A VERY happy wedding...

[jwhouk]

(Point of order - due to the complexity of the English language, no one generally retains their accent while singing - unless it's intentional.)

[jwhouk]

--- --- ---

I overheard some of the conversation at the bar about what had happened earlier with Nudge. She'd apparently combined a shotgun wedding with too many libations.

I suddenly had second thoughts about wanting to stick around much longer.

There was a tap on my shoulder. I turned to find Suzi next to me at the bar.

"Hey there," she said. "Looks like you're about as much into country music as I am." She downed her drink – which looked like a Bloody Mary, but didn't smell of tomato juice. "You ever get to talk to the bride?"

"Uh, no, no I didn't," I replied. I couldn't help but stare at her face – she had let the drink slide down the side of her mouth a bit, and she wasn't in too big of a hurry to clean up.

Her fangs were briefly bared as she tilted her head back.

"Ah," she slowly ran her tongue around her lips. "Nothing like AB-positive with a vodka shot. I was a bit surprised the bartender had any fresh."

My face must have frozen in fear, because she tilted her head to the side, quizzically.

"You all right, hon?"

"Uh, er," I began. "Just because, uh, I work third shift – doesn't mean I'm a… uh…"

"Oh," she realized what she was doing. "OH!" She grabbed a napkin from the bar top. "I'm so sorry. I can get a bit too comfortable in front of law enforcement types."

"I'm pretty sure we don't have any vampires working at my facility," I said, taking a step back as she cleaned herself up.

"Oh, you'd be surprised, kid," she replied, cleaning the last drop from her upper cuspid. She looked out at the dance floor, with all the couples dancing to Shelly and Euryale's crooning.

"What brings you to the party, anyways?" Suzi leaned back on the bar, her ample chest stuck out towards the dance floor.

"Well, I'm a bit of a gate crasher, I'm afraid," I said, focusing more on Shelly and Euryale's duet. "I've been blocked from entering the Library for a few months, now, and according to Shadow Lady, it was all Nudge's idea."

"Shadow Lady?" Suzi had to think for a moment. "You mean Tsillah. She's our liaison between us and the Library. And," she turned to look at me, "from what little I know of Nudge, you should be glad she's in a time-out right now."

"Where'd they take her? I mean, after she did her little shoot-em-up?"

"I think they took her through one of the portals," she replied. "Kath's girl did a great job of dealing with her."

"She's been through a lot for a teenager, though."

The beat picked up as the band started to play the opening bars to a Taylor Swift song.

"Oooh!" Suzi was excited for a moment. "I love this one!" She offered her hand. "Wanna dance?"

"Sorry," I said, reluctantly showing her my wedding band.

"Your loss," she said as she wound into the throng that was now engulfing the dance floor.

I think I may need to find my way home soon, I thought to myself. Before that vamp tries to come on to me again…

[jwhouk]

(No, FYI, the song was "Shake It Off," not "Bad Blood"....)

[Sgt. Howard]

Atsali was out on the floor, prancing like a mad thing to "Shake it Off", with Nadette in tow. She got rather carried away and bumped into someone- that someone was Jacob, who was dancing with Dan.
"Whoops! 'scuse me... OH! Jacob!... and you're with Dan... well, of course you're with Dan... "
"OK- I should have told you that day, but you caught me so totally off guard, and..."
"NO! It was my fault! I probably drove you away from women by..."
"OH DON'T BE ABSURD! I knew I was gay some time ago!"
"Uh... guys? This is the first decent music they've played in a while- can't we just dance?" Dan asked.

