Man watching porn on phone crashes car, dies

[AnotherFairportfan]

Detroit man crashes car, dies while watching porn on phone

Unfortunately setting a new record for distracted driving, a 58-year-old Detroit man crashed his car and died this weekend while allegedly watching porn on his smartphone. Taking place around 3:30 a.m. on Sunday while driving on I-75 in Detroit, Michigan, the man rolled his 1996 Toyota on the highway and was ejected from the sunroof of the vehicle. Detailed by CBS News, police indicated that the man was watching pornography on his mobile device at the time of the crash.

When arriving at the accident scene, police discovered that the man was not wearing any pants. The authorities believe that he was thrown from the vehicle due to not wearing a seatbelt. Police also believe the man wasn't able to control the vehicle properly since both hands weren't on the steering wheel at the time of the crash. Fortunately, no other vehicles were involved in the accident.

{full story}
 
Hmmm.  It only takes one hand to hold a phone.  

Why wasn't he holding the wheel with his other hand ?

[lake_wrangler]

"Dear Sir: your application for a Darwin Award has been received, processed, approved, and posthumously awarded."

[lake_wrangler]

Still from the same article:

Speaking about the odd situation, Michigan State Police Lt. Mike Shaw said “We see people putting on makeup, we see people doing different things as far as hygiene, as far as reading books, it’s almost to the fact there’s so much technology out there a lot of people are more paying attention to what they’re doing other than driving their cars.”

I remember, many years ago, the Toronto Star had an article about the various things people do while driving, which included eating a bowl of cereal, and one lady who left her office, wearing blouse, skirt and high heels, and arriving at her second job, wearing jeans, t-shirt, and some more comfortable shoes...

[DinkyInky]

 
Hmmm.  It only takes one hand to hold a phone.  

Why wasn't he holding the wheel with his other hand ?

Which is even more ridiculous, as most of your smartphones these days have bundles with a dash holster so it can be turned into a GPS.

Luckily no church buses were travelling next to him. The younglings would have had quite an eye-closing, brain-bleaching traumatic experience.

[AnotherFairportfan]

 
Hmmm.  It only takes one hand to hold a phone.  

Why wasn't he holding the wheel with his other hand ?

Which is even more ridiculous, as most of your smartphones these days have bundles with a dash holster so it can be turned into a GPS.

It takes two hands to handle a Whopper?

[Sgt. Howard]

How did this numbskull survive to 58? Porn while driving? Imagine THAT in your obituary...

[scantrontb]

How did this numbskull survive to 58? Porn while driving? Imagine THAT in your obituary...

that's pretty easy to figure out... you realize that Detroit isn't in the list of cities that have a large portion of wealthy citizens that could have afforded a porn-playing-cell-phone a while ago, right? this is probably the first phone he got that was CAPABLE of showing porn while driving.... if he could have afforded it years ago, he probably would have Darwin Awarded himself even earlier than now. as for the obit, nah, it'll be a bland "he died in a traffic accident." no further details... oh, well.

[AmriloJim]

He blew his mind out in a car.

[AnotherFairportfan]

oh boy

[Jabberwonky]

He blew his mind out in a car.

It's not my mind I want blown...

[shadowinthelight]

Heh, he was driving a stick.

[Dave]

Heh, he was driving a stick.

With the stereo blaring.

[Alkarii]

He's lucky he didn't survive that. Could you imagine trying to live down that one?

Oh, man, imagine having to tell the insurance company why you wrecked the car!

My brother had learned how to control the steering wheel with just his left knee. Granted, he only did it on a fairly straight stretch, and when there weren't many cars around. Though, he also never watched porn on his phone while driving.

[scantrontb]

He's lucky he didn't survive that. Could you imagine trying to live down that one?

Oh, man, imagine having to tell the insurance company why you wrecked the car!

meh... if he HAD survived he could spin the story any which way he wanted to, by just pulling up his pants, and bs'ing about how he sneezed and lost control or what ever... at the very least he could have turned the phone-porn off... nope, it's MORE embarrassing now that he's gone: he can't defend himself and/or change the story and of course all the news media will pick up on this as a weird-story-of-the-week for his posthumous 15 minutes of fame, then drop it when something new comes along. if he had survived, he probably wouldn't have even made the local news as anything other than: "An accident happened on highway xyz and blocked traffic for a while, use alternate routes till it's cleared"

My brother had learned how to control the steering wheel with just his left knee. Granted, he only did it on a fairly straight stretch, and when there weren't many cars around. Though, he also never watched porn on his phone while driving.

that he'll ADMIT to!...

[shadowinthelight]

He's lucky he didn't survive that. Could you imagine trying to live down that one?

Imagine trying to explain it to St. Peter.

[Sgt. Howard]

He's lucky he didn't survive that. Could you imagine trying to live down that one?

Imagine trying to explain it to St. Peter.

"So... Mr. Penderghast... how did you die...?"
"I was... uh... well I was... ah... it's complicated... you see, I had just ... uh... well I had ... you see, I had internet service on my phone..."
"And you went surfing for porn while you were driving, right? It's right here in the book, you schmuck!"
Stunned, he looked at the Saint- "Then why did you ask me?"
"This job gets boring sometimes- unfortunately I figured out you were going to take years to get around to the truth, so I blew your punchline- you get into that line over there."
"For my robe, halo and wings? And harp! I'll need a harp!"
"You'll be lucky if they give you a kazoo... maybe a tin whistle... you'll defiantly get the polyester leisure suit in 'baby puke green' with bowling shoes of the wrong size and probably a whoopee cushion. Get over there please,"
"But... but I'm in heaven..."
"No, you'll be sequestered to Pittsburgh- from there we MIGHT transfer you to Hell's Kitchen, New York... jacking off to porn while driving, I ask ya... how did you live THIS long?"