Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Moderators: Bookworm, starkruzr, MrFireDragon, PrettyPrincess, Wapsi

User avatar
Just Old Al
Posts: 1683
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:43 am
Location: Wilderness of Massachusetts
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

The morning dawned clear and sunny – perfect weather for the test.

Al awoke early – his sleep had been intermittent at best with worries about the test and Aeternia’s reaction to the launcher. Daisy’s, in consequence, had been no better – she’d been more than aware of the issues, and had finally wrapped her arms around him and soothed him to sleep with her presence.

Showered and dressed in his khakis, he wandered down to the kitchen leaving Daisy to work her way through her own morning rituals. The smell of coffee attracted him, and wandering into the kitchen he found Greg perched at the counter with a steaming mug.

“And good morning to you, too. What are you doing here at this ungodly hour bothering my domestic staff?” Rosalita laughed and asked “And what will Senor Al have for breakfast this morning?”

“Just coffee, dear. I’ll be fine.”

“I can’t allow that. Senora Daisy told me that you are to eat.”

Al sighed – the world was conspiring to treat him like an invalid. He was fine.” Thank you dear, but I will be fine. If you insist I’ll have an egg and a bit of toast with some butter. Thank you.”

Not pleased but somewhat mollified, she turned to the stove and began preparations.

“Greg, can I offer you some breakfast? As you know this dear lady is a goddess in the kitchen – and a breakfast made by her will sustain a man through anything.”

“I will if you will.” Greg was more than aware of his partner’s issues and was not in the mood to coddle him this morning.

“I’m fine with what I asked for – been to the trough too much lately.”

“Al, EAT. We have time and then some –Phix is not going to come by with Dixie till we call her, and we won’t see Glytch for a while in any case. Rosalita, could we have two plates of eggs and bacon, sausage or whatever you have with whole wheat toast and butter, please?”

“Certainly, Senor Gregorio. Coming right up.” With that she whirled into the larder for the supplies, and started cooking.

“That was unnecessary.”

“Obviously it was. Get a cup of coffee and we can discuss the tests. You’ll want it when it’s set in front of you – you need to relax. The launcher is fine, the cub will take to it, and we have a market opportunity here we will make serious money off. Now sit down and stop twitching.”

With scarcely concealed ill grace Al drew coffee and sat. Gradually the talk relaxed, and the old camaraderie again reasserted itself.

Soon, breakfast was ready and the men ate – Greg heartily, Al less so but adequately. Breakfast over, they snagged a half-case of the meat birds and put them in the ambulance’s Peltier cooler, then drove it out to the test area.

“Perfect day for this – the wind is nearly calm and the sun is bright – so the meat birds will be visible.

Did you bring your gauntlets?”

“Yes, I did. Also brought a welding jacket – heavy leather. I am going to get you for this.”

“You shouldn’t have joined up if you couldn’t take a joke.” The old military truism, so familiar to them both, made Greg laugh, and he realized the truth of it.

“Uh-oh. Al, code red – invasion imminent.”

Wandering across the field seemingly at random was Castela.

“Bloody wonderful. I really need to be beaten up again. I’ll be right back.” Al walked toward the child, intercepting her before she got to the test area.

Al dropped to one knee, giving his granddaughter a hug and receiving one in return. “Castela, sweetie, you can’t be here today.”

“Why not, Grampa? I promise ta be-behave.”

Al sighed. “Sweetie, you didn’t behave very well the last time, and this time Tanta Phix is going to have her cub here – and we need to teach the cub things. This is going to be hard work, and I love you but I can’t have you distracting us.”

“Bu-but I promise, Gram-grampa! I’ll be good, an’ stay out of the way an-“

“Castela, no. Sweetie, not today. I love you, but this can’t happen. You need to go home now.”

“Okay, Grampa..I’ll go home now.” Castela said, eyes bright with unshed tears. With that, she turned and trudged away, occasionally looking over her shoulder.

Feeling like the worst possible monster Al returned to the test site, where Greg had set up the launcher and run the self-tests on it.

“We’re all set up. How did it go with Castela?”

“If anything, I feel worse than I did when I got up this morning. Let’s get these tests over with and done so Phix can entertain her offspring and I can go somewhere and hide.”

Greg remained silent. There was simply nothing to be said to that level of bitterness.

“I’ll be back in a minute – need to grab my phone and tell Katherine her offspring is on her way home and take my abuse for making her cry.”