"... I really don't know how to dance to this..." Kathy stated as she surveyed the floor.
"Neither do I, truth be told... and I think we both ought to sit a bit... there's a table over there, let's claim it,"
"Isn't this where I was sitting when you asked me to dance?"
He surveyed the table, then got his bearings..."Yes, I believe it is- heh, there's your purse,"
"Good grief! Probably not at risk here.. sit down big guy, I've got some questions for you... like, how is it that you're a successful Lawyer, mid thirties, and never been kissed?"
"Well, females of my own species are not interested in me because of my... anatomy... and females of YOUR species are AFRAID of me because of my... anatomy..."
"But... well you're BIG, no mistake there, but not beyond what most women could handle...."
"But as a human, I wear pants and the women assume I have done a 'tuck' so as not to scare them,"
"... and as a centaur...?"
"Centaurs don't wear pants..."
"Oh, of course... but... what made you decide to talk to me?"
He chuckled and blushed as he covered his forehead and part of his eyes with one hand... then he looked at Kathy from under the hand...
"You were so 'out of my league', so 'beyond my grasp' that I figured a rejection from you would not hurt so bad... I could always tell myself that I had simply aimed too high..."
She listened with mouth and eyes wide open.. there as a snerk, a giggle, then out-and-out laughter. He watched, slightly confused, until she chortled out,
"You're as big a (snerk) geek and a (snerk) dork as (giggle) I am... hahhahhahhahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahah!"
He looked at her in shock... then realized it as true.

He brayed. He brayed like a mule, beating the table with his fist. When that played out, he laughed like any human.

Finally catching his breath, he stated, "Y'know, I'm not sure where THAT comes from... but apparently, I'm a bit of an Ass..."

[lake_wrangler]

Having just come back home from my old stomping grounds where I had the honor of performing "Wedding Song" by Paul Stookey for my niece's wedding, my mind has been rumbling (hemorrhaging, actually) with images of a glorious and happy wedding, I realized that I had set up several loose threads in my own 'red wedding' that were never resolved- here is an alternate set of stories to fill it out. Just for fun (as all of this is)... then I will get back to that wretched, filthy, stinking submarine that is currently calamari bait...

You mean, the ink is barely dry on the other fic, and you're already retconning it???

I have to admit, this one's much more believable... the other ending felt rushed, to be honest. And I could see some possible plot holes, where the main protagonists could/should have handled the crisis better... But it certainly did shock us!

Meanwhile...
[nitpick]

Atsali was out on the floor, prancing like a mad thing to "Shake it Off", with Nadette in tow. She got rather carried away and bumped into someone- that someone as Jason, who was dancing with Dan.
"Whoops! 'scuse me... OH! Jason!... and you're with Dan... well, of course you're with Dan... "

"That someone was Jacob [...] Whoops! 'scuse me... OH! Jacob!"
[/nitpick]

I remain impressed by your ability to run with someone else's characters and keep it believable. I look forward to reading more.

[lake_wrangler]

Okay, I lied.

Don't be so hard on yourself... What you said was true... at the time that you said it. You merely changed your mind later, and decided to come back for more, much to our reading pleasure.

I particularly like how you took some elements from Sgt Howard's story, and included them in yours (like crossing paths with Shelly taking her clothes with her to the bathroom, for instance), and how you took other characters from Paul's 'verse, that could very well have been there, but hadn't been mentioned yet, and used them to mingle your story with Sgt Howard's. Nicely done.

One thing, though: when Lilly is bragging about Kathy, she should be talking about her daughter, not her granddaughter...

"My granddaughter [should be daughter] packs a wallop with her lips, hey?" A thin, pale-ish woman with dreadlocks and a drawn in face pulled up next to me. "Lily Pratt.

You are quite inspiring in your creativity. I like reading your stuff.

[Sgt. Howard]

Having just come back home from my old stomping grounds where I had the honor of performing "Wedding Song" by Paul Stookey for my niece's wedding, my mind has been rumbling (hemorrhaging, actually) with images of a glorious and happy wedding, I realized that I had set up several loose threads in my own 'red wedding' that were never resolved- here is an alternate set of stories to fill it out. Just for fun (as all of this is)... then I will get back to that wretched, filthy, stinking submarine that is currently calamari bait...

You mean, the ink is barely dry on the other fic, and you're already retconning it???

I have to admit, this one's much more believable... the other ending felt rushed, to be honest. And I could see some possible plot holes, where the main protagonists could/should have handled the crisis better... But it certainly did shock us!

Meanwhile...
[nitpick]

Atsali was out on the floor, prancing like a mad thing to "Shake it Off", with Nadette in tow. She got rather carried away and bumped into someone- that someone as Jason, who was dancing with Dan.
"Whoops! 'scuse me... OH! Jason!... and you're with Dan... well, of course you're with Dan... "

"That someone was Jacob [...] Whoops! 'scuse me... OH! Jacob!"
[/nitpick]



I remain impressed by your ability to run with someone else's characters and keep it believable. I look forward to reading more.

