Wapsi Square Forum

Charging up the stairs, H-toons cried out "WHEN WERE THESE INSTALLED?!?"

Several minutes later he reappeared, tromping back into the room to first retrieve his cappuccino and then over to Al to give him a healthy "pat" on his back. "Thanks for the alert, I knew I shoulda listened to you when you told me not to buy those surplus RAF tie-downs, something about "English weather" and all that rot." he said with a toothy smile.

"And I wish someone would send out a memo when improvements are made around here. Jumping off rooftops isn't as fun as it used to be. Especially when there's not an expensive car parked out front that belongs to some greasy weasel trying to impress females with to land on."

"And I'll have you know that "baby elephant" is the latest of my lifting body designs that are certain to gain favor (that's "favour" for you, Al) in the aeronautical community when they realize the genius of the shape. Yes, it is slower than those kerosene-burning behemoths that flit about at 30,000 ft or so altitude, but then try to land one of them in a remote corner of the globe that doesn't have a nicely paved runway and first-class lounge for those button pushing prima donnas that wear captains stripes these days."

With that, he settled carefully into a folding chair and wiped cappuccino froth from his mustache.

"Well thunder and damnation! 'Toons, check that windsock up thar so's Ah knows iffen 'Colonel Blimp' here done blew it off with his chin waggin'- Thankee Tina... hmmm... strong wi' a dollop o' molasses... an' two fritters, Becky's finest. It doan' get no better... we got 'nuff here t' call a meetin'?"

"Well, once Hansontoons returns, I suspect that might be the case-" Al replied, "... I have to ask- did you pull those overheads off of two original Bleriot XIs? I am surprise they still operate."

"Anzani three bangers won't run wi' a vertical shaft- had Ah known YEW were a comin', Ah would'a run 'em belt drive- park YEW inna corner and YEW could be the 'donkey'!"

Opus and Lake were seated between the two when that last insult flew- Opus, still in a semi-fugue state, tried to get out of the "impact zone"- Lake, on the other hand' stood up and kept his impressive mass between the two as they were now approaching each other with sparks starting to fly.

"Now Gentlemen..." he started.

"You're abusing that term when you use it on the likes of him!" Al growled as he pointed at Greg.

"Yer fancy jabber doan' pull no weight w' me," Greg growled right back.

"Mostly because you cannot comprehend it!"

That was it- both made the rush, only to be halted by the French-Canadian monolith standing between them. Powerful arms held the two would-be combatants at bay- neither Greg nor Al wished to strike Lake, but none of their training showed them how to move such mass aside without damaging it.

"I will try to say again, Gentlemen- " Lake continued, "... we are in no need of... entertainment... besides, it is well understood that you two will get loud and resolve nothing. Please take a seat, both of you."

Stunned by this, both Al and Greg looked at each other- finally Al blurted out, "We've been called to a halt... by a FRENCHMAN?!?"

"My money says he weren't no Commissioned type- iffen HE served, he wore stripes. Ah've tangled wi' French noncoms, they ain't t' play with...'sides, he's HALF our age an' TWICE our size..."

"Hmmm... well, there is that... raincheck?"

"Raincheck."

Did someone say Bleriot XI?

This one's a replica without the Anzani engine. Had I been patient, I would have taken more photos. There was a large gent standing up next to it and he wasn't interested in moving away for some reason.

See more at pioneerflightmuseum.org

They're having a fly-in day this weekend, I'm planning on dropping by to see what's going on.

Stan rolled over, setting his feet on the floor, stretched a mighty joint cracking stretch, and stood...

And wobbled a bit as the gyros kicked in, so to speak.

He leaned in the direction of the Rain Locker and kept his feet moving to keep from falling down...

"That's FRENCH CANADIAN, if you please... " said lake_wrangler. "I have nothing against French French people (and I know several, from my church), but I would be recognized for my rightful origin, thank you very much," he continued, with a slight smirk on his face, belying his stern sounding booming bass voice.

"And seeing that I am Canadian, that will be 'favOUr' for me, too, Hansontoons..."

"Oh and Greg? I'll concede that I probably am (sadly) indeed twice your size, but I very much doubt you are 106 years old..."

Turning to Tina, he added "Tina? I honestly don't know what exactly I want as beverage, but I do know I would like it sweetened with maple syrup, please... so go ahead and surprise me!"

"Al, it's nice to see you. And some day, I do hope I can make it down to your neck of the woods, and that the invitation to test drive an old (right-hand drive?) Land Rover is still open."

And thus, lake_wrangler passed from NPC in someone else's post (which I found quite amusing, I might add), to active participant in his own post...

With an audible tongue clap and wink, ‘Toons pointed at LW and transitioned his hand to a thumbs-up. Sighing contentedly, he took another swig of his cappuccino and leaned back on his chair.

Softly in the background, music began to play…

“Home, home again. I like to be here when I can…”

Tina, another liter of French Press Sumatran and another apple fritter sil vou plait.