With that, Al went back to the cab of the ambulance and sat down. Greg looked around, wondering not for the first time where Glytch was.

As if summoned by the thought, there was a VORP behind Greg, and he turned to see Glytch standing a few feet behind.

Greg was shocked. Normally cheerful and full of life even when half awake, the young man’s stance and demeanor spoke of exhaustion and the ragged limits of control..

Glytch arrived for the test carrying a half-empty two-liter bottle of Mountain Dew. Greg raised an eyebrow at the beverage, and at his splinted and bandaged hand. "What happened? And why Mountain Dew?"

"I broke it. And I need the extra caffeine." Glytch's reply was curt and slightly hoarse, but otherwise emotionless as he fished in his pocket and pulled out two 5-hour energy shots, downing both and chasing them with a swig from the two-liter.

Now Greg's other eyebrow went up. "Didn't sleep well?"

"Haven't slept for about three days." Glytch put down his Bag of Tricks and pulled out two professionally-made ergonomic controllers; one for humans and one for sphinxes. Both were made from amorphous titanium reinforced with carbon nanotubes. There wasn't a single sharp or hard edge to be found on them. The buttons, joysticks, and sliders were made from a carbon nanotube denim weave on the outside - flexible enough for buttons, but tough enough for Sphinx teeth.

"That's... Very nice. How are they powered?"

"Piezoelectric layer under the buttons. This way, if Aeternia decides to try to use these for teething, they won't get destroyed. I shot them both out of a railgun last night... Or was it this morning... at Mach 5. The concrete blocks were pretty much vaporized, but the controllers are fine." Glytch took another long swig of soda, and Sarge caught a glimpse of his sunken, haunted-looking eyes and the dark bags under both.

"Are you ok?"

"I'm good enough. I also finished the dampening algorithms for Legion, successfully converted Dark Energy into gamma radiation, re-wrote the targeting programming for the anti-missile DEMP configuration, reduced the weight of the satellite DEMP by three percent, made some improvements to my own tech network with help from Al, installed a new air intake on the Pontiac, and I repaired a stud in my house and fixed a hole in the drywall after shattering both with my hand after a nightmare. The nightmare came first. That's why I haven't slept. Oh, I also discovered how to make amorphous titanium with carbon nanotubes like Damascus steel. That's what the controllers are encased in."

Greg, shocked at the litany, thought to himself that any organization that had him as the most-stable member certainly was in trouble.

He hoped the tests went well…because if they didn’t…the results might be messy.
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
User avatar
Just Old Al
Posts: 1683
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:43 am
Location: Wilderness of Massachusetts
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

Al came back around the ambulance, muttering to himself, and stopped, shocked by Glytch’s appearance.

“What in Hades happened to you?”

“Nightmare. Punched a hole in a stud and drywall in my house.”

“And when did this happen?”

“About an hour after I left here three days ago.” Glytch grinned, very wearily. “I did get the controllers done that you asked for, though.” He lifted one to show its operation, only to be shocked by Al turning away.

“More damage. More pain. It never stops. It never ends. No, this needs to stop.”

Glytch realized what happened. Al had decided this was on his karma, and the cycle was starting again. He’d seen enough, and that was the end of it.

Glytch, too, had had enough. It wasn’t Al’s fault if he had…history… and no amount of self-flagellation was going to either cure the old man’s guilt or his hand – or his anger, for that matter.

"You. Will. Not. Blame. Yourself."

Al glowered at Glytch and swelled his chest, preparing his military voice, but Glytch had other ideas. In three long, powerful strides, he was face-to-face with the old man, who, to his credit, didn't budge. "You are not my father." Glytch whispered, his voice belying the tempest within. "The last time I had a family, I had to escape it to preserve my sanity. I come here, I find a new family. But the old memories are still there. I've only just begun to scab those wounds. That, I think, is why I questioned you."

Al took in a breath to answer, but Glytch cut him off before he could speak.

"If anyone is to blame, it is my father and I. Your behavior, though somewhat unacceptable, was understandable. My present condition is not a result of that. It is a result of wounds I reopened through my own actions. You. Will not. Blame. Yourself."

Al's expression was a confused mixture of pity, remorse, and outrage. Glytch continued to whisper.

"Have I made myself absolutely clear?"

Al stared at Glytch, then pulled out his phone. "I think you need to see a fr-"

Glytch gently grabbed Al's wrist. "No."

"What?"