I started getting worried that I had hijacked Paul's ensemble in a direction that he might not have seen as desireable when I came up with that- and you're right, it was rushed... I never really liked it. The more I tried to figure how to correct it, the less I found it palatible-
RE: JASON/JACOB- thank you, that is corrected now

[lake_wrangler]

I started getting worried that I had hijacked Paul's ensemble in a direction that he might not have seen as desireable when I came up with that- and you're right, it was rushed... I never really liked it. The more I tried to figure how to correct it, the less I found it palatible-

Then again, all fanfics take characters to previously unforeseen places...

RE: JASON/JACOB- thank you, that is corrected now

Glad to be of service. Though you missed the one correction: shouldn't it be "that someone WAS Jacob", rather than "that someone AS Jacob,"?

Meanwhile, keep it coming!

[Sgt. Howard]

"Atsali! Atsali! Momma's got a- a boyfreind and she knocked him to the- the floor with a- a KISS!" the little stinkweed prattled as she ran across the dancefloor to her sister.
"Wha... what are you talking about?!?"
"Boy, the acorn doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?" Nadette intoned.
'Sali gave her an odd look, then turned back to her excitable sister.
"What is going on?" she asked.
"Mama wuz out dancin' with- with a real Chippydale and- and she an the Chippydale wuz dancin' real pretty and- and they won a prize and- and she kissed the Chippydale and- and the Chippydale fell over!" - it all came out like somebody opened a floodgate.
Atsali screwed up her face in confusion, "What... is a 'Chippydale'?" she asked.
"I think she means a 'Chippendale'," Dan answered, "... your Mother was out there strutting her stuff like a pro with this FABULOUSLY GORGEOUS man, and when she kissed him he dropped like a stone!"
"Momma? MY Momma? ... but... but my Momma doesn't date anybody... does she?" she looked at Castella.
"Well she- she should - Aunti Shelly says he's a- a 'studmuffin'... Atsali, what's a- a 'studmuffin'?"
"... I ... have no idea..."
Nadette and Dan burst out laughing... Jacob bit his lower lip and trembled... but did not laugh...

Monica had wandered away from the ongoing battle between Mayahule and Jin over the particulars of a wedding (Allan, of course, was stuck for the duration) and found the bar... again...
"Champagne, please," she said while watching the classic confusion of a wedding celebration in progress. The barkeep delivered a tall flute (with duck tape and swizzler sticks splinting the broken stem) full of the golden, fizzy liquid... she took a sip and studied the makeshift repair.
"Real class" she thought to herself.
"HEY there sexy girl," came Shelly's familiar voice.
"Hey there- your blouse is wet, you know that?"
"I had to fish it out of a punch bowl... actually, Nicodemous fished it out, and I grabbed it from him..."
"Damn, girl!" Monica burst out, "You sure know how to party!!!"
"Actually, I shredded my dress when that nitwit Nudge dumped a load out of that shotgun- then when I tried to 'dress on the fly' like Grandma does, I wound up doing a cheesy striptease... what is it with this place and me loosing my clothes?"
Monica snorted champagne out her nose-
"REAL classy there, M," Shelly commented as Monica tried to recover.
The barkeep offered her a few paper napkins. After Monica blew her nose and recovered, he 'freshed up' her flute.
"GAH! I HATE carbonated stuff in my nose! Good service they have here... where's Justin?"
"He's over there doing some 'guy time' with my... 'step-Grampa'? Dude, the guy won't even need to shave for another two, three years by his own figureing,"
"Yea, but that 'breardless boy' is over two thousand years of age- THAT's gotta count for something,"
"Compared to me, he's just a pup," Shelly countered, ".. a wonderful man, far wiser than most humans, he loves Gramma to death... but he's still a pup. This is weird, isn't it? Five short years ago, we were ordinary people with ordinary issues... now we will never know that level of existance again... do you miss it?"
"Sometimes... I'll tell you what I DON'T miss, is worrying over other people's view of my sanity... wondering what changes I could have done to make my life better..."
"You're talking about you, Kevin and Bud? Are you three cool? I saw you talking together, where she wasn't too happy,"
"We're cool- she was having a ... crisis... I think Jin being pregnant set it off. But I'm accepting them dating... I really hope they can make it work... thing is, I love them both- and me having to walk away from Kevin nearly killed me (her eyes started to moisten), yet I knew i had to leave him... I was no good to him, OR to myself if we stayed together... I am such a coward sometimes..."
"YOU are the bravest bitch I know," came the voice of Suzy McBride as she sauntered up to the bar, "YOU stepped in front of Phix just before she killed me and Lily. YOU took a death-blow for us... and I never took the time to say 'Thank You'- but I will correct that right now," as she dropped to one knee, took Monica's hand and kissed it in the traditions of Medieval Chivalry.
"Should you ever need my services, you need only call,"
"The manners of the court!" Monica exclaimed- she had only studied such things before, having never seen them she had little idea as to their impact- but she knew what to do.
"Rise, Suzanna McBride, and stand among peers- then tell me what you are drinking,"

