We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Need to talk about the day's episode of Wapsi? This is the place to do it. Play nice! ^_^

Moderators: Bookworm, starkruzr, MrFireDragon, PrettyPrincess, Wapsi

Forum rules
When two threads are posted for a day's comic, the thread posted first becomes the starting post. Please delete the second thread and add your post to the first thread. When naming the thread: Comic Name YYYY-MM-DD
Thanks guys! This keeps the forum nice and neat.
User avatar
Opus the Poet
Posts: 2312
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 12:24 am
Location: Surrounded by Hell
Contact:

We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Opus the Poet »

Well the title says it all, pretty much. How do we get to the meeting room at Tina's Mucho Mocha? :lol:
Last edited by Opus the Poet on Sun Oct 23, 2022 2:26 am, edited 3 times in total.
I ride my bike to ride my bike, and sometimes it takes me where I need to go.
User avatar
Sgt. Howard
Posts: 3286
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Malott, Washington

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Sgt. Howard »

Opus the Poet wrote: Tue Sep 13, 2022 11:14 am Well the title says it all, pretty much. How do we get to the meeting room at Tina's Mucho Mocha? :lol:
The Coffeehouse or the "Wapsiholics anonymous" room?
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
User avatar
Opus the Poet
Posts: 2312
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 12:24 am
Location: Surrounded by Hell
Contact:

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Opus the Poet »

I thought Wapsiholics was meeting in the coffeehouse.
I ride my bike to ride my bike, and sometimes it takes me where I need to go.
FreeFlier
Posts: 2383
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 11:33 pm
Location: Land of the webbed feet

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by FreeFlier »

Wolf-who-watches wrote:Two turns to the weft, one wokund widdershins (only one!), and straight on to brillig.
. . .

Do the - er, one wonders if the toves must be slithey.
Wolf-who-watches wrote:Of course. /noselick/
. . .

One is afraid to inquire.

--freeFlier
User avatar
Opus the Poet
Posts: 2312
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 12:24 am
Location: Surrounded by Hell
Contact:

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Opus the Poet »

Tell the wolf I understood those directions except for stopping at brillig.
I ride my bike to ride my bike, and sometimes it takes me where I need to go.
User avatar
Sgt. Howard
Posts: 3286
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Malott, Washington

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Sgt. Howard »

The difficulty lay in the fact that the Brillig keeps moving this time of year, as the Southern migration season approaches...


. oh, what the Hell...

The old Sgt. found himself once again in the dusty, ill-lit room for the never-ending twelve-step non-program of Wapsiholics anonymous.

"???... what in th' ... huh..." he mused to himself as he perused his surroundings, "Why is this infernal quagmire MAH respons'bility?"

Looking around, he saw the decrepit, encrusted coffeemaker with the petrified sludge from the last meeting. With a sweep of his hand, it disappeared and was replaced by a proper espresso/coffee set-up complete with a silver-eyed barista.

"WHAT! THE! HADES!?!" Tina exploded, "WHERE AM I AND WHY AM I HERE?!? AND WHO ARE... oh, CRAP! YOU!!! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO..."

"Stand down thar, Tina." Howard said with a quiet authority that usually got the point across, "- you've been pulled outta yer own time an' inna THIS one- y'all will return back t' th' moment y' came from an' nobuddy'll be th' wiser fer it. Ah... 'haps Ah oughta say 'we'... needs yer services fer th' interim whilst Senor Pablo gits a new annymation t'gether fer Halloween. Y'all kin tag this on Mah account, juss keep a rollin' count, ye knows Ah'm good fer it."

Her annoyance at this was clearly evident, but she busied herself with some minor prepwork while her conglomeration argued with themselves.
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
User avatar
Opus the Poet
Posts: 2312
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 12:24 am
Location: Surrounded by Hell
Contact:

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Opus the Poet »

The portal having been established a shimmer of light announced the arrival of the poet from his "borrowed" with the registration in his name interplanetary shuttle. "Howdy, folks. Tina could I trouble you for a cup of Irish breakfast, 2 sugars and milk, hot? And a cruller if there are any left? Please and Thank You. Do you accept diamond dust in payment?"
I ride my bike to ride my bike, and sometimes it takes me where I need to go.
Warrl
Posts: 1691
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2013 10:44 pm

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Warrl »

A small woman appears. She would look about 30 years old were it not for her height. Slender but not thin, she is dressed in elegant and formal-looking robes of very high quality and carrying a matching shoulder-bag with a silver-colored strap - her long hair appears to flow into the bag. Her ears are proportionately a bit tall, and pointed, hiding a bit of the silver circlet (similarly simple but elegant) on her brow.

