Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

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Just Old Al
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

Steak trtare...yum. No matter ground or not - but it has to be GOOD beef.

As sarge says - bring it back up to body temperature...I'm good.
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Sgt. Howard »

At most, blanch it to remove the possibility of E-coli contamination (assuming intact beef- ground becomes problematic unless you grind it after you blanch it)
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by GlytchMeister »

Sgt. Howard wrote:... and I was quoting Fleur Delacour's response to that situation...
:shock:

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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Dave »

Sgt. Howard wrote:
Dave wrote:Two words: Taenia saginata
One word: asymptomatic
One other word: "usually".
Wikipedia wrote:T. saginata infection is usually asymptomatic, but heavy infection often results in weight loss, dizziness, abdominal pain, diarrhea, headaches, nausea, constipation, chronic indigestion, and loss of appetite. Intestinal obstruction in humans can be alleviated by surgery. The tapeworm can also expel antigens that can cause an allergic reaction in the individual. It is an also rare cause of ileus, pancreatitis, cholecystitis, and cholangitis
And a good time was had by all.

Sticking beef in a deep freezer for 10 days seems to be adequate to kill the cysts of both Taenta, and Toxoplasma. If you're into eating beef tartare or bloody-rare steak, prepping the meat by freezing it for a week or two might be prudent... especially if you're a woman who might be pregnant or might become so. The same goes with sushi, for similar reasons.

Since Dixie's meatpucks are being frozen to dry-ice temperatures, I doubt she's in any danger (if sphinx hybrids are even susceptible, that is).
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by GlytchMeister »

Sphinx breeds true in females (like David Eddings' Dryads) and is recessive in males. So Dixie is 50% baby, 50% flying chainsaw, and 100% Sphinx.

I would also doubt sphinxes are bothered much by tapeworms. They eat raw meat all the time. I expect they have mechanisms that are finely tuned to keep their gut fauna well-taken care of and to annihilate anything detrimental to them.
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by DinkyInky »

Dave wrote:
DinkyInky wrote:I enjoy a rare steak on occasion...very rarely though. Stupid anaemia.
*ahem*

(slides Pun Jar down the bar towards DinkyInky)
What? My iron drops to nine so infrequently, that if I grin while walking past the meat department, my son calls a "Huge, Ginormous Emergency!" It's hit me hard this past couple of weeks. I'm sure he's sick of eating beef...I know I am, and I gotta keep doing it until it normalises.

I hate the fatigue, I hate the nausea and dizziness, I hate salivating at coppery scented air as I go near the meat coffins at the grocers.

And no, my son does not eat rare, nor do I subject him to rare meat. I hate that I want to eat it like that. He just knows that if I find raw meat tasty smelling, I have an issue.

My preference during anaemia bouts is kiszka, but it's so hard to find good Polska Kiszka these days..
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by lake_wrangler »

Well, Sarge, that was yet another brilliant episode in this saga. I'm glad to see that you changed the second paragraph, since I first read it... (Would calling Mori "Ari" be mis-characterization, or downright character assassination? :P )

I have to admit, though: I hope someone goes and petitions the Library to make it so that the sisters would only go catatonic if they attempted (or plotted) to hurt anyone linked to Phix et al, rather than merely seeing such a one... I realize they deserved their punishment, but isn't that a little much?

By the way, do you think they can ever be redeemed, the way Ari was? Would this job be a good start, for them?
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by jwhouk »

....Mmmmmmaaaayyyybe.
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

Speaking of Sphinx tartare... :evil: :evil: :evil:

You like that - just wait...more hijinks are to be had.
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Sgt. Howard »