[TazManiac]

yes, yes, you crazy people, are indeed my people...

[jwhouk]

(Sorry I'm late, my employer had "hiring issues" this AM)
--- --- ---

There are four things that are common to every wedding reception. First, there will be drinking. As in, alcohol. Large quantities of alcohol. And it will be consumed by people who generally don't drink alcohol. This can lead to issues. Issues that sometimes require the intervention of law enforcement officials.

Secondly, there will be dancing. The music varies somewhat, but it usually includes tunes that have some sort of a beat to them, and you can dance to them – usually. And, the people who are dancing will generally not be the type who can dance, mind you. But large quantities of alcohol tend to make people think they're better dancers than they actually are.

Thirdly – there will be relatives. Lots of them. People who you are only remotely related to, by some fifth cousin on your mother's side, or such. And it's likely that the next time you'll see them is at another wedding. Heaven help you if you come from a family where one of your aunts or uncles pushed out multiple children, because you'll be attending weddings at an alarming rate.

Lastly, there will be strangers. Lots of them. People you probably wouldn't recognize in a police lineup, and you probably will never see again after the wedding. Sometimes, this can be a blessing, and sometimes this is a curse.

Unfortunately, there will be times that you are at a wedding reception that is missing one or more of these four things. And when it does, it can make for a miserable time. Even doubly so if you came to said reception by yourself.

Sadly, I found myself in this situation. And the one thing of the four that this reception lacked was relatives. As in, I knew practically no one here. That was additionally compounded by the fact that I was aware that I was not among so-called "normal" personages.

There were, I knew, a handful of people in this room who could flatten the earth with a flick of the wrist.

I had steeled my resolve, thinking that I'd only bolt for the door if I started to hear the strains of one, certain song…

DA, dat-dat-da, da dat da dat-dat-dat DAH…

Yep, the brass horns of "YMCA."

That did it for me. I turned around to make for the door…

OOF!

"Excuse me," I said at the exact same time as the person I had run into. She looked up at me.

I looked down.

"Monica?" She looked up at me for a moment, even as the recording of the Village People began to fill the Great Hall.

"I know you from somewhere," she said with a quizzical look.

"Your dog got loose around Lake Calhoun a few years back," I seemingly shouted over the sound of the song.

"Oh yeah," she replied. "You're that guy from Wisconsin… Joe, right?" I nodded in acknowledgement. "How'd you end up here?"

"Well, I'd tell you, if I didn't feel like I was shouting," I said. She motioned me toward one of the stacks, just off the Great Hall. I followed her over to where she pointed – and suddenly, it was quiet. As if someone shut the door.

"The Library does a pretty good job of keeping noise down," she replied. "Outside of the Great Hall. So – why are you here, exactly?"

"Apparently, Nudge's little ban on my access beyond the portal system went away after she was removed from the Library earlier," I explained. "She kept me from actually entering the Library, always shunting me to a handful of portals. Thankfully, most of them were either in the Twin Cities, or near my home."

"That's odd," she commented. "From what I've understood, once you have access to the Portal system, you're good to actually enter the Library."

"What I was told, Nudge found it amusing that I could never actually enter the Library. Only go from annex to annex, without actually setting foot in the Library proper." I hooked a thumb out toward the Great Hall. "The Bride apparently didn't know, or cared, that I was trying to access the place."

