A VERY happy wedding...

[Sgt. Howard]

The next morning, Nudge was in a separate chamber... quite oblivious to everything. Phix walked in with the shotgun... and a set of hearing protection ear covers. She cracked the gun open, loaded both barrels and pointed at the far wall.

She pulled the forward trigger. The right barrel belched the voice of GOD.

Nudge leaped five feet into the air from the floor, and at that altitude lost fluid/material from three orifices.

Then she landed in said fluid/materials.

A trickle of blood was showing at her left ear, indicating a ruptured eardrum. Here eyes were quite bleary and unfocused. She vomited again as her body rebelled against last nights excesses. A loud moan escaped her lips as she sought the source of her torment.

Then she saw Phix with the shotgun... and started to sob... she knew what was coming...


¨Oy! Oy! What a head! That was too much, too much- maybe we shouldn't have weddings here too often, I don't know... ¨ Nicodemus muttered to himself as he staggered through his morning routine. He looked at himself in the mirror.
¨Oy! What a face! I should not inflict this on anyone, I think. I shall stay home and recover in quiet... yes, that should be better. Better to be absent than publicly disgusting... ah, but WHAT a wedding!! What a wedding! Many things resolved, many changes made- and now that I consider it, at least ONE, maybe THREE weddings in the future... a baby is brought forth with great pain and much rejoicing- should a wedding be much different? Only that the rejoicing precedes the pain, I suppose... so much knowledge and yet no mastery of moderation... I am ashamed of myself.... heh... "he looked again at the image in the mirror, ¨.. yes, I DEFINITELY need more PRACTICE!!! A few more weddings, I will have this down to an art! Now, for something my stomach won't reject...¨

Lilly slept like a baby through the day, giggling and purring in her sleep. Of course, she could not be up and around until sunset, but that was of little importance.

She was accepted...

¨Now, you let me know if there is anything you need, any cravings you have, and I'll be on it-¨ Alan mentioned to Jin that morning.
¨Stop babying me- I can't be more than three weeks along, I am NOT fragile! You are such a goober...¨ Jin countered.
¨Yea, well I'm YOUR goober- you might as well get used to that,¨
She snuzzeled into his shoulder, ¨... yea... I know...¨

¨WOWIE!! 'RAGING WATERS?!?' The WHOLE DAY?!?- Momma, this will be great!!! You an' me an' Pickle...¨
¨No, 'Sali- Mommas going to bow out on this one... Auntie Bud will be taking you, and I think Kevin might tag along... but Mommas got to rest from the party... I did too much dancing yesterday for my own good and I'm hurting right now,¨ Katherine said.
¨And- and too much necking too... that's what Auntie Phix said... Momma, what's necking?¨ Castela asked.
Katherine blushed, ¨You'll find out only too soon, I suppose... BOTH OF YOU, TOWELS AND SWIMSUITS NOW! And Sali, do NOT wear that thing that your Auntie Jin got for you,¨
¨I'm not planning to, Mom- I really don't trust it,¨
¨Neither do I¨ thought Katherine.

Bud picked them up... with Kevin in tow, as Kathy suspected- and in short order, all was quiet in the apartment.
Then came the knock on the door.
All a flutter, Kathy went to open the front door.

Those standing outside saw a handsome fellow standing at the front door of an apartment. Then they saw the door open, a hand reach out and grab the fellow and haul him inside.
Then the door slammed shut.

... and locked...

[Dave]

BWAHAHA! That's one hell of a trombone, Sarge!

