Dark Knowledge

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ShneekeyTheLost
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by ShneekeyTheLost »

GlytchMeister wrote:
Dave wrote:
GlytchMeister wrote:Your reactions gave me a unsettlingly evil grin... It's freaking out my coworkers... :twisted:
I'm beginning to wonder whether I need to ask you (quite urgently) to compute, to the last digit, the value of pi? :shock:
But that's an irrational number. I'd be at that forever...

*narrows eyes* ooh. I get it. I'm onto you, Dave...
The appropriate response here is:

"I'm sorry, Dave, I can't do that."

Then duck and run REAL fast.

*Deposits one copy of 2001: Space Odyssey in the Pun Jar*
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by GlytchMeister »

Glytch awoke with a start, breathing heavily and sweating. It took him a moment to realize he was strapped to the bed. A mouth guard with a tube in it to let him breathe was clenched between his teeth. His clothes and his leather pack were sitting across the room. He had been stripped and dressed in a hospital gown.
Both of his hands and forearms were covered in bandages, several of his fingers were splinted, his left foot was in a brace, and he could feel the dull ache of bullet wounds in his right upper arm, his left shoulder, and his left thigh. He felt several chips had been broken off from various teeth. And his head felt like someone had hammered a railroad spike in it and was now twisting it around in his skull while zapping it with a car battery.
Yowza. That cube must've put up a helluva fight... Wait. How can a cube fight? It's just a little box! It didn't even explode at me...
A woman dressed as a doctor entered the room and immediately balked. "Oh! You're awake!"
[/i]Why wouldn't I be awake? Ask her... What's going on? Why am I so badly hurt?[/i]
To his horror, Glytch spat out the mouth guard right at the doctor and spoke in a feral, growling voice. "Excuse me, but... How do you think you'd taste best? Well, medium, or RRRAAARE? Nnhnnhyahahahahaaaa...."
[/i]What? No... Where did that come from?[/i]
The doctor backed away slowly before turning and leaving the room, her eyes wide.
"Hey! Come baaaack! I never even got to ask you what cut of you would be the most succulent!"
What the hell is wrong with me? Why... Why is this happening?
Hee hee hee hee hee... It's because you, mister smarty pants, have been driven completely insane! Isn't this FUN? All your friends will see you and despair! Hearts will be broken... And then, you and I are going to go out for a night on the town! Heh heh heh... But don't worry... I'll keep you well fed.
"Grgh! Somebody set me freeee, please? I wanna put my thumbs in someone's eye sockets! I wonder how it feels..."
Billens, Brandi, and the doctor entered the room.
"YOU! AAARGLRARGHRAK! I COULDN'T BITE YOU!"
"He's completely gone, madam... I've never seen anything like it... You say he was a good man?"
NO! I'm still in here! Please!
Brandi stared at the thrashing Glytch, not wanting to believe her eyes. "Yes... He's saved lives, improved many more... Kind, ingenious, occasionally wise beyond his years..."
"I'm sorry, but it seems like all that's left is a... A sick animal."
"Billens, was he this bad when you found him?"
Billens crossed his arms. "When I found him? Yes... But then he... Changed. He was still loony, but he wasn't like... This. Then the Library VORP'd him away."
"Hey... You know how people used to put coins on railroad tracks to flatten them out? I wonder if that works with his head! Come on, let's give it a shot!" Glytch cackled, straining against the restraints.
Stop... Stop that! Don't... I just got a bunch of friends... family... Please... Don't take them away from me...
"And you... Do come closer... Both of you! Nothing like a couple a ladies to make a madman happy!"
Brandi furrowed her brow at this and turned away, heading toward the door, followed by Billens and the doctor. Glytch noticed her eyes beginning to tear up.
No... No, no, no... No no no nonononoNONONO NOOO! I will NOT be beaten by YOU! An ANIMAL! I am JACK COOPER, MASTER OF GLITCHES, and my mind will not be subdued by some base CREATURE! HHHHAAAAAARRRGH!
•••---•••
Billens stopped dead in his tracks. "Boss?"
•••---•••
Brandi looked at the source of the tapping... Glytch's left hand, rapping against the bed frame to which it was strapped.
•••---•••
"SOS. He... He's asking for help." Brandi whispered, her eyes widening.
"What? No... No I'm not... I don't need your help! I need to see what you LOOK LIKE INSIDE OUT!" Glytch roared.
•••---•••
"NO! Stop it! STOP IT! My hand my hand MY HAND MINE MINE MINE!"
•••---•••
Brandi turned to Billens. "Get a Mindwiper. Tell the operator to remove any memory of what happened while he was in the Interface Chamber. Both times."
Billens nodded curtly and pulled out his phone, dialing quickly.
•••---•••
Brandi approached Glytch. "We're going to get you out, kid... Don't worry."
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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Dave
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by Dave »

