Patent applications: devices for cat lovers (or otherwise)

[Fairportfan]

As i read the article, I was thinking of Dick Orkin's "Kitty Lickers" radio spot (for i forget what), which revolved around an executive being fascinated by a funding pitch by the inventor of a device to make sealing envelopes easier by immobilising the cat and forcing it to stick out its tongue...

Man, i wonder how many of the people behind these things actually have cats.

This one is an example of why i wonder:

"Another Device for Restraining a Cat"



Meanwhile, Ruby Y. Young's "Cat Restrainer" looks like a horror film-approved torture device. The patent describes it as "a combination of a harness and frame assembly to provide a cat bathing, treating, breeding, transporting, and surgical restraint." Yikes.

Now this guy, OTOH, either loves his cat or hates sparrows (or, of course, both):

"Bird Trap and Cat Feeder"



But Leo O. Voelker doesn't want to save the birds - or sparrows, anyway. His grisly "Bird Trap and Cat Feeder" is "designed to catch birds the size of a sparrow while releasing smaller song birds, wrens, swallows, or the like. The feeder providing means for continuously supplying a cat or neighborhood cats with sparrows to eat." The device delivers sparrows into a mesh cage; when the bird sticks its head through the mesh opening, the cat can grab it with its paw and pull it out - bon appétit!

[Mark N]

Now I need the Brain Bleach.

[Dave]

**SHUDDER**

The latter reminds me a bit of the idea Spider Robinson' sentient-dog character Ralph von Wau Wau proposed... a dog food made exclusively from the bodies of small birds. "Wren Din Din."

[NOTDilbert]

Re: Another Device for Restraining a Cat

Either he or his cat is heavy into D-S or S & M. Seems like I saw that thing in an 'adult products' catalog, way back when....

[MerchManDan]

"Bird Trap and Cat Feeder"

As if cats NEED help catching birds.