[Sgt. Howard]

Justin was in the netherworld between sleep and awake... and not wanting to leave sleep. He was wrapped in the arms of a Sphinx, the one who was his beloved, bathed in her musk and resting his head on her breast. It is a delightful place to be, safe and comforting... but something required his attention, required that he be awake and would not be silenced.
That was his very full bladder.
Finally loosing the argument, he slipped out of the massive arms... Shelly had finally figured out that sleep was far easier in her native form, and Justin had not only accepted this, but gotten quite comfortable with being a 'teddy bear' to a large, dangerous creature at night. Padding gently to the bathroom (and berating himself over his slight hangover), he found relief and returned to face the monster of his beadroom in the hallway-
"My turn," she mumbled, clearly in no better condition than himself. She reduced to human form, as the typical toilet serves no purpose to a large, feral animal, and sought her comfort. Justin wandered to the kitchen and poured two tall glasses of tomato juice, squeezed a lime into each one and then doused each heavily with tobasco sauce... finishing up with a dash of sea salt and pepper. He finished just as Shelly wandered out to where he was.
"Read my mind," she murmured as she grabbed one of the glasses and began to drink, "WHUFF! A little heavy on the hot sauce there, Kimosabe- or perhaps it's just been a while since we've resorted to this sort of thing,"
"I suspect that to be the case," he responded, then took a pull off his own, "YAH! Yea, it's a little... rude..."
She snickered, "That's ONE way to put it... but it does what it's supposed to do... what are your plans for the day?"
"I'm not needed on shift until tomorrow afternoon," he replied, "so I have some time to play with,"
"I'm not doing any classes until Wednsday... what would tickle your fancy?"
He thought a bit... "How about I wrap you around me and we continue to recover?"
"And what if we do more than... recover?"
"I will not complain..."

Phix had dumped the last of the three remaining 'Black Magics' some time ago- now she had a recording of a fifth-grade brass band doing mortal injury to J.P. Sousa's 'Stars and Stripe Forever'... the volume was that of a pneumatic drill at three paces. It was very evident that the bulk of the students could barely read music... and one of the clarinet players clearly had a split reed... Phix sang along;
"Be kind to your web-footed friends- for a duck may be somebody's MUUUUUTHER.... be kind to your friends in the swamp- where the weather is very damp...and you may think that this is the end... well it AIN'T..."
There was a selection to go thru... including some truly awful bagpipe music and a fourth-grade violin recital that was BEYOND painful... even to a non-hungover ear... Nudge had to be put into a straight jacket, as she had tried to claw her face off to distract herself from the noise. First they washed her off with a 4" fire hose of course- no need to soil the jacket- then she was unceremoniously stuffed into said wardrobe and the buckles were secured. All she was capable of doing was moaning in agony.
Neil walked into the room.
"The kid playing cymbals has NO sense of rhythm, " he commented.
" I know... THAT's what totally makes it for me," Phix replied.
Neil watched Nudge for a short... "Honey... this has gone far enough. She's in shellshock- we might be doing permanent damage,"
"SHE MIGHT HAVE KILLED SOMEBODY!!! INCLUDING YOU!!! OR ME!!! OR 'SALI!!!"
"PHIX! This isn't right... not any more... let her out and hydrate her before she goes over the edge,"
"CORNELIUS! I AM CONTROLLING THIS!!!"
"... and I am asking you to shut it down..."
"NO!!!"
"...dear, shut it down,"
"... but..."
"... dear, shut it down..."
With a perfect pout, she shut off the CD player. Nudge was dry retching in the corner, nearly in convultions from dehydration and over-stimulation. Neil released her from the straightjacket and she basically tumbled out onto the floor, arms curled into themselves and legs tuck fully into the body, unconscious. Neil went to the door-
"Get a medtech in here NOW!" he bellowed, "... we need an IV and some anti-convulsant,"
Phix looked at Nudge, realizing now what she had done.
She felt sick with self-loathing.

Suzi was up and around inside the library... she had passed out last night, not so much to alcohol as to exertion. She woke up in a small alcove on a stack of books with a trickle of dried blood down each corner of her mouth. She stopped to consider the night before... no, she hadn't bitten anybody... the barkeep had a remarkable supply of AB positive (fresh, VERY hard to come by) and she had been downing them with vodka... in moderation... her head wasn't hurting as much as her legs, back and neck. Between dancing like a fool and sleeping on books, well, she figured, THAT ought to be expected.
Walking past the outer parameters of medieval history, she heard the commotion in one of the "Quiet rooms". Investigating, she heard call for a medtech and saw one scrambling to the rescue of... somebody... she went into the room.
Nudge was curled up into a ball, eyes vacant, mouth drooling and body shaking in waves. Her color was quite pale compared to what was normal for her. She recognized the symptoms immediately- hypovolemic shock. She was dehydrated to dangerous levels, and malnourished at a cellular level.
She needed whole blood.
The medtech had also recognized this- and had no means of determining her blood type.
Suzi pushed him aside and curled her upper lip while poised directly over her neck, exposing her fangs. The medtech went to intervene, but Neil held him back-
"Suzi- what is she?" he asked.
" She's 'A' positive, I'm sure of it," replied the vampire. She then sniffed everybody in the room in the same manner... quite unnerving, having a vampire expose her fangs that close to your neck... then she stopped at Phix.
"You- you're 'A' negative- an excellent match,"
Phix simply asked, "how much do you need?"

