Doing it right...

[jwhouk]

Also: please note that the lower half of that invite is a separate card, ones sent to paranormals and para-friendlies only. I couldn't show that on the original image.

[TazManiac]

yeah, but what's 'Normal', hee hee hee...

[Warrl]

They'll figure it out from the context (and if not, there'll be people in the library inspecting and pointing out the error).

But if the announcement said "human" it would give too much away to incidental viewers such as Sarah here...

[Sgt. Howard]

"Two-one-niner, four-eight-two Bravo, we have a possible 10-32 at 1519 East Twenty-fourth Street, contact Agnes Southard," Crackled the radio in the cruiser.
"Copy four-eight-two-Bravo in rout, E-T-A five Mikes, two-one-niner clear" Justin responded to the radio.
"That's the 'Phillips' district," commented Rob Keeshan, Justin's partner.
"Yea... I know that address too- we've been there before... and not chasing spacecraft, either,"
"OH CRAP! THAT place! There's about half a dozen crankheads in that place, right?"
"Yep- and old lady Southard usually knows what's going on... hit the lights, would you?"
Lights ablaze, the cruiser barreled to it's destination...

Phix was having a difficult time with little Dixie- nothing seemed to settle the little baby girl. Fussy and cranky, she would fuss and whine... but not quite wail. Phix was rather confused... until she noticed a splotch of blood in her mouth. Prying her mouth open, she saw where her upper gum had a puncture.
"What... what have you been chewing on?" she wondered. Looking around, she noticed the broken rattle... that had to have happened when she was feral... and then she chewed on it after she broke it...
"We're gonna have to find you chew toys made out of brass," she muttered...

[Sgt. Howard]

"... with the end results that by advancing his Battalion into the Confederate line WITHOUT flank protection, Sickles managed to totally mess up both Mead''s and Lee's plans on the second day. Hood, however, continued with his orders to take Little Round Top by direct assault- there he met the 20th Maine under Joshua Chamberlin. Charge after charge after charge through rock strewn wooded hillside, running low on ammo until finally...."
As one, the class bellowed back at him, "BAYONETS!!! BAYONETS FORWARD!!!"
Stunned, Neil looked at his giggling charges who had clearly planned this in advance-
"Well... it would appear some of you read the books on this and not just watched the movie," he commented, "yes, those were the orders given- not 'Fix Bayonets!' as Hollywood would have us believe. And yes, that broke the back of the Confederate advance... after that, Hood's division had no will to fight. So, in effect, Lee's hopes for the day were once more foiled by Union response... any questions? yes, Martin?"
"Sir, why was it that up to now, Lee could do no wrong... yet now, here where he brought the war into Union territory, it seems he could do little right?"
"Lee was an engineer- he was an absolute wizard of defensive warfare. Up to now, he had been fighting defensive battles and slipping the leash on Jackson for offensive maneuvers. When Jackson was killed after Chancellorsville, Lee had to rely on his own skills at offensive battle... which he himself recognized as weak. As we noted, on the first day he struck the Union right- on the second day he struck the Union left- on the third day, he struck the Union center- this is right out of the textbook that all West Point officers learned from. There was nothing original here- he was well beyond the scope of his abilities to go as we would say 'outside the box'- any other questions? Anna?"
"Sir, were you there?"
Neil smiled and looked down for a moment- "Yes and no- I was some miles East by Northeast of the battle on the second day- that night, I rejoined with Lee's headquarters and stayed in the vicinity on the third day,"
There were some gasps and murmurs from the class- "Yes," Neil stated, "I fought for the Confederacy. I was a slave owner, in fact- as I was when in the service of Rome, in the service of the Holy Roman Empire, in the service of Harold the Saxon, in the service of William the Conqueror... I could go on, but there are other things I need to teach you and there's only so much time. Whom you serve depends a great deal on where you live when a war breaks out- and I had seen slavery as a common practice more often than not over the past two thousand years. I no longer condone the practice... and I feel that I have always been a fair master to those I owned. I have come to accept certain aspects of my past and feel no guilt over them. Shall we move on?"
"Sir... do you feel any ... superiority ... over those you ...owned?"
Neil thought about that for a moment- "Perhaps at one time... certainly not now,"

[Sgt. Howard]

Shelly's day was rather laid-back, as she had the apartment well under control and only had to cook for herself that afternoon- the thought occurred to look up Monica and see what mischief the two could get into... but in truth, she had a severe deficit of ambition. The thought of glorying in doing nothing all afternoon proved too great a temptation, so she pulled a trashy romance novel ("Girly Paperback Junk Food" was the term Justin would use), gathered some of the illicitly obtained Girl Scout Cookies with a tall glass of milk and crawled into a lovely level of decadence.

