Relaxing Holiday Break 2016-01-04

[Alkarii]

Well, there is that approach. Stained can say you've been using them a lot,or maybe very recently, but it can also say you're lazy. Clean knives mean you either don't use them much, or maybe you always take the time to clean up after yourself.

[GlytchMeister]

Well, I think we all know Dinky uses her knives (a lot probably) and is not lazy (at all unless it is very justified and warranted).

[DinkyInky]

I doubt any of her knives are stained. She seems like the sort of person who is very particular when it comes to caring for her weapons.
Uh. I mean, her kitchen implements of optional destruction.

Yes. I'm really sad that my ex took my ceramic blades, hones, and oil and soap stones. Those were freaking expensive. I need new oil and soap stones soon...

Well, there is that approach. Stained can say you've been using them a lot,or maybe very recently, but it can also say you're lazy. Clean knives mean you either don't use them much, or maybe you always take the time to clean up after yourself.

Um, no. Never. My swords, knives, even that cleaver, are washed, dried, and oiled. Any jerk that touches my sharps without at least attempting to wipe them clean after doing so never gets to see them again. My apron is always messy though.

Cutting and tenderizing meats get blood and grease on them, two things that tend to begin oxidation/pitting and I dislike pitting on my live steel. Worst of all are fingerprints oils.

[GlytchMeister]

Called it.

[DinkyInky]

Called it.

[Just Old Al]

Stained can say you've been using them a lot,or maybe very recently, but it can also say you're lazy. Clean knives mean you either don't use them much, or maybe you always take the time to clean up after yourself.

The only reason to leave stains on your knives is to intimidate an enemy. My kitchern tools are not used at that level, so they get taken care of much like DInky's.

[Alkarii]

Yeah, as far as kitchen cutlery goes, while they can be used as weapons, I prefer blades designed to be weapons. Don't own any, though, so my arsenal is limited to a hatchet and my M9.

I'm horribly underprepared for a zombie apocalypse or alien invasion. For the first one, just go to the nearest Home Depot (or similar store), because you can fortify those pretty well.

For the second, I can only think of two things at the moment:

1. Ask if they are legal aliens
2. State that, if I'm gonna be probed, they damn well better get me dinner and really, really drunk first.

Oh, and a safeword.

[DinkyInky]

Yeah, as far as kitchen cutlery goes, while they can be used as weapons, I prefer blades designed to be weapons. Don't own any, though, so my arsenal is limited to a hatchet and my M9.

I'm horribly underprepared for a zombie apocalypse or alien invasion. For the first one, just go to the nearest Home Depot (or similar store), because you can fortify those pretty well.

For the second, I can only think of two things at the moment:

1. Ask if they are legal aliens
2. State that, if I'm gonna be probed, they damn well better get me dinner and really, really drunk first.

Oh, and a safeword.

If a kitchen knife can cut through cartilage and bone like it's butter, then it's a weapon.

Ninety percent of my kitchen cutlery that has an edge can do so. The ten percent that cannot needs me to sharpen it(and I have not found a suitable set of oul and soapstones).

[Jabberwonky]

If a kitchen knife can cut through cartilage and bone like it's butter, then it's a weapon.

A meat tenderizer can do the same thing...just not as neatly.

[Alkarii]

If it weren't for the fact that they take too long to start in an emergency, I'd say chainsaws are best. Though really messy.

So instead, when it comes to close quarters, the kukri is king. ("Hail to the King, baby!")

Though a Fairbairn will do exceptionally well, since you don't swing it.

Still, I know how to use my teeth if necessary. (yes, you CAN use teeth to lethal effect, though you risk getting a disease from your target.)

[GlytchMeister]

Rebar and leather vambraces are extraordinarily effective in close-quarters. "Brass" (actually steel) knuckles are also pretty good, but they don't give the same kind of defensive capabilities, and if not handled or made right, they ruin your punch posture, making it very likely you'll shatter your own bones or dislocate your own fingers.
One guy tried using a couple metal gauntlets. They were very noisy, they squeaked all the time and the component plates clanged somethin' awful against each other. They were freezing in the winter, too, and he found out the hard way that it is an incredibly bad idea to wipe his runny nose with a metal gauntlet like he would with a normal glove. Getting your tongue stuck is one thing. Getting your nose frozen to a platemail gauntlet is horrid. His eyes watered for a good five minutes.

