Stainless Steel Angel

[GlytchMeister]

And when she starts it, someone needs to say "It's ALIVE!!!!"

And someone else needs to say "Congratulations, Dr. Frankenstein."

I TOTALLY DID THAT.

After replacing... Let's see... Radiator/fan assembly, the top strut that goes over the radiator, air filter assembly, lights, bumper, bending a lot of metal back into place, and glueing the ECM back together.

I tried to start it with a different ECM, but it didn't work. It started, ran for three seconds, then turned itself off.

Cue soul-crushing moment of "oh, shit, what else is wrong?"

I then put the old, but repaired ECM back in, and it started right up and ran like a dream.

I actually popped out of the car and shouted, at the top of my lungs, "EEET'S ALIEEEVE! EEET'S ALIEEEVE! HAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA!"

[Just Old Al]

"With that, Al and Ari, pardon Wing, left the office. Smokey and John looked up when they heard the door clack open, and they both looked at Al. Al flashed a thumbs-up at which point Smokey turned to John and said loudly “PAY UP!”."

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!!!

That's funny when Al is bitching her out for using claws to remove O-Rings? Geeze...

I keep forgetting.

"Welcome to the world of the paranormal, Glytch. Normal is weird."

[Warrl]

Turning the key on a rebuild or a major renovation/repair for the first time is better than sex. And no, it is not the quality of sex that is lacking - it's a completely different generative force. There is a reason I have a machine shop and all the repair toys - and that is because I can't NOT have them.

There is nothing like it - and I am DAMN sure that anyone who's created a machine - or rebuilt one - or done things like that will agree.

Al, you realize that your character has for years earned a substantial part of his living from people who would rather pay him than fix the blasted machine themselves?

[Just Old Al]

Al, you realize that your character has for years earned a substantial part of his living from people who would rather pay him than fix the blasted machine themselves?

More to their detriment - and not just the character. Made many a happy buck over the years fixing things people can't figure out or don't want to.

Whatever it may be - there is a definite joy to it.

[GlytchMeister]

"With that, Al and Ari, pardon Wing, left the office. Smokey and John looked up when they heard the door clack open, and they both looked at Al. Al flashed a thumbs-up at which point Smokey turned to John and said loudly “PAY UP!”."

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!!!

That's funny when Al is bitching her out for using claws to remove O-Rings? Geeze...

I keep forgetting.

"Welcome to the world of the paranormal, Glytch. Normal is weird."

I think, at this point, if I were actually to be introduced to a paranormal secured civilization hiding amongst humanity, I'd have a pretty jaded attitude about it.

"Oh, so mythological creatures and superbeings and such are a thing? Ok. *shrug* Been there, done that. Haven't gotten a tshirt yet, still working on that."

[Warrl]

Al, you realize that your character has for years earned a substantial part of his living from people who would rather pay him than fix the blasted machine themselves?

More to their detriment - and not just the character. Made many a happy buck over the years fixing things people can't figure out or don't want to.

Whatever it may be - there is a definite joy to it.

Yeah, I assumed that this aspect of the character is based heavily on you - but not knowing the details of your employment history, I didn't want to assume that you did not spend most of your career working for an older version of you. - a guy who would love to do it himself but had more such work to do than time to do it.

I've had the experience of fixing a complex machine and getting it working right. And you can count me among those who would rather pay someone else to do it.

(Not to mention it will usually get done faster & better if I hand it off to someone else. Occasionally cheaper as well, after factoring in the cost of what I would mess up through ignorance or inexperience.)

[DinkyInky]

I've had the experience of fixing a complex machine and getting it working right. And you can count me among those who would rather pay someone else to do it.

(Not to mention it will usually get done faster & better if I hand it off to someone else. Occasionally cheaper as well, after factoring in the cost of what I would mess up through ignorance or inexperience.)

That you acknowledge it in such a manner makes you infinitely wiser than quite a few delightful individuals I've had rhe misfortune to meet over the years. Mechanics respect that, and appreciate it.

Screaming that their breakdown is the parts place fault because they used a 13-bolt pan gasket instead of the seventeen bolt, didn't use the Permatex properly, stuck the "extra" bolts in the glove box, and wondered why the fluid poured out as they drove to someplace we really don't care about is not going to endear you to us customers, nor the abused and suffering clerks. It is in fact going to get me to hijack someone's smartphone and play you a meaningful tune that says exactly what everyone is thinking.

Same song is played if you insist on hand cranked lugnuts and refuse to check them in 50 miles after new tires.

