Visiting Minnesota

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Sgt. Howard
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Visiting Minnesota

Post by Sgt. Howard »

Greg Howard stepped out of the library portal, expecting to be in the outhouse at the far end of Roger Oyler's alfalfa field- instead, he found asphalt and concrete, traffic noise, garbage cans and and stray cats.

He was in an alley. One he had never seen before.

He turned around to try the door he just came through- no go. Knocked- no answer. So he then turned towards the nearest street.

Cars filled the streets, people filled the sidewalks, noise filled the air- a far cry from the sedate existance of Okanogan County, Eastern Washington State. It reminded Greg of the cacophany of the South Bay area where he was originonally from. Scanning a passing vehicle, he noticed the Minnesota tags... and then another... and another... then one from Wisconsin... another Minnesota... somebody from North Dakota... Michigan... Minnesota...
He saw a newspaper machine- seemed pretty clear he was in either St. Paul or Minniapolis MInnesota. Fascinating. He made note of the alley he came out of and dialed his wife at home.
"Hey luv," came Annie's voice over the phone- "What's up?"
"Darlin' it seems I took a wrong turn at the library and wound up in Minnesota- and I'm having trouble getting back,"
"YOU... DID... WHAT?!?"
"... uh... I am in Minnesota, and I have no idea how I got here,"
There was a thundering silence over the line... then Annies' voice, in a deliberate, frightening tone, said- "Think really hard... then get your ass home," Click.

... well, THAT was pretty clear... now how to do it... might be a bit of a challenge...
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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lake_wrangler
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by lake_wrangler »

Interesting start.

A follow-up on the last one, I presume? Now that you have copied the Harley Davidson 1912 plans (did I get the year right, from memory?), you were trying to get home, but the library seems to have played a joke on you?

I'm curious to see where this will lead.
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jwhouk
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by jwhouk »

Probably a visit to Caribou Coffee... ;)
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by GlytchMeister »

Let's just hope this one doesn't end in a bloodbath...
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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Sgt. Howard
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by Sgt. Howard »

Not to worry- this is just yours truly wandering the streets of Wapsi world much like Dorothy in Oz. I promise I will not seduce, murder, deface or malign whilst in this realm... and this represents AFTER a few month's worth of visiting the library as opposed to walking out with HD blueprints under my belt
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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jwhouk
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by jwhouk »

I sat down with my cup of Caramel High-rise at one of the "high chair" tables at Caribou Coffee.

Heh, wait until the boards get a load of this picture.

I set up my iPad with the stand, and snapped a "selfie" of me and my coffee.

Nice.

I then logged in to the Wi-Fi network, and logged in to the Wapsi Square Forum message boards.

Guess where I am posting this from? Hint: I'm drinking a Caramel high-rise and looking out at the parking lot of a Lund's Grocery store. ;)

I sipped casually on my drink after hitting "Submit". Second time this year I'd managed to do a road trip to Minneapolis. I was actually starting to like Caribou Coffee, for some reason.

This time, I wanted to do some close-ups of the two "portal" doors. I'd already gotten a good one of the Stevens Avenue door at what was now the Abbot Apartments. Unfortunately, I had to walk away embarrassed when a resident came out just as I was going to take a photo of me grabbing the door handle.

I looked at my watch. Hate to have to sip-and-run, but that drive back to central Wisconsin didn't give me much leeway with my itinerary. I got up, smiled briefly at the barista (again, no satyrs that I could see) and headed out the door to drop off my iPad and get my "real" camera for the picture of the back of Chino Latino.
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by jwhouk »

I grabbed my camera and headed out and around to the alley between the Lund's parking lot and the back of Chino Latino's. Fiddling a bit with the settings, I nearly bumped into an older gentleman.

"Excuse me," he said briefly. I looked at him a little funny - he was a bit overdressed for a day in mid-May. Leather cap, leather bomber jacket.

"No problem," I said, heading down to the alley. I was about to take an "establishing" shot - since I hadn't taken one of the alley itself last time - and I had to pause for a moment.

