An Unearthly Portal

Moderators: Bookworm, starkruzr, MrFireDragon, PrettyPrincess, Wapsi

Post Reply
User avatar
jwhouk
Posts: 6053
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:58 am
Location: The Valley of the Sun, Arizona
Contact:

An Unearthly Portal

Post by jwhouk »

This has been bouncing around in my head for a while.

---

It had been a very long time since I'd last visited the Library for the reason it existed – namely, the whole "seeking knowledge" thing.

My last several visits to the Library had either been to talk to the Librarian, or to portal somewhere else. There'd been no time on my schedule for a leisurely afternoon of just reading, researching, and relaxing.

I went right to the section I'd been itching to get back to for months – the history of hockey. All of the various things around the National Hockey League's centennial year were making me want to delve deeper into what was written about the events leading to its formation.

The story would make for a good docudrama, I thought. The creation of an all-star, all-soldier hockey club – and then having them play in the highest professional league in Eastern Canada, essentially to ride a wave of patriotism in an effort to keep hockey alive during the depths of the Great War.

And then, the decision of the Royal Canadian Armed Forces to order the club to active duty had them shipping out to Europe before completing the schedule. That had a domino effect on things in the hockey world that eventually led to the National Hockey League's formation.

Not all of it was good, mind you. Enough backstabbing and legal maneuvering in the name of greed happened to make for something out of a George R. R. Martin novel – without, of course, all the killing and incest.

"Might even make for a BBC miniseries," I mused aloud as I read another tome about the 228th Battalion.

As I stood there, I heard a strange noise coming from the end of the stack. It was an odd noise, familiar but one I could not quite place immediately.

It sounded like… someone rubbing a key over piano strings.

I turned to look down the row to the end. There, at the end of the stacks, stood a blue British police box, with the light atop it flashing briefly as the last of the weird grinding noise faded. At this point, I was no longer concerned with my book. I put it back on the shelf, and wandered down to the box.

I looked around for a moment – not sure if I should expect funny-looking metal robots to suddenly come around the corner, screeching, "EX-TER-MIN-ATE!" with extreme prejudice.

I also wondered who would emerge from the box; a stentorian-looking older man, with gray curls and a harsh demeanor? Maybe, perhaps, some odd-faced gentleman with a bowtie – or fez?

No – perhaps it would be a gentleman dressed like an English dandy – or in a cricket sweater with a stalk of celery on the lapel! Maybe even a guy with a long scarf, or weird lapels with question marks on them. Or, just an old suit with even older Chuck Taylors.

Heaven help us if it's some old gentleman in a leather jacket, carrying an odd box with a jewel on top…

The door to the box opened, and nothing emerged – at first. I thought I saw a woman's hand on the door, but it disappeared quickly as the door closed slightly again. I had a brief thought of running into a curly-haired redhead with an attitude, but this was suddenly dispatched by the sight of a figure emerging from the police box.

A large-brimmed red hat obscured the face, but the burgundy overcoat with a purple belt accentuated the curves of this individual. The hips and legs gave it away that this was a female – which immediately put me on alert.

If this is "Missy," I'm going to be making a hasty retreat to Phix's office, I thought briefly.

The figure finally turned around. She had reddish-brown hair, dangling out from under the hat. She was placing something in a handbag she had slung over her shoulder, and didn't seem to have a care in the world.

"Uh, hello?" I said, a bit more shakily than I expected. She looked up quickly, taking in her surroundings with a near-manic intensity, before putting on a smile.

"Hello," she replied warmly in an obvious English accent. "I'm the Doctor. Could you tell me if Madame Phix is in?"

"Uh, uh," was all I could get out for a moment. "Sorry, I, um, wasn't exactly expecting this when I came to the Library today." Her response to this was just laughter.

"I get that a lot, believe me," she replied. "And a bit more than usual as of late." She adjusted her handbag strap over her shoulder. "Now then – Madame Phix? I am in need of her services."

"Well," I thought for a moment. "She should be in her office, but I believe she was in the process of putting her youngest down for a nap. That is no mean feat, even for her. She may not be… available… for a while."

Her face seemed to droop a bit, but then brightened as she considered things.

"Yes, I suppose. Apotropaic sphinxes are not easy to deal with, at any age," she stated firmly. She noticed that I was still staring at her. "Let me guess – it's the box, right? I can tell you right now, it is very hard to get parts for a chameleon circuit when the planet where they are sourced is no longer in this plane of existence." She took a few steps away from the box, then – as an afterthought – pulled a key fob out of her handbag and pressed a button. There was a dual chirp that came from the box itself – something that made me chuckle involuntarily.

"A car alarm for a police box?"

"Yes! Finally found what I did with it, after I had to put her all back together that one time," she said, depositing the key fob easily in her bag. She eyed me briefly. "You don't seem too shocked."

"Well, I guess I wouldn't, all things considered." I motioned around with my hand. "Not with all the people I've met here."

"I'd say. That little grid has kept most of the nasties away from Earth in this timeline… oh, dear me, I'm already making assumptions. You are from Earth, correct?"

"Uh, yeah, last I looked," I replied. "I'm sorry, you're not exactly what I expected to see, emerging from a blue police box."

"What were you expecting?" she retorted with a note of indignity. "Some older bloke with a cravat?"

"Well, I…"

"Oh, let me guess – a gent with a bowl haircut. Or perhaps a bowler and a cane?"

"No, not that at all…"

"Typical male-centric point of view," she dismissed with a wave. "Not all regenerations are the same, you know. Shocked the hell out of River when I first saw her, for certain."

"I…" Her non sequiturs were making it a bit hard to focus.