As you can imagine, those gauntlets ended up gathering dust.

[FreeFlier]

If a kitchen knife can cut through cartilage and bone like it's butter, then it's a weapon.

A meat tenderizer can do the same thing...just not as neatly.

A weapon is a tool for the application of lethal and sublethal force.

--FreeFlier

[jwhouk]

I've always been partial to my hands, personally.

[DinkyInky]

If a kitchen knife can cut through cartilage and bone like it's butter, then it's a weapon.

A meat tenderizer can do the same thing...just not as neatly.

A weapon is a tool for the application of lethal and sublethal force.

--FreeFlier

Yeah, those chicken leg quarters never had a chance. The 'chops...got chopped...my son loves pork tenderettes...will eat as many as he can grab...

Heaven forbid you catch me in the kitchen with a frozen raw beef roast and a phone call of "company in two hours".

Bulgogi is something I prefer taking time on.

[Sgt. Howard]

If it weren't for the fact that they take too long to start in an emergency, I'd say chainsaws are best. Though really messy.

So instead, when it comes to close quarters, the kukri is king. ("Hail to the King, baby!")

Though a Fairbairn will do exceptionally well, since you don't swing it.

Still, I know how to use my teeth if necessary. (yes, you CAN use teeth to lethal effect, though you risk getting a disease from your target.)

... and, pray tell, where did you train on a Fairbairn? Kukris do well Eastern style as well as Western...

[Alkarii]

Never been able to get either, actually. For a kukri, it seems better designed for swinging (and I read in a book once that those could remove limbs), while the Fairbairn is better for going between ribs and/or putting holes in organs, via stabbing.

The kukri is heavier, which gives it more momentum. But I have a smaller kitchen, so I'd have to do vertical swings.

Also, I never trained to fight with a knife aside from getting one out of someone's hand.

Wow... It's kinda taken an odd turn here, hasn't it?

[Sgt. Howard]

Never been able to get either, actually. For a kukri, it seems better designed for swinging (and I read in a book once that those could remove limbs), while the Fairbairn is better for going between ribs and/or putting holes in organs, via stabbing.

The kukri is heavier, which gives it more momentum. But I have a smaller kitchen, so I'd have to do vertical swings.

Also, I never trained to fight with a knife aside from getting one out of someone's hand.

Wow... It's kinda taken an odd turn here, hasn't it?

Among some of us, knife encounters can be a bit of a ... touchy... subject. I've never lost a knife fight. I still have numerous scars. Part of my training was East Side San Jose, another part was Ft. Benning GA. The Fairbairn-Sykes is a nasty bit of work with a lovely balance, patterned after a medieval dirk. Very up close and personal, it can slash coming and going as well as puncture. Not much blade for an Eastern approach, but light enough that you can maneuver it better than most. It's primary advantages are;
1) It's light and small- you can store several on your body without strain.
2) It is long enough to open a lung from behind or a diaphragm from the front or both carotids from just about anywhere- the sap doesn't get a chance to yell as he dies.
3) It throws like nobody's business- and mounted on a long pole, it can be devastating.
4) The metallurgy is superb- the edges are rock hard while the spine is spring tempered (Assuming you get a real issue and not a clone).

However- it is to be said- those of us who's education is paid for in blood do look in wonder at anyone who would walk into such an encounter willingly...

[AnotherFairportfan]

The moral, kids, is never get into a fight in a kitchen that isn't yours.

And to always know your kitchen like the back of your hand. A kitchen makes a good fortress if it's set up right.

Darn skippy!

in Far to the North (which i HEARTILY recommend if you're not reading it already) i had cause to remark that a large, heavy metal ladle {in the vicinity of three feet long} (and the BIG cauldron of stew simmering in the fireplace) might well be a useful implement when bandits enter your kitchen...

[TazManiac]

Aw man, I am hearing my Father Loud and Clear right now;

That's Not a TOY, it's a TOOL!

[Jabberwonky]

I'ma just leave this here...