Miss Clara

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Just Old Al
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Miss Clara

Post by Just Old Al »

AN: Note, chronologically this is going on just after the events in "Baby Sphinx" Al's chaos demons are working overtime - and that is never good. When they start roping in lawyers...that's even worse.


Al drove into the parking area at Building 2. Ari’s Mustang was already there, and the lights were on in the office. He parked, disarmed the charges on the Aston (memo: Get Cleese’s arse on a plane and here to change the default mode on this damn alarm!), and walked up the staircase to the office area and into his office.

The smell of coffee wafted from the cup he carried, and he took a deep draught, savoring the impeccably-brewed Kona. Jacket off, hat off and on stand, and down to the desk to get through the paperwork for the morning. MIB was as usual after reports on the back-shop work, and the metallurgical analyses on the carding machine castings were back and needed to be gone over. Odds are today was not going to be a good day - office work.

Ari entered – unusual, as she normally waited till his caffeine level had reached civilized levels. She held out a letter, adorned with CERTIFIED stickers and the stub of a signature card on the back. The envelope, of expensive stock, bore a Minneapolis postmark and was well-stuffed with paper.

“When I stopped at the post office to clean out the box I found they had this – I signed for it.”

Al took the envelope with all of the enthusiasm of a maiden aunt disposing of a dead lizard. He knew legal paperwork when he saw it, and that invariably meant trouble.

The return address was a high-powered Minneapolis law firm – Dewey, Cheatem and Howe – and the postmark was the previous Friday.

Slitting the envelope open, he was confronted with the following letter:


VIA CERTIFIED MAIL

Mr. Allan Richer
Richer Engineering
22 Chesnut Lane
Minnetonka, MN 55345

Re: Infringement of Trademark Rights of Snobby Winery, INC.

Dear Mr.Richer:

This law firm represents SNOBBY WINERY, INC.. (“Snobby Winery Bottle and Grapes”) in connection with its intellectual property rights. Your use of Snobby Winery Bottle and Grapes is a violation of SNOBBY WINERY, INC.’s common law trademark rights, common law service mark rights, and trade name rights, and this letter constitutes SNOBBY WINERY, INC.’s demand that you cease and desist any and all use of these domain names. You should immediately forward this letter to your attorney.

SNOBBY WINERY, INC. is a family owned business offering quality wines to consumers in the Twin Cities, MN area, and throughout Minnesota. SNOBBY WINERY, INC. was registered as a Minnesota corporation in April, 1996 and has continually used “Snobby Winery Bottle and Grapes” (the “Marks”) throughout Minnesota as its brand name since that time. Since its incorporation, SNOBBY WINERY, INC. has continually used the Marks in advertising campaigns and in the community, including through its website.

In the event that….

The letter continued on for three more pages, the demands getting more and more strident in their emphasis.

“It’s bad, isn’t it, Al?” Ari, concerned, had stayed as he read it. By his posture and demeanor she could tell that whatever this was, good was not a word for it.

“It’s not good. Snobby Winery finally caught up to me – how I have no idea – and they are demanding I forthwith stop using their trademarks, and henceforth and heretofore not be caught driving an ambulance disguised as a wine truck around these parts anymore. Frankly, I'm amazed they managed to find me, and that they cared about the logos on one truck.”

Al sighed dramatically.

“Ari, would you call over to the main offices? I think I want my stepson to have a look at this if he can spare me a few minutes.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well?”

Buck sat back in his desk chair, blew out his cheeks, and considered the letter lying on his blotter.

“Al, you’re busted. They have you, lock stock and barrel on this one. Unless you want to pay stupid money in fines and penalties, we have got to get the winery logos off the sides of Miss Clara.”

Al, more than a trifle nettled, said “Easier said than done. I had a look at those logos a month or so ago – they don’t peel even with the application of a heating apparatus. Enough heat to get the stripes to peel took off the paint as well – and you know how hard the AHI White is to remove.”

