Wapsi Square Forum

Jabberwonky wrote:Dinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Er, I think so, Brain. But if we give the hippos the tutus, what will the elephants wear?

Seriously, though. Sean Connery for Al. As a younger man in Goldfinger, he made women swoon. He was voted the sexiest man over fifty when he was doing his later appearances. Even well into his seventies, he was still one who would make women bite their lower lip in two short phrases.

Now, if I wanted to upset Sarge Howard, I'd offer as a suggestion Mel Gibson. He's certainly got the crazy for it, and the figure.

My role will be played, of course, by...

Me.

ShneekeyTheLost wrote:

Jabberwonky wrote:Dinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Er, I think so, Brain. But if we give the hippos the tutus, what will the elephants wear?

Seriously, though. Sean Connery for Al. As a younger man in Goldfinger, he made women swoon. He was voted the sexiest man over fifty when he was doing his later appearances. Even well into his seventies, he was still one who would make women bite their lower lip in two short phrases.

Now, if I wanted to upset Sarge Howard, I'd offer as a suggestion Mel Gibson. He's certainly got the crazy for it, and the figure.

The elephants will wear 'G' strings and pasties... Mel Gibson? Perhaps... his face is just a mite too pretty, if ya follow my drift. My face has been known to scare people.

Sgt. Howard wrote:

ShneekeyTheLost wrote:

Jabberwonky wrote:Dinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

Er, I think so, Brain. But if we give the hippos the tutus, what will the elephants wear?

Seriously, though. Sean Connery for Al. As a younger man in Goldfinger, he made women swoon. He was voted the sexiest man over fifty when he was doing his later appearances. Even well into his seventies, he was still one who would make women bite their lower lip in two short phrases.

Now, if I wanted to upset Sarge Howard, I'd offer as a suggestion Mel Gibson. He's certainly got the crazy for it, and the figure.

The elephants will wear 'G' strings and pasties... Mel Gibson? Perhaps... his face is just a mite too pretty, if ya follow my drift. My face has been known to scare people.

We've seen the pictures, you can't fool us!

Sgt. Howard wrote: Mel Gibson? Perhaps... his face is just a mite too pretty, if ya follow my drift. My face has been known to scare people.

Hell, you can't fool me...the webcam lens survived. You ain't THAT ugly.

I could see Mel Gibson.

Were we permitted to choose any actor for a part not depending on their mortal situation, I would suggest Jerry Orbach for Joe. WOrld-wise, a bit weary, bags and bags and bags of integrity - and got snark down to a science.

Connery for Al? Only if ahe signs a paper NEVER to mention the word "Zardoz".

Webcams don't show the scars all that well. That thing about my smile- yea, well I can show you the mark- part of a matched set- left chin, left forearm, right thigh, all from the same knife. I guess I was breathing his air. If he's still alive, he doesn't walk right.

Connery probably wouldn't mention 'Zardoz' if you paid him to do so. Never heard of it until this thread- pulled the link, saw the pictures... laughed until I almost puked.

He was a big ol' man with a beer in his hand and he looked like a drunken fool
and I knew if I hit him right I could knock him off that stool
but everyone kept sayin', "Son- that's Tiger Man McCool,
He's had a whole lotta fights, and he always comes out a winner"

But I had myself about five too many and I walked up tall and proud,
faced his back while I faced the fact that he'd never stooped or bowed,
I said, "Tiger Man, you're a pussy cat," and a hush fell on the crowd,
Let's you an' me go outside an' see who's the winner

He gripped the bar with a big hairy hand an' he braced against the wall,
he slowly looked up from his beer and my GOD that man was tall!
He said, "You look like a scrapper boy- just before you fall,
I'm gonna tell ya what it means t' be a winner

Now you see my big bright smiling teeth? You know they're not my own-
mine rolled away like chicklets down a street in San Antone,
but now I left that person cursin' nursin' seven broken bones-
he only broke FOUR of mine- that makes me the winner...

behind this grin there's a stainless pin- it holds my jaw in place,
a memento of my most successful motorcycle race,
and every morning when I get up and see this scar across my face,
it reminds me of what I get by being a winner

and my busted back was the dying act of one handsome Henry Clay
who got a mite upset the night I stole his bride away,
now that woman, she gets uglier and meaner every day... but I got her
and that makes me the winner (?)

you gotta speak up to challenge me- it's kinda hard to hear,
with this twisted neck and these migraine pains and this cauliflower ear,
and if my left eye weren't made of glass, I'd shed a happy tear,
to think of all you're gonna get by being a winner

'cause I've got arthritic elbows I've got dislocated knees,
from picking fights with thunderstorms and charging into trees,
and my nose been BUST so often- I might loose it if I sneeze
and you're telling me you wanna be a winner?

you remind me a lot of my younger days with your knuckles clenched and white,
but i'm just gonna sit right here and sip this beer all night,
so if there's something you gotta gain or prove by winning some stupid fight-
YOU GOT IT! I QUIT! You're the winner,"

well I stumbled from that barroom not so tall and not so proud,
behind me I still heard the hoots and laughter of the crowd
but my nose still works and my eyes still see and all my teeth are still in my mouth-
you know what? I reckon that makes me THE WINNER!!!

Tiger Man McCool reminds me of a buddy of mine. One of the best fighters I've ever seen. Big, BIG mountain of a man. Has a beard on him that would make Leonidas weep with envy. Torso like an oil barrel, arms like gnarled oak stumps.

Nowadays, he has metal all up and down his spine, a metal knee and hip, they had to nail his other leg back together, got a metal plate where a third of his skull used to be.

In short, he was the biggest fish in town before he found me and retired. I still can't beat the bastard in a fight. That sunovabitch is 10% metal and he still moves faster than I do.

Boss now has the "Eight-Year-Old Phix" as his header on his FB page...

"Curiouser and curiouser," said Alice...