Doing it right...

[Sgt. Howard]

Brian started his day in the usual manner, opening up his auto repair and assessing the needs for the day, what customer works were ready for pick-up and how he could manage to keep the bills paid and the lights on...what he was NOT prepared for was the swarm of newsies who suddenly found him quite interesting. They were asking questions about circumstances at the 'Blood Bath Wedding" where his Daughter finally got married and was astonished to learn that there had been attempts on his life and that apparently the only one unaware was himself. He held them at bay as best he could, telling them that he heard gunfire, was ushered into a storage unit of some sort connected by tunnel to the main building and that after the gunfire ceased he came out and saw a lot of dead bodies. When pressed by one particularly aggressive fellow, he turned to him and said,
"THAT'S ALL I SAW, OK? GET OVER IT!!"
The man would not relent- Brian let him have it.
"FINE!! THERE WERE AT LEAST FOUR CENTAURS WITH THE BIGGEST-ASSED RIFLES YOU EVER SAW DEFENDING US!!! I'M TOLD THAT THERE WERE TWO VAMPIRES INVOLVED AS WELL, BUT I DIDN'T SEE THEM- OH, YEAH- I LEARNED THAT MY DAUGHTER IS A SPHINX!!! PUT THAT IN YOUR HEADLINE!!!" he bellowed at the wretch.
Said wretch dropped the hands holding his notepad and pencil with a sour look on his face... his fellow newsies, chuckling like amused schoolchildren, wrote down every word... that would not see print, but would certainly be gossiped across the trade.
Storming back into his shop, Brian slammed the door behind him and pondered if he should even open today... but somebody was waiting for him there.
"Nice... you slapped his face with the truth and he was too daft to know it," stated the svelte, red-headed twenty-year-old with the baby in her arms.
He looked at her, somewhat confused- "How did you get in?" he asked.
"There are ways... I try not to abuse them, but I think that this is one time where it is necessary. Brian, you never really had a chance to absorb everything... and there was certainly a lot to absorb. You DO need to know, I was deliberately removed from your life... it was determined that only by doing so, Shelly could be the person she needed to be in order to fulfill the prophecy... and to restore the flow of time after 2012. And yes, after 2012 I could have come back ... but how could I possibly explain it? As it is, I'm not sure how to explain... but it is out in the open now, and so here we are,"
"But... who ARE we? To each other, I mean? I cannot, in all honesty, call you... 'Mom'... for one thing, you were not there for most of it. I... I don't even know how to ... think... about this... I cannot accept this as real... and yet, it is real... so... who are we?"
Phix gave a heavy sigh as she looked at her son- he had every right to be upset, confused... angry.
"We... are two people that are family, but have been kept separate for too long... by both circumstances and prejudices. No, I cannot ask you to call me Mother... any more than I can ask you to consider THIS little whelp your sister, " she nodded at the baby she held, "she is far more comfortable considering you her Grandfather in all likelihood... if you would consider it,"
Brian looked at the child... then walked over and studied the little one up close. She was, of course, adorable...
"Is she also a sphinx?" Brian asked.
"Yes... human/sphinx hybrids produce a human with latent sphinx tendencies if a male, but a true sphinx if female... there are not many male sphinxes, they are rare,"
"So, I have this 'latent' blood in me? What does that do?"
"You are probably much stronger and will live longer than most of your species... you might have some abilities, I don't know... hybrid males like yourself are seldom... informed... of their background, so not much is known about your abilities,"
"Then... how do you survive as a species? It sounds like you reproduce every hundred thousand years..."
"Immortality, remember? If we had babies every hundred years, we would over-populate the world in a millennium. WE DON'T DIE!... unless somebody or something kills us..."
"What can kill a sphinx?"
"Usually, another sphinx... but Neil had that ability as an old man... that's how we wound up together,"
"He killed a challenger?"
"He damn near killed me... it's... an odd story to you humans, but it's a lot about who we are..."
"Did Justin have to...?"
"NO! No, they fell in love before she knew what she was... and as I understand it, she pursued him... that does make a difference,"
"I'm not too sure I understand sphinxes..."
"Where have I heard THAT before?" Phix chuckled to herself, "Well, never mind... no, I can't be your Mother... but I am family... can we figure it out from there?"
"My little Shelly Bean is a Sphinx? and Immortal?"
"Yes-"
"But Justin... he's a mortal, right?"
"Justin... was granted immortality in ancient Greece. He's older than Neil. And any children they have are likely to live forever as well,"
"I... have founded a dynasty... it would seem. Peter- is he latent sphinx like I am?"
"Probably... and maybe more as well... we could do some tests... surreptitiously, of course... to determine what might be the case... I suspect we might first want to explore your possibilities just to get some baseline about what we are dealing with,"
Brian looked off into space... " I used to have dreams... about... well, beings encased in clay against their will... about a short woman getting a knife stuck in her head... about a machine, powerful, all-controlling, massive... being crushed into something the size of a golfball... getting thrown into the sun... those weren't dreams, were they?"
"No... all those things happened,"
"How many more shocks have you waiting for me?"

