Wapsi Square Forum

Wow, never made one of these before.

Comic

How does one procreate on a cracker, and how does one then get such an act blessed by The Almighty?

I believe Castela's gams are a rival to mine in chunkyness.

TheCollector wrote:Wow, never made one of these before.

When ever given the opportunity to do so, I have chosen to abstain. Way to much "You didn't do it right" for my liking.

Cheesy1 wrote:How does one procreate on a cracker, and how does one then get such an act blessed by The Almighty?

Well, there are plenty of records of cults or religions which many historians say incorporated "sacred marriage" - ritual sex between priests, priestesses, royalty, and/or commoners. In some cases it was apparently seen as a way of legitimizing a king or queen's rule - he/she would be "married" to a representative of a god or goddess, thus confirming the ruler's semi-divine nature.

Doing it on a cracker, though? That sounds distinctly uncomfortable... possibly that's why the practice died out. Too many itchy crumbs in embarrassing places... bad for royal dignity.

I'm a little confused on this. I thought she had quite a large amount of control over her body and shape. Shouldn't it be as simple as stretching and reshaping for her to fix this particular problem?

At least she can still wear normal shoe sizes that fit proper.

I've recently had to bump up to a men's 12 6E because New Balance discontinued the last 11-and-a-half 6E that actually fit. And (of course) nobody makes a 8E*. BTW, my foot length is a men's 9-and-a-half.

If I were a para in the Wapsiverse, I'd probably be some sort of duck creature.

*unless you're willing to drop $300+ USD on a custom order.

Cheesy1 wrote:How does one procreate on a cracker, and how does one then get such an act blessed by The Almighty?

Well, if the lady is a real 'cracker' , then there is no problem at all....

Oh yes, and get ready for the 'cankle' contest!!!

Cortanis wrote:I'm a little confused on this. I thought she had quite a large amount of control over her body and shape. Shouldn't it be as simple as stretching and reshaping for her to fix this particular problem?

she probably has the control, and she probably never paid attention to her ankles, yet. the ( probably ) near future will show what she actually can do. i imagine, nadine and bernardette have no problems either, as we have seen in the past ...

Dave wrote:

Cheesy1 wrote:How does one procreate on a cracker, and how does one then get such an act blessed by The Almighty?

Well, there are plenty of records of cults or religions which many historians say incorporated "sacred marriage" - ritual sex between priests, priestesses, royalty, and/or commoners. In some cases it was apparently seen as a way of legitimizing a king or queen's rule - he/she would be "married" to a representative of a god or goddess, thus confirming the ruler's semi-divine nature.

Doing it on a cracker, though? That sounds distinctly uncomfortable... possibly that's why the practice died out. Too many itchy crumbs in embarrassing places... bad for royal dignity.

First of all... it's a BIG DAMN CRACKER! BIG! Then you soak it in warm milk to make it soft... and then it gets real messy...

Take a look at Atsali's legs when she was a little younger than you currently are, sweetie.

Gyrrakavian wrote:At least she can still wear normal shoe sizes that fit proper.

I've recently had to bump up to a men's 12 6E because New Balance discontinued the last 11-and-a-half 6E that actually fit. And (of course) nobody makes a 8E*. BTW, my foot length is a men's 9-and-a-half.

If I were a para in the Wapsiverse, I'd probably be some sort of duck creature.

*unless you're willing to drop $300+ USD on a custom order.

My shoes are normal . . . my father and sister need double or triple A, depending on make.

Having to drive 120 miles to find shoes that fit . . .

--FreeFlier

well she does have the attention span of a typical teenager, about 30 seconds.

Cheesy1 wrote:How does one procreate on a cracker, and how does one then get such an act blessed by The Almighty?

Really big communion wafers. Too much communion wine also can play a part.

Cortanis wrote:I'm a little confused on this. I thought she had quite a large amount of control over her body and shape. Shouldn't it be as simple as stretching and reshaping for her to fix this particular problem?