Ditto if you blame the guy you just hit that you're pissed you're going to have to pay some idiot to fix the car now because they stopped at the red light you did not see because you were busy putting on your fake lashes while talking to your bff(whatever the heck that means) on the phone so you could go play floozy at the club...oh waaah! Yer also gonna have to find some retard to tow it to the garage and find a ride. Good luck finding a tow after this guy calls in the wreck.

Loosening many buttons won't work with officer Galahad for...reasons.

Double so because the guy you hit is an auto mechanic for the place you bought your car, and get it serviced at, and now nobody in the adjoining three counties will touch it. Illinois ain't looking good for you either.

I've actually done the first one in an ADVANCED Auto. Wished I had been there to do so for the third after video recording the whole thing for the tube of you's, two I've seen, and heard, and experienced far too many times...and is one reason I won't rotate tires for anyone not family ever again.

[Dave]

It is in fact going to get me to hijack someone's smartphone and play you a meaningful tune that says exactly what everyone is thinking.

Ow. Oww. OWW!!!!

DinkyInky, that link really should come with a warning. "Disable all mirror neurons and disengage empathy gears before viewing!"

I have to wonder how many of those Darwin Award candidates actually did earn the reward. Some of those impacts could have killed, or at the very least resulted in severe brain damage.

[GlytchMeister]

It is in fact going to get me to hijack someone's smartphone and play you a meaningful tune that says exactly what everyone is thinking.

Ow. Oww. OWW!!!!

DinkyInky, that link really should come with a warning. "Disable all mirror neurons and disengage empathy gears before viewing!"

I have to wonder how many of those Darwin Award candidates actually did earn the reward. Some of those impacts could have killed, or at the very least resulted in severe brain damage.

You mean you don't have "AFV_mode.exe" pre-installed on your brain? Jeeze... Going into regedit just to turn off the mirror neurons and empathy gearbox must be a hassle.

[Warrl]

Heck, I've even been in a situation once where I knew exactly what needed done and how to do it...

... and realized it would be cheaper to pay an established repair shop than to acquire the parts and, most critically, *tools* to do it myself.

[GlytchMeister]

Heck, I've even been in a situation once where I knew exactly what needed done and how to do it...

... and realized it would be cheaper to pay an established repair shop than to acquire the parts and, most critically, *tools* to do it myself.

Oh, yeah... Tools are friggin expensive, man. That's what hillbilly/redneck/blue collar friends are for!

(I am allowed to call them that by express permission provided by a man with a man-bib beard who has frequently gone to work wearing nothing but boots and denim overalls, and can drink moonshine like water)

Seriously, though, before the FrankenStratus, there was Peeves the Truck, which was haunted by a poltergeist. It would flat-out refuse to start for no good reason at all. Then one of my redneck friends threw a wrench at the damn thing and it started right up. Not long after, the engine disintegrated while I was driving to work (there were chunks... CHUNKS of metal in the oil).

Anyway. Every time I had to get that piece of shit truck to behave, I was using tools, expertise, and muscle borrowed from redneck friends. They really come in handy.

[jwhouk]

---

The lights in the garage came on with a click and buzz. The solitary figure walked past a handful of vehicles with covers on them, sighing as he did.

He had heard through the grapevine that the boys at Building 2 were nearing completion of the DeLorean that had been stowed away in the tunnel under the plant.

Since he'd first heard of the project to build - his nephew's doing, he knew - he realized that at some point he'd have to face his own demons.

It was there, in the back of the shop, covered in a tarp; like his father and his brother, they collected cars like others collect stamps or baseball cards.

His was not as near extensive as his nephew's, of course - but he did have a dozen beauties that he liked to toy with from time to time.

Except this one.

He pulled the tarp off the back of the vehicle, exposing the taillights. He had the key in hand from the lockbox when he had entered the shop.

Unlocking the rear hatch, he opened it up to reveal the engine bay. The familiar imprint of a centaur on the camshaft cover greeted him. He did some preparatory work, since this thing had been sitting for some time.

His nephew didn't know about this car. Nor did Daisy, nor anyone else.

Satisfied, he closed the hatch and pulled the tarp off the vehicle. With a click, the gull-wing doors rose silently, and Calvin eased himself into the front seat.

He looked around as he settled himself into the cockpit. The little "Capacitor" was still sticking out of the cigarette lighter. Hopefully that wouldn't make starting this beast difficult.