Phix eyed him, appraisingly,- "Let's just see how well you handle what's already been dumped in your lap, shall we?"

[lake_wrangler]

That was quite the moving service. Well done. Very touching. Rowdy's emotional state was quite realistic, as well. That's why I still keep coming back, even though the events have already climaxed, and are now wrapping up. They're still just as interesting and well written.

I do have one small nitpick, however:

“Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear brother here departed: we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ; who shall change our vile body, that it may be like unto his glorious body, according to the mighty working, whereby he is able to subdue all things to himself.”

We're still talking about Patricia Hazelton, right?

[DinkyInky]

That was quite the moving service. Well done. Very touching. Rowdy's emotional state was quite realistic, as well. That's why I still keep coming back, even though the events have already climaxed, and are now wrapping up. They're still just as interesting and well written.

I do have one small nitpick, however:

“Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear brother here departed: we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ; who shall change our vile body, that it may be like unto his glorious body, according to the mighty working, whereby he is able to subdue all things to himself.”

We're still talking about Patricia Hazelton, right?

I've been to a Protestant funeral, and I've heard male pronoun used for female deceased, and resisted the urge to question it...because I was the lone green in a sea of orange.

[lake_wrangler]

The man would not relent- Brian let him have it.
"FINE!! THERE WERE AT LEAST FOUR CENTAURS WITH THE BIGGEST-ASSED RIFLES YOU EVER SAW DEFENDING US!!! I'M TOLD THAT THERE WERE TWO VAMPIRES INVOLVED AS WELL, BUT I DIDN'T SEE THEM- OH, YEAH- I LEARNED THAT MY DAUGHTER IS A SPHINX!!! PUT THAT IN YOUR HEADLINE!!!" he bellowed at the wretch.
Said wretch dropped the hands holding his notepad and pencil with a sour look on his face... his fellow newsies, chuckling like amused schoolchildren, wrote down every word... that would not see print, but would certainly be gossiped across the trade.
Storming back into his shop, Brian slammed the door behind him and pondered if he should even open today... but somebody was waiting for him there.
"Nice... you slapped his face with the truth and he was too daft to know it," stated the svelte, red-headed twenty-year-old with the baby in her arms.

Ha! Taking refuge in audacity!* Nice one!
(And nicely done, too...)

*Beware, TV tropes will ruin your life!

[Just Old Al]

That was quite the moving service. Well done. Very touching. Rowdy's emotional state was quite realistic, as well. That's why I still keep coming back, even though the events have already climaxed, and are now wrapping up. They're still just as interesting and well written.We're still talking about Patricia Hazelton, right?

I've been to a Protestant funeral, and I've heard male pronoun used for female deceased, and resisted the urge to question it...because I was the lone green in a sea of orange.

The items as quoted there came directly from my copy of The Book Of Common Prayer - and the male pronoun is as Dinky mentions used in that situation.

Spiritual brother is often not gender-related in such things, though it can be at the discretion of the particiapant. I've heard it done both ways, and as it was Northern VT I went with the old school patriarchal usage that I remembered from my youth. To me it flowed better.

So, yes, it is incorrect in gender, but correct in usage. So...my rules.

By the way - a small contest. PM me if you can identify the town the description is based on...no prizes awarded but I'm curious if anyone can pick it out. The burial ground (while quite real) is from another small New England town (Troy, NH - the view is of Mount Monadnock), so don't base off that.

No prizes awarded other than an Attaboy! from me.

[lake_wrangler]

That was quite the moving service. Well done. Very touching. Rowdy's emotional state was quite realistic, as well. That's why I still keep coming back, even though the events have already climaxed, and are now wrapping up. They're still just as interesting and well written.We're still talking about Patricia Hazelton, right?

I've been to a Protestant funeral, and I've heard male pronoun used for female deceased, and resisted the urge to question it...because I was the lone green in a sea of orange.

The items as quoted there came directly from my copy of The Book Of Common Prayer - and the male pronoun is as Dinky mentions used in that situation.