She looks around the room. "The mage students have been gribbing with the portals again... I will speak words to them..." Looking up at the three humans who are each roughly twice her height, she asks "Seris and Domna, do you know the process here for getting back to our usual realities? And has this place a name?"
User avatar
Sgt. Howard
Posts: 3286
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Malott, Washington

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Sgt. Howard »

"Ma'am," the Old Sg. drawled, " I rekkon y'd call this th' 'Meetin' Hall'- now, as few gittin' back t' wherever home is, Ah s'pose y'd jus 'magin yer dest'nation and there y' are." He turned to Tina and asked, "Tina- y' rekkon th' Lady maht need sum r'freshment?"

Tina examined the miniature female- "Hmmm... Peppermint with a touch of dark chocolate... don't see that too often. And you fancy the crullers, unless I am mistaken." She examined her stock, "Yup... Becky's finest came with me, it seems- I'm still irritated with you, Greg- but a least you show attention to detail."

"Peppermint 'n' Chocolate? Mah word, Ah likes yor tastes, Ma'am." Greg responded to the astonished Lady. Opus, 'hain't seen yew inna COON'S age! Still terrorizin' th' cosmos, are ye?"

"Not near as much as you terrorize the English language, you old hillbilly! How many of the old crew do you suppose might show up for this shindig?"

"Tain't no tellin', not ever'body does much trav'llin these days."

"Your tea, Opus," Tina offered, "And I shall have yours in a moment, Ma'am." she nodded to the short woman.

Finally, she spoke.

"How does she know my needs? Where exactly is this place I find myself in? And where (looking at the Old Sgt.) exactly are YOU from, that your speech is so affected?"

"Whal now Ma'am, Ah'm frum th' South side o' Heavan, jus a stone's throw frum Paradise." he chuckled.

"Don't let him fool you- he's from California and currently lives in Washington State!" Opus butted in, "...and he can spin a yarn faster than most people can think!"
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
User avatar
Sgt. Howard
Posts: 3286
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Malott, Washington

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Sgt. Howard »

Sgt. Howard wrote: Sat Sep 17, 2022 12:27 am "Ma'am," the Old Sg. drawled, " I rekkon y'd call this th' 'Meetin' Hall'- now, as few gittin' back t' wherever home is, Ah s'pose y'd jus 'magin yer dest'nation and there y' are." He turned to Tina and asked, "Tina- y' rekkon th' Lady maht need sum r'freshment?"

Tina examined the miniature female- "Hmmm... Peppermint with a touch of dark chocolate... don't see that too often. And you fancy the crullers, unless I am mistaken." She examined her stock, "Yup... Becky's finest came with me, it seems- I'm still irritated with you, Greg- but a least you show attention to detail."

"Peppermint 'n' Chocolate? Mah word, Ah likes yor tastes, Ma'am." Greg responded to the astonished Lady. "Opus, 'hain't seen yew inna COON'S age! Still terrorizin' th' cosmos, are ye?"

"Not near as much as you terrorize the English language, you old hillbilly! How many of the old crew do you suppose might show up for this shindig?"

"Tain't no tellin', not ever'body does much trav'llin these days."

"Your tea, Opus," Tina offered, "And I shall have yours in a moment, Ma'am." she nodded to the short woman.

Finally, she spoke.

"How does she know my needs? Where exactly is this place I find myself in? And where (looking at the Old Sgt.) exactly are YOU from, that your speech is so affected?"

"Whal now Ma'am, Ah'm frum th' South side o' Heavan, jus a stone's throw frum Paradise." he chuckled.

"Don't let him fool you- he's from California and currently lives in Washington State!" Opus butted in, "...and he can spin a yarn faster than most people can think!"
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
Warrl
Posts: 1691
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2013 10:44 pm

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Warrl »

"I don't recognize any of those places," the short woman says, "but I already suspected we're from different worlds." She watches this 'Tina' assemble the beverages, or more particularly watches the devices being used. "Thank you, Tina, I was intending to get some food."

Then she turns back to the elderly gentleman. "Ser, I am Zelle, formerly an adventuring Bard. This is not my first trip to other worlds, but I know not what to expect of this one." She reaches into her bag and pulls out a harp.
FreeFlier
Posts: 2383
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 11:33 pm
Location: Land of the webbed feet

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by FreeFlier »

In a dark corner, a shadow firms up . . . and grows . . .