He put the key in, and - after a silent prayer - turned the engine over.

The roaring THA-THOOOOM! of the turbo-charged engine echoed through the garage. He played with the gas for a bit, smiling.

He didn't want to tell his nephew about this - because of the promise he made to his brother.

But - old Leah here was going to have to come to light of day shortly, if he was honest...

[jwhouk]

(I should point out: Calvin is unmarried. His wife died two years into his only marriage.)

[Sgt. Howard]

"With that, Al and Ari, pardon Wing, left the office. Smokey and John looked up when they heard the door clack open, and they both looked at Al. Al flashed a thumbs-up at which point Smokey turned to John and said loudly “PAY UP!”."

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!!!!

That's funny when Al is bitching her out for using claws to remove O-Rings? Geeze...

I keep forgetting.

"Welcome to the world of the paranormal, Glytch. Normal is weird."

If I had access to talons to do that sort of work... I assure you the dental pick would never leave the toolbox... especially if the thing flicked out with a jaw harp 'TWANG!!!"

[Dave]

If I had access to talons to do that sort of work... I assure you the dental pick would never leave the toolbox... especially if the thing flicked out with a jaw harp 'TWANG!!!"

I've gotta imagine that one could come up with some sort of anti-participate coating for talons... a brush-on polymer like a toughened Teflon that one could apply each morning. Sort of a functional high-end nail polish. Better paranormal living through chemistry.

[Sgt. Howard]

If I had access to talons to do that sort of work... I assure you the dental pick would never leave the toolbox... especially if the thing flicked out with a jaw harp 'TWANG!!!"

I've gotta imagine that one could come up with some sort of anti-participate coating for talons... a brush-on polymer like a toughened Teflon that one could apply each morning. Sort of a functional high-end nail polish. Better paranormal living through chemistry.

Naw... ya juss' blows out th' whatevers once y' fetch th' 'O' ring out an' everthin's juss fahn... but doan' go lettin' theyt agytaited limey sees it, he gets ...partickoolar...bout's sech thin's...

[Just Old Al]

Naw... ya juss' blows out th' whatevers once y' fetch th' 'O' ring out an' everthin's juss fahn... but doan' go lettin' theyt agytaited limey sees it, he gets ...partickoolar...bout's sech thin's...

And here folks you have a classic example of Genuine Frontier Gibberish....you should be proud that your children were able to hear this!



Oh, lordy.

[GlytchMeister]

Naw... ya juss' blows out th' whatevers once y' fetch th' 'O' ring out an' everthin's juss fahn... but doan' go lettin' theyt agytaited limey sees it, he gets ...partickoolar...bout's sech thin's...

And here folks you have a classic example of Genuine Frontier Gibberish....you should be proud that your children were able to hear this!



Oh, lordy.

Aless ykin teyall wuhissayin.

At least you can tell what he's saying.

I used to live in Tennessee, and I used to have family in Georgia. I'm better at translating "Southern" than most northerners... However... There are still some people out there that are completely unintelligible to all but their own cousins. Who may or may not be their girlfriends too.

[Just Old Al]

I used to live in Tennessee, and I used to have family in Georgia. I'm better at translating "Southern" than most northerners... However... There are still some people out there that are completely unintelligible to all but their own cousins. Who may or may not be their girlfriends too.

Never had a problem here in the States - normally if you think of them as having a mouthful of marbles you can figure it out.

Yorkshire and the Black Country, though....utterly incomprehensible because of the use of local vernacular that may or may not date back a few hundred years - and refer to an event or individual unknown elsewhere in reality.

[Just Old Al]

Heck, I've even been in a situation once where I knew exactly what needed done and how to do it...

... and realized it would be cheaper to pay an established repair shop than to acquire the parts and, most critically, *tools* to do it myself.

I've done it on occasion as well - and my suppliers know me well. When it comes to dealing with specialist items paying the guy with the 50K machine to do it is often the best recourse.

However, there have been hundreds of times where I've stuck my stubborn in gear and gone for it. When you have a brake bellcrank that hasn't been manufactured for 40 years that's worn egg-shaped and it's fix it or no brakes...you dive in. Bored it on the lathe, turned a bronze bushing for it, then shrunk-fit the bushing and reamed it to size. Worked like it was brand new - which in a way it was.

Building up a shaft with welding then re-grinding and doing the same for the cast steel housing (for an ancient Hobart grinder) and seeing it run smoothly when done...is just a trip. Power over your environment - and a good power, to generate order from chaos.