Spiritual brother is often not gender-related in such things, though it can be at the discretion of the particiapant. I've heard it done both ways, and as it was Northern VT I went with the old school patriarchal usage that I remembered from my youth. To me it flowed better.

So, yes, it is incorrect in gender, but correct in usage. So...my rules.

Well, you learn something new every day... I guess I'll go to bed less stupid, tonight...

[Warrl]

That was quite the moving service. Well done. Very touching. Rowdy's emotional state was quite realistic, as well. That's why I still keep coming back, even though the events have already climaxed, and are now wrapping up. They're still just as interesting and well written.

I do have one small nitpick, however:

“Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear brother here departed: we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life, through our Lord Jesus Christ; who shall change our vile body, that it may be like unto his glorious body, according to the mighty working, whereby he is able to subdue all things to himself.”

We're still talking about Patricia Hazelton, right?

I've been to a Protestant funeral, and I've heard male pronoun used for female deceased, and resisted the urge to question it...because I was the lone green in a sea of orange.

At a real funeral I wouldn't question it either.

As editor of a story, I'd ask writer to verify it - and if the writer says "Yep, that's correct" I'd say "Okay" and continue on. Which is actually a step down from how I'd react to a similar apparent-error outside of a ceremony: normally I'd propose a change. (But then if the writer rejects the proposed change I say "Okay" and continue on.)

Since I volunteered to copy-edit this story, I was going to ask the writer to verify.

The man would not relent- Brian let him have it.
"FINE!! THERE WERE AT LEAST FOUR CENTAURS WITH THE BIGGEST-ASSED RIFLES YOU EVER SAW DEFENDING US!!! I'M TOLD THAT THERE WERE TWO VAMPIRES INVOLVED AS WELL, BUT I DIDN'T SEE THEM- OH, YEAH- I LEARNED THAT MY DAUGHTER IS A SPHINX!!! PUT THAT IN YOUR HEADLINE!!!" he bellowed at the wretch.
Said wretch dropped the hands holding his notepad and pencil with a sour look on his face... his fellow newsies, chuckling like amused schoolchildren, wrote down every word... that would not see print, but would certainly be gossiped across the trade.
Storming back into his shop, Brian slammed the door behind him and pondered if he should even open today... but somebody was waiting for him there.
"Nice... you slapped his face with the truth and he was too daft to know it," stated the svelte, red-headed twenty-year-old with the baby in her arms.

Ha! Taking refuge in audacity!* Nice one!
(And nicely done, too...)

*Beware, TV tropes will ruin your life!

Also one of the few occasions where I approve of multiple exclamation marks. (It doesn't hurt that there is a clear pattern to their multiplicity; it looks deliberate and thought-out. In creative arts you can get away with quite a lot if it looks like you intended it to be that way.)

[lake_wrangler]

Since I volunteered to copy-edit this story, I was going to ask the writer to verify.

You're welcome. That'll be $50...

[jwhouk]

---

Code: Select all

INCIDENT REPORT NUMBER 978-151219-0103
LOCATION: A-Mill Lofts Grand Hall, 315 Main Street SE, Minneapolis, MN
DATE: 19 December 2015
TIME: 2015 hours CST (GMT -6)
AGENT REPORTING: J.Billens, Special Agent, Midwest Bureau
TYPE OF INCIDENT: Bystander Death

Billens sighed as he checked that box. He hated writing these reports.

Code: Select all

NAME OF PRINCIPAL PERSON INVOLVED: Patricia Hazelton, Box 33, Hyde Park, Vermont
DESCRIPTION OF INCIDENT: On above date at stated time, I, Agent Billens, was on duty as part of a special assignment detail at stated location. While monitoring the facility for possible hostile individuals, I heard what appeared to be arms fire, coming from the general direction of an entry on the Northwest corner of the building. 
I witnessed Miss Hazelton (genus Centaur Sapiens, paddock name "Dusky") get hit with what was later determined to be a 7.62 slug. 

I witnessed the shooter attempting to reload his weapon. Utilizing the supplied service revolver, I took aim and eliminated the threat posed by said shooter. 

Autopsy result on Ms. Hazelton (see file #151219-103-supplement) found that the slug entered her from below the left shoulder, exiting through just below the left ribcage. The size of ammunition resulted in severe damage to most vital organs; examiner estimated death occurred within one to three minutes. Additional gunshots were found in examination, but these appeared to be part of the exchange of fire that occurred afterward. 

Autopsy result on the shooter was pending, as his remains were being collected from burnt pieces as result of use of further force by a private security detail working at the behest of the Agency.