And why hasn't anyone fired up the grill for carnivores? I'm starting to get a hankering for a bacon cheeseburger and something else I can't quite put my finger on as to what. I know it's meat or meat adjacent, but that's as far as I can place it. But FTM a bacon cheeseburger should work.

Also I have been working on a short story from another web comic universe, where I trade a semi-trailer full of Shiner for a spaceship capable of carrying said beer out to the Oort Cloud. They can make their own beer, but can't quite copy Shiner or Guinness. Their hops just don't have the right kind of bite so they import the beers they like. I move into the spaceship, sell my house, and fly back and forth between Earth and their bases with beer and other stuff they can't make, and bring back stuff they collect from our Oort Cloud and the diamonds they have as a byproduct of their semiconductor manufacturing. I make good coin, but really don't need it because I live in space now.

LW- Welcome aboard! 1) I was fully expecting a "French Canadian" discussion with my commentary, 2) never underestimate a hillbilly's capacity for exaggeration and 3) more that a few of us wound up as writers by this manner of ambush.

While bashing French military prowess is a common English/American bigotry, I fully recognize and admire how the French-Canadians acquitted themselves from WWI onward- to say nothing of the fact that the legendary M-1 Garand was the brainchild of a French-Canadian (who's name the English speaking tongue showed no mercy on- It is GARandt, not GaRAND!).

And with that in mind-

Both men stood at either side of the small giant, somewhat flustered- it was Al that spoke first-

"Well, I guess we've been settled then. Greg, I seem to be hearing a stomach growling from the direction of Opus- can you conjure up some manner of hard rations? To be honest, I am feeling a bit peckish myself..."

Sgt. Howard wrote: ↑Tue Nov 09, 2021 11:36 am LW- Welcome aboard! 1) I was fully expecting a "French Canadian" discussion with my commentary,

Are you calling me PREDICTABLE?!?

Sgt. Howard wrote: ↑Tue Nov 09, 2021 11:36 am2) never underestimate a hillbilly's capacity for exaggeration

Somehow, I don't think they exactly have a monopoly on the whole concept... But don't look at me... I'm much too humble for that kind of shenanigans... In fact, I'd go as far as to say that humility is one of my best qualities... Yessiree, I'm downright proud of my humility!
(Where's a "straight face" emoticon, when you need one?)

Sgt. Howard wrote: ↑Tue Nov 09, 2021 11:36 am3) more that a few of us wound up as writers by this manner of ambush.

Just don't expect too much from my end... To paraphrase the bible... "The spirit is willing, but the free time on the calendar is weak..."

Sgt. Howard wrote: ↑Tue Nov 09, 2021 11:36 amWhile bashing French military prowess is a common English/American bigotry,

While I couldn't quote any specific example, I am aware of the concept. Something about making them out to be too quick to give up, or some such, because of WWII. Which, of course, completely ignores pesky facts like the Résistance, or all those who rallied around Général De Gaule...

Sgt. Howard wrote: ↑Tue Nov 09, 2021 11:36 amI fully recognize and admire how the French-Canadians acquitted themselves from WWI onward-

On their behalf, I thank you for the acknowledgement. On my behalf, I thank them for their sacrifice.

Sgt. Howard wrote: ↑Tue Nov 09, 2021 11:36 amto say nothing of the fact that the legendary M-1 Garand was the brainchild of a French-Canadian (who's name the English speaking tongue showed no mercy on- It is GARandt, not GaRAND!).

Of course, it's GARand... who would be silly enough to think otherwise...



Seeing as tempers were no longer flaring, lake_wrangler headed over to the counter where Tina was waiting for him with a cup of simple Orange Pekoe tea, sweetened, as previously requested, with maple syrup. Leave it to Tina to know I'm a man of simple taste (most of the time...) I've tried coffee, and still have some at home, but never really got hooked on it. Even tea, I don't drink all that often. I've come to associate drinking tea with relaxing, taking a break, you know, quiet time... (Not that I expect this shinding to be all that quiet, but one can hope, I guess...)

"Thank you, Tina. I'll also take an apple fritter, please, until I get a chance to see what's on the carnivore menu that seems to be coming up soon..."

(I got hooked on apple fritters when I was working at a thoroughbred horse farm, and one of the guys told me that when the coffee truck came, the apple fritter was the pastry that gave you the most (in quantity) for the price. That was a good argument to get started. The delightful taste kept me coming back to the treat in question afterwards.)

lake_wrangler wrote: ↑Wed Nov 10, 2021 12:05 am

(I got hooked on apple fritters when I was working at a thoroughbred horse farm, and one of the guys told me that when the coffee truck came, the apple fritter was the pastry that gave you the most (in quantity) for the price. That was a good argument to get started. The delightful taste kept me coming back to the treat in question afterwards.)

... amazingly while working on a farm who's animal droppings resemble apple fritters...

"Hard Rations, ye say? Whal now lemme see hyar- "Greg looked at a corner as of yet unemployed, "... hmmm... but who to run it?... jes a minute..." and he pulled his phone and dialed a number.