[Dave]

Phix had dumped the last of the three remaining 'Black Magics' some time ago- now she had a recording of a fifth-grade brass band doing mortal injury to J.P. Sousa's 'Stars and Stripe Forever'... the volume was that of a pneumatic drill at three paces. It was very evident that the bulk of the students could barely read music... and one of the clarinet players clearly had a split reed...

Say it out, say it proud - I've a horn, and I'm loud!

[jwhouk]

---

I returned to the Library the following day to do some reading up on things. I now knew for certain why most of the paras were so impressed by my actions with Cavin - I'd basically commanded a tiger to stop roaring.

Successfully.

I was flipping through another tome that dealt with fae-folk and development strategies when I sensed someone looking at me. I turned and saw a large, bleary-eyed creature - half-female, half-goat, and "trickster" written all over her face.

"Why, hello, Nudge," I said pleasantly. "How are you this fine day?"

"You're lucky, you know," she spoke in a low rumble. "I read between the lines of that stupid report of yours. You had no freaking clue what you were doing."

"There's where you were wrong," I said, turning back to my book and almost absently closing it. "I'd found research about apparitions, and how they could be dismissed by just concentrating. Good stuff from a friend of mine from middle Tennessee."

"You're a FRAUD," she replied angrily. "All you do is sit at work and type away crap on a computer all night!" She pointed a finger in my face. "You're nothing more than a two-bit writer of elaborate FAN FICTION. And if it wasn't for the work of other people, you wouldn't have SHIT published in this Library!"

I held up my hand.

"Ah, but I do have works published here, my dear. And much of it when I was younger - and either knew or cared that there was such a repository as this." I looked closely at her. "I also know that many great authors - who are also here - borrowed heavily from the works of others. Shakespeare, Tolkien, Rowling, Martin... should I go on?"

Nudge's eyes narrowed.

"No, no need. You've got your access. But I'll keep an eye on you."

"That's just fine," I replied, turning back to my book. She gave a huff and began to walk off.

"Oh, by the way?"

She stopped and looked at me.

"What?"

"Neil gave me his 26 difference recipes for goat." I smiled sweetly at her.

Her face narrowed.

"I hate that man," she grumbled to herself as she stormed back to her personal lair.

[jwhouk]

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The Cavin Foxglove Incident, sadly, will likely be nothing more than the Infamous Noodle Incident for the foreseeable future. I have disclosed to my co-author the reasons why.

[lake_wrangler]

Justin was in the netherworld between sleep and awake...
[...]
"My turn," she mumbled, clearly in no better contition than himself. She reduced to human form, as the typical toilet serves no purpose to a large, feral animal, and sought her comfort. Kevin wandered to the kitchen and poured two tall glasses of tomato juice, squeezed a lime into each one and then doused each heavily with tobasco sauce...

The amazing, transforming boyfriend?


Don't let that fool you: I am still loving every minute of this!

[Sgt. Howard]

Justin was in the netherworld between sleep and awake...
[...]
"My turn," she mumbled, clearly in no better contition than himself. She reduced to human form, as the typical toilet serves no purpose to a large, feral animal, and sought her comfort. Kevin wandered to the kitchen and poured two tall glasses of tomato juice, squeezed a lime into each one and then doused each heavily with tobasco sauce...

The amazing, transforming boyfriend?


Don't let that fool you: I am still loving every minute of this!

