A VERY happy wedding...

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Sgt. Howard
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A VERY happy wedding...

Post by Sgt. Howard »

Having just come back home from my old stomping grounds where I had the honor of performing "Wedding Song" by Paul Stookey for my niece's wedding, my mind has been rumbling (hemorrhaging, actually) with images of a glorious and happy wedding, I realized that I had set up several loose threads in my own 'red wedding' that were never resolved- here is an alternate set of stories to fill it out. Just for fun (as all of this is)... then I will get back to that wretched, filthy, stinking submarine that is currently calamari bait...


The female lead was belting out the chorus just as Brandy stormed up to Buck and Kathy with Monica trying to keep pace-
"How do YOU know about a centaur's penis? " she asked.
Brandy just scowled at her (with a blush) and said, "Never you mind.... HEY YOU!!! BUCK!!! You DO know that that's a HUMAN female you're dancing with, right?"

"Honey I'm home and I've had a hard day- pour me a cold one and oh by the way, rub my feet gimmie something to eat- fix me up my favorite treat..."

Buck stopped dancing and looked over at the source of his name- he smiled as he saw Brandy coming over.
"Oh, yeah- Brandy, am I right? You were dancing with my cousin Dusty at the Cerebrius club last week, I remember..." he now noticed the sour look on her face, "... oh... I see... I guess that didn't go over too well..." he looked a bit nervous.

"Honey I'm back my head's killing me, I need to relax and watch TV- get off the phone, give the dog a bone- hey, hey, hey, honey I'm home...."

"DAMN STRAIGHT it didn't go over too well! And I will NOT have you harm or frighten My friend in any way you ..."
"NOW SEE HERE!!!" he cut across her with an authority that startled Katherine, Monica and Brandy alike, "I HAVE NO DESIRE TO HARM ANYONE! I APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN FOR MS. GILCHRIST'S WELFARE, BUT I ASSURE YOU THAT ALL I HAVE ASKED HER TO DO IS DANCE!"

Monica heard the band stop and start talking about some sort of 'two step dance off', or words to that effect... then to her amazement, she watched Buck's left ear, a VERY HUMAN looking left ear, cup and swivel in the direction of the band- without a single hesitation in his response.

"Ms. Gilchrist is a remarkably intelligent and brave woman who I am sure knows what she might want or not want AND is very capable of telling me to get lost should she feel the need- now, if you will excuse us, there is another dance that is currently calling our names... " and with that, he took Kathy's right hand in his left and start two-stepping to a furious drumbeat that had just started- Brandy and Monica slipped off the dance floor as a mad ensemble of C&W types started. The bass player added a heavy-duty cascade to the rhythm, followed by the loud wail of a harmonica.
"Wha... what was THAT all about?!? And how do you know my name?"
"I will explain everything right after this dance, Ms. Gilchrist- but right now, I am asking you to face a dance-off,"
"A... a what?"
"This is something that a woman like you can do- you are everything I said you are and more. And it can't be near as frightening as facing bullets or evil personifications as you have in the past,"
"But... how do you...?"
"Dearheart, follow my lead and you will outshine everybody,"

"Get up on your high horse woman- get up on your high horse now- get up on your high horse woman I'll make it up to you somehow,"

Kathy was doing spins and twirls to make her dizzy in a swift circle around the dance floor- her feet never skipped a beat although her head was too full of questions... but Buck's lead was sure and strong, and she never faltered. Swing with a pass-through, side-by-side sashay, lover's dip and twirl... all at a pace of an express train. And the music sounded as intense as an old steam express train, the drummer was without mercy on the skins or the dancers.

"Moonlit shadow she starts a trippin' firelight jumpin' the trees lyin' across the right of way- silvery mornin' it glistens down the valley but she won't stop until we ride the night away,"

The dancefloor was getting quite heavy with the scent of male and female musk. Kathy looked around and saw some very ... intimate... steps being used by the dancers- yet Buck was being a perfect gentleman. In the background, Castella (sitting on the shoulders of the Minotaur she had been dancing with so that she could see what was going on) shouted out, "Mama, you're dancing so PRETTY!" Kathy ALSO noticed that some of the dancers were being interrupted by some individuals and sent off the dance floor...

This was a competition! She had JUST learned this dance!