“Wow. Let me guess, they used the commercial decal stock when they plotter-cut those.”

“I suspect so.”

“You tell me, Al. How can we get the logos off that truck so you don’t end up in the clink?”

“Depends – can I get you to sell me some prototype shop time?”

Buck grinned. He knew where this was going – and he was more than willing to ride along.

“That…could be arranged. I take it you require the services of Mr. Juan and Mr. McAdams again?”

“You read my mind.”
Last edited by Just Old Al on Tue Mar 22, 2016 5:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
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Just Old Al
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by Just Old Al »

A few days later Miss Clara, Al, Buck and the denizens of the prototype shop were once again in conference.

Clara, standing proud in her unfashionable and now-illegal finery, was again under discussion.

“…so, basically the old girl is going to cost me a LOT of money if we don’t change her paint scheme. At a minimum the logos need to go – however experimentation on that told me that those will not come off without considerable effort – to the great detriment of the underlying paintwork.”

McAdams snorted. “Damn right they’ll be hard to remove – that’s the decal stock we use on the commercial items. That is not coming off under heat – cryogenics will break the bond, but that will still mess up the paint underneath. Any way you look at it those panels are going to need painting. It’s not like we’ve run out of AHI White, so not a problem.”

Juan spoke up. “Let’s ask the question – what do YOU want? We know what the lawyers “ he spat at a trash bin “want, but what do YOU see as an end product?”

Al eyed his son – the lawyer was eyeing Juan flintily, and Juan had realized he’d managed to annoy the CEO of the company. However, he pushed on bravely.

“Really, at the end of the day it’s not what anyone else wants, but what you want for Clara. She’s your “best girl”, and deserves to get the best. That’s why you brought her here, after all.” Juan grinned and nudged McAdams, who chuckled as well – a rumbling deep in his chest. At that point Al wondered if he was an ursamorph...he'd need little disguising to make a perfect bear.

Refocusing on the discussion, Al sighed. It was worth saying this, even though he knew he couldn’t have it.

“Gentlemen, what I’d love dearly to have back is Clara in her original MOD paint scheme. WHen I brought her in here for you to redo long ago she was exactly as she'd retired from the MOD, down to her bridge plates. I know what she was supposed to wear – I was REME at the end of my career – but she wasn’t strictly to the rules as she’d been re-lettered at least twice in her career and not completely to the newest specification either time.

Unfortunately, she ended up getting repainted here in a big hurry and I didn’t have camera equipment at the time to document her. If wishes were fishes…but it’s not to be.”

Juan and McAdams both broke out laughing. Buck and Al were startled – laughing at the old man’s wishes was a shocking breach of discourtesy.

“Sorry, Mr. Alexander, Al – don’t mean to seem rude.” McAdams said. “I knew this was going to come up." He flipped his hand out, palm upward towards his engineer. "Juan – PAY ME. That’s 5 bucks.”

“Sue me.” Juan laughed, then dug out his wallet and handed over the demanded currency. Al and buck continued to stare as the tomfoolery went on. McAdams laughed again, and continued.

“Well…you see, while Clara’s engine conversion was being worked on we had some slack time before she was supposed to go to surface prep and the paint. In between engine out and engine in she was free – and we closed her up and wheeled her out to where we could get good perspectives – and the company photographer shot the hell out of her. He must have shot close to a hundred pictures from various points and even above - we got him up in the light-maintenance handler so he could get perspectives from above.

We have high-resolution detail shots of the old girl so fine you can see the paint chips on the door hinges.”

Al was dumbstruck. Buck spoke for him “So we can put her back the way she was?”

“Nope – we can make it better as we can put her in new paint without the corrosion, rust and chips. She’ll look like she just rolled out of the paint shops before she went on duty.”

“I don’t know what to say – thank you, gentlemen. That answers the questions on the end product quite handily.” Al was thrilled with this news.