Greg stepped outside and dialed a well- remembered number from his days driving 18 wheeler-
Dial tone-
Connect-
"... yea, do you still have some tramp runners out of Minnesota?... I have 4,000 pounds of frozen beef patties that needs to get to ... Jerry? Jerry is that you?... Greg Howard... HOWARD.... "MAD DOG HOWARD", you old pirate!... naw, not so far, but there's been some decent recent attempts- you read about the brough-ha-ha at Pillsbury Mills? I was in the middle of that... what can I say? They were nothing but amateurs... maybe someday, but not today- hey, how come they haven't fired you?... heh... likely story... yea, OK- You know the old Schweis Family meat house, right? I need this shipment to go to the Alexander Estate at Lake Independance... yea, THAT Alexander... right... 4,000 pounds... frozen... good, I will be here. Tell Buster he's still an asshole, and give my regards to Micky- Later-"
And with that he ended the call- turning to Jame Schweis and Garcia, he mentioned,
"There's a truck coming here towing a 54 footer with double fridge units on board- should be here in forty minutes. About those sisters- get some Justin Beiber CDs- something about his music snaps them out of it quickly... not sure why, but there it is- now if you'll excuse me, I need to call a very excitable ex-Sgt. Major and inform him of this oncoming stampede,"
And drawing a deep breath, he dialed another number...
Last edited by Sgt. Howard on Fri Mar 25, 2016 12:38 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by FreeFlier »

:lol: :lol:

Now if you'd said an irritable sergeant-major, I would have asked if there's another kind.

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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by lake_wrangler »

[nitpick]One who doesn't know what they're doing is called an amateur...
(That comes from French, you know... ;) )

Also, after one is done talking with someone else on the phone, one typically ends the call, not the cal...
[/nitpick]

I mention it, because I care... You guys are writing great stuff, and even the smallest updates can fill in to create a well rounded whole...
Last edited by lake_wrangler on Fri Mar 25, 2016 3:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by GlytchMeister »

Phoen?

Sorry, couldn't resist.
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

And on the oher end of the phone...

“SWEET LORD AND LADY!”


Daisy heard the bellow halfway across the house. Al had spent most of his morning sequestered in his office, but he wasn’t working from what Daisy could hear from the other side of the door. He never worked to classical music, and Vivaldi was definitely not on his engineering playlist.

With that bellow, she headed for his office, knocked and walked in.

“Why in the name of all the Gods did I send you to do this job? One job – just ONE job – pick up 400 meat birds and put them in the cryo tank at building 2. ONE. WRETCHED. JOB. JUST ONE.

YOU…have to come back with an artic full of hamburgers! What am I supposed to do with those?!”

Al, pacing the office and dodging the furniture, listened as the squawking on the phone answered his question.

“I doubt they’ll fit…and you wouldn’t be the first to make that suggestion.”

The phone squawked again, longer this time.

“Okay, Okay. So we have a refrigerated artic headed for RE with – GODS! 400 CASES of meat birds?! Why are we now getting 400 cases?
I see. No, I understand and concur. Makes a twisted bit of logic," Al said, calming himself, then asked, "and just WHAT is this costing me?”

More squawking.

Al put his face in his hand and slowly drew his hand down, visibly composing himself.

“Well, there goes the profit on this job…not that there ever was one. Hades, I can afford it. I still have no idea what we’re going to do with them.”
“I’ll see you out at 2. Yes, 2 - don't bring them all out here - we have no way to power that trailer out here. When is the lorry going to get there?...OK.”

With a click, Al hung up his phone to come face to face with a furious centaur dam.

“Now, Daisy, dear…”

“Don’t you “Daisy, dear” me you miserable useless lying excuse for a human being! You said you were going to rest and now I hear “I’ll meet you at 2…” LIAR! I am TIRED of this!”

“ENOUGH!”

Daisy stopped in her tracks. Well, THAT was one way to punctuate a sentence…why were her ears ringing?

“That’s better. That reprobate redneck bought into a botched order from the meat packer – instead of 400 meat birds for Dixie he got 16,000 of them – to wit, 400 CASES of them at 40 birds each.

You and I are going to start working the phones – we have to get rid of these things. Get hold of your children – we need to figure out where these can go.”

“OK. See your point.” Daisy’s ears were still ringing, but her brain stem was functioning again – and the rest jumpstarted itself back on-line as she spoke.

She grinned, a slow, devious smile. “Want to have a barbecue?”

Al stared at her, seriously questioning her sanity. “Dear, we could have the family over every night for five years on this quantity of meat.”

“Not US, you moron – AHI!”

Al joined her in the smile. “You’re a genius.”