"I said no. This is mine." Glytch stepped back, showing a small but reassuring smile. "Trust me, I'll be fine. Let's get on with the test, shall we?"
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
User avatar
Just Old Al
Posts: 1683
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:43 am
Location: Wilderness of Massachusetts
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

"Let’s then. The day is passing us by. Have we verified the function of the new controllers against the current control box?’

“No. Haven’t had a chance.”

“Very good. Then let’s do that while I call Madame and get her to come out with her cub.” Al pulled out his phone, and said “Phix.”

“Madame Phix, we’re set up out here – same place we were before. Can we have the pleasure of your company and your cub’s?”

“Certainly – if you can call dealing with this little monster a pleasure. We’ll be there in a few minutes.”


“See you then.”

The intervening time passed in silence. Glytch and Greg synchronized the new controllers with the control unit on the Launcher – firing several of the wooden test disks and testing the various modes.

Al simply stared off into the distance, observing but not involved. His thoughts were his own, and not being shared.

Soon, Phix and her cub, in human form for the moment, trudged across the field to get to the launcher site. With them, unexpectedly, was Neil, dressed casually in jeans, a work shirt and hunting boots.

With the sight of the couple and their cub Greg gustily breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God she brought Neil with her – this way he can handle Dixie while she demonstrates the idea. Not that I can’t deal with kids, but I wasn’t looking forward to that.”

“Are we ready?” Al acted as though he hadn’t heard.

“Yes, we are.”

"Madame Phix, General, thank you for coming. Glytch, would you walk Madame Phix and the General through a quick tutorial on the new controllers, please?”

“Glytch, what happened to you?” Phix was concerned, Neil scarcely less so.

“Had an accident at home – nothing to be concerned about. I’ll be fine in a month or two.” With that Glytch gave the couple a walk-through of the new design, and the purpose of the controls on both the human and Sphinx-sized controllers.

“Very nice design. I’m impressed.” Neil, who’d seen nothing of the Launcher development, was thoroughly impressed at the work and the technology put into what after all was a child’s toy.

“Very good. Madame, would you change over? How do you want to approach this?”

Phix noted the formality in his voice, and thought to say something, but decided to work the demonstration first. Personal items – and there were some – could be dealt with then.

It was a matter of a moment for Phix to become her magnificent feral self, and even less time for Neil to remove Dixie’s amulet. After this, Phix answered the question.

“I was thinking the old way – “See one – do one – teach one” might be the best. With Neil here he can get her to watch. You fire one, I pursue it, and then I come down and share it with her. Next pass I take her with me. Third pass is hers. Might take a few iterations, but she’s not at all stupid and will figure it right out.”

“Quite right. She’s a bright child – this should not be an issue whatsoever. Neil, would you bring Aeternia over and make sure she’s watching her mother? Thank you. Madame, are you ready?”

“PULL!”

THOCK! Off went the meat bird, and Phix after it, her claws leaving furrows as she scrabbled for purchase on the loose dirt, Swinging high, she dove on the target, catching it easily and returning. She broke the frozen puck in two, popping one half in her mouth and giving the other to Aeternia, who gnawed it eagerly.

“VERY nice beef, Al. I am quite impressed.”

“No thanks to me, I’m afraid. Greg obtained these for you. I suggest you thank him. There are 800 of these - twenty boxes- in cryo storage at RE for you, so a good supply for the time being. We also have a good arrangement with the packing house that manufactured them, so there is no problem getting more of the same quality when you desire them. Have a few yourself – if you feel the need for changes please let us know and that can be done once the initial supply has been run out.”

The cub, having finished her snack, wanted more. Phix took the squirming bundle in her arms, lined up again, and yelled “PULL!”

THOCK! Off went the target, and mother and daughter easily swooped in on the target and caught it well before it hit the ground. Passing it to her daughter, Phix circled back to the ground, the cub gnawing away noisily and energetically. Soon the target was gone, and Dixie showed marked eagerness for another.

“We’re going to try something, When I get ready I’ll shout “PULL!” Fire as you always do.”

“As you wish, madame. “

Phix stood with Dixie in her hands, a squirming, eager bundle. When she shouted “PULL!” she threw the cub into the air toward the target shouting “GO GET IT!” The words were hardly necessary – Dixie homed in on the target like a hawk and snagged it out of the air, circling back to the launch point. Settling next to her mother, she gnawed the prize, utterly content for the moment.

The next half-hour involved Dixie lining up at the starting line, then her mother shouting “PULL!” and the meat bird flying as she pushed the button. The creators of the Launcher simply sat back and watched, looking for awkwardness in the operation or loading.

