a lot of people will run away at the sight of someone swinging a tenderizer at their face.

I've always wanted to make a sledge-hammer sized one and call it The Pulper.

Makes a great nutcracker too...

Pecan, almonds and walnuts, or....?

All of the above, and some that aren't.

GlytchMeister wrote:

Jabberwonky wrote:

DinkyInky wrote:Makes a great nutcracker too...

Pecan, almonds and walnuts, or....?

All of the above, and some that aren't.

"Mr. Crushy"

Dave wrote:"Mr. Crushy"

Love!

At Walmart, there's a hydraulic crusher that we use to compact cardboard into bales. When it gets full, we have to run wires around the bale to keep it all together. To do that, we sometimes have to poke holes through bits of cardboard to make openings for the wire.

Sometimes it's very difficult.

So we have a small sledgehammer mallet thing, and it is called "The Motivator." It's also very useful for getting idle coworkers to get back to work, and it is especially effective at breaking down the tougher display stands so we can throw them away.

GlytchMeister wrote:At Walmart, there's a hydraulic crusher that we use to compact cardboard into bales. When it gets full, we have to run wires around the bale to keep it all together. To do that, we sometimes have to poke holes through bits of cardboard to make openings for the wire.

Sometimes it's very difficult.

So we have a small sledgehammer mallet thing, and it is called "The Motivator." It's also very useful for getting idle coworkers to get back to work, and it is especially effective at breaking down the tougher display stands so we can throw them away.

Sorry, can't help it...

"Glytch SMASH!"

*facepalms*

GlytchMeister wrote:*facepalms*

I did say I was sorry...and that I couldn't help it.

I've used a couple of those bailers before. But not for destroying evidence.

Forty-some years ago, when i was riding a bicycle all over Atlanta, i had a seven-foot chain with quarter-inch links, and a padlock that was basically a solid block of brass and weighed something like two pounds.

I wrapped the chain around my waist twice, and hooked the ends together with the lock (not locked) when i was riding.

One day a jerk in a pickup truck almost ran me down. I pushed away off his door with a foot.

He came screeching to a halt and jumped out of the truck toward me (on one of Atlanta's busiest streets, blocking traffic).

By the time he got close enough to look at me, i was holding the bitter end of the chain in my left hand, a couple feet were hanging down between my hands, and the rest - with the lock now locked on the end) was negligently swinging back and forth. I think it was pretty obvious i was ready to start swinging.

I'm six feet tall, and in those days i weighed right at 200 pounds - and i was in pretty good shape, having spent four months muzzle loading a Pepsi bottling line with up to six hundred bottles per minute, and then stacking the cases of full bottles that came off the other end. And i was wearing a slightly frayed Navy blue working jacket, Navy dungarees and my Navy "boondockers" - work shoes.

I guess he remembered he had somewhere else important to be.

Alkarii wrote:Still, I know how to use my teeth if necessary. (yes, you CAN use teeth to lethal effect, though you risk getting a disease from your target.)

And when you're a kid and you leave one or more of your baby teeth imbedded in the guy, it really freaks them out and their reaction can be priceless.

DinkyInky wrote:

GlytchMeister wrote:*facepalms*

I did say I was sorry...and that I couldn't help it.

My line.

Along with, "Don't get me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry."

DinkyInky wrote:

GlytchMeister wrote:*facepalms*

I did say I was sorry...and that I couldn't help it.

The best part is, that's kind of a nickname for me at work. I'm one of the strongest people in the store, and probably the strongest pound-for-pound.
I also grunt, sometimes loudly, when I'm exerting a lot of effort. Every once in a while, someone will call me Bruce.

GlytchMeister wrote:

DinkyInky wrote:

GlytchMeister wrote:*facepalms*

I did say I was sorry...and that I couldn't help it.

The best part is, that's kind of a nickname for me at work.

They call you "Facepalms"?

GlytchMeister wrote: someone will call me Bruce.

they call you Bruce?