“So, back to details. What I would like to see is her stripped and masked off – pull the lights, surrounds and anything removable. Seal and mask, then media blast the exterior to strip it. Off with everything down to the original aluminium. I’m not equipped to do this at RE on an item her size – which is why we’re here.

After that, etch prime, prime, sand and then three coats of satin NATO green. I want her to look good and have a surface that will take a protective wax – the matt IR camo paints originally used on her and her kind won’t and they chalk badly after a few years.”

“Who’s going to mark her up? I know the decal guys could do it.”

“I will. I know how this is done, and I’ve taught the process, so I’m more than familiar with it. No decals – these are done in paint right on the surface. I want her as original as possible other than the base paint.”

McAdams had been taking notes. “OK, anything else?”

“Yes. If possible, get the interior repainted – and plug the screwholes.”

“Want us to seal them over? We can get a TIG guy in…”

“No. Plugs, or screws. I still have the gun racks – never know when we might need them again.” Al grinned, but with that his mind was a million miles away and seeing things he never wanted to see again. He sobered momentarily, and then refocused.

“No problem. We’ll get her cleaned up inside as well.”

“Lovely, gentlemen. So, when do you want her and what are schedules like?”

Juan and McAdams went into a huddle. Unknown to Al, they’d been warned by Buck, so they knew what the priority was on this job – high – and the expectations the same.

“With Mr. Alexander’s permission I’d like to tell you to leave her with us. We can get her in in-between other things when the machinery isn’t in use” this was a lie – Buck told them “I want it done ASAP!” “and we can have her in and out in the base coat in a few weeks.”

“Stunning.” Al reached into his pocket and extracted his keyring, removing the LR’s ring.

“Gentlemen, she is yours. Treat her well, she’s important to me.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later, McAdams got a phone call at his desk.

“Mr. Alexander! Good to hear from you again. What can I do for you?”

“It’s about Clara. Let me tell you what *I* want. ”

“Yes, sir!”

"First, you will not yeild to the pushy old man when it comes to talking expenses. The costs on this one are going to the same place the last batch went...As far as I am concerned this is a restoration of the damage done back then. Next..."
.
.
.

After the conversation McAdams hung up the phone, dazedly wondering what one had to do to inspire people like that.
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
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jwhouk
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by jwhouk »

For those of you who wonder how this fits in with Wapsi Square:

Snobby Winery
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by jwhouk »

---

Buck put the phone down for a moment, then remembered something - and speed-dialed back to the plant.

"McAdams..."

"...And DON'T forget to keep the Teasmade in there! Al would never let me hear the end of it!"

*click*

McAdams had a blank look on his face. It's a good thing this place has a great benefit package...
Last edited by jwhouk on Fri Mar 18, 2016 9:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Just Old Al
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by Just Old Al »

I much prefer this one.
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by jwhouk »

You know, Neil's not going to like you using his granddaughter in adverts like that...
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by DinkyInky »

jwhouk wrote:You know, Neil's not going to like you using his granddaughter in adverts like that...
Amanda took the photos. Snobby Winery is the one who paid for its use.
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by jwhouk »

DinkyInky wrote:
jwhouk wrote:You know, Neil's not going to like you using his granddaughter in adverts like that...
Amanda took the photos. Snobby Winery is the one who paid for its use.
And, apparently, they had enough left over to pay for the lawyers, too.
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by FreeFlier »

I wonder what this would do to the decals . . .

Alternatively, how about dry-ice blasting? That will remove Imron* . . .

--FreeFlier
*Spelling? It's a very durable aviation paint.
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by Just Old Al »

FreeFlier wrote:I wonder what this would do to the decals . . .

Alternatively, how about dry-ice blasting? That will remove Imron* . . .

--FreeFlier
*Spelling? It's a very durable aviation paint.
I know Imron well...NASTY stuff. That is a paint that required a moonsuit - and would give you liver cancer 5 years down the road. Sprayed that stuff exactly once and I'm still nervous about it.