Billens sighed as he finished the report. He couldn't add, of course, the part about how the death of the centaur had nearly broken one of the Alexanders.
Nor with how he was going to have to deal with notifying her parents.

(I may need to edit, didn't have time to look at previous...)

[jwhouk]

---

The last body was finally carted off the day before Christmas Eve. The charred remains, where John's anger had gotten the best of him, were surprisingly easy to clean, despite the certainty of its composition.

That was when Jacob's crew went to work. The windows were the first to be repaired, thanks to his skilled "flight team" that fitted new glazed panels in where the older factory windows had been. The recent repairs to the roof had held, for the most part – thankfully. The hole made by the armored truck had been relatively easy to repair as well.


The interior would be simple to clean up and replace. It was the exterior, however, that would be difficult. In particular was the main parking lot across the street – which happened to be owned by General Mills. They had been livid at the amount of destruction at first, threatening to completely move their research operations out of the city. A spokesperson, however, had announced that morning that the Federal Bureau of Investigation had agreed to assist in the repair of the lot.

Of course, that meant that Jacob was going to have to get his dragomorphs to work. And they weren't particularly fond of tar and macadam.

He'd given Brandi and Bud the estimate of having the place up and running by New Year's; the week after at the latest. The parking lot… would take a bit longer.

He beat the one estimate by a day.

[jwhouk]

---
"And the best Christmas present? JK Interiors just called – the townhouse will be complete by spring!" This brought a cheer from the members of Prince Foxglove's family as they sat down over breakfast.

"It's that one we saw, down by Lake Calhoun, right?" Calista asked.

"The same," he told his daughter.

"That was the one owned by the NBA player, right?" Cavin asked.

"Yes – and we insisted that all the cabinets and closets built for someone seven feet tall be 'reduced' to someone of a shorter stature," Alicia Foxglove added.

They happily munched on the French Millipede sticks – which Alicia had added extra syrup to the mix.

[lake_wrangler]

---

Code: Select all

INCIDENT REPORT NUMBER 978-151219-0103
LOCATION: A-Mill Lofts Grand Hall, 315 Main Street SE, Minneapolis, MN
DATE: 19 December 2015
TIME: 2015 hours CST (GMT -6)
AGENT REPORTING: J.Billens, Special Agent, Midwest Bureau
TYPE OF INCIDENT: Bystander Death

Billens sighed as he checked that box. He hated writing these reports.

Code: Select all

NAME OF PRINCIPAL PERSON INVOLVED: Patricia Hazelton, Box 33, Town Highway 33, Bennington, Vermont
DESCRIPTION OF INCIDENT: On above date at stated time, I, Agent Billens, was on duty as part of a special assignment detail at stated location. While monitoring the facility for possible hostile individuals, I heard what appeared to be arms fire, coming from the general direction of an entry on the Northwest corner of the building. 
I witnessed Miss Hazelton (genus Centaur Sapiens, paddock name "Dusky") get hit with what was later determined to be a 7.62 slug. 
I witnessed the shooter attempting to reload his weapon. Utilizing the supplied service revolver, I took aim and eliminated the threat posed by said shooter. 
Autopsy result on Ms. Hazelton (see file #151219-103-supplement) found that the slug entered her from the left shoulder, ricocheted through her torso and ribcage, and exited at her right hip. The size of ammunition resulted in severe damage to most vital organs; examiner estimated death occurred within one to three minutes. Additional gunshots were found in examination, but these appeared to be part of the exchange of fire that occurred afterward. 
Autopsy result on the shooter was pending, as his remains were being collected from burnt pieces as result of use of further force by a private security detail working at the behest of the Agency.

Billens sighed as he finished the report. He couldn't add, of course, the part about how the death of the centaur had nearly broken one of the Alexanders.
Nor with how he was going to have to deal with notifying her parents.

(I may need to edit, didn't have time to look at previous...)

The only thing I personally see that would need to be corrected is the point of exit of the bullet: it was established that it hit Rowdy in the chest/torso area, once it exited Dusky. So it couldn't have exited at her right hip.

[Just Old Al]

---
They happily munched on the French Millipede sticks – which Alicia had added extra syrup to the mix.

Memo to Al: If the Foxgloves invite you over to dinner check the menu...

[DinkyInky]

---
They happily munched on the French Millipede sticks – which Alicia had added extra syrup to the mix.

Memo to Al: If the Foxgloves invite you over to dinner check the menu...

I am surprised the French managed to make better ones.