That guy looked familiar, I said to myself. And, a bit lost.

I shrugged and took the picture, then walked down to the doorway, marked "2916 Hennepin Avenue". I decided not to take a "me grabbing the door handle" picture this time, but I took a couple of photos of the entry - ramp, railing and all.

I stopped for a moment - there was something lying on the ground, just to the side of the door. It looked like... a fishing lure?

Nahhh.

I went back to my car. I had a schedule to keep, and it was getting to be about the time when I needed to consider getting back on the road.

Think I might go take a pic of that bench again before I head home. That should get some looks from the board members.
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
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Sgt. Howard
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by Sgt. Howard »

Greg went back into the alleyway to try the door one more time... to no avail. Disgusted with the turn of events, he nearly collided with a fellow who was fussing with a... a something. It turned out to be a camera.
"Excuse me," he blurted out without thinking.
The other fellow gave him a quick once-over, commented "No problem," and went about his way... and stopped to take a picture of the door Greg had just tried to open. Odd, Greg thought- but that in itself is no help. He went searching for a place for a quiet sit-down.
Back out on the street, Greg noticed it was rather warm- far warmer than he would have expected. His jacket and cap might have been what the fellow was looking at... Okanogan had just been through an unseasonable cold snap... so much for global warming... yet here, Spring was quite apparent.

After a couple of blocks, he found a coffee shop called "Mucho Mocha"- sure, why not? He had some spending shekels in his pocket- a bit of caffination might help... or at least, couldn't hurt.

The barista inside was something else entirely- silver eyes, a Barbi-doll smile, long skinny neck and raven black hair. Greg almost expected to see an electrical umbilical where she plugged in to a computer.

"Oh my, you are QUITE lost, aren't you?" she immediately piped up, "... what's more, you have no clue how you got here,"

Greg could only stare at her for a response.

"Hmmm... ex-military... musician... AND singer, that's VERY cool... married... and usually you want strong coffee sweetened with molasses, but I think I'll pamper you with some ground 'Abuelita' chocolate and goat's milk... and we DO have the best apple fritters in the state, if you are so inclined,"

It took a bit for Greg to recover- finally, he responded, "Well- you are NOT Flat Bush Idiot or Crackpot Intelligence Agency... those two couldn't get this sort of info anywhere near correct... and if you were Army intel, I can't imagine why you would bother. You're NOT NSA- you would not drop your hand on the table like that, not without first telling me what you would want... to say NOTHING of the fact that this amount of research to confront me in what was certainly a random event, that is , my showing up here... who are you?"

"Tina Guzman- owner and operator of the finest coffee shop in the Twin Cities... AND possibly the one person who can help you,"

Greg half expected to hear the theme to "Twilight Zone" pipe up out of nowhere.
"All right... you definitely have my attention- how do you know this?"
"I read auras- and I HAD to dump that level of info to prove my credentials to you, am I correct?"
"... well, yeah... I suppose so..."
"But first, your coffee... and the fritters?"
"Two, please,"
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by GlytchMeister »

I am suddenly reminded of a little bit of fanfic Jwhouk wrote a while ago. He wound up in Wapsitown too.
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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Sgt. Howard
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by Sgt. Howard »