"Get up on your high horse woman- get up on your high horse now- get up on your high horse woman I'll make it up to you somehow,
Blond braids tangle at the misty break of mornin', catchin' light through the dusty window pane- lost in lust in denial of the warnin' she digs her heels in this stallion's flank again"

At this line, Buck let rip with a whinny that startled everybody on the floor as he pranced Katherine in a spooned promenade- Katherine looked around and realized that there were only two other couples on the floor... and everybody was stomping their feet, clapping their hands and LOOKING AT HER!

She wanted to run and hide.
This was more frightening than anything else she had ever done.
SHE was the center of attention- SHE was what everybody was looking at-
She had never felt so alive... terrified as she was, she realized that people were looking at her because they liked what they saw.

Suddenly there was a bounce to her step that was not there before. Buck sensed it and took bolder steps.

Then they had the floor to themselves.

"Get up on your high horse woman- get up on your high horse now- get up on your high horse woman I'll make it up to you somehow,
Get up on your high horse woman, you paid the price, you get to play, hey- get up on your high horse woman, you're gonna ride 'till the break of day"

To the break of day- to the break of day- to the break of day


People were cheering and shouting, the band went into a furious instrumental, one more round of the chorus and came to an abrupt halt- with Buck holding Kathy in a deep dip as if she were a feather.

The crowd cut loose.
Last edited by Sgt. Howard on Sat Oct 17, 2020 11:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

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Allen and Jin retired from the floor when the 'dance off' was announced, both of them quite full of giggles and smiles- finally he asked,
"How are you sure?"
"I... felt something... odd, different... and so, just on a whim, I bought one of those 'pee on a stick' things... and it turned blue... it's so weird, I have always fantasized about growing old and dying... and now... " she looked a bit sullen, "... and now, I DON'T want to die. I want to live forever, just like I was before..."
"You silly- you COULDN'T get pregnant as a golum! Besides, your children and grandchildren NOW are your immortality! What more could you want?"
"Why did you stay with me?" she asked.
"... I had fallen in love... as much as I tried to avoid it, I had fallen in love,"
"Why avoid it? Why would you want to avoid it?"
"I wanted to make sure I wasn't making another mistake- you're not the only one to have been hurt by a lover you know,"
"Do you feel like I might hurt you?"
"I can't see you deliberately trying to hurt me- sometimes people hurt each other when they get close without meaning it- I guess I'll take my chances... besides, I want to help raise our little one... Is that Katherine out there on the dance floor? DAMN!!! Who's the bruiser she's strutting with?"
"Oh my! He IS a hunk, isn't he- way to go, Kath!!! and... I never knew she could dance like that..."

Sitting one table over, Bud overheard Jin admit to being pregnant. Kevin didn't hear it, but noticed a shadow cross Bud's face.
"Bud? You allright?" he asked.
"Yeah... no... I don't know- I just learned something that.... just a minute, OK? I will be right back," and jumped over to where Jin and Allen had parked.
"I overheard," she said as she wrapped her arms around Jin, "... and... and... and I am sooooo happy for you..." tears rolling down her cheeks as she held the once immortal as tightly as she dared.
Jin was also crying as she hugged Bud. Allen beamed with pleasure watching the two who were closer than sisters sharing the joy of new life. Kevin watched the proceedings from across his table, got up and sat next to Allen.
"Ah... what's going on?" he asked.
"Well... it seems I need to buy some cigars, Old Man!"
Kevin stared at Allen for a moment, big eyed and open mouthed. The two sat there, Kevin stunned and Allen grinning for about twelve heartbeats before Kevin exploded with "WELL DAMN!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! WAITER!!! CHAMPAGNE OVER HERE PLEASE!!!"
Last edited by Sgt. Howard on Thu Jul 02, 2015 9:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