Justin and Rob arrived at the address with lights off (they never ran siren) and was buzzed in by Mrs. Southard- she informed them of the arrival of a drug merchant and told them of the fellow he was visiting- just then, they heard a low-level "POP!" from upstairs-
"Second floor, Apartment 23," Mrs. Southard said as they headed upstairs.
LaMar stood over the body of Russell Williams as he put the .25 Raven back in his belt- holding the muzzle right up under the man's throat and pointed to the top of his skull insured a quick death, minimal bleeding and low level of noise. He turned to exit when he heard the heavy steps of the two police officers coming up the stairs. Quickly scampering to the window, he opened it and tried to use the fire escape... only to find it started to shift the moment he put weight on it. The old anchor bolts had rusted through.
There was only one way out, and somebody was trying to block it.
He stood around the corner to the kitchen so that the wall offered cover as he set up to shoot whoever came through the door.
He pulled his .380 Smith and flipped off the safety.
And waited.

Justin and Rob took positions on either side of the door to 23- Justin called out, "POLICE! OPEN THE DOOR!". Cautiously, Rob tried the doorknob- immediately two bullets came through the door at face level! Justin side-kicked the door open while Rob dropped to a crouch and leveled his .40 Glock down the short hallway. LaMar Popped another two rounds, one striking Rob in the shoulder. Rob flopped back under cover as Justin fired around the corner, aiming into the wall that LaMar was using for cover. Three .40 caliber rounds crashed into Lamar's left side through the sheetrock and 2x4 studs, causing superficial wounds. LaMar jumped into the hallway and dumped his remaining three rounds at Justin. The shots went wild.
Justin's four rounds went true- the group in LaMar's chest could be covered with a silver dollar. His eyes went big as he realized he was dying, then rolled back in his head when he collapsed.
Justin kept his gun on the collapsed body and approached cautiously to verify his death- once he had done so, he went back to his partner to see how badly he was hurt. He then called dispatch to report officer down, suspect in custody, request back-up-
Then the shakes began...

[jwhouk]

"...So yeah, she's now a regular human. Or, as much as someone who's lived for several millennia can be 'regular.'"

"And this was all because you found that one girl's dog when you were up in Minneapolis for that conference?"

"I didn't say it made sense, dear. It does, however, work."

Sarah sat on the couch, slightly stunned by the whole thing.

"And that?" She pointed at the scroll that sat on our entertainment center.

"That... well, yeah, that is an original copy of the book of Romans - emphasis on 'copy', though. Not in Paul's handwriting. According to Nicodemus, he had horrible handwriting."

"That's the guy who's going to be doing the wedding?" I nodded. "How... how in the world does a goat become a Jew?"

"I really haven't asked him about that, and I don't plan on doing so during the wedding. Seriously - you can't say a word of this to ANYONE, especially at the wedding. Okay?"

"Yeah... Wait. How are we going to get there and everything? That's a three hour drive..."

I smiled broadly.

"Do I have a surprise for you..."

[Sgt. Howard]

At 1519 East 24th Street, Justin went through the standard field de-briefing after seeing to Rob getting medical care. Forensic people were scouring the scene to verify what happened and how, Mrs. Southard gave a statement as did a few of the other tenants... then the newsies showed up.
Justin was not up to giving a statement to the press- he handed it off to Sgt. Dunsmore and drove to Abbott hospital to see how his partner was fairing. Dunsmore was not privy to the de-briefing and had little information to give to the reporters- yes there had been a call about a man with a gun, yes, officers Keeshan and Epimethus responded, Keeshan was wounded, two men are dead, identities to be released at a later time. When the bodies were wheeled out, it was noted that the skin of the exposed arms was that of black men.
That was what the press ran with.