"Phix didn't know, hm?" Monica thought for a moment. "Well, if you stick around for a moment, I'll see if I can introduce you. Meanwhile, I have a toast to make."

[louisxiv]

You chaps realise you’re ‘it’ for our Wapsi-fix for the next ten days, of course?

No pressure, of course.

So do please… pretty please, carry on.

[Dave]

You chaps realise you’re ‘it’ for our Wapsi-fix for the next ten days, of course?

No pressure, of course.

So do please… pretty please, carry on.

Seconded! It will be a work of corporal mercy on your parts (and, I hope, not an objectionable step down in rank for Sgt. Howard).

[AmriloJim]

I remain impressed by your ability to run with someone else's characters and keep it believable. I look forward to reading more.

I had made a mental note to post the same thought, addressed to both Sarge and JW. I've thoroughly enjoyed these two trading fours, as it were.

[GlytchMeister]

...I may have an idea...

[Sgt. Howard]

Bia spotted Lilly over by the podium- "Lilly, you're needed at the Bar right now," she stated in a rushed fashion.
"What's going on? What do you need me for?"
"You have been summoned by the Jaguar Girl- c'mon, let's go!"
Lilly froze in fear.
"C'MON!! Le's not keep her WAITING!!!"
About ready to pass out or pee herself, Lilly followed Bia... certain she was headed to her doom.

"Grandma?- could we have you and these two handsome fellows over at the bar? Monica has her own little announcement to make," Shelly said to the trio.
"Sure my dear... what's up?" Phix responded.
"Just follow me and find out,"

"Ah! Nicodemus! Can we have you at the bar, please?" asked Bud.
"Well, I suppose so... what is the reason?" He asked.
"Monica has an announcement to make, and thought that you should be present,"
"Very well, I am on my way.. do not expect me to hurry, I am not as fast as I used to be,"

"Allan! Jin! May! Please come over to the bar- Monica has something to say," Kevin announced to his best friend, his best friend's lady and her Mother.
"Well! THIS ought to be good! C'mon girl, I'll help you up,"
"You act as if I'm already big as a house you dork! I can get myself up,"
"Not near as well as you can get ME up," he whispered in her ear.
She smacked him across the nose while giggling and turning red....

Atsali watched her Mother as she spoke with the handsome fellow that everybody seemed to be talking about. She had no clue about HIS thoughts on the matter, but her Mother certainly was enthralled by HIM. She turned to Nadette-
"What can you tell me about him? I can't figure him out at all..."
"Jeese, girl, what's to figure? He's like a love-sick puppy over her... and she's no different about him! They look like they are about to kiss..."
"...?...isn't that dangerous? He fell down the last time..." asked Atsali.
"THAT will be- be funny! Will he- he ALWAYS fall when Momma kisses him?"
"You little stinkweed! If Momma wants to..."
"'Sali! 'Dette! Castela! You're all wanted at the Bar!" Berdine announced, "Monica's about to say something, and it sounds important! Jake, you and Dan too!"
The five followed, each face a perfect question mark.

The lot converged within moments of each other. Suzi grabbed her partner and pulled her into the center mass.
"..what..the..hell..is..going..on.." Lilly whispered.
".. don't worry- it's all good.." Suzi whispered back.

"Ahem," Monica silenced the crowd. She was standing on the bar itself with her broken flute of bubbly in hand. All eyes were on her.

"I offer a toast... to these two ladies who have for too long been ignored or hated for what they are... a distinction that neither had any choice in, I might add. Lilly Pratt, Suzanna McBride, I... the Demon Shepard, the Jaguar Girl... I, Monica Villarreal, toast to my recognition to these two as PEERS, as EQUALS in my world-

Who will join me in this toast?"