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Atsali noticed a commotion at the bar- seemed Auntie Nudge had a little too much to drink and was about to be slapped around by an Apo acting as security. Just as she was walking over, Auntie Nudge hiked up her long skirt and pulled out a short-barreled shotgun. Atsali had just enough time to cover her ears when Nudge pulled the trigger.
The resulting panic from the weapon's blast sent people into all forms of scramble- Buck held Katherine over his head to prevent her from being trampled, Neil dropped Phix to the floor and covered her with his own body while searching for the source of the disturbance. Justin hid behind a now fully feral Shelly as things got out of hand. Nudge sent another round into the air while yelling 'YEEEEHAAAAAAWWW!!!" just to see the effect.
Atsali scampered over to her inebriated Aunt-
"Listen to my voice," she crooned as she approached, "my words mean nothing but my voice allures you,"
Nudge stopped in the middle of re-loading.
"That shotgun is a nasty thing, why do you even hold it? You might want to wash your hands, especially if you want to touch me,"
The lyrical sound was having it's affect- Nudge looked at the shotgun and was embarrassed to be holding it- she let it drop.
"There now, That's better... and this Apo will help you wash your hands, won't she? and do be gentle with her, she is quite drunk and doesn't know what she is doing,"
Both Apo and Nudge floated off to the washrooms in a semi trance. The bartender picked up the shotgun and put it behind the bar.

"Neil- Honey... would you get off of me? Please?" Phix asked. Neil looked at his bride and, thankful that no harm had befallen her, kissed her and got up. Buck put Katherine down on her own feet, the band assesed the damage they might have done to their own instruments and several overturned tables were put back to rights. Slowly, the shock wore off the crowd and the band fired up another tune... bouts of laughter here and there started the whole mood back to where it belonged and the party went into full swing.

"That was the bravest thing I have ever seen anyone do," Nadette gushed over Atsali.
"Well, yeah... it was kinda scary... but I knew I could distract her enough to disarm her. Just what was she thinking, anyways?"
Nadette just continued to look at her with dreamy eyes....

"Alright- you haul me out into a dance competition where I have NO experiance, yet we take first place! My friends felt the need to warn me about you, and you blow them off- " Her hands were on her hips, her legs set apart and her face had a look that would scare Charles Manson, "... START TALKING!!!"
"OK,OK... I am a Centaur. Your friend Brandy met with my cousin Dusty... she learned a few ... things... about our kind. You see... this is so embarrasing... MOST Centaurs are completly ... incompatable... with human females... MOST human females... because of our... size.... you see- but as I am part human myself... well, among my kind I am seen as ... deficiant..."
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?"
"... uh... our ...genitalia... don't always reduce completely to human dimentions when we go human... sorta like Atsali's bustline..."
Katherine took a moment to understand what he was saying- she involuntarily looked at the man's crotch... and gasped.
By equine standards, he was downright puny- by human standards he was clearly in "OMG" territory... possibly even "NFW" to some women.
Katherine's face turned deep red.
Last edited by Sgt. Howard on Sat Aug 05, 2017 11:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by GlytchMeister »

THIS is the endng I was hoping for! :D
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by jwhouk »

GlytchMeister wrote:THIS is the endng I was hoping for! :D
Ditto!
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

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Allan, Jin, Bud and Kevin had already crawled out from under the table- Bud a bit perplexed as to why SHE saw fit to hide-
"WHAT the hell was THAT?!?" swore Allan as he surveyed the smoke in the air along with other guests. Mr. Stookey... (ok, as you wish it)... Paul came out from behind an adjacent table saying, "Well, it was a BIG shotgun or a SMALL cannon... either way, it seems disarmed,"
"Are you alright, Paul?" Bud asked.
"Well, there's no holes in me and my shorts are clean... I think... yea, they're clean. Thank GOD I'm on beta-blockers or that would have been it for me,"
"Paul?" Allan asked as he looked at the man, "... don't I know you from somewhere...?"
"Y'know, people ask me that all the time- I'm not sure I know why..."
"'Cause he looks like everyone's favorite Grampa!" giggled Bud.
"And he plays pretty good music. Sings rather well too..." added Kevin.
Jin had a big grin on her face as she surveyed the man in question- he gave her a slight wink... she nodded just enough for him to see.
"Did I hear you call for champagne? What, might I ask, is the occasion?" Paul addressed the four of them.