In a moment, it unfolds . . . and again . . . repeatedly doubling in size until it expands into the shadow of a wolf, despite the lack of a wolf to cast a shadow . . . then the shadow suddenly snaps into a three-dimensional shadow, and fades to a glossy black wolf . . . who stretches in a leisurely fashion, then crosses to sit down in front of Tina.

"oh . . . That's unusual . . . just a moment. No fresh squeakers, I'm afraid." Tina pulls out a rather spiky bottle and includes some of its contents in the beverage she brews and pours into an insulated drinking bowl . . .

An odd, sourceless voice can be heard as Tina brews: One is pleased to actually meet everyone . . .

a spot of air starts to glow blue . . . the point opens out into a ring, and a large man with long white hair and beard carefully steps though. The ring shrinks down to non-existence as he greets everyone, and glances at the wolf. "I was almost ready."

She cocks her head, giving an impression of speaking.

"Of course you didn't . . . and you wanted to make An Entrance anyway." He responds - the capitals are audible.

The wolf smirks, and he rolls his eyes. "She has a taste for theatrics. And something she likes to think is a sense of humor."

One has been associating with . . . dubious . . . companions.

"True. . . . So, we've not been here before . . . interesting. Ah, thank you Tina." Tina's point-of-sale chirps to itself. "I believe we know everyone, and I suspect you know who we are . . . but to be sure, I am FreeFlier, and this is Wolf-who-watches."

Those close enough can smell his strong, earthy pu-erh.

"I ask your forgiveness for any lapses of manners . . . I don't handle unstructured environments well."

Lupine eyes roll.

"Shooting at each other imposes a certain firm and urgent structure."
User avatar
Sgt. Howard
Posts: 3286
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Malott, Washington

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Sgt. Howard »

"Freeflier, Wolf-who-Watches, welcome 'bord," Greg addressed the newcomers, "- Zelle, this p'ticular corner o' this p'ticular world, yew kin expect a whole lotta crazy but nuthin' harmful. We's all fans 'n' followers of a p'ticular storyteller who's currently busy with his next ... project... 'n' we are juss sorta ... seekin' each other's company whilst we wait fer the next portion o' his tale. Naow- as fer vittles... hmmm... whut would y' fancy?" he then shot a glance at the beared gent and the wolf, "... and fer you, good Sir- annuthing in particular? Doan' know 'bout squeekers, but Ah'm sure a slab o' red meat might settle that fine wolf... Opus? Y'all got a fav-o-rite cuisine in mind?"
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
User avatar
Opus the Poet
Posts: 2312
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 12:24 am
Location: Surrounded by Hell
Contact:

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Opus the Poet »

When I'm on Earth I reside in Texas, you know I prefer pit Bar-be-que with fresh greens and potatoes, with a gallon or so of sweet iced tea on the side. Oh, and mustard style potato salad. It will be nice to have beef or pork for a change, the Orions usually grow their protein in vats or it swims in their kelp farms. Good eating, but one longs for the foods of his youth.
I ride my bike to ride my bike, and sometimes it takes me where I need to go.
User avatar
Sgt. Howard
Posts: 3286
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Malott, Washington

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Sgt. Howard »

The old Sgt. waved his hand and suddenly the wall adjacent to Tina's coffee operation gained an extra 250 square feet- a lit Webber pot BBQ appeared with a table full of meats, vegetables and condiments. Two large pans of cornbread graced one end along with a large bowl of potato salad, an ice tub of Lone Star beer in long neck bottles and three jugs of sweet tea. Set at the controls was a heavy-set fair complexioned, blue eyed six-foot fellow in his mid-twenties with a short haircut and a full beard.

"Whattleitbe, Pop?" the fellow asked.

"This Gent," here he indicated Opus, "wants t' reminisce 'bout Texas. Do not dis'ppoint me, Son."

"On it," the boy said with a chuckle- "... here fuzzy one- got sumpin' for ya." he said as he threw a raw chuck steak to Wolf-Who-Watches.

"Zelle, Freeflyer, what kin we git ya?"
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
FreeFlier
Posts: 2383
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 11:33 pm
Location: Land of the webbed feet

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by FreeFlier »

"Apparently she has her wolf-apple tea, And this is a nice pu-erh . . . at least by my taste, which is admittedly plebian. Hopefully not fresh squeakers . . . for her, fresh squeakers means fresh enough to chase well."

Image

"And . . . here . . . would anyone like some smoked salmon? Dry-smoked, not that kippered mess so many places insist is smoked. This is Haig & Haig, from Port Angeles, Washington."