Neil, too, simply observed in between brief stints at the loading hopper and tearing the wrappers off the targets – instruction on its care and feeding being given by Greg.

Finally, tummy full, the cub sprawled in the grass and napped, utterly content in the sunshine.

“WELL! Gentlemen, this is an absolute success. The combination of exercise and good food seems to have done the trick – I’ve never seen her this relaxed and content. Thank you.”

“Very good. Will Madame be leaving the machine here, or do you want to take it along? I am unsure what facilities you have in the Library realm for this distance and height – certainly not indoors.”

“Actually, Al, we do have such spaces – some time you need to come and explore the Library properly. This will be a very welcome addition to Aeternia’s toy chest – and it will do nothing but enhance her hunting skills. Again, I thank all of you for the stunning piece of work you’ve done here.”

“Do you have access to compressed air? I know electricity of the proper voltage is not an issue, but compressed air is not always accessible. If necessary, we can provide a compressor.”

“Not an issue – there is a maintenance staff, and I’m sure compressed air won’t be hard to come by.”

With that, Greg demonstrated the teardown and cleaning procedures for the happy couple, while Dixie continued to nap comfortably in the grass. Al sat, watching Dixie, hand on her flank feeling her purr but enmeshed in his own thoughts.

“Greg, what’s with him? I know he’s likely irritated with me over the Castela thing, but he acted like I was an honored guest – exquisite manners, but not a shred of humor. He acted like I was a valued customer, no more.” Phix whispered as they stripped the Launcher for cleaning. She and Neil leaned in to catch Greg’s answer.

“He’s been like that since he tried to leave.”

“LEAVE?”

“Oh. Thought you knew. He tried to leave after Katherine ripped a strip off him the other day. Felt like he didn’t belong here, never had and that it was all his fault. Daisy and Kat stopped him, but right now he’s so burned out that no one’s approaching the subject.

Daisy’s told him he’s taking a vacation – he’s working out the details now. He’s just too damn tired – and he’s not thinking clearly. That explains the manners – he’s furious but he doesn’t trust himself to express it.”

“What about the other one?” Phix tilted her head toward Glytch, standing to the side and staring out over the fields in the sunshine.

“No real idea. Hurt himself, hasn’t slept in days – lots going on there between him and Al but nothing I know about. None of it good.”

“Gods. Anything we can do?” Neil asked.
“Not that I can tell. One needs time to heal, and the other is hurting…badly. Not sure what can be done in either case. I’m just the lucky one stuck with the both of them.”

“If you need us you know where we are.”

“Thanks – that’s appreciated.”

Al walked over, having seen the machine broken down. “Now that you’ve seen it in action, please let us put it in a Haliburton case for transport back at RE. Also, you’ll need to make arrangements to claim some number of cartons of the targets for Aeternia. The rest can remain in RE’s cryo store – they’re good there for a long time at the temperatures maintained.

Is there anything else we can do for you?”

“Nothing at all. As we said before, you all have our sincerest congratulations on a wonderful piece of work.”

Phix hesitated – then said “Al, can I speak with you a minute?”

“Certainly, please step into my office.” he said, indicating the cab of the truck.

“First off, what do we owe you for this? It wasn’t cheap, I know, not to mention the beef in storage for us.”

“I will have an itemized statement made out for you – the costs are not what you think they are. Materials, little more – I will have difficulty trying to remunerate the Sergeant and Glytch, and I have no need for such given the services you have provided to me and my family in the past. We still owe far more than we will ever be able to repay.”

“Look, Al, about earlier in the week-“

Al held up a hand, and his eyes blazed. “Please speak no more of it. I have no need to review my stupidities, and you have no need to apologize for quite correct behavior. Say no more. Thank you.”

With that Phix gave up. A time would come when she could apologize – now was not it, it seemed.

Phix carefully picked up the still-sleeping cub from the grass and handed her gently to Neil. She squirmed a bit in her father's arms, but remained asleep.

As the pair walked toward the estate buildings with Greg, Al, and Glytch, Aeternia's purring was interrupted briefly.

"PUWW!" came from her lips, then a strange gurgling noise - and then a happy purr as she selttled back to sleep.