"OK- that... answers... that... " Katherine stammered, still highly embarrassed, "... but how is it you know so much about me?"
" You're... joking, right? We have our own news system, you know... and for a while there, you dominated the headlines. The more I read about you, the more I wanted to meet you. Then I heard you would be here..."
"WAIT A MINUTE! Headlines? And... and you've been following me through the headlines? NOW you're scaring me..."
"I JUST WANTED TO MEET YOU! Everybody else was too scared to even say 'hello'. I figured if you told me 'SCRAM", then at least I met you and would leave you alone... and if that is more than you can handle, then I WILL leave you alone..."
"NO!!! ... that is, no, I am not telling you to leave... it's just that... Buck, right?"
"Yes'm"
"Buck... men don't usually... pay much... attention to me... and the truth is, I'm not used to this sort of thing... it can be quite scary at times... people were afraid to even say 'hello'?"
"Yes'm- you're a BIG TIME hero among us paranormals, you and your daughter both. THAT holds a GREAT DEAL of weight, especially among us that can be killed... and centaurs are QUITE mortal, our lifespans are no different from your own... I really just wanted to meet you, you know,"
Katherine smiled nervously, then extended her hand to his- "I don't suppose... we might go dancing again... at some future time...?"
Buck, wide eyed, took her hand... then let out a loud, wild whinny.
Kathy didn't speak horse, but it sounded like a decent translation could be found in the Marine Corps statement, "HOOAAH!!!"

"So Nudge smuggled a shotgun into here for the wedding? AND THEN proceeded to get KNEE WALKIN', TOILET HUGGIN' DRUNK?!? WHAT WAS THAT THING LOADED WITH?!?" snarled Phix.
"Black magic blanks- there's a semi-permiable wad between the primer and the charge. The primer disrupts the load, mixing in lots of air- THEN it ignites. Triples the burn rate... quadruples breach pressure. It's a blank that recoils... and sounds like small artillery. It's been known to burst weak barrels," the bartender informed her.
"I will be slow and deliberate with her..." she growled.
"Now dear, she caused a little disturbance... there's no need to disembowel her..."
"I am talking about her HANGOVER tomorrow- I will also be QUITE LOUD!"
Last edited by Sgt. Howard on Sat Jul 25, 2015 9:11 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by Dave »

Sgt. Howard wrote:"Black magic blanks- there's a semi-permiable wad between the primer and the charge. The primer disrupts the load, mixing in lots of air- THEN it ignites. Triples the burn rate... quadruples breach pressure. It's a blank that recoils... and sounds like small artillery. It's been known to burst weak barrels," the bartender informed her.
Especially if it's an old Damascus twist barrel, right? ;)
"I am talking about her HANGOVER tomorrow- I will also be QUITE LOUD!"
I'd say that the penalty there pretty much defines itself. One hangover, one shotgun, and one black magic blank as an alarm clock... :twisted:
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

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Justin looked over the whole scene- there was still evidence of pandemonium, yet people's attitudes were returning to party mode. He turned to Shelly (Who was still in feral) and asked,"Did you see what it was?"
"Yeah," she responded, "Nudge had a shotgun and was drunk... flea-brained idiot! You alright, honey?"
"A bit startled... I'll survive... is this the remains of your dress?"
"Yea... and If I go nude, that might upstage my Grandma's wedding... you know, SHE can drop to human form without having to find clothes... I ought to ask her how..."
"You might want to wait a bit- she's right over there and looks none-too-pleased with things... I suspect she's thinking up something horrible to do with Nudge..."
"Huh- wait 'till tomorrow morning and grab a trombone... there's Jin, Bud, Allan, Kevin ...and Paul! They seem a bit excited about something- here, get up on my shoulders... let's mosey over and see what's going on,"
"...?... isn't that Paul Stookey? as in 'Peter, Paul and Mary'?"
"Yes, but don't bring it up unless HE does- he prefers to NOT be a celebrity here..."

Arania sensed that something was amiss, that something that SHOULD have happened DIDN'T. She padded about, keeping close to Phix, waiting for Neil's demise... to no avail. Something interceded- that something HAD to be the young Siren who dis-armed Nudge.

And now she was wearing gauntlets over human hands and a satchel with an iron chain in it!

She thought about it for moment- her situation was suspicious at the very least. Might be best to loose the paraphernalia and resume security duties....