They've been a huge contributing factor to health issues among the fae, dontchaknow.

Al, Emerauld will make sure to leave her seedcake recipes....they go well with tea.

[Dave]

---
They happily munched on the French Millipede sticks – which Alicia had added extra syrup to the mix.

Memo to Al: If the Foxgloves invite you over to dinner check the menu...

I am surprised the French managed to make better ones.

They've been a huge contributing factor to health issues among the fae, dontchaknow

Millipedosis of the coronary arteries, right?

Preparation is everything.

The French millipedes are raised and fattened on a very healthy diet... whole grains, lentils, and fresh vegetables. The French adopted this method from their traditional way of raising escargot... the snails once collected must be fed a pure diet of e.g. cornmeal for several days to purge them of any toxins they may have absorbed from food they've eaten "in the wild". Millipedes, being pretty much omnivorous, benefit from the same sort of thorough "clean-out". When French millipede sticks are fried, only olive and grape-seed oils are used... lots of healthy monounsaturated fatty acids.

Commercial American millipede sticks haven't been raised or prepared so well... millipedes fattened in feedpens on cheap food with a lot of animal meat and fatty scraps, then cooked in hydrogenated corn and palm oil. Their trans-fat contents has been scary.

I won't say that the French millipede sticks are a health food... dry-roasting would be better than deep frying... but they aren't as blatantly unhealthy as the junk-food American version.

[DinkyInky]

Memo to Al: If the Foxgloves invite you over to dinner check the menu...

I am surprised the French managed to make better ones.

They've been a huge contributing factor to health issues among the fae, dontchaknow

Millipedosis of the coronary arteries, right?

Preparation is everything.

The French millipedes are raised and fattened on a very healthy diet... whole grains, lentils, and fresh vegetables. The French adopted this method from their traditional way of raising escargot... the snails once collected must be fed a pure diet of e.g. cornmeal for several days to purge them of any toxins they may have absorbed from food they've eaten "in the wild". Millipedes, being pretty much omnivorous, benefit from the same sort of thorough "clean-out". When French millipede sticks are fried, only olive and grape-seed oils are used... lots of healthy monounsaturated fatty acids.

Commercial American millipede sticks haven't been raised or prepared so well... millipedes fattened in feedpens on cheap food with a lot of animal meat and fatty scraps, then cooked in hydrogenated corn and palm oil. Their trans-fat contents has been scary.

I won't say that the French millipede sticks are a health food... dry-roasting would be better than deep frying... but they aren't as blatantly unhealthy as the junk-food American version.

I'd prefer to not have them "fattened up".
Just look at what they do to waterfowl...or better yet, don't.
One must also consider those with Gluten and Legume allergies.

Feeding them outside of natural foraging, no matter how 'healthy' gives them a new sort of toxin...and those unaware can get ill from preparations of the aforementioned 'natural' fed millipedes.

Once more, with feeling: If they eat meat, they are usually centipedes, not millipedes, and need to be labeled as such. Though anyone mistaking the two must be starving, ignorant, or under a strong compulsatory spell.

[Dave]

Once more, with feeling: If they eat meat, they are usually centipedes, not millipedes,

That's just what the millipedes want you to think... and most people won't realize the truth until the millipede apocalypse begins.

[DinkyInky]

Once more, with feeling: If they eat meat, they are usually centipedes, not millipedes,

That's just what the millipedes want you to think... and most people won't realize the truth until the millipede apocalypse begins.

Great, zombie bugs...

Oh Shneekey! Need a Monk assist!

Oh, and this time, ignore the mage, no banana pulls.

[ShneekeyTheLost]

Once more, with feeling: If they eat meat, they are usually centipedes, not millipedes,

That's just what the millipedes want you to think... and most people won't realize the truth until the millipede apocalypse begins.

Great, zombie bugs...

Oh Shneekey! Need a Monk assist!

Oh, and this time, ignore the mage, no banana pulls.

Both centipedes and millipedes are scavengers, although centipedes feed on carrion and millipedes on decaying plant matter.

Dinky... I have only one word to say to you: Oops.

[DinkyInky]

That's just what the millipedes want you to think... and most people won't realize the truth until the millipede apocalypse begins.

Great, zombie bugs...

Oh Shneekey! Need a Monk assist!

Oh, and this time, ignore the mage, no banana pulls.

Both centipedes and millipedes are scavengers, although centipedes feed on carrion and millipedes on decaying plant matter.

Dinky... I have only one word to say to you: Oops.

*FD*
I'll remember that the next time you need a CR from Fear.