Daisy pulled out her phone and called Buck. “Buck, this is Momma. How would you feel about a company picnic at Chesnut Park Friday afternoon? Sliders – prime beef sliders…courtesy of Richer Engineering. We buy the rolls and condiments, RE’s paying for the burgers.”

“Al had the idea – it’s a sheer “Thank You” for all the support that AHI gives RE.”

“What do you MEAN “MINOTAUR SHIT!” Would I lie to you?"

“OK, you got me. Here’s what happened.” With that, Daisy launched into the story as she knew it.

Smart, decisive, beautiful…what was he THINKING walking away from that? Al shook his head thinking Focus – lust later burgers now.

Daisy hung up. “We’re on for Friday afternoon. That will soak up some of them, but not all. Our people will eat but nowhere near that quantity. We need to lose 2/3 of these things.”

Al snapped his fingers. “There are a lot of hungry people in this town – and places that feed them. Schools, food banks, shelters…lots of places that could use this stuff. Get hold of Rowdy – I know he’s running your charitable foundation. His people will have lists of places.

Let’s work the phones – 10 cases each, more depending on the response. Lots of folks can have good meals on this stuff.”

Al stopped, walked over to Daisy, and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry I yelled, love…”

She spoke softly as well. “Sorry I didn’t listen. It’s been hard… I don’t want to lose you. When you tried to leave..something died in me. Don’t do that to me again, please. Talk to me.” She started to cry quietly, tears dripping from the corners of her eyes. Al held her tightly till the shuddering stopped.

“I know. My fault. We’ll get through this.”

With that, Al put his hands on her shoulders, looked into her lovely hazel eyes and brightly said “Ready to give away some hamburgers?”

“Let’s go!”
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by FreeFlier »

:lol: :lol: :lol:

One bit of math, though . . . at 8 "birds" per session, 400 birds is 50 sessions . . . and do you really think little Dixie will be satisfied with only eight chases per day?

And that's ignoring lost birds.

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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

Simple answer to that is reordering.

More complex answer is that this thing is a bleedin' prototype. They designed for a specific set of conditions, which may or may not apply in real-world operation. Al figured that ordering short was the easiest thing to avoid waste. It's not like cows are becoming obsolete, so more meat birds are a phone call away (and we will forever more get VERY good service from Schweis!) - and higher quantities easily available once the kinks are worked out of this thing.

Or as Dave says she might want some variety - moose and squirrel, perhaps.

EDIT: Forgot the last bits - lost birds will not be a problem - even if she doesn't snag 'em in midair she'll get them. We're dealing with a baby here - she's going to tire fairly easily, and her tummy's not that big. Sarge and Al figure 4-8 tosses for a session, and Mama controls the number of sessions. We don't want her to decide she only wants flying food - the meat birds aren't a balanced diet though they could be modified to be more so. That's Phix's call - the RE squad have NO idea what is nutritionally balanced for a flying chainsaw. They figure that these things are the Sphinx equivalent of a Hershey bar.
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by lake_wrangler »

GlytchMeister wrote:Phoen?

Sorry, couldn't resist.
I... don't know what you're talking about... :roll:


Although I may have heard of a rule, somewhere, whereby a post made to correct the grammar or spelling of another post will inevitably contain one or more error of its own...
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Dave »

lake_wrangler wrote:Although I may have heard of a rule, somewhere, whereby a post made to correct the grammar or spelling of another post will inevitably contain one or more error of its own...
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/skitt-s-law (dates to 1999). Also mentions Bell's First Law of USENET, which dates back as far as 1990.
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

Aaaaaaannnnddd...back to the story. Thanks to the usual suspects for the dialogue work...

Creaking, juddering, rumbling, the mechanism for what was forever known as The Great Beef Giveaway swung into motion. Daisy, phone pressed to her ear, spoke to her minor son in his offices.

“Rowdy, this is Momma. Get with your staff and come up with a list of organizations that could use bulk beef in say hundred-pound quantities or more – and find us a lot of them.’

Squawking, then a question.

““What the hell did Al do now?” How do you know it was him?”

Raucous laughter - and a very declaratrive statement.

“Well, yes, things like this didn’t happen before, but you have to admit it’s exciting!”

On his cell phone Al talked to his staff at RE.