"Arania? Why are you wearing gloves?" asked Phix.
Last edited by Sgt. Howard on Sat Jul 25, 2015 9:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by GlytchMeister »

Ah-ha! Many Worlds Theory!
Phix wrote:Arania? Why are you wearing gloves?
I can almost hear the Metal Gear "!" sound in Ariana's head.
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by Dave »

GlytchMeister wrote:Ah-ha! Many Worlds Theory!
Phix wrote:Arania? Why are you wearing gloves?
I can almost hear the Metal Gear "!" sound in Ariana's head.
It's one of those moments when you can feel your adrenal gland clench and spasm, so hard it hurts. You don't even have time enough to say a single word, before your heart and lungs go into panic overdrive and you can't say a single word.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

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Dave wrote:
Sgt. Howard wrote:"Black magic blanks- there's a semi-permiable wad between the primer and the charge. The primer disrupts the load, mixing in lots of air- THEN it ignites. Triples the burn rate... quadruples breach pressure. It's a blank that recoils... and sounds like small artillery. It's been known to burst weak barrels," the bartender informed her.
Especially if it's an old Damascus twist barrel, right? ;)
"I am talking about her HANGOVER tomorrow- I will also be QUITE LOUD!"
I'd say that the penalty there pretty much defines itself. One hangover, one shotgun, and one black magic blank as an alarm clock... :twisted:
Chancy every time you use it. Black Magics are very tempermental and require a seperate set of saftey rules... the blank would serve as an alarm clock, yes... but I am debating between a trombone, glockespiel or accordion... or maybe have a begining violinist...
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by Sgt. Howard »

Dave wrote: It's one of those moments when you can feel your adrenal gland clench and spasm, so hard it hurts. You don't even have time enough to say a single word, before your heart and lungs go into panic overdrive and you can't say a single word.

... like when her Dad walks in on the two of you... or worse yet, her husband...
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

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OHHHH.

Sorry, I had to look back at the original.
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

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A very harassed looking waiter was serving bubbly in an odd assortment of vessels- three were wine flutes with the stems held together with duck tape- as Justin rode Shelly up to the two couples. Alan hailed them, telling the waiter "Those two as well,". The waiter handed Justin a tall coffee cup full and gave Shelly a quart Mason jar that was almost too full. Then Allan hoisted his pewter tankard and offered,
"To the newest member of this insanity... we haven't even talked about names yet... may he or she grow strong, wise and good-looking!"
Shelly and Justin raised their vessels slowly, both looking quite confused until Shelly saw Jin rub her belly...
"Justin!!! BABY ON BOARD!!!" she shouted, pointing at Jin... Jin smiled a smile that could light the room.
"OHO!!!" Justin roared, "INDEED! To the little rascal's future... Allan, you'd better hope the little one looks like Momma,"
Lifting the back of his hand to his forehead in melodramatic fashion, Allan cried out, "Already with the insults! YOU, sir, shall hear from my SECOND!"
"But I AM your second! Do you have a third?"
"I'll see your third and raise you a fifth,"
"I would plead the fifth, but I already drank it,"

It went on... and got worse...

"OMGOMGOMG!!!!" Shelly blurted, " How long have you known?"
"Just found out this morning... " Jin beamed as she spoke, "...told 'Wiseass' (looking at Allan) here just before Wyatt Earp crashed the party,"
"That was 'Calamity Nudge'- some mental midget gave her a shotgun and she went full redneck with the stupid thing after she had a good toot going"
Bud perked up nervously- "... Nudge? ... she had a shotgun? ... did ... did anyone...?"
"Nobody got hurt, but SHE will pay the piper tomorrow when Phix gets a hold of her- hey, you gonna wait until you're showing before you two tie the knot? That seems to be a thing nowdays," she smirked as she looked at Phix and Neil- then turned back to those at the table.
"Girls! We HAVE to do the 'baby shower' thing! Have Phix in on it as well! Monica, Brandy, Katherine, Atsali... Bud... Bud, honey, what's wrong?"
Bud was silently weeping, eyes closed. Without warning, she turned and ran off in another direction before anyone could stop her...

"I asked you, 'why are you wearing gloves?'... and I expect the truth," Phix stated in a rather ... quiet... but intense manner.
"Truth? You want the truth? I'll give you the truth... and hope you can handle it..."
In one swift motion, Arania pulled the iron chain out of the satchel and went to swing it around Phix's neck.
But Phix was not where the chain was swinging- she had side stepped at the last moment. The chain continued in it's circle and struck Arania across the face... leaving a smoking, burnt patch of pink flesh and singed hair, as if it were white-hot!
Screaming, Arania dropped the chain and clutched her face.