There was a rush at the bar-
"Champagne for... 3,4,5... five please" "Single Malt Scotch- a double please," "Um,, four... no FIVE Shirley Temples," "No, I'll take a ginger ale" "OK- four Shirley Temples and a Ginger ale" "Sacramental wine... and a GOODLY amount in a large goblet! Here's four sheckles..." "but Rabbi, that only costs two sheckles!" "Nonsense! THIS is a FOUR SHECKLE TOAST! I will pay no less!" "Courvoisier double, up neat" "Phix, is that wise?" I'm in the third trimester, we're safe,"

All raised a vessel of some stripe... Suzi beamed with pride as Lilly stood in shock. Monica turned towards the two-

"SEE?" Monica called out," Do you SEE who toasts to your status? Everybody- TO LILLY AND SUZI!!!"
"CHEERS! HERE'S TO YOU! YAY GRANMA!!! EXCELLENT! "
"MAZELTOFF!!" Bellowed the old Rabbi- and then he pulled down the whole goblet without coming up for air once. Having done so, he smashed the glass under his hoof and proceeded to dance with arms extended while singing in Hebrew- others joined him. Soon there was a full circle. Phix approached Lilly, put her arms on her shoulders- nobody heard the words spoken, but both cried shamelessly. Then Lilly scooped up her Grand-daughter and hugged and kissed her... Castella stood stunned when she left to find Katherine, but soon jumped up and down crying "Granma is- is HAPPY! Granma is- is HAPPY". Phix then spoke with Suzi, and again both women shed tears of joy.

And Monica came down from the bar, feeling a pride and joy she had never known.

[jwhouk]

One thing, though: when Lilly is bragging about Kathy, she should be talking about her daughter, not her granddaughter...

"My granddaughter [should be daughter] packs a wallop with her lips, hey?" A thin, pale-ish woman with dreadlocks and a drawn in face pulled up next to me. "Lily Pratt.

You are quite inspiring in your creativity. I like reading your stuff.

No, it's right. Lily is (one of) Katherine's mom(s).

Remember - I wrote the book.

[lake_wrangler]

Then Lilly scooped up her Grand-daughter and hugged and kissed her... Castella stood stunned when she left to find Katherine, but soon jumped up and down crying "Granma is- is HAPPY! Granma is- is HAPPY".

THAT!!! THAT!!!!!
The whole scene is great, and quite touching. But that line, that was the best!

Phix approached Lilly, put her arms on her shoulders- nobody heard the words spoken, but both cried shamelessly. [...] Phix then spoke with Suzi, and again both women shed tears of joy.
And Monica came down from the bar, feeling a pride and joy she had never known.

Quite touching, indeed!

I have to admit to being surprised by this turn of events, as I'm not sure what motivated Monica to do so, but it's nicely done nevertheless. Bravo!

[lake_wrangler]

No, it's right. Lily is (one of) Katherine's mom(s).

Exactly: if Lily is one of Katherine's moms, that makes Katherine Lily's daughter, not granddaughter.

Remember - I wrote the book.

Are you looking for more flowers? Careful you don't end up with the pot, as well...
(Just kidding. I know you wrote the book, and I loved reading it, too.)

[Sgt. Howard]

Then Lilly scooped up her Grand-daughter and hugged and kissed her... Castella stood stunned when she left to find Katherine, but soon jumped up and down crying "Granma is- is HAPPY! Granma is- is HAPPY".

THAT!!! THAT!!!!!
The whole scene is great, and quite touching. But that line, that was the best!

Phix approached Lilly, put her arms on her shoulders- nobody heard the words spoken, but both cried shamelessly. [...] Phix then spoke with Suzi, and again both women shed tears of joy.
And Monica came down from the bar, feeling a pride and joy she had never known.

Quite touching, indeed!

I have to admit to being surprised by this turn of events, as I'm not sure what motivated Monica to do so, but it's nicely done nevertheless. Bravo!

RE: Castela- I have to admit, as I pictured the event in my mind (that's how I work- I visualize, then describe), my eyes were moist.

RE: Monica- She has been aware for some time that Vampires are treated as vermin- when Suzi offered her fealty (that was exactly what her actions indicated hen she said 'Thank you'), Monica realized that she could ignore it no longer- thus the public declaration of 'Peerage' or 'Equality amongst fellows', in accordance to the customs of the post-Roman European courts. I did a great deal of paraphrasing regarding the actual wordage... brought it up to date and more generic as opposed to 'Kingdom Specific'- but the point gets across. That Nicodemus insists on paying more for his drink than it should cost is an indication of the Old Goat's understanding of the toast- it is an oath of acceptance, one that you do NOT seek at a bargain. He then celebrates as he knows best- shatters the glass and dances on the shards, indicating that the old way is now in the dust and he dances on it's grave.