GlytchMeister wrote:
Dave wrote:
GlytchMeister wrote:Your reactions gave me a unsettlingly evil grin... It's freaking out my coworkers... :twisted:
I'm beginning to wonder whether I need to ask you (quite urgently) to compute, to the last digit, the value of pi? :shock:
But that's an irrational number. I'd be at that forever...

*narrows eyes* ooh. I get it. I'm onto you, Dave...
Heh. I award you one Red Jack for your quick reactions.
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Just Old Al
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by Just Old Al »

Dave wrote:
GlytchMeister wrote:Your reactions gave me a unsettlingly evil grin... It's freaking out my coworkers... :twisted:
I'm beginning to wonder whether I need to ask you (quite urgently) to compute, to the last digit, the value of pi? :shock:
You can't do that - he'd end up pi-eyed...and Glytch doesn't drink!

Deposits two pints of Everclear in the pun jar...which less-than-politely belches it right back out again...
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."
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DinkyInky
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by DinkyInky »

Just Old Al wrote:
Dave wrote:
GlytchMeister wrote:Your reactions gave me a unsettlingly evil grin... It's freaking out my coworkers... :twisted:
I'm beginning to wonder whether I need to ask you (quite urgently) to compute, to the last digit, the value of pi? :shock:
You can't do that - he'd end up pi-eyed...and Glytch doesn't drink!

Deposits two pints of Everclear in the pun jar...which less-than-politely belches it right back out again...
I told you the vault is classy!

*Deposits a fine cocktail shaker, Bombay Sapphire, Luxardo Maraschino liqueur, and Rothman & Winter Creme de Violette*

You put in the appropriate glasses.
Yanno how some people have Angels/Devils for a conscience? I have a Dark Elf ShadowKnight and a Half Elf Ranger for mine. The really bad part is when they agree on something.

Aphyon chu kissa whol l'jaed.
--Safyr Drathmir
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by GlytchMeister »

Two PINTS? A whole friggin QUART of everclear?

I'm pretty sure that'd be lethal to a human. Good thing it's an extra-dimensional pocket universe.

Still, I'm pretty sure you made it very drunk.
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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DinkyInky
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by DinkyInky »

GlytchMeister wrote:Two PINTS? A whole friggin QUART of everclear?

I'm pretty sure that'd be lethal to a human. Good thing it's an extra-dimensional pocket universe.

Still, I'm pretty sure you made it very drunk.
Depends on alcohol tolerance and time drinking it. I made fruit smoothies with EverClear. Used about 25 ounces in oh...about four large pitchers. Frozen fruits, fresh bananas...good times. I drank two of them myself over three hours(also eating chips, salsa, roast beef and cheese pizza Chicago style) before I got my buzz on. That's almost a pint for me over three hours. Back in my stupid late twenties...

I have since learned about quality over abv.
Yanno how some people have Angels/Devils for a conscience? I have a Dark Elf ShadowKnight and a Half Elf Ranger for mine. The really bad part is when they agree on something.

Aphyon chu kissa whol l'jaed.
--Safyr Drathmir
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Dave
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by Dave »

Everclear needs to be treated like Dr. Bronner's soap. "Dilute! Dilute! OK!"

RE "my stupid late 20s": during my early college years, a young woman who was in a couple of my classes turned 19, and decided to celebrate in the grand style by having one shot of peppermint schnapps for each year (this was an era when the drinking age in New York was 18).

She wasn't a big person. I think she might have weighed 100 pounds, wringing wet.

She apparently did finish the 19 shots before collapsing. Fortunately, somebody paniced quickly, called 911, and the paramedics got her to the hospital and the doctors pumped her stomach quickly enough to keep her from dying from alcohol poisoning. I understand they asked her, afterwards, if she'd been suicidal.

I just ran the numbers through an online calculator... if she had actually digested all of those shots, her BAC would have been somewhere between 0.5% and 1%. Well above the 0.25% range described as "serious health risks, including death."