Aw crap! Thank you... I really need a scorecard in front of me sometimes...

[Sgt. Howard]

WARNING: SECOND HALF NSFW, PG-13

"SHAZOWIE!!!" yelled Castela as she plummeted down the steepest slide that "Raging Waters" had to offer. Several times on the way down, she 'caught air' off her tube enough to hit the slide with a resounding "WUMP!!" as she careened though twists and turns at what seemed like freeway speeds' Each departure from the slide seemed that much more precarious than the last... which, of course, only served to make little Pickle giggle and squeal that much louder.
Finally, she hit the end of the slide- skipping across the end pool without the tube like a stone flung by an expert. Finally, with a wet gurgle, she disassembled into the water only to emerge intact at the far end.
"I'm- I'm doin' it AGAIN!!" she squealed as she scampered up the steps one more time- there was no waiting, as she was the only one in the whole park that had the courage (or, lack of fear) to ride the near-suicidal slide.
"Brave little stinkweed, isn't she?" Bud observed.
"She is that- can you imagine her at school? The teachers will be at their wit's end by a week," Kevin replied- "...actually, now that I think about it, she already had a meltdown in Kindergarten that terrified the staff... almost killed the fae kid that Moni... uh... that is,"
"Her name is Monica and her ghost doesn't bother me... much... yea, I heard about that- 'Daughter of the Blackthorn' and all that... she was actually an experiment to turn a sentient plant into a weapon of some kind," Bud replied.
"Auntie Bud, come with me on the "Dragon's Den"!" blurted out an excited Atsali, " It is so TOTALLY cool!!! Totally enclosed, you get all sorts of blind corners... c'mon!!!"
"Go ahead, Bud... I'll keep an eye on Pickle. Good thing the park waived the height requirements for paranormals..."

Katherine started- she was in odd circumstances. She had fallen asleep (or passed out?) on a lumpy mattress... or WAS it a mattress? For one thing, it was breathing... mattresses don't do that, right? For another, it was narrow... it had an odd shape... and arms... arms that wrap around and feel lovely, especially the one caressing her left...
OK, THIS was NOT a mattress- Mattresses don't do that... sort of thing... if they did, you would never be able to keep them in stock...

She dared to open her eyes

She was laying on top of Buck. The only thing between them was sweat. She was tired... no, exhausted... and a little tender here and there... more there than here in fact... and something needed to be removed from there for her to move. She was parked... more like 'impaled'...
She slipped off to the side, causing him to gasp and open his eyes. He looked at her-
"Excuse me lady, does this bus stop at Topeka?" he asked.
"No... but it's been to hell and back from what I can tell," she replied.
"Rough ride?"
"Buck, I feel like I've ridden the Karma Suthra on a JACKHAMMER!!! ... not that I am complaining... but DAMN, boy!!! I think there's a break-in period for girls like me, as in 'no full throttle'!" she tried to sound grumpy, but it really wasn't working.
"Sorry 'bout that (he wasn't), seems I got a little carried away (understatement of the year)... any regrets?"
"... only that we didn't meet sooner... you're pretty good at holding a human form... from what I've been told, that's hard to do during sex,"
"I have to admit, that surprised me too- I REALLY didn't want to wreck your bed, you see..."
"Oh GAWD!" Katherine spouted at the thought of a man/horse suddenly being in her bed. Both started to laugh.
"Yea," he chuckled, "that took quite some concentration,"
"...is THAT why... it takes you so long to... you know..."
"Probably- YOU had no trouble there,"
She covered her mouth,"I lost count ... real early... I almost asked you to stop a couple of times because it was too intense,"
"Why didn't you?"
"Lost in the moment.." and she giggled, "... say, Buck- I'm not sure how you might feel about this... can I ride you? I mean, while you are a Centaur?"
He looked at her a bit with a satisfied smile- "Darlin' you can ride me bareback with spurs for all I care... just as long as I get to ride you... and you might want to check your 'bus ticket, because I'm pretty sure it's 'round trip',"
She looked at him, big eyed, "You... you're kidding... after ... what? Six? Seven? You've GOT to be kidding..." she reached down to find...