Problem is they're thick plastic - and a VERY good adhesive. They'll have to be chemical/brute forced off the truck, then the aftermath dealt with. That's aluminium - not going to take the horsing around , Neigh!

They used the wrong material - this was the decal material they have for high-wear spots on steel booms and things like that. Oopsie.
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by Dave »

Just Old Al wrote:I know Imron well...NASTY stuff. That is a paint that required a moonsuit - and would give you liver cancer 5 years down the road. Sprayed that stuff exactly once and I'm still nervous about it.
Yikes. :shock: I looked it up, and I don't think I have ever seen a scarier MSDS. More nasties in that stuff than I would want to deal with, without extensive training, and a full suite of PPE that would cost a month's salary for starters.
2,4-pentanedione, a component of this product, is regulated by the U.S. EPA, under a significant new use rule. It is a violation of federal law to sell or use this product in
consumer applications, including to private individuals, schools, and vocational schools.
That's a new one on me... an "industrial use only" labeling which is enforced by Federal law!

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Re: Miss Clara

Post by GlytchMeister »

From the way you guys are describing it, it sounds a whole lot like agent orange...
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Just Old Al
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by Just Old Al »

This stuff makes that defoliant look like Ty-D-Bowl. It's a tremendous coating - very good - but it's a hell's brew of chemistry. There are very few things I flat-out refuse to work with but Imron is one of them. TBH I don't believe they even make it any more.
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by FreeFlier »

Last I knew Imron was still made . . . because nothing much else stood up to Skydrol (aircraft hydraulic fluid), which is also very nasty stuff.

It's possible that someone has come up with something that manages to replace one or both and gotten it FAA-certified, but I think I would have heard about it.

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Re: Miss Clara

Post by jwhouk »

I would think that the boys at the plant wouldn't put something on a vehicle that they didn't know how to remove at some point.
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by Just Old Al »

The Imron discussion is entirely incidental - FF brought it up and I started cringing.

The decals are just typical industrial hell. Peel them back and flood the glue bond with solvent and they'll come off - but so will the paint.

Clara will be fine - she and Mr. Media Blaster are going to have a hot night and she is going to end up naked.

Stay tuned...
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Re: Miss Clara

Post by FreeFlier »

And my point was that if dry-ice blasting will remove Imron from aluminum without damage, it should remove just about anything else, including the British equivalent of CARC. (CARC was the rather nasty chemical-resistant paint the US military was using around that time.)

Neither as toxic nor as tough as Imron, but still nasty stuff.

And since the dry ice sublimates soon after, the hazardous waste for disposal is limited to the paint and other substances removed.

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Re: Miss Clara

Post by Just Old Al »

Re: Dry-ice blasting:

Problem there is that Imron, while it hangs on with a death grip, is a thin, fragile mechanical coating. .032 of industrial PVC isn't even going to notice dry ice.

In any case, they'll get them off. See MAPP torch and a BIG putty knife. If you don;t care about the substrate paint then melting/burning off the decals is not an issue. It will STINK....
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Re: Miss Clara

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Juan and McAdams sat in McAdams’ office, nursing coffees and a bag of cookies sent over from RE.

“What the hell are we gonna do, man? I heard what Mr. Alexander wants – and I’m not sure we can do it in the time we promised. He’s really expanded the scope of work.”

“Expanded it may be, but get it done we will.” McAdams, imperturbable, took another pull on his coffee and snagged a jammy dodger from the bag.

“What the hell are you, Yoda? We are screwed on this schedule, man.”

“No, we’re not. Today, we hack the decals off it. Do whatever damage you need to as long as you don’t hack up the aluminum. Put a torch to ‘em and they’ll come off – just keep it moving or you’ll overheat the panels. After that, she’s got a date with the media blasters tonight.

Pull the interior and the stereo, pull the gasketed windows, the flaps, doors, hood and any other moving parts and mask everything else. Seal the cabin up as best you can with tape and sheeting – we’ll need to clean the media out of it anyway. She goes to the blasters, and we get her back clean.