"Hey toots- you feel like struttin' yer wares?.... jes' we got us'n a scrap o' hungry Wapsimaniacs hyar an'... uh huh... Whal, whut manner o' cookstove would yew p'fer?... REALLY?!?... OH!- ... uh huh... uh huh... uh huh... Whal naow, pop on over an' let's do this... uh huh... Ah adore yew!... 'bye!"

He then turned full attention to the aforementioned corner- an old cast iron wood burning "Kitchen Queen" appeared, fully stove-piped and set with water heater tubing. Right next to it was a large BBQ barrel with live coals, also vented. Pots, pans and utensils hung from an overhead iron rail set that was mounted into the ceiling. Of course, the walls were moved out to accommodate as a kitchen worktable appeared along with a counter with wet-sink along one stretch of wall. Next a LARGE refrigerator showed up as well as some cabinetry- soon the kitchen was the size of what the room was before Greg started alterations.
Right as Greg finished, a 5'10" full-sized redhead with ... large tracts of land... poited into the room and passionately greeted her husband.

Sgt. Howard wrote: ↑Wed Nov 10, 2021 1:30 am

lake_wrangler wrote: ↑Wed Nov 10, 2021 12:05 am(I got hooked on apple fritters when I was working at a thoroughbred horse farm, and one of the guys told me that when the coffee truck came, the apple fritter was the pastry that gave you the most (in quantity) for the price. That was a good argument to get started. The delightful taste kept me coming back to the treat in question afterwards.)

... amazingly while working on a farm who's animal droppings resemble apple fritters...

Ah... you mean the infamous "pommes de route?"
(Thusly named because of the shape, and the fact that they are most noticeable when found on the side of the roads...)



When I was in charge of the horseback riding program of a summer camp, we played a game between riding sessions, while waiting for the next group of campers to come up... I had a tennis ball, which we threw around while seated on the horses that were tied at the hitching post. For N workers available to play, N-1 were seated on horseback, while the other one was standing on the ground. If a throw was a decent throw, but the person failed to catch it, they would then dismount while the ground person went after the ball. Upon returning with the ball, the ground person then mounted the horse, and the game continued. Alternatively, if the person throwing the ball threw it too wide or too high for the other to be reasonably expected to catch it, then the person who threw the ball would dismount, while the ground person went after the ball, and they would then switch places.

I called that game... Road Apples...


Incidentally, I'm pretty sure I did throw actual, hardened road apples at someone, once, during my many years at that summer camp...

Stan, having been hydrated quite thoroughly on the external,
knocked back a half mason jar of the ol H2O to help lubricate his insides and approached the cool storage larder to gather a few items in a rucksack.

He then walked over to his Cabinet de Carne.

Selecting a few things w/ bones in them and a few fillets that used to swim about, he headed down the hallway to a door that look suspiciously like common closet door.

The slight woosh of a pressure differential as he opened it belied this notion, and he stepped through...

"Greg," Al commented with concern, "... did you install some manner of airlock to this dwelling?"

"No- who else be achitectin' here?"

Oh, that's good, about like a Whataburger on a good day. (high praise indeed)

Anybody besides me keeping an eye on Pablo's Patreon? He actually had to tell someone not to post Patreon Patron only images to other fora.

And if you'll excuse me that makes 3 liters of coffee without a bathroom break. My bladder is legendary, but even it has limits.

Sgt. Howard wrote: ↑Wed Nov 10, 2021 8:22 pm "Greg," Al commented with concern, "... did you install some manner of airlock to this dwelling?"

"No- who else be achitectin' here?"

I believe that's the docking module for my space-faring beer truck. It has autonomous flight and landing, but the safety protocols still require it to dock with an airlock.

Opus the Poet wrote: ↑Thu Nov 11, 2021 2:42 am

Sgt. Howard wrote: ↑Wed Nov 10, 2021 8:22 pm "Greg," Al commented with concern, "... did you install some manner of airlock to this dwelling?"

"No- who else be achitectin' here?"

I believe that's the docking module for my space-faring beer truck. It has autonomous flight and landing, but the safety protocols still require it to dock with an airlock.

Now imagines a truck in space, made entirely out of beer (the truck, not space), rather than a beer-carrying spaceship, as was previously described...

This was a bad message I deleted.

lake_wrangler wrote: ↑Thu Nov 11, 2021 11:49 am

Opus the Poet wrote: ↑Thu Nov 11, 2021 2:42 am

I believe that's the docking module for my space-faring beer truck. It has autonomous flight and landing, but the safety protocols still require it to dock with an airlock.

Now imagines a truck in space, made entirely out of beer (the truck, not space), rather than a beer-carrying spaceship, as was previously described...

Well it's an interplanetary shuttle roughly the size of a 53' trailer and conventional cab tractor that I use to carry beer out to space people out in the Oort Cloud. Also I carry some CDs and DVDs out there, too, but the real money is beer. Basically a one-for-one exchange by weight in industrial diamond dust, pound of dust for a pound of beer. It's a living.