Shelly had been reading her 'girly porn' paperback when the 'top-of-the-hour' news came on the radio... she vaguely heard something about a 'shooting', 'two black men dead' and 'one officer wounded'- that last bit grabbed her attention. Unfortunately, the majority of the story had already passed- no more details were forthcoming.
A ring at the doorbell disrupted this line of thought. Stepping up to the door with a bat in hand, she cracked it on the chain to see who it was. Standing there was a very average looking fellow with a pencil in one hand and a small note book in the other.
"Mrs. Epimethus, I presume?" he asked rather politely.
"Uh... no, not yet- we ARE getting married in a couple of months, though... how can I help you?"
"I see... and how long have you known Mr. Epimethus?" he asked as he wrote something down.
"Who are you? And why are you asking such questions?" Shelly's ire was building as she realized that this man is a reporter and had every intention of publishing every word she said.
"Fair enough- may I come in? You might want to sit down for this, Ma'am,"
Shelly froze in the door- THAT can never be good news- "What ... what happened to...?"
"Justin Epimethus is in fine health, I assure you. His partner took a superficial wound and is being treated as we speak. But it appears that Justin just shot and killed two black youths in the 'Phillips' district, and I would like to get some background on him if I..."
Shelly shut the door in his face.

Phix got Dixie down for a nap just as Neil came home from Griffin High School. They embraced in the kitchen, kissed, embraced, kissed, fondled, he nibble her neck, she yipped, bit his shoulder... then playfully swatted him away, saying, "I just got the little monster to bed, you'll wake her up!"
"I'LL wake her up?!?"
"ALRIGHT! I KNOW I'm loud..." she blushed.
"There is no greater compliment than a noisy lover," he responded, "Mind if I catch the news?"
"Who's lies are you going to listen to? The extreme left or the extreme right?"
"I caught FOX yesterday- I suppose I should catch CNN to remain balanced,"
"Extreme left it is, then," she said as she hit the remote for the TV.
"... as soon as a consensus can be reached regarding the use of the funding- meanwhile, the police shooting death of two black youths in Minneapolis has caught several people's attention. Kim Sutter reports on the scene-"
"Two police officers responding to a possible man with firearm call earlier this afternoon resulted in one officer wounded and two young black men dead- Minneapolis Police Department spokesman Sgt. Dunsmore was not very forthcoming with details, but it appears that an armed confrontation occurred, killing the two young men. Wounded is officer Robert Keeshan, while his partner, Justin Epimethus, apparently did most of the shooting. There is already an ongoing investigation in regards to exactly what happened here, but at this time there are far to many unanswered questions for comfort. A neighbor, Mrs. Sally Laval, had this to say-"
A heavy-set black woman dominated the screen- "I thought I got away from dis [BLEEP] when I moved outta Chicago, y'know? An' here I live two doors down frum dis an' here it is all over again! I mean, I never really KNEW much about Russ Williams, but his frien' LaMar, he showed up often 'nuff an' I nevah see no trouble der..."
"And that is as much as we can figure out on this end, Back to-" CLICK!
Neil and Phix looked at each other, horror stricken.
"He's a white officer- the two dead are Black- no matter what actually happened, the press will find him guilty- who can watch Dixie on short notice?" Neil asked.
"Neil, if he's done nothing wrong, he'll be cleared, right?"
"Maybe- but there are those who will do everything in their power to destroy him in the meantime. We need to find a lawyer- one with a large dorsal fin and very sharp teeth. Did you hear the emphasis she put on the word possible? It makes it sound like Justin just jumped in guns a-blazing ... possibly even hit his own partner, we'll see that on the commentaries no doubt. THAT little bit of reporting will cast doubt on anything an investigation might find- THAT is the whole purpose to the way they painted the scenario,"
"... how do you..."
"I once served under a regime that PERFECTED propaganda, remember?"
She looked at him, covering her mouth with her hand, eyes wide...
"I'll call Mallory- Atsali has a date this evening..."

[jwhouk]

"You're kidding," Sarah said to me as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Nope. Believe it or not, it's a lot better than the previous entrance. You remember when I told you about the old Scott Town Hall?"

"But this is our church!" she said.

"That was why I requested it. The side door, there," I pointed to the door on the back side of the building.

We got out of the car, and I walked over with her to the door. There was a buildup of snow in front of it, indicating it hadn't been used in some time.

"There's no one else here," she commented as she bundled up against the cold. I noticed the cold, but I was concentrating on the door.

"It might not be open the first time, since this is going to be your first visit with me," I explained.

"I just don't want anyone seeing us," she said as I reached for the door handle.

It didn't budge.

I put my head down and took a deep breath in. "I just want to take her through to Tina's," I said quietly.