Then we start on the bodywork and prepping the interior. There is not a lot of work there – it’s not that big if you think about repainting a harvester. The running systems are good, there’s no mechanical work – it’s all cosmetic.”

“I still think you’re crazy. We’ll get her done, though – the Boss wants it, he gets it, and we never let him down before. Did we find a sign painter yet?”

“Still working on it. Got the guys in the detail shop calling retirees to see if any of them remember how to do this stuff. Al’s majordomo – what’s a majordomo? – is digging into his bookcase to find us the manuals, and I’ve got Research digging out online resources. Runnymeade is on the phone to their buddies at the MOD to see what they can get us, too.”

“I hope we pull it off…”
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Re: Miss Clara

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“Day-umm! I h’aint never seen a nekkid truck before! Hyuck, hyuck!” McAdams, front teeth pushed out grotesquely in imitation of a jackrabbit, joked as they stared at the ambulance fresh back from the media blasters.

“It really looks…odd.” Juan was none too pleased with the look of the vehicle.

She had been thoroughly stripped, no doubt. All of the 5-bar plate was gone from the wings, bonnet and rear section, and had been blasted separately and sent off for powder coating. The aluminium of the body gleamed in most places, though in a few the dark mottling of corrosion stripped by the blasters was evident.

No lights, mirrors or insignia were evident - anything that could restrict the painting had been removed and was being treated separately. Doors and bonnet were off and hinges and mounts off the panels for the same treatment as the 5-bar plates - sandlasting and powder coating. At the moment, Clara looked like a model kit assembled by a particularly inept toddler.

“What did we uncover? Have you surveyed the exterior yet?”

“Yep. Have. Most of her is really good – she looks to have spent most of her life either under cover or in desert conditions, from the looks.

Left wing is SHOT. She got hit hard way back when and whoever did the bodywork just hammered it out and slapped plastic on it. The radiator surround is bad as well – helluva mess. Damn thing has a half-dozen riveted repairs – obviously patched and then they never replaced it. Hadda be the MOD – Al would have had kittens if he’d ‘a found it. There's no way we can repair it without extensive TIG work - and that cracked aluminium is not going to take it well.”

“What are we gonna do about it? Can Runnymeade get us the parts?” McAdams did NOT want to have to do panel-bashing on aluminium – especially old aluminium. That stuff would stress crack as soon as straighten, and then you’re done – it’s irreparable.

Juan grinned. “No, but Al will. He maintains parts stocks – and secondhand wing panels and a radiator support are right across the highway. I’ve called Ari this morning, and we’re going to send someone to get them. We’ll order spares via Runnymeade, and replace ‘em in his stock slick as deer guts on a doorknob.”

“Really? You been to West Virginia again? Stop that!”

“So how’s the rest of it?”

“Not as bad as it could be. Floors need painting in the cab, and the back of course needs to be prepped and painted in MOD Puke Green.”

“That an official parts designation is it? So, what else.”

Juan’s face sobered. "We have a BIG problem at the back – the rear crossmember’s corroded. Welders can fix it and the rear chassis rails, but there’s a half-day of work back there, maybe more. Thank you Minnesota Winters, ‘cause it looks like Clara was Al’s go-to for rough weather travel.”

McAdams sighed. “What about patch panels?”

Juan laughed. “Simple. CAD – Cardboard Aided Design. We mock ‘em up in Bristol board, shear ‘em out and weld it in. Never know it’s there, and we flood it with paint to coat the interior when we’re done. That will still be good 20 years from now.”

“Where else we got corrosion?” McAdams knew that where there was some, there invariably was more.

Juan did not disappoint. “One footwell – simple repair once we get the mats out. These things are big Tinker Toys – all straight lines and seams. Cut it out, re-weld, grind and paint.”

“This should be the worst of our problems…”

“From your mouth to God’s ear.” With that, they turned back and began to speak of next steps.
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
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