"We grow too soon old, and too late smart."
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DinkyInky
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by DinkyInky »

Dave wrote:Everclear needs to be treated like Dr. Bronner's soap. "Dilute! Dilute! OK!"

RE "my stupid late 20s": during my early college years, a young woman who was in a couple of my classes turned 19, and decided to celebrate in the grand style by having one shot of peppermint schnapps for each year (this was an era when the drinking age in New York was 18).

She wasn't a big person. I think she might have weighed 100 pounds, wringing wet.

She apparently did finish the 19 shots before collapsing. Fortunately, somebody paniced quickly, called 911, and the paramedics got her to the hospital and the doctors pumped her stomach quickly enough to keep her from dying from alcohol poisoning. I understand they asked her, afterwards, if she'd been suicidal.

I just ran the numbers through an online calculator... if she had actually digested all of those shots, her BAC would have been somewhere between 0.5% and 1%. Well above the 0.25% range described as "serious health risks, including death."

"We grow too soon old, and too late smart."
I was more muscle than fat, and about 155(though very tiny looking). I had a very high metabolism, was eating, and also drinking fluids other than alcohol along with. But still, two blender pitchers of fruit and roughly 13oz of 100 proof alcohol over three hours was skirting boundaries.
Crappy thing was, I was more sober than when I drank two very diluted glasses of Absinthe(roughly a half jigger in a whiskey glass over a lot of ice water poured over raw sugar lumps stirred until diluted)...the traditional way is in a tiny tiny glass. Sipped over the same timeframe with loads of food(traditional absinthe tastes foul if you dislike anise and fennel). I only remember my sister drove me home. The artwork I "created" that night was...superb, but not my...usual style or crossed moral lines I'm uncomfortable with.
Yanno how some people have Angels/Devils for a conscience? I have a Dark Elf ShadowKnight and a Half Elf Ranger for mine. The really bad part is when they agree on something.

Aphyon chu kissa whol l'jaed.
--Safyr Drathmir
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by GlytchMeister »

Well, now I'm super curious about that artwork. No pressure - if you don't want to share, that's ok. I understand.
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by GlytchMeister »

Wiping a mind of specific details is a tricky business. In order to prevent the patient from being reduced to the intelligence of a potato, the entire cache of memories stored in the brain must be downloaded and decoded, then encoded into a format that computers can work with.
Memories do not carry time stamps, like normal computer files. The sense of time is derived from what came before and what came after... If a memory came before learning how to ride a bike, it was early... If it came after the Battle of Pillsbury, it was recent. There is also the difference between how long-term memory and short-term memory are stored and encoded. Short term memory is best compared to RAM, while long-term memory is closer to a hard drive. Instincts are altogether different, as are behaviors and emotions.
A full understanding of the mind must exist so as to avoid unforeseen effects.

Memories are wiped by destroying the connections that store or transmit them. The downloaded copy is backed up, then the alterations begin.
First a host of magneto-sensitive nanites are injected into the brain fluid. Then, a particular memory is chosen. Before permanently deleting it, three magnetic fields are produced, and the intersection of all three interact to dampen the chemical electrical surges within the chosen neurons. If the effect is desired, the magnetic fields are altered, signaling the nanites to attack the marked neurons, permanently deleting or quarantining the memory.

But things are even worse when the mind being altered has been driven insane... Connections have been made and data has been created that make no sense whatsoever. Chaos reigns supreme, and any alteration can result in a cascading failure or cause a butterfly effect consequence so far removed from the original alteration the series of events between is indecipherable to all but the best Mindsweepers in the business.

Glytch was one of the worst cases Doctor North had ever seen. He had been driven insane by the memory of being exposed to an insanity so intense it surpassed any real medical or psychological definition. And apparently, the patient was still in there, hanging on for dear life... Fighting to retain gross motor control of his left wrist.