I went to pull on the handle again. This time - it opened.

I stepped in, and motioned to Sarah to follow.

"What are you..." She stopped as she realized that we weren't in the church, but in a hallway. "Where are we?"

I took her hand and guided her down the hallway to the other exit.

"If I'm right, we're about to walk out into an alley in Minneapolis," I said as I pushed the metal bar on the exit door.

The alley had snow piled up against the wall. I had to push a bit to get the snow away from the door, but the alleyway was clear.

"Wait, wait, where are we? What is this?" Sarah was confused as I closed the door behind her.

"That way," I pointed toward the street.

"A check cashing place? What is this?"

"Not that way, over here," I said as we rounded the corner.

I had to smile as I laid eyes on the now-way-too-familiar facade of Mucho Mocha.

"Welcome to the best coffee in the Twin Cities," I said. "And quite possibly the universe."

[Sgt. Howard]

COOLNESS!! You're going to introduce your Wife to Tina? I LOVE it!!!

[jwhouk]

"So, the silver eyes are what again?"

My wife was sipping on her Chai Tea au Lait with cinnamon and nutmeg sprinkled on top as we drove home.

"She's a demon conglomerate," I said quietly. "And it's not what you think."

"But demons?"

"It's only strange because they're kinda stuck where they are," I replied. I turned into our apartment complex parking lot. "And besides, she makes the best coffee - and tea - around, right?"

"Mmmm," she said after another sip. "This is a lot better than Starbucks, I gotta admit."

We pulled in to the garage.

"You do understand, though, what I said about the portal?" I looked at her as I turned off the car. "No trying to go through without me, and no blabbing about it to others?"

She nodded. "But how does Phix fit into all this?"

"Another long story. And it's really funny you should ask, because there's that old book that I brought home..."

[Sgt. Howard]

Shirley Phelps-Roper studied the article closely-"live-in girlfriend to be married in two months" kept her attention. Daddy would not hesitate to strike here- neither would she. Her sinful beau had killed two black boys, so the liberals were not likely to defend them... and her adultery was self-confessed. No brainer. She was doing God's work, just like her Father had done before her. Her children would be happy to help with this one... So would her sister, Rebekah Phelps-Davis and HER children... as would the other members of the Westboro Baptist Church.
They needed only to find out where the wedding was taking place and when...

In the headquarters of Black Lives Matter, several ringleaders were in deep discussion of tactics with the Reverend Al Sharpton regarding how many people could be shipped to the protest- finding the actual date of the wedding as well as the location seemed to be the determining factors- Sharpton could provide a goodly number of paid protesters as long as he had time enough to make travel arrangements... the DNP had a decent fund for such things, and there was never a shortage of volunteers when it meant food, accommodations, travel and $200 a day.
Again, where and when were critical.

Brian Wahnee watched the smoking relic stagger down the road, missing on at least one cylinder, a noticeable wobble on the passenger front wheel and a slow trail of fluid(s?) marking it's progress. The body was three different colors, accented with rust and bondo and two different shades of primer. To his dismay, it turned into his driveway. Out stepped a surprisingly respectable looking fellow who asked,
"You got time to do a tune-up?"
Brian threw open the hood and looked- a 1970s Dodge Dart with the mortal remains of a slant six 225, coupled to a leaky automatic transmission... there was the smell of anti-freeze, tranny fluid, burnt oil, power steering fluid and something he wasn't sure of but something dead might be slowly cooking under the manifolds. Looking into the interior, he saw what appeared to be a dead hornet's nest embedded in the bare coil springs of the back seat. Pushing the car from the side, he noticed that the passenger wheel was devoid of bearings- looking under, he saw the brake had been disassembled and the hose bolted off on that side.
"This thing," he commented at length, "needs a resurrection- I'm not even sure how you got it here,"
"Oh? How do you mean?"
"Well... first of all, you're running on three brakes..."
"That's bad?" the stranger asked. Brian looked at him to see if he was joking.
"Sir, if you cross the threshold of my shop with this car, I cannot legally hand it back to you until that brake is fixed- and from what I can see, I'll need to replace most of your front end suspension because it's destroyed. Regarding your engine- I see several indications of a blown head gasket- and possibly a strong need for a rebuild- before a tune-up will have any affect at all. As it is, I'm not sure I understand why it is still running," he stopped to inspect other key points. The passenger door was held in place with a bent coat hanger. The rear passenger side window had been replaced with plywood... and it was a poor fit. The tail light dangled from it's wires. He went to the back and noticed the expired registration.
Then he stopped, and looked in all directions as intently as he could.
"Uh, sir...? What are you looking for?"
"The camera- this is a joke, right?"
"Uh, no... I just bought this car,"
"...How much did you pay for it?"
"$400"
"Son... you've been had... for what it would cost for me to repair this thing, you could probably buy three nice used cars or maybe even a new one... I suggest you sell it to somebody who loves Dodge Darts and get something that actually works... and do yourself a favor- bring it HERE before you buy it. I won't charge you for a quick assessment,"
"Aw, man... hey! You're Shelly Wahnee's Dad, right? Do you know when and where she's getting hitched?"
"Heh, I should HOPE I do... December the 17th, 3 o'clock at the Pillsbury A Mill... I will be walking her down the isle, so it's reasonably important I get there,"
"Wow... thank you very much... let's see if I can get this pile of junk home,"
"I would drive it directly to a junk yard- THEY will give you $50 at least,"
"Sucker," he thought to himself as he drove the rattletrap back up the road- he has two clients paying good money for that information...