The coffee was absolutely splendid- and the fritters perfectly decadent. The barista kept herself busy while Greg indulged... she knew when to speak and when to be silent, it appeared. Another patron walked in, a regular by the sounds of the conversation. Greg did his level best not to stare at her, but it was not easy- she was not even five foot tall with a top rack that Dolly Parton would envy. Rather like a ten-year-old girl had been fitted with 1950's Cadillac bumper bullets. Greg managed to not snort out loud at the thought of the IHOP term, 'short stack' and how it might apply here.
"... and this fellow over here got himself shut out of the library here instead of home... Sir? I never did ask- where's home for you?"
Greg was a bit startled by this- "Wow... does the whole city know about the library?"
"Of course not- you just happened to stumble into a focal point for those who do. This is Monica Villarreal, she is actually very familiar with the library- and I never caught your name...?"
"Hah! I'm surprised you couldn't rattle it off for me- you read out everything but my 201 file just a moment ago... " turning to Monica, Greg stated, "I am Gregory Francis Howard, home for me is in Eastern Washington State and I would be ETERNALLY grateful if you could help me get there,"
"Washington? As in the West coast? You ARE far from home, Greg- what entrance did you come out from?"
"Please call me 'Howard'- my hearing is poor, and that is easier to discern... well, there is this alley between a grocery store parking lot and a place called 'Chino Latino's'..."
"I know that one... odd... where do you normally find yourself when you leave the library?"
"Out near the edge of a neighbor's alfalfa field- there's this old outhouse, you see..."
Both girls started to laugh at this- and Greg himself had to admit it sounded rather funny.
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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Sgt. Howard
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by Sgt. Howard »

After Monica had her French Press with lemon zest, she and Greg set off for the alleyway - but no sooner had they exited the coffe shop than Greg noticed the approach of a tall, skinny woman... and a quick change in Monica's body language... combined with a slight blush... the other woman's body language changed as well- THAT was when Greg recognised her, as she had graced the cover of TIME magazine as "Runway Royalty" supermodel Georgette Sundahl. They came to each other and embraced... the scent of pheromones was heavy and intoxicating... and the implications staggering... the "National Exaggerator" had often hinted that Georgette was a lesbian (because she had never been seen in the escort of a man), but there was never more than rumor to it.

Yet there was no doubt in Greg's mind that these two were lovers. For once, the 'Exaggerator' got it right...

Odd pairing, he thought. Monica introduced Georgette to Greg and vice-versa, Greg made no mention of knowing how she earned her keep (and nobody else brought it up), and so the threesome continued to the alleyway that might bring Greg home.
"And what do you do for a living?" Georgette asked him.
"I work in surgery as a technition," He replied, "I stand next to the Surgeon, hand instruments, hold retraction, keeps things organized and tell bad jokes. 'Been doing that since 1977,"
Both girls looked at him in wonder- "I had never heard of that job before," Georgette ventured, "What got you into it?"
Greg snorted a laugh- "... A bad exit from an aircraft- my one time going 'out the door' went horribly wrong, so I got sent to Ft. Sam Houston to be trained as a Medic, and from there I went to tech school. Cast, crutches and all I learned how to be a 'bedpan commando',"
"... you were in the military?"
"Army Medical Corps- not quite like being in the Army, but technically, yea..."
"What were you training to do before that?"

The conversation broke off when a short, rough looking character jumped out from around a corner with a knife and demanded, "Give me your money!!!"
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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Sgt. Howard
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by Sgt. Howard »

The gentle reader might not understand some of the remarkable idiosyncrasies of knife fighting, so hopefully this quick dissertation will enlighten you-

Knife fighting is, by nature, a brutal and filthy business. Even the 'winner' often looks pretty much the lost, as knives win by attrition of blood and flesh. While practice knives can allow a relatively safe education in the matter, one's journeymanship into this realm is paid for in lost tissue and scars. Thus, it is only feasible to engage in such activity when;
1) one is competent in the matter or
2) one's opponent is unarmed or
3) one has the element of surprise and murder is the intent or
4) one has no other viable choice

-with that in mind, if you are facing a knife- wielding problem, to run or pull a firearm would be your better choices.

Greg had no gun and two ladies in tow.

Without thinking, he put himself between the women and the assailant. Reaching into his pocket, he pulled a Leatherman Wingman and opened the blade one-handed, then rotated it to the little finger side of his hand with the edge facing away- classic eastern technique. Taking a stance with his right side leading, he let the left side of his mouth go slack to better display the scar across his lower left jaw... all these maneuvers he had practiced in front of a mirror many, many times to get the right effect, knowing that a 2 & 1/4" blade in itself would not be very intimidating.

He was scared shitless... but he wasn't going to show it to THIS lowlife!

"Well, maggot- let's see what YOU'RE made of," he softly growled.

His opponent stood still as granite.

"I think your face is too pretty to know what I know," Greg added to the taunt.

The man still didn't move.

Greg couldn't stand it any further- "WELL?!?!?!" he bellowed.

Then he smelled urine. "Oh LORD please let that NOT be me..." he prayed silently- then he saw the dark stain appearing in the little man's crotch, spreading to the left leg...

Apparently, Georgette saw it too because she pointed it out to Monica... both girls burst out laughing while the man turn and fled... as fast as his wet pants would let him.
"Well, I am impressed," Georgette finally managed after Greg folded his knife and faced them.
"You made him pee his pants!!!" Monica squealed.
"Yeah, well he only JUST beat me to it," Greg admitted, "... stupid little berk- crap, If I come back to this town I will DEFINITELY have to pack my C&C... assuming Minnesota reciprocates with Washington. This kind of stuff never happens where I'm from,"
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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lake_wrangler
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by lake_wrangler »

Once more, an interesting read. Is the knife wielding guy is the psychologist who went after Amanda twice, in the past?

By the way, just like the girls, I have never heard of the job of technition... ;)

Meanwhile, as we used to say on the CRFH!!! forum, I want to see MOAR!
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by jwhouk »

(For the record, that wasn't me, common name aside...)
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
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Sgt. Howard
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by Sgt. Howard »

jwhouk wrote:(For the record, that wasn't me, common name aside...)

I guess I should make the same disclaimer... and YES, that was our favorite over-educated moron...

A surgican technition does exactly as described. The pay is good. The hours suck. The toll it takes on you is remarkable. You see a lot of people get better. You see quite a bit of death. You learn that regardless of race, creed, gender (or confusion thereof), political affiliation, age or whatever... once you get past the skin, we are all DISGUSTING inside.
Rule 17 of the Bombay Golf Course- "You shall play the ball where the monkey drops it,"
I speak fluent Limrick-
the Old Sgt.
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jwhouk
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by jwhouk »

---

I decided, instead of taking 35W back to 94, to take one last cruise back into downtown. I'd forgotten during my last journey to MSP to swing by the coffee shop that may (or may not) have been inspiration for Tina's Mucho Mocha - The Boiler Room Cafe.

Unfortunately, I got a bit turned around - Did I mention how narrow the streets are in Minneapolis, even the main drags? - and I ended up heading back on 26th, which was one-way in the wrong direction from where I wanted to go.

Some idiot in a Passat wasn't letting me get over to the right-hand lane, so I ended up missing Lyndale. I was in the middle of cursing the stupid Minnesota drivers when a curly-haired guy in a stocking hat nearly planted himself on my front hood. Fortunately, I had my brakes checked after the long Wisconsin winter (and subsequent potholes), so I missed him by a foot or so.

I gave him the universal, "What do you think you're DOING?" hand gestures, and he took off across 26th to the alley on the north side of the street.

Weird, I thought. He looked terrified. I looked down the alley, and only saw a small SUV parked next to another Yoga place.

Those things are all over the place, I thought.

I turned down the next side street and worked my way carefully down to 27th.

I'll get out of here eventually.
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by GlytchMeister »

Are you guys coordinating this?
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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jwhouk
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by jwhouk »

GlytchMeister wrote:Are you guys coordinating this?
...Not quite.

Kinda like the narrative. ;)
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
"You should never run from the voices in your head. That's how you give them power." - Jin
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GlytchMeister
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by GlytchMeister »

jwhouk wrote:
GlytchMeister wrote:Are you guys coordinating this?
...Not quite.

Kinda like the narrative. ;)
It's actually kinda neat having two people tell two woven stories.
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!
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lake_wrangler
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Re: Visiting Minnesota

Post by lake_wrangler »

Sgt. Howard wrote:and YES, that was our favorite over-educated moron...
Ha! Peged it! Nice to know he still has the same strength of character... :lol:

Sgt. Howard wrote:A surgican technition does exactly as described.
I can't tell if you're doing this on purpose, or accidentally...

Did you mean a surgical technician?
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