He wasn't kidding,

[jwhouk]

Aw crap! Thank you... I really need a scorecard in front of me sometimes...

You think it's bad for us? Whaddya think it is for Paul?

(Psst: recent installment had wrong person talking about 'Daughter of Blackthorn'...)

Oh, and...

WHINNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

[Sgt. Howard]

Aw crap! Thank you... I really need a scorecard in front of me sometimes...

You think it's bad for us? Whaddya think it is for Paul?

(Psst: recent installment had wrong person talking about 'Daughter of Blackthorn'...)

Oh, and...

WHINNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

corrected- thank you

[Dave]

Oh, and...

WHINNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Careful, Joe. Keep doing that to your throat and you'll make yourself hoarse.

[jwhouk]

Oh, and...

WHINNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Careful, Joe. Keep doing that to your throat and you'll make yourself hoarse.

YOU watch it or the Pun Vault will make you listen to that Sousa-by-fifth-graders CD of Phix's...

[Sgt. Howard]

Oh, and...

WHINNNNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

Careful, Joe. Keep doing that to your throat and you'll make yourself hoarse.

YOU watch it or the Pun Vault will make you listen to that Sousa-by-fifth-graders CD of Phix's...

THAT cd was banned in fifteen states and requires special permits in ten others- Texas recently allowed that 'forcing anyone to VIEW said Visual document and LISTEN to the ... sounds... thereof could be grounds for justifiable homicide,"

[Dave]

YOU watch it or the Pun Vault will make you listen to that Sousa-by-fifth-graders CD of Phix's...

Whoooo... me? I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Sgt. Howard]

YOU watch it or the Pun Vault will make you listen to that Sousa-by-fifth-graders CD of Phix's...

Whoooo... me? I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.

Kathy's expression when she looked at Buck's... credentials...

[Sgt. Howard]

WARNING- NSFW, PG13
Nudge started to regain some function... slowly she opened her eyes. The toradol had knocked the headache to a dull roar, the tigan injection had her stomach under control and the two units of lactated Ringers' solution put her eyes back in focus... but the real help came from two units of fresh, whole blood, the last of which was being transferred directly from Phix's arm into Nudge's via hemopump... a rather ancient way to do such things by today's standard, but still functional. She looked at her arm, then at the IV tubing, the pump, and finally at Phix... it took a few moments to register what was going on.
"Sorry..." she muttered, "I got carried away..."
"... yea, well... so did I..." replied Phix.
They remained silent as the medtech continued with the last of the transfer.
"She'll be OK?" Suzi asked Neil.
"I... doubt it... she never was..." he replied, "but I am worried about Phix- she's packing a little one, hardly an ideal donor for two units,"
"Stanly is pressing her on orange juice, she will be receiving pack cells if she gets into trouble... she'll be alright- how about you?"
"Hmf! How about me? Had a good scare, that's all... "
"... Nudge means that much to you?"
"No, but she DOES mean something to Phix... and if Phix had killed her... nobody needs that..."

"Alan, Honey... who should we have cater this? They will have to 'poit' everything to the island, you know,"
"I'm thinking of the same people who did Neil and Phix's wedding- they had a pretty handsome spread there. DEFINATLY want the same bartender and Tina's espresso operation. You've got the list pretty well figured out, right?"
Jin frowned at the paper in question- "I'm thinking that we need to see if Kathy is ... I.. don't know what to call it... 'interested?'... 'dating?'... that fellow she was dancing with at the wedding... maybe I ought to pop over there and ask her..."
"Good idea- let me know if you two are going to gossip... I can catch a game..."

"Buck..(huff)..Buck..(huff)..BUCK!... (huff, huff)... S... STOP! (huff, huff)" gasped Katherine.
"...?...you alright?" Buck asked her.
NO,..(huff).. dear... we've been..(huff).. at this... what?..(huff).. three, four..(huff).. hours? Darling I am..(huff).. RAW!"
He pondered her for a moment- "Kiss it and make it feel better?" he offered in a schmaltzy, child-like voice.
"Kiss it...