FreeFlier lays out a platter with sliced salmon fillets, slices of at least three different kinds of cheddar, and crackers. "The white cheese in the middle is Tillamook sharp white, the yellow Tillamook medium, and the medium-yellow is a double cheddar. Feel free."

--FreeFlier
User avatar
lake_wrangler
Posts: 4279
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
Location: Laval, Québec, Canada

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by lake_wrangler »

Sgt. Howard wrote: Thu Sep 15, 2022 5:36 pm "Stand down thar, Tina." Howard said with a quiet authority that usually got the point across, "- you've been pulled outta yer own time an' inna THIS one- y'all will return back t' th' moment y' came from an' nobuddy'll be th' wiser fer it. Ah... 'haps Ah oughta say 'we'... needs yer services fer th' interim whilst Senor Pablo gits a new annymation t'gether fer Halloween. Y'all kin tag this on Mah account, juss keep a rollin' count, ye knows Ah'm good fer it."
Hey! That's not fair! How can she bill you for overtime, if she's returned to her shop to the same moment she left, having therefore no work time to show for her trouble?




Having said that, hello everyone. Lake_wrangler, here: French Canadian, bus driver, once and future horseman (long story), low bass singer. I brought some fresh poutine, for anyone who would care to try it, as well as some pure maple syrup, to sweeten anyone's sweetenable dish. Yes, I just invented a word. Deal with it!

Don't know how long I'll be around, but I figured I'd at least show up.
Warrl
Posts: 1691
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2013 10:44 pm

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Warrl »

Zelle watches in astonishment, having never before even heard of a 'summon banquet' spell.

Then she takes a sip of her tea (mint and 'dark chocolate', whatever that is) and, sliding her harp back in her bag, goes to examine the offerings.

On the way she notes that this Freeflier's tea smells familiar, and places it as a rare and expensive Ogrish thing. By their tradition a block of the stuff is prepared and labeled with the name of the preparer's youngest family member who's old enough to be safe from childhood diseases, and then is set aside until that child has grandchildren.

After some deliberation she takes some of the root-vegetable concoction (she recognizes that it has a sauce-like ingredient and a spice in common with... what were those called again... 'demoned eggs'?... that she tried at The Crosstime Cafe) and some of the smoked fish. Finding the furniture poorly proportioned for her, she climbs up (dropping her shoes on a chair) and sits on a table - as calmly as if she's eaten in similar fashion often.

It takes only a tenth of a candlemark, if that, to finish her excellent meal.

She contemplates the spectacle she's found herself in, and decides that these mages - Freeflier with the wolf familiar, and the as-yet-unnamed older human man - are showing off a bit.

Well, she is a Master Bard.

After donning her shoes and disposing (in what appears to be the appropriate fashion) of her dishes, she takes a chair. Swinging her harp out in front of her, she begins to play... slowly plucking, not strumming, two strings. A drum joins in. Then a flute adds itself, and plays a melody; a different, somewhat deeper woodwind follows, repeating the melody. All from her harp. All just loud enough that anyone who wants to listen can, no matter where they are in the room, but not so loud as to impede conversation, as more and more instruments join in the performance.

(Meta: she's playing this. Except, in her world, she wrote it.)
User avatar
Sgt. Howard
Posts: 3286
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Malott, Washington

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Sgt. Howard »

"Whal now," the old Sgt commented, "that there is 'bout as fine an ax as Ah've evah seen! Just a minute here... " he muttered as he listened to the melody long enough to catch the direction and progression- then he summoned his own wide-neck classical soft string guitar. To Zelle's further astonishment and amusement, he deftly joined in with a subtle finger-picking follow on her efforts, harmonizing without overpowering.

The effect was quite pleasant.

The room fell quite silent as all parties absorbed the enchanting harmonies of the two. Wolf-Who-Watches sat still as a statue with ears cocked. Tina watched the two with her head slightly cocked as she tried to decipher the complexity of auras that emanated from both. Lake Wrangler started humming a melody that was easily a half-octave lower than the average human voice could muster.
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
User avatar
Opus the Poet
Posts: 2312
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 12:24 am
Location: Surrounded by Hell
Contact:

Re: We have until about Christmas before new material, Where's the portal to the coffeehouse?

Post by Opus the Poet »

That was wonderful, and quite moving. In our world that composition was an homage to the act of making love by two masters of the art, from the slow buildup to the crescendo at the end. The only thing left out was basking in the afterglow.

Whereas this song is all about of the afterglow:
I ride my bike to ride my bike, and sometimes it takes me where I need to go.
Post Reply