The five adults looked at the furry chainsaw, then at each other. Phix simply shrugged as they headed off
Last edited by Just Old Al on Wed Apr 27, 2016 4:23 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
User avatar
Just Old Al
Posts: 1683
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:43 am
Location: Wilderness of Massachusetts
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

It was a grand expanse, domed, with brilliant light flooding through the panels. Good ventilation kept it comfortable, and the expanse of flat, grassy sward made it a wonderful gathering place. Many sections of it were in use, with species innumerable sharing the space and enjoying the parklike conditions. Little ones of all designs scampered, clopped, flew and cavorted all over the field, stretching their muscles and constructively burning energy.

The Launcher was set up in a far corner, and aligned so that a potential target malfunction would hurt or annoy no one.

Phix sat by the Launcher, book in hand, cooler next to her with water and the all-important meat birds. A few yards away, Aeternia gnawed the remains of a previous catch, happily consuming the beef and soothing her gums with the motion and cold. Finishing it, she came over to her mother and nuzzled her, then walked back over to the line drawn in chalk on the grass. Standing in full pounce, wings out, her rear feet danced slightly in place with the anticipation of the launch, presenting a perfect picture of a predator at the hunt.

“PUWW!”

THOCK! The meat bird flew, and like a shot the sphinxlet flew after it, snagging it in midair. Phix had already had to start dialing up the variability in the throws to keep Aeternia from catching them too easily.

Swooping back, Aeternia settled again into her warm spot and started on her snack, her mother’s contented glance washing over her as Phix turned the pages of her book.

“Madam Librarian? May I have a word with you, please?” A siren and her husband stood there in feral form with their children, plumage shining in the sun.

"Certainly. What can I do for you this lovely day?"

"I’m Giles, and this is my wife Tabitha and these are our children Liana and Avia. Say hello, children.”

“Hello, Madam Librarian.”

“We saw the game you were playing with your cub – if you don’t mind us asking, can you tell us about the machine?”

“Oh, the machine? That was built by friends of mine – an engineering company in Minneapolis designed and built it for me. If you read the Paranormal Press you’ll recognize the name – Richer Engineering.”

“Oh – the human that married into the centaur family – yes, I remember reading about them. Is it a commercial design?”

“No, this one is a prototype – but they are planning on introducing it as a commercial design soon unless I miss my guess.” The faces of the family had fallen on the word “prototype”, but spirits rose again at the thought that it was going into commercial production.

“Oh, that would be wonderful. The children were watching your cub catch the targets and thought it looked like great fun. Does it work with other kinds of targets, or just the…meat ones?”

Aeternia, having finally reached her limit, had stretched out on the ground next to her mother and succumbed to the natural instinct of a cat – she was asleep.

“Actually, it is designed to use several types of targets.” Phix described the targets as she gave the machine a sanitizing with bleach spray and a cloth, then turned back to the family.

Reaching into the cooler, she extracted a stack of gold-foil-wrapped discs. “Pardon me for asking, but are your children permitted chocolate?”

“MAMADADDYCANWECANWECANWE???”

“No, children, Madame is just being nice. We shouldn’t impose…”

“Please – do impose. My friends who built this did their original tests with a siren – one’s granddaughter by adoption. If your children can find one or two more of their friends, I’d love to be able to give them some data on what children enjoy about the machine.”

“Madame, if you wouldn’t mind, we would absolutely love to let the children play. We are in your debt.”

“No, the debt is mine, I assure you.”

For the next hour the children played at catch-the-disk. Starting out with the wooden discs (which Al had painted red and included for troubleshooting the machine if needed) they each had a turn at pursuing the target, first singly, then in pairs, and finally in a 4-person melee which got boisterous indeed but with no injuries.

Lastly, with the tank pressure beginning to ebb, Phix loaded the launcher with four of the chocolate discs (also included but not for troubleshooting). Each child was allowed to yell “PULL!” and the disc was fired, and the time to catch it was measured – and the “Winner” was the one with the shortest time though all received a prize of chocolate.

During all of this time a crowd had gathered – mostly avian types but a fair selection of non-flyers. The interest in the machine was intense – as Phix operated it she had an audience behind her watching and discussing games and strategies. She smiled privately to herself – this is exactly the exposure the machine needed – and the reception to it was gratifying.

Phix smiled at the couple. “I have two discs left and there’s still pressure in the tank – care for a try?”

“Oh, no, we really shouldn’t…could we?”

Phix dropped the discs into the hopper, and Tabitha stepped up to the line, wings out, ready to go.

“PULL!”

THOCK! Off went the foil disc, as did Tabitha – with the children screaming “GO MOM GO MOM GO MOM!” Catching up to the disc she made a show out of plucking it out of the air, returning to earth at the starting line.