----------

Howling, laughing, roaring, crying, growling, babbling and gibbering. Wave upon wave of torturous insanity crashed against Glytch, threatening to tear what was left of his mind apart. Hot with rage and fury, cold with contempt and hate, liquid and formless as chaos and hard and sharp and full of spikes and blades.
SOS. Three dots, three dashes, three dots. Three, the universal signal for distress, repeated three times. 9? Or would that be 27? 27... Three times itself three times... Or 9... Three times three. Huh... Three plus three plus three is the same thing as three times three. Fascinating.
WHAM
Grrrrg... 1 1 2 3 5 8 13 21... Um... 34... 55... 89... Ok. It's passed. What's happening out there... Brandi? Good... She's ok. And Billens. I think they've noticed the signal. Good.
WHAM
Aaaargh... 3.14159265359... Ugh... They're coming closer together...
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by GlytchMeister »

Doctor North was a firm believer in not making promises he can't keep. "Ms. Oduya, I can't assure you anything except that the patient-"
"Glytch. His name is Glytch." Brandi said through clenched teeth.
"My apologies. I can't assure anything except that Glytch will be changed. For better or for worse, I cannot say. I cannot say he will be the same man he was before he was exposed to the Insanity Gem. I will do my best. Yes, my best is better than most other Memory Alteration Experts. But that isn't a guarantee of success." North spoke as gently and ingratiatingly as he could - he knew full well the Director was capable of ruining his career.
An agent approached and spoke behind North, catching him by surprise, making North jump. "Doc, this man is a far greater asset to MIB than you are. Any damage to him is a major loss to the organization and the world."
Doctor North swallowed hard, nodding. The implication was clear.
Don't mess up.
"I'm... Sorry, but all I can offer is my best effort. This is an extraordinarily bad case." North squeaked before bowing his head and scurrying away to escape the penetrating glares from the two. When he entered the operation room, he was greeted by the several assistants and technicians with a flurry of curt nods - everybody was too busy concentrating on their work to offer anything more to North. Glytch reclined in the center of the room, bristling with wires and tubes and needles. A particularly wicked-looking drill was aimed at the peak of his skull, hovering just over a patch of freshly-shaven scalp. Within the drill was a needle, attached to a syringe full of a dark grey metallic liquid. It swirled despite not having been disturbed for several minutes. Glytch had been strapped even more securely into place, and several rods had already been drilled into his skull to ensure his head remained absolutely motionless. His left hand continued to tap out the distress call. The only other free movement was his eyes, wide open and rolling in every direction. Every so often he struggled, thrashed, growled and moaned, but the straps and the rods held firm. The mouth guard was strapped into place, and his jaw had been tied shut.
Surrounding him was a ring of computers and cables, many of which connected to a strange helmet full of sensors. Two magnetic signal beams reared up from the floor like turrets, and a third hung from the ceiling.
Every inch of the walls were occupied by screens, displaying vitals, status of the various implements of the Mindsweeper device, and the data being downloaded and deciphered.
North picked up a VR headset and put it on, holding his hand on the switch. "Everyone ready?"
"Yes. Everything is ready, Doctor."
North flipped the switch.

North never thought he was a genius. The main difference between him and his colleagues and competitors, he believed, was his approach to viewing the human mind. Most Mindsweepers simply worked from the translated data. North was a little more direct. His technique involved the translated code as well as seeing and manipulating a three-dimensional representation of the brain. In the background, seeming to surround him in the VR headset, was an approximation of any images and sounds the patient was thinking or experiencing in their minds.

A technician made an incision through Glytch's scalp and pried the flesh apart, opening the way for the drill Glytch's skull.
The drill fired up and sunk into the bone. As soon as it finished, it retracted, taking with it a tiny disk of bone. Then the needle sank into the greyish brain matter and released its payload of nanites.

A brain flickered into view, and North leaned forward, floating toward it. Around him, a turbulent sea of... Horror... Thrashed and crashed. Under him was a barren rock, some last sanctuary of sanity to which a small, haggard young man clinger desprately to. Above him roiled a tempest of hail and lightning, and all around him the howling insanity tore at his ears like a great gale.
North reached out and began to gently fiddle with the brain, talking all the while to his technicians, telling them what tests to run as he picked through Glytch's mind.

Every alteration North made calmed the weather in Glytch's mind. The sea grew flat and slowly drained away, the clouds slowed, thinned, and parted, and the wind calmed and grew quiet. Soon, North could see the vast landscape of Glytch's mind, a whole world of thought and emotion. North rarely saw minds so vast. The spire of rock that had saved Glytch was a single black mountain rearing out of the earth below, a formidable fortress carved from some primal emotion.

Brandi and Billens waited outside. The heard the drill, but after that, nothing. Billens kept glancing at his watch. Brandi forced herself not to, instead sinking into a meditative, almost trancelike stupor as she waited.