[lake_wrangler]

The plot, it is like real oatmeal, yes?

[jwhouk]

Amanda put the box she was carrying down on what passed for her kitchen table.

"I think these are the last ones, Chet," she said as a short bespectacled man walked into the loft with a cardboard box.

"Good," he said, relieving himself of the burden by placing the box down next to the one on the table. "I'm both impressed and puzzled as to how you got one of these lofts here at the Pillsbury."

"I went to high school with the developer," she explained as she opened the one box - and pulled out a tripod. "The studio space here was ideal, and Monica wanted to do some expansion in my old studio."

Chet looked around. "Where's Selenium?"

"You're still freaked out over him from last time?" She chuckled as she pulled out some portfolio folders. "He's around here somewhere. There's a lot of spaces he can run and hide around in here. I'm not worried."

"Well, considering the place is like only 25% finished, I'd be a bit concerned." He walked over to the loft's window, facing the Mississippi River. The view was currently blocked by a crane that was there to help with work on one of the upper floors. "How'd you manage to move in here so quickly?"

"Like I said, the developer was a friend in high school," she explained. "Dominic wanted someone to be here so they could 'show off' the place."

"Even though your actual studio is still under construction?" Amanda rolled her eyes at her assistant's comment.

"He told me it'd be ready by the first," she said. "As with the concert hall where Shel's wedding is gonna be." She went over to one of the other boxes that were sitting on the counter. In it were some canned goods that needed to go in the cupboards of the open-concept kitchen of the loft.

"That's gonna be weird," he said, sorting through the portfolio binders and putting them on the shelves. "Not only is the hall only partially finished, it's also the old flour storage area."

"Like I said - he promised it'd be done by the first."

"Yeah, but of which year?"

"Well, I'd hope this year, since it's November," she said as she closed the cupboard after filling it with cans. Just then, Selenium made his appearance, jumping down from the top of the cupboards and onto the counter.

"Oh, so there you are. Nice of you to join us." Selenium purred in response as Amanda started petting him.

"When I brought up that last box, it looked like they were still working on it," he said. "You might want to call Dominic about it."

"I will," she said. "First, it's time to feed Selenium here."

---

EDITOR'S NOTE: The actual A-Mill Lofts is still under construction - and unoccupied...

[Sgt. Howard]

"So... what are you up to doing this afternoon?" Atsali asked.
"well, we could always take a long walk through the woods around Cedar Lake," Nadette intoned.
"That gets boring... I mean, I like kissing and all that... but I really don't see where we have to be doing that all the time.."
Nadette looked shocked- "You're asking why? I... I thought that... don't you even feel any... ?"
"Can you finish a sentence?" Smirked Atsali.
"'SALI! Your kisses are the greatest! Are you saying... mine don't ... DO much for you?"
Quite innocently, she asked, "What are they supposed to do?"
Stunned, shocked... and deeply hurt... Nadette stared at her with tears rolling down her face.
"'Sali... (sniff) your kisses make me all hot (sniff) and flustered and, and, all, all..."
"OH!!! Yea, sure- HERE!" and Atsali produced a small thermos.
"Wha... (sniff)... what is... that?"
"It's that anaphrodisic tea that Momma made up for me sometime back- it works real good for what you're talking about,"
Even further stunned, Nadette looked at Atsali incredulously as she realized why Atsali had never properly responded to her make-out sessions.
"You've been taking that stuff on a routine basis? 'Sali, you're numbing the very feelings you're supposed to be enjoying! What's wrong with you?"
"Wrong?!? That stuff SCARES me!!! Why would you want to feel that? Oh My Gosh! You want to do that SEX stuff?!? NO! NO WAY!"
"You DING DONG! It's NOT like I can get you PREGNANT!!!"
"THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!"
"THEN WHAT IS THE POINT?!? AM I WASTING MY KISSES ON YOU?"
"WELL, IF THAT'S ALL YOU WANT TO DO, MAYBE YOU NEED SOMEBODY ELSE!!!"
Atsali knew it was a mistake the moment she said it. Nadette puddled up, turned and stormed off without another word.
Atsali slumped and tried to fight the tears that were now forming in her eyes.