Giles was next, his wings also spread, telling his wife “Time me – want to see if I beat your time!”

“PULL!”

THOCK! Again the target flew, and Giles, showing off a bit, plucked it from the air with a clawed foot and tossed it up into his hand.

The crowd applauded, and he returned to earth.

Phix shut the machine down, to the disappointment of the crowd who had hoped to see more. Several people came up at that time and asked about the machine, with Phix passing along RE’s general email address as a contact for purchase.

Later, at home, Phix turned to her computer and composed an email.

TO: Al@richer-engineering.com
From: Phix@bibliothiki.org

Subject: Interest in the Launcher prototype:

Today, Aeternia and I went to the park with the Launcher prototype. It functioned perfectly, and Aeternia caught six targets before she succumbed to a full stomach and took a nap. It worked beautifully, and it is helping no end with her energy levels and my peace of mind.

The reason I write to you now, however, is to tell you of the interest that the prototype generated in the general flying populace at the park. Before Aeternia got her fill we had an appreciative audience studying the mechanism and the game play. I had several siren children and their parents playing catch with the Launcher wooden discs, and the chocolate targets went over well as “rewards” for the games, used as targets in a timed catch.

I gave RE’s general email address to several prospects for production machines – I suggest that you consider selling both a less-expensive “family” model and a heavier “commercial” unit for parks and event use.

Lastly, I must say this. I apologize for the trouble I caused between you and Katherine. I had no idea that her reaction to the misbehavior of her daughter and your admittedly-indulgent behavior would be so strident.

I wish there was some way I could take it back, but I cannot, and I hope that someday you feel in your heart the charity to forgive me. I did what I thought was best – this is the thinnest of excuses, but I meant no malice.

Love, as always, you grumpy old man,

Phix

She sent it off, not expecting a response.

A few hours later, her email pinged.

One email – from Al. With a small frisson of trepidation she opened the message.


TO: Phix@bibliothiki.org
From: Al@richer-engineering.com


Subject: RE: Interest in the Launcher prototype:

Phix, many thanks for the usage report on the Launcher prototype. It is gratifying to hear that Aeternia is enjoying it, and that its primary purpose – keeping you de-frazzled – is working out well. I am thrilled to hear about its generating interest, and will keep you posted on the outcome of the email addresses you passed around. I‘ve forwarded the first part of your email to my partners for further consideration.

Sad to say, I will not be doing any engineering on that till I return from my holiday in several weeks. It will definitely happen, however, and your market intelligence will be built into the design as it will eventually hit the shelves.

Between you and me I have been threatened with “a bullet in my arse” if I consider embarking on any projects at the present time. Considering what a good shot my dam is…this is not a threat I take lightly.

Phix laughed delightedly – this sounded more like the Al she knew and almost ate once.

As regards the second half, however…I cannot accept your apology – unless you accept mine as well.

I will freely admit to being entirely too indulgent with my grandchildren – it is a failing of mine and I am working on it. I find it very hard to be a disciplinarian to little ones – especially having never had any and loving those two as I do.

My reaction to the chiding of Katherine was entirely overblown, and a reaction to issues entirely outside that particular bit of stress. The other issues are ones that I am working on as I plan to go on holiday, and I will continue to deal with them as I decompress.

If you forgive me – I will forgive you. Take it or leave it, you mangy fleabag.

Love, as always, Al.

N.B.: Here kitty, kitty…sorry, I just love saying that…

AR
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
User avatar
jwhouk
Posts: 6053
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:58 am
Location: The Valley of the Sun, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by jwhouk »

---

(CREDITS ROLL OVER A BLACK SCREEN)
CAST
PHIX ........ Phyllis "Phix" Antonia
NEIL ........ Gaius Cornelius Antonia
DIXIE ....... Aeternia Dixiana Antonia

(FADE IN: Dixie is chasing and snagging after meat disks as Phix is launching them into the air. The camera pans back as Neil, looking on from a window in Phix's office, chuckles at the sight.)

ARI ......... Arania Wardoff
GREG ........ Gregory Howard
AL .......... Alan Richer
GLYTCH ...... Glytch Meister

(CUT TO: Greg and Al are talking to a marketing type – with horns and wings – who turns over the cover on an easel. The board on the easel is labeled "DIXIE FLYER" – with a picture of the product and two child "flyers" chasing after a tossed disk.)