Neil picked up the chain.

"What part of your oath was unclear?" he asked as he approached the trembling Apo with the chain in his hands...

"You really.... studied me... from your media? ... What makes me so ... so... so interesting?"
Buck rumbled a laugh... "Where would I start? You're smart, brave (Kathy snorted at that)... no, really... you ARE brave! And strong, resourceful... to say nothing of DAMN fine looking (now she burst into giggles)- NOW I MEAN IT!! Don't you go laughing at what I say- I mean every word of it! And there's plenty who will back up every word of what I have just said... why is that so hard to believe?"
Kathy looked into those dangerous eyes- and tried to see anything that could be a warning... to no avail...
"You... you're not able to lie, are you?"
He cocked his head- "... Why would I want to? The truth is far easier to remember for one thing... secondly, what could I embellish? Res ispa loquitur... "the thing speaks for itself"... just because YOU do not recognize these things... doesn't make them not so,"
"Latin?... you're studying ... law?"
"Graduated in '12- been in practice ever since,"
"But... you... cannot lie..."
"... and THAT scares the whole court," he smiled.
Last edited by Sgt. Howard on Sat Oct 17, 2020 11:34 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by jwhouk »

Who was saying what in that section with the "OMGOMGOMG!" part? Atsali?
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by Sgt. Howard »

jwhouk wrote:Who was saying what in that section with the "OMGOMGOMG!" part? Atsali?
Corrected
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

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Bud ran blindly between tears and panic, only to plow into someone a short distance away. Shaking her head to clear her eyes, she looked over to see Monica sprawled on the floor.
"Oh crap!!! I'm so sorry, I'm sorry, are you alright? I.... I..." and tears resumed enough to block out speech.
"Bud? Bud, honey, what's wrong? What's going on?" Monica asked.
Bud couldn't answer. With great effort, and some Spanish profanity, Monica crawled over to her and held her. That is how Kevin found them, Monica holding Bud to her bust with Bud crying.

Brandy had just gotten over to Tina's stand and was surveying the semi-chaos of the party. Tina looked at her and stated, "You'll have to tell me what you want, dear- I cannot read auras that don't exist,"
"Not sure you could provide it anyway," Brandy replied, "Jin is pregnant, Phix is married, Bud is having an emotional crisis and Kevin AND Monica are there for her support, Kathy has a stallion sniffing at her tail while Justin is riding Shelly bareback... and I'm happy for all of them, but kinda wondering what's to happen to me?"
"You're right, I can't provide you with much in that line... kinda deficient there myself,"
They both surveyed the scene, a little dreamy eyed....
"Tell you what," Brandy finally stated, "Do me up an 'Americano' with an extra shot of espresso and enough room for three fingers of Bacardi 151," she said as she nodded her head at the makeshift bar.
Tina worked her magic, but presented Brandy with TWO tall coffees.
"Wha... I only need one, girl,"
"I know- I want FOUR fingers in mine, please,"

"What was THAT all about?" Allan asked no one in particular as Kevin left to see to Bud.
"No clue- we were talking about Nudge's little stupidity and she just 'puddled up' and scampered," Justin replied.
"Monica has her- Kevin is there... awkward, but she seems in good hands..." Shelly observed.
"Bud is a golom, right?" Paul asked.
All heads nodded.
"... Can she get pregnant?"
Everyone grasped the significance of the question right away. Shelly, with Justin still on her shoulders, padded over to the trio. Alan and Jin watched- Alan turned to her and started to ask, "Should we..."
"No," Jin softly replied, "We... that is, I... am part of the problem. She'll be fine," she looked at him, "what about us?"
"What about us? We're going to have a baby,"
"Will that baby have your last name?"
"OH! CRAP! I hadn't thought about that!"
"Nor I- until Shelly brought it up, that is,"
Paul saw where this was going- "I see you two have much to talk about- I'll find myself some other company and let you two be," he said with a smile, "... but should you need my services, I think I can manage that..."
"Thanks, Paul," Jin smiled as she spoke.
"Yea, thank you..." Allan screwed up his face in thought as Paul walked away, "That... that... that was 'Paul', as in 'Peter, Paul and Mary', right?"
"You are such a delightful dipweed, you know that?"
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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Sgt. Howard
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by Sgt. Howard »