Thymbris studied the instructions on the paper towel dispenser in the lady's room-
"Pull down, Tear up."
She then pulled it down off the wall, and tore it up...

... her hands were still wet- and she wasn't sure why...

[Sgt. Howard]

"Soooo... what should we get for Shell and Justin's wedding?" Alan threw out.
"Dunno- what do you get for a pair that has everything? Gift certificate? Matching bunny slippers? Celtic dream catchers?" Jin teased.
"The Celts made dream catchers?"
"They called it 'single malt'... how about one of those 'hero cams'? Shelly could get some awesome footage mounting it on her helmet,"
"Or sphinxing out and flying with it- you know, I'll bet nobody else will come up with that- they have them at WalMart, you know... and on sale, unless I am mistaken- getchur walkin' shoes on girly, we're goin' ta WALLY WURLD! HYUK HYUK HYUK!!!"

[lake_wrangler]

Please don't become Walmart people... Please don't become Walmart people... Please don't become Walmart people...
I don't want to read about them on the internet!

Oh wait: I do want to read about them on the internet...

BUT NOT LIKE THAT!

*Curls into a corner of the room, rocking back and forth, with images of Walmart people on photos and Youtube videos forever etched into his mind*
WHERE'S THE BRAIN BLEACH, WHEN YOU NEED IT!

[Dave]

WHERE'S THE BRAIN BLEACH, WHEN YOU NEED IT!

Ah, but think of all the good they're doing in the world.

There are places in the world filled with beauty, refinement, subtle accents and delicate textures. Places where everything is as it should be, fitting together in a harmonious whole which is greater than the sum of its parts.

Those places simply couldn't exist, if not counterbalanced by an equal number of cosmic vortexes of bad taste, glaring colors blazoned on ill-shapen "fashions", and moments of lapsed sensibilities which stretch into days and weeks. Places where "What could they possibly have been thinking?" is not just a question, but a motto.

It's very sad... but, as Zathras said, at least there is symmetry.

[Sgt. Howard]

WHERE'S THE BRAIN BLEACH, WHEN YOU NEED IT!

Ah, but think of all the good they're doing in the world.

There are places in the world filled with beauty, refinement, subtle accents and delicate textures. Places where everything is as it should be, fitting together in a harmonious whole which is greater than the sum of its parts.

Those places simply couldn't exist, if not counterbalanced by an equal number of cosmic vortexes of bad taste, glaring colors blazoned on ill-shapen "fashions", and moments of lapsed sensibilities which stretch into days and weeks. Places where "What could they possibly have been thinking?" is not just a question, but a motto.

It's very sad... but, as Zathras said, at least there is symmetry.

OK- size 11.5 lady's pink platform shoes with rhinestones and glitter- show me the aesthetic symmetry thereof, I dare you...

[Dave]

It's very sad... but, as Zathras said, at least there is symmetry.

OK- size 11.5 lady's pink platform shoes with rhinestones and glitter- show me the aesthetic symmetry thereof, I dare you...

Well, it's more the sort of (anti)symmetry that you see in paintings of the Tibetan Wheel of Life, in the "six realms of samsara" (rebirth) in the third layer of the painting, with the realms of the gods and demigods and humans on one side, and the realms of animals, hungry ghosts, and hell-and-torment on the other.

Pink platform shoes with rhinestones certainly fits into one of the 18 types of torment in the hell realm... putting it symmetrically opposite the realm of heaven, described as one of pleasure and abundance.