JOE ......... Joseph Houk
SARAH ....... Sarah Houk
KATH ........ Dr. Katherine Gilchrist-Alexander
ATSALI ...... Atsali Sirena Gilchrist
PICKLE ...... Castela Enora Gilchrist

(CUT TO: Atsali is munching on a chocolate "disk" – when a tendril starts to wrap around her wrist. She reaches over and taps her sister on the head – and the tendrils withdrawl as Pickle makes a pouting face.)

JAMES ....... James "Old Man" Schweis
DREY ........ Dreyali Wardoff
MORI ........ Morbidia Wardoff
BILLY ....... William Schweis
HECTOR ...... Hector Gonzalez

(CUT TO: the interior of Schweis Meats. Drey and Mori are packing boxes of frozen meat to the tune of a Justin Bieber song… even as Billy and Hector look on, shaking their heads.)

NADETTE ..... Nadette Gadenyuva
DAISY ....... Rosalynd Alexander-Richer
ROSALITA .... Rosalita Maria San Demas Rosario
ANNIE ....... Anne Howard
ROGER ....... Roger Oyler
MAGGIE ...... Margaret Oyler

(CUT TO: Daisy is quietly sipping her tea after snapping off the radio. Rosalita is quietly humming to herself as she finishes cleaning some dishes.)

BUCK ........ Buck Alexander
ROWDY ....... Rowdy Alexander
JOHN ........ Johnathan MacKenzie

(CUT TO: John guns the engine to the Bentley, as Buck looks on. They engage in a discussion, apparently over something that is wrong with the car, in the bay of Richer Engineering's main shop.)

GILES ....... Giles "Winger" Kepler
TABITHA ..... Tabitha "Featherlight" Kepler
LIANA ....... Liana Kepler
AVIA ........ Avia Kepler

(CUT TO: The park in the Library, where several families seem to be playing with the "Dixie Flyer" – as the screen fades to black as the credits continue to roll…)

Executive Producer ......... JOSEPH HOUK
Director ................... ALAN RICHER
Assistant Director ......... GREG HOWARD
Assistant Writer ........... "DINKY"
Gaffer ..................... "SHNEEKEY THE LOST"
Key Grip ................... TINA ROSARIO ALDACO GUZMAN
Wardrobe ................... YANA NAMIKOVA
Special Effects ............ GLYTCHMEISTER STUDIOS, PEORIA, IL
Technical Providers ........ APPLE COMPUTERS, CUPERTINO, CA
Computer Wizardry .......... BOOKWORM COMPUTING, HOUSTON, TX

Based on the webcomic "Wapsi Square" by Paul Taylor

A SARGEANT-MAJOR WAPSI PRODUCTION

BRINGING UP A BABY SPHINX

(Finally, a photo of the contraption appears, with the following words overlaying the picture)

THE DIXIE FLYER - ON SALE NOW AT FINE PARANORMAL STORES EVERYWHERE
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
User avatar
lake_wrangler
Posts: 4300
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
Location: Laval, Québec, Canada

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by lake_wrangler »

BRAVO! :D

(Love the ending credit, by the way...) 8-)
User avatar
Dave
Posts: 7584
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:58 pm
Location: Mountain View, CA, USA

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Dave »

That was wonderful!

Can't wait to see the blooper reel... :lol:
User avatar
Sgt. Howard
Posts: 3331
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Malott, Washington

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Sgt. Howard »

Dave wrote:That was wonderful!

Can't wait to see the blooper reel... :lol:
The highlight is Castela running to catch the chocolate puck yelling "I- I got it, I- I got..." WHACK!!! as the puck knocks her silly and she disassembles into a briar patch... then yells out "MOOOOOM!!!"

Or Atsali trying to catch the chocolate in the air... she fumbles it, and fumbles it, and fumbles it until she hits the ground and rolls several times. Stunned, dizzy, she looks around for the stupid thing just as Nadette shows up- "Are you hurt, Sweetness?"
"Not really... but I've lost the puck..." just then a drip of chocolate falls out from under her blouse- she looks in her cleavage and spouts "UGH! It's all MELTED!"
Nadette's eyes light up and she licks her lips... "I can clean that up for you..."

Greg goes to fire the wooden puck for the first time- standing behind the machine, he trips the button- puck catches him in the solar plexus, knocking the wind out of him. Glytch- "Was it supposed to do that?"
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
User avatar
GlytchMeister
Posts: 3733
Joined: Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:52 pm
Location: Central Illinois
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by GlytchMeister »

"RRRAAAAGH!"
*Thunk* (no damage done to the wall)
"OW!"
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
User avatar
Just Old Al
Posts: 1683
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:43 am
Location: Wilderness of Massachusetts
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

Al stalking around his office, yelling at Greg and dodging the furniture..until one of the ottomans decides to attack.