"Put off my most recent companions as well," she mused for a moment, noticing a book on the stack to the one side. "Hm, The History of Lord Stanley's Cup. Odd, to be writing about the dishware of members of parliament, I'd say."

This brought me out of my reverie.

"What? No – that's about the hockey trophy." I pointed to another book, which I quickly took off the shelves and pointed to the familiar silver cup with a large barrel-shaped base. "The Stanley Cup – donated by Sir Frederick Arthur, Lord Stanley of Preston, when he was Governor-General of Canada. It's hockey's premier championship trophy." I eyed her briefly. "Don't tell me you never ran into him at some point in your travels?"

"No, I was a bit too concerned with saving the universe and whatnot," she retorted in a rather shrill voice.

"More like running from the universe, if what's been told is true," came a voice behind the blue box.

A shadow slowly coalesced into the form of a young girl with large elf-like ears and a shirt with odd black-and-white striped sleeves.

"Hi, Tsillah," I said with a weak wave.

"Thought I heard a TARDIS floating around here. How are things in the never ending battle against wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff?"

"Ah, finally, someone with whom I'm familiar. Daughter of Charon, correct?" Tsillah only nodded in response. "I came seeking Madame Phix, if she's finally available?"

"Well, she was still fussing over Dixie when I last saw her," Tsillah replied.

Tsillah and I exchanged a glance and a pause, as if waiting for something, before she continued.

"She should be available momentarily."

"Good. I need some information about a rather bizarre tidbit I discovered in the depths of my TARDIS. Looked Lanthian in nature, and gods forbid that you actually find information on that outside of here," she said with a motion.

"Well, there are these two ladies I've met in the Twin Cities, in Minnesota," I began.

She frowned.

"Sorry, but I am not very likely to go asking that daft Mayahuel about anything Lanthian, what with her wandering around, flirting with demons and whatnot." She inhaled deeply at the thought. "And her daughter? Feh. Those Lanthians were a daft bunch. They wanted to turn Earth into Gallifrey II, if they'd had their way. Anyways – take care, and well met."

I could only wave as the woman in the red coat and hat strode purposefully away toward the grand hall. Tsillah stood beside me as we watched her disappear around the corner of the stacks.

"Gods and paranormals, I could handle. Aliens from other worlds…" My eyes glazed over a bit.

"Oh, you mean Gallifrey?" Tsillah replied with some surprise. "Different plane of existence. They're essentially what Earth would have ended up becoming had the Lanthian culture not decided to vaporize themselves thousands of years ago." She giggled slightly. "She's lucky that old rust-bucket of hers isn't affected by the World Grid."

"I… I don't know what floors me the most," I finally replied. "That Gallifrey is an alternate earth, or that the Doctor really exists… or that everyone who put money on Hayley Atwell taking the role was dead on."

"Who's Hayley Atwell?" Tsillah asked.
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
User avatar
lake_wrangler
Posts: 4300
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
Location: Laval, Québec, Canada

Re: An Unearthly Portal

Post by lake_wrangler »

This line made me laugh:
jwhouk wrote:"Well, she was still fussing over Dixie when I last saw her," Tsillah replied.

Tsillah and I exchanged a glance and a pause, as if waiting for something, before she continued.
I'm surprised Phix didn't hear that all the way from her office...

Nice touch of continuity and extension of a running gag, albeit subverted, in this case...

Come to think of it, I wonder if there is a specific trope name for that, or if it merely falls under the running gag trope...


So, is there more to this story, or was that a one-off?

Incidentally, I have to admit that you had me puzzled, by mentioning the NHL's 100th anniversary... Seeing as the Montreal Canadiens celebrated their 100th back in 2009... A quick trip to Wikipedia improved my knowledge on the subject...
User avatar
jwhouk
Posts: 6053
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:58 am
Location: The Valley of the Sun, Arizona
Contact:

Re: An Unearthly Portal

Post by jwhouk »

One-off.
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
User avatar
Just Old Al
Posts: 1683
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:43 am
Location: Wilderness of Massachusetts
Contact:

Re: An Unearthly Portal

Post by Just Old Al »

jwhouk wrote:One-off.
And not part of the fanon. Joe's had a lot of fun with this, but the mix of the Who universe and the WS universe is just incompatible.

Every time I think about this, it gives me a headache... :)
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
User avatar
jwhouk
Posts: 6053
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:58 am
Location: The Valley of the Sun, Arizona
Contact:

Re: An Unearthly Portal

Post by jwhouk »

Completely separate universe.


And no one called me on dressing Ms. Atwell up like Carmen Sandiego?
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
User avatar
Just Old Al
Posts: 1683
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:43 am
Location: Wilderness of Massachusetts
Contact:

Re: An Unearthly Portal

Post by Just Old Al »

jwhouk wrote:Completely separate universe.


And no one called me on dressing Ms. Atwell up like Carmen Sandiego?
Don't know who that is and you do whatever you like as long as I don't have to recognize it.
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
User avatar
jwhouk
Posts: 6053
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:58 am
Location: The Valley of the Sun, Arizona
Contact:

Re: An Unearthly Portal

Post by jwhouk »

"Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?"
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
User avatar
Dave
Posts: 7584
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:58 pm
Location: Mountain View, CA, USA

Re: An Unearthly Portal

Post by Dave »

jwhouk wrote:"Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?"
Washington DC, of course. Red states... blondish hair... the location of at least one carmine sandy ego is fairly well understood now.
User avatar
Atomic
Posts: 2948
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 12:39 am
Location: Central PA
Contact:

Re: An Unearthly Portal

Post by Atomic »

I think you've exceeded my regular daily allowance for in-jokes and esoteric references!

Applause!
Don't let other peoples limitations become your constraints!

My Deviant Art scribbles
The Atomic Guide to Basic GIMP Stuff
Post Reply