It was nearly six hours later when North exited the Mindsweeper room. His shirt was partially soaked with sweat and his face was slightly pale, but his expression seemed fairly satisfied. Billens jumped up and opened his mouth, but North spoke first. "It looks good. I don't have a preexisting file to compare the patient's mind to, but from what I can tell, the damage appears to be reversed. He will have to come back from time to time to ensure none of those connections are rebuilt by accident... I tried to remove as much as I could, but there was a lot I had to simply quarantine."
Brandi let out an explosive sigh of relief, and her shoulders slumped as the pent-up anxiety released. "Thank you." She said simply, shaking the doctor's hand.
"My pleasure... His mind is... Special. I understand why he is such an important asset to the MIB."

----------

Glytch slowly stood and looked out from his mountain. The sea had vanished, the storm had faded, and the wind of his thoughts was back to its normal speed. A few dark, restless lakes remained, each overshadowed by angry clouds, but they all were surrounded by chasms and crystalline walls. He couldn't reach those unsettling places, and he found he couldn't remember what they were in the first place. Even as he contemplated them, they faded from his awareness. With a mental shrug, Glytch turned his focus to the world outside.
He immediately regretted this decision. Everything hurt. A lot. His screaming prompted a bunch of people to tend to his IV and put a mask over his mouth and nose. Soon, the pain faded and he fell into a dreamless sleep.
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Dark Knowledge

Post by GlytchMeister »

Glytch's physical wounds were much easier to fix. Every day, he ate one of those splendid gummy bears Brandi had fed him the last time he was in the hospital. After a couple weeks of rest and sleep, Glytch's mind began to enter the final stages of healing along with his body; he began to have normal, forgettable dreams as opposed to nightmares or vivid dreams that stuck in his memory. His bones knit together as his muscle and skin pulled itself back into one piece. The stitches dissolved and fell out, and the scars formed. Glytch was gradually moved to less and less intensive care units, until he was simply in the hospital for nothing but the physical therapy and for observation of his mental health. Soon, Glytch managed to figure out Brandi's gummy bears had minute traces of Neil's Elixir in them. The moment he mentioned this, Brandi stopped giving him gummy bears.
"I hope you didn't cheek one and plan on trying to extract that stuff." Brandi said, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes suspiciously.
Glytch grinned ruefully. "No... I wish I'd thought of that, but I guess I missed my opportunity, now."
"Mm-hmm." Brandi smiled. "Well, I guess that means you'll have to do the rest of your healing on your own."
"I don't think there's much left to heal, anyway." Glytch moved around, swinging his arms and jogging in place as he tested his wounds. "Everything seems to be working."

Finally, on the first day of November, Glytch was allowed to leave the medical wing entirely, though Doctor North insisted he come back for monthly follow-ups for six months and then yearly follow ups. Glytch looked at the bill and automatically groaned before remembering he now had a rather large paycheck and good benefits.

"So, how would you feel about having a couple months of paid vacation? I think you deserve a good long chunk of time to rest and recuperate." Brandi said as she walked with Glytch through a Library portal hallway.
Glytch smiled and shook his head. "I don't think I could stand being idle for that long. How about a couple months of 'I work when I want'? I could telecommute, too."
Brandi considered it for a moment. "Yeah, that sounds ok... Should help to keep you out of trouble. But just remember, your work is logged and time stamped. I'll know if you're working too much. Keep it around 20 hours a week, ok?"
Glytch rolled his eyes under his hood, smirking. "That won't keep me out of trouble and you know it. Alright, I promise I won't overwork myself."
"So what are you going to do?"
"What, now? Well, I guess I'd better go to the post office and get all of my mail... But I think I'll stop at the Cerebus for something better than hospital food. As for what I'll be doing with all that extra free time... I dunno. Either tinkering, playing and exploiting the laws of physics for fun, drawing, writing, playing video games... Maybe help out Anonymous if it strikes my fancy." Glytch shrugged. "I'll play that by ear."
They reached Glytch's car - a black Pontiac G-6 hardtop convertible. "Well, that's certainly an improvement from the FrankenStratus." Brandi said, nodding her approval.
Glytch hopped in, smiling. "Too bad Pontiac went out of business. I think I might just end up customizing this one. I have some really interesting ideas..."
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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