*CRASH!* MISERABLE USELESS EXCUSE FOR FIREWOOD! You have tripped me for the LAST TIME!"

"AL! NO!"

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! Three shots from his Walther reduce it to kindling and leather fragments...
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
User avatar
GlytchMeister
Posts: 3733
Joined: Wed Oct 16, 2013 2:52 pm
Location: Central Illinois
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by GlytchMeister »

Glytch walked into the studio with a dangerous smile on and his hand behind his back. Seeing this, Al was immediately on guard, and began to analyze the surroundings for signs of an immenint robot ambush. "Uh... What's up, Glytch?"
"Hey Al, just wanted your opinion on something." Glytch stuck his hand out, which was currently made up with prosthetics to appear badly mangled and broken. Bones sticking out, blood dripping rapidly, etc...
At first, Al was completely still and silent. Then he began cursing and scrabbling for a first aid kit. Then he saw Sarge guffawing in the distance and realized he'd been had.
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
FreeFlier
Posts: 2492
Joined: Mon Oct 26, 2015 11:33 pm
Location: Land of the webbed feet

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by FreeFlier »

Sounds like over at The Whiteboard when Swampy tried to prank Doc with a fake severed arm, and Doc panicked . . .

--FreeFlier
User avatar
jwhouk
Posts: 6053
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:58 am
Location: The Valley of the Sun, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by jwhouk »

(CUT IN: Dreyali and Morbidia are dancing in the processing area)

"You know I'm all about da bass,bout da bass
No treble
I'm all about da bass, bout da bass
No treble
I'm all about da bass, bout da bass
No treble
I'm all about da bass,
Bout da bass...
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
User avatar
Sgt. Howard
Posts: 3331
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 11:54 pm
Location: Malott, Washington

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Sgt. Howard »

jwhouk wrote:(CUT IN: Dreyali and Morbidia are dancing in the processing area)

"You know I'm all about da bass,bout da bass
No treble
I'm all about da bass, bout da bass
No treble
I'm all about da bass, bout da bass
No treble
I'm all about da bass,
Bout da bass...

Hector and Billy watching in the doorway, both hypnotized...
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
User avatar
DinkyInky
Posts: 2382
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:38 am
Location: Where there's more than Corn.
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by DinkyInky »

*facepalm*
Yanno how some people have Angels/Devils for a conscience? I have a Dark Elf ShadowKnight and a Half Elf Ranger for mine. The really bad part is when they agree on something.

Aphyon chu kissa whol l'jaed.
--Safyr Drathmir
User avatar
jwhouk
Posts: 6053
Joined: Wed Aug 01, 2012 7:58 am
Location: The Valley of the Sun, Arizona
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by jwhouk »

And the "screenplay" is now available in PDF format for all to read.
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
User avatar
AmriloJim
Posts: 1190
Joined: Sat Aug 04, 2012 10:47 pm
Location: 35ºN 101ºW (for the GPS-challenged, that's Amarillo TX)
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by AmriloJim »

A sponsored ad just popped up on my Facebook... apparently a consumer version of the launcher has been out there for several years.
http://shop.goifetch.com/category-s/1818.htm
User avatar
lake_wrangler
Posts: 4300
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
Location: Laval, Québec, Canada

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by lake_wrangler »

Nah, I think Al and Greg's launcher is better.
User avatar
Dave
Posts: 7584
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:58 pm
Location: Mountain View, CA, USA

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Dave »

Agreed. I don't think the commercial one would do terribly well, lofting tennis balls made out of meat.
User avatar
Just Old Al
Posts: 1683
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 4:43 am
Location: Wilderness of Massachusetts
Contact:

Re: Bringing Up a Baby Sphinx

Post by Just Old Al »

30 feet......phhhhht!

Need at least 2-300 feet and variability to keep a sphinx cub interested. The little bar stewards are fast and tricky!

Jim, thanks for the shout-out on this - it's hilarious.

Wait till you see the Mk. 2 - it's going to have a live package...no we're not throwing gerbils in gliders... more a drone that can play dodgeball. This obviously isn't for the little ferals, but for older kids and adults - melee...touch the drone and it registers a 'hit' and drops.
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
Post Reply