"I will come up with how to deal with you later," Neil growled at Arania, "but for now you will be chained to the wall. Meanwhile, I have a celebration to attend to,"
Phix regarded her cooly- "... do you have anything specific in mind?"
"Not yet... I want to think about it. There's so many possibilities... but right now, this is for us. There was some commotion over at Jin and Allan's table just before the shoot-out... and I want to thank Atsali for her courage and quick thinking. And... who was that Chippendale that was prancing Katherine all over the floor? I never knew she could dance like that,"
Just then, Amanda came over. She had been doing the wedding in the finest traditions, avoiding the role of 'Ringmaster' and letting the process flow of it's own accord. There had been a few staged shots of course, but not a great deal thereof.
"There's one shot we HAVE to get... but I'm not sure how to do it," she stated.
"What's that?" asked Neil.
"We need someone to stand in for the Father of the bride with that stupid shotgun!"
"NO WAY!!" Phix snorted, "I am NOT going to turn this into a 'shotgun wedding'!"
"Oh, come on- this is just for giggles,"
"Fine..." she glared at Neil, still trying to be angry, "... and who will stand in for 'Daddy'?"
"You need someone to give the Bride away?" Paul asked as he approached, "I thought that should have been part of the ceremony,"
Neil, Phix and Amanda looked at Paul, all with the same thought.
"What?' Paul asked.

"Bud, talk to me... what's wrong?" Monica coo'd while Kevin kneeled next to them.
"I... I knew... about... Nudge and... and that... stupid gun... and... and... I did... I did nothing ... to stop her... and... and... somebody... could'a got..." she got out between sobs.
"Bud, listen to me- Nudge is responsible for Nudge, not you! But... you should have told somebody- why didn't you?"
"I... I got... distracted... "
Monica looked up at Kevin and started filling in the lines. Yea, he is a distraction alright.
"Kevin, I think this ought to be your ball of wax- here, help me up and take care of her,"
Awkwardly, Monica got off the floor and between the two of them delivered Bud into Kevin's arms... then she walked (stiffly) over to where Allan and Jin were in conversation just as Shelly padded over with Justin onboard.
"Is she alright?" Shelly asked.
"She will be- apparently she knew that Nudge was armed and feels she should have done more to prevent something from happening. Why are you in feral?"
"That gunblast startled me, and I ripped my dress to shreds in the transition- did you hear? Jin's pregnant!"
"NO! NO WAY!!!"
"DUDE! WAY!!!"
"NUH-UH!!!"
"UH-HUH!!!"
Wide eyed, Monica scampered over to Jin and Allan, squealing all the way, leaving Shelly and Justin in the dust.
"Well, you made HER day," observed Justin.
"Yea... Honey, do you ever wonder about us? I mean, where do we go from here?"
"We're both immortal... we have time to think about these things... do you want a baby?... or a wedding?"
"Both, I think... but not just yet... like you said, we have time... right now, I just want clothes..."

"You do know, I am NOT comfortable holding this thing," Paul stated as he held the shotgun next to Neil for the picture.
"We BOTH have checked it- it is unloaded- just act the part of the grumpy Daddy," replied Neil.
"Alright- Phix, gimme your best blond smile- Neil, glance at the muzzels apprehensively, 'Daddy', look real mean... THAT'S IT! (snachik!) THAT'S PERFECT (snachik!snachik!) these will be beautiful!" Amanda purred as she worked her camera.
"Just make sure they never go public!" Paul grumbled.
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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GlytchMeister
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by GlytchMeister »

Sarge, this is so much better than the Happily-Ever-After headcanon I was stubbornly holding on to.

Just sayin.
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He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
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Sgt. Howard
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Re: A VERY happy wedding...

Post by Sgt. Howard »

GlytchMeister wrote:Sarge, this is so much better than the Happily-Ever-After headcanon I was stubbornly holding on to.

Just sayin.
Hang on to your seat son, I'm just warming up...
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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