“Wing, get with the lads. I’m going to need a 220 power line strung out the door – we’re going to have to power a freezer trailer for a few days. Warn the security on the Chesnut Lane gate that this guy’s on the way in and make sure they let him through – there’s 2 tons – yes, tons – of beef in that thing.”

"TWO TONS of beef? What are we going to do with TWO TONS of beef? We don't have room in the cryo store for it all - that's got to be a huge stack of boxes!"

"Hey, you want a case of prime sliders? Not a problem. John and Smokey, too. We have 380 cases of these things to get rid of. 20 of them need to go into the back shop into cryo. It was going to be ten, but ...hey, we've got them..might as well set extra aside.”

A muffled “whaaaaaa?” came from the phone.

“Look, it’s a very, VERY long story involving an inept redneck and a botched order. Yes, Sarge is involved….Yes, I know, “It figures.”? Just get ready – we have a ground herd of cattle coming through the gate and people coming to get it soon.”

“Oh – one more thing. Make me up a template donation letter we can fill out on the go – we’re going to want signatures for some of the folks picking this up. Why? Tax deduction, my lass…tax deduction. Call Mort for the text.”

Daisy looked over at Al – not too dumb for a two-legs. He was right – this was good for a few bucks in tax deductions. It would help cut the loss, at least.

Rowdy, briefed on the situation, soon had his office staff calling charities and food banks.

“Rowdy, we’re going over to 2. When you get a list of folks coming over to pick these things up email it to Al’s email address, or bring it along when you show up. Tell the people to come to the Chesnut St. gate and they can load up right there from the trailer.

Love you too, sweetie.”

Soon after, Daisy and Al left for Building 2. There they were joined at 2 by Al’s staff, Constance and Melissa from Buck’s staff along with Rowdy and two of his staff.

Al gathered them together on the floor inside RE.

“Folks, thank you all for helping out. That trailer out there contains 4,000 pounds of prime beef burgers in 4-ounce patties. The charities you all contacted will start rolling in here in a few minutes, and we’re going to give them the beef.

This serves several purposes. First and foremost, it gets it the Hades out of my way. I have no desire to be consuming beef burgers for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next twenty years.”

The crowd chuckled.

“Second, it gets a lot of good food into the hands of people who can distribute it to people who can use it. Really, that’s the most important one here – I have no use for these things and I’d rather see them feeding people than going into a landfill. Killing to no purpose is simply wrong and evil.

Third, if we can snag me a charitable donation form or two along the way for me to give to my accountant, so much the better. However, NONE of the donations predicate on this – we don’t care if they do or don’t as far as the donation goes. The food in the right hands is the most important thing and really the only thing - tax considerations are secondary.”

A clattering Diesel pulled up outside.

"ANNNND…unless I miss my guess the man who just pulled up outside is the person who did this to us – er, provided this bounty. Let’s have a rousing Bronx cheer for…Greeeeeg Howwwwward!”
Sarge walked in the door to be met by a disconcerting chorus of people thumbing their noses and blowing raspberries at him. True to his nature he displayed only a momentary widening of the eyes as surprise, then doffed his cap as he bowed low. "Thank you, thank you, I thank you, my Mother thanks you, My Father thanks you and my thank you thanks you... I think... no, really, don't applaud... just throw money..." he said, straightening and enjoying the gales of laughter his reaction provoked.

Walking over to Al, he said, “I see the trailer got here – notice we have power out to it as well. Good. You figure out what the hell to do with these things yet?”

“Yes. A third of them or thereabouts are being kept for a burger bash for AHI. The rest…well, we have a list of charities, food banks and such who we’ve contacted. We’ve so far accounted for most of the remainder – and we’re putting 20 or more cases into cryo in the back shop for Phix and future use. From what you told me on the phone about the quality Phix herself might enjoy these.”

“Sounds good. I’m sorry, Al – if we hadn’t taken them we’d have broken the packing plant – we did get a good deal on them though.”

“Greg, I understand and concur in your actions - you did the right thing. Next time you get tempted to take a good deal like this…DON’T. Do this again and I will have a reason to shoot you…don’t do that.”

“Now look here you pudgy sawed-off excuse for Lord Nelson, I will have you know…”

“Hold that thought – we have work to do. Kill the Brit later – we have burger to shovel.”
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
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Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

Sarge sprawled on the floor,comfortably ensconced on the removed rear seat of a Range Rover. Around him on the floor, various cast-off seats, bumpers of trucks and other horizontal surfaces supported the posteriors of the the other beef purveyors.

Unanimously the common thread was exhaustion. Shoveling hundreds of cases of burgers through the doors of a refrigerated trailer into cars and trucks was exhausting, especially for people unused in the main to physical labour.

Daisy sipped from a can of seltzer and looked over the team. Their hands were scuffed and dirty, people sported cuts, bruises, dusty clothing and a sense of exhaustion. With this came a serious sense of accomplishment.

In the past few hours a truckload of beef had been emptied. Truck after truck from charities, food banks, schools and others had come empty and gone away with loads of boxes.

Al, clad in his battered flight suit, stirred from the Haliburton case he was sitting on and wandered over to Ari. She sat against the wall, dusty and tired, her coveralls streaked with dirt.

"What did we end up with for totals? I don't think I have ever seen that many boxes moved that quickly."

Ari picked up her clipboard and riffled through the pages. Scribbling a few numbers on the back of a sheet, then a few more, she put her clipboard down with a satisfied air. "We did well. Not counting the cases we put in cryo for Aeternia we got rid of a little over 70% of the patties. We still have plenty for the picnic on Friday if we keep Smokey away from the piles of burgers" she smiled and blew kisses at the angrily sputtering mechanic "we will be just fine. After Friday we can get rid of the trailer and be done with this mess."

Al's face broke out in a tired smile. "Good Show."

He turned to the people spread over the floor of RE's main bay, and started to clap, first slowly, then faster. Stopping, he spoke so all could hear.

"Bravo. Bravo, and thanks to each and every one of you. I have never seen a team work together as you all have, given the hurried nature with which this was put together.

More the point I want to thank each and every one of you personally. I know that this is not your job and that you all got pulled into this involuntarily. Should there ever be anything that I can do for anyone now or in the future please do not hesitate to ask. "

"Thank you."

"How about a raise, eh?" came a voice from the back where a grinning John sat.

"I don't like you that much. Next question." The people sprawled on the floor laughed tiredly, and on that note began to rise and file out.

Sarge came over to Al and held his hand out. Al took it and they shook.

"Damn nice bit of charity, there, Al. You could have tried to sell them - that was some prime beef and they would have easily gone to restaurants or drive-ins."

"Not worth the effort, really. When you get a chance to do something good for people even if it is because of the misguided charity of your partner" he stopped to glare at Greg, who stood it completely unpeturbed "then you do it. Those will do a lot of people a lot of good."

With a feigned air of nonchalnce Sarge asked, "How are you doing, old toff?"

"Well as can be expected. Hopefully tonight won't be too rough, but I'm not expecting it. I think I'm going to do the world a favor and stay up till after Daisy goes to bed, then go sleep in the great room on the couch or some such."

Greg reddened slightly, and his words were measured. "And if you did that you would be sending the exact wrong message to your dam. She loves you, and she took you "for better, for worse, in good times and bad...". Don't "spare" her, don't shut her out. Let her be part of your life no matter what it is.

Don't be a damn fool - she deserves all of you, not just the parts you choose to share."

Al stopped, mind warring between a fatigue-driven angry retort and a measured response. "You know, I really hate you when you're right. Then what the hell can I do to protect her from the worst of this?"

"Nothing. If she can't deal she has the common sense to tell you and you can work it out. Till then...just give her all of you, as you should.

Neither one of you are kids - both of you realize what the world is, and that as you live you get scars from it. She doesn't deserve to be pushed away because of your scars - had that been the case then you never should have married her."

"Thank you Doctor Redneck." Al said, a trifle disgustedly. "So, I put her through hell in the name of togetherness?"

"No, you don't go hide in a corner because she wants to help - and that's what husband and wife is all about. If the cost to her is holding you as you cry, would you do the same for her?"

"I did today. We have some healing to do after yesterday's stupidities."

"Then so be it."

With that, they parted - Al to the car and his dam and home, Sarge to Miss Clara and the Alexander place, then home.
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
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