Well, first she'd have had to realise that there was something about her shape that she wanted to change. Apparently, she'd never really paid any attention to her ankles before.

Then there's the question of whether or not she has a natural default humanoid form, or if every aspect of her humanish shape is entirely based on her own whims. Even if she does consciously choose the shape of every part of her body, she might have simply gone with one simple shape when she was a tiny kid and gotten into the habit of keeping that shape.

Catawampus wrote:

Cheesy1 wrote:How does one procreate on a cracker, and how does one then get such an act blessed by The Almighty?

Really big communion wafers. Too much communion wine also can play a part.

That's all good, as long as it's all consensual. No force, no roughness, no coercion.

Otherwise, someone's going to be arrested for a Saltine battery, and the Church doesn't need another scandal right now... the size of the congregation is already crumbling.

Cortanis wrote:I'm a little confused on this. I thought she had quite a large amount of control over her body and shape. Shouldn't it be as simple as stretching and reshaping for her to fix this particular problem?

Well, first she'd have had to realise that there was something about her shape that she wanted to change. Apparently, she'd never really paid any attention to her ankles before.

I think you're right. Castela was usually run around on quite stumpy-looking lower legs... they've always reminded me a bit of an elephant's feet.

http://wapsisquare.com/comic/petting-zoo/
http://wapsisquare.com/comic/castela-xmas-eve-2014/
http://wapsisquare.com/comic/grandma-lily/

She hasn't ever shown much in the way of an ankle, in the usual sense... her legs make a transition right into her feet, with no real narrowing or a visible joint. Her calves are pretty much just cylinders.

Given her underlying construction, that makes all kinds of sense, mechanically... she has no bones, nor any muscles anchored to bone. Her tendrils can flex and weave to take up mechanical stress, and so she has no need for an actual joint.

It's a very natural sort of humanoid form for her to have adopted. It's only now, when she's becoming sensitive to the social impact of her appearance, that it's sinking in that her current humanoid design pattern is less than the stereotyped "ideal" being marketed.

Akasha wrote:

Cortanis wrote:I'm a little confused on this. I thought she had quite a large amount of control over her body and shape. Shouldn't it be as simple as stretching and reshaping for her to fix this particular problem?

she probably has the control, and she probably never paid attention to her ankles, yet. the ( probably ) near future will show what she actually can do. i imagine, nadine and bernardette have no problems either, as we have seen in the past ...

She hasn't really noticed details of human anatomy before... now she is noticing them.

(In the fanfic I'm working on I was going to have her happen upon another character's anatomy texts from medical school... this complicates that idea.)

You know, if Paul's little hint is correct, she may actually be a teenager.

jwhouk wrote:You know, if Paul's little hint is correct, she may actually be a teenager.

"Tweenager" is what she's presenting as... a little younger than Atsali was when her boobs erupted. What I call a 'Bubblegummer'.

FreeFlier wrote:

Gyrrakavian wrote:At least she can still wear normal shoe sizes that fit proper.

I've recently had to bump up to a men's 12 6E because New Balance discontinued the last 11-and-a-half 6E that actually fit. And (of course) nobody makes a 8E*. BTW, my foot length is a men's 9-and-a-half.

If I were a para in the Wapsiverse, I'd probably be some sort of duck creature.

*unless you're willing to drop $300+ USD on a custom order.

My shoes are normal . . . my father and sister need double or triple A, depending on make.

Having to drive 120 miles to find shoes that fit . . .

--FreeFlier

I've gotten to do that.
The nearest custom shoe guy is in Springfield, MO and I live in East-Central Kansas.


Those are too standard 2x4 stud Lego plates.

Damn, Gyrr. Put the hair on the feet too and you'd be part hobbit!

If I had feet like that I'd probably end up making my own shoes out of tires and old leather coats or something.

As it is, I have to buy very high-quality shoes, because of the surgeries I've had due to too-short Achilles' tendons. At least they last a long time... Given enough gorilla tape and superglue.

Ooh, that reminds me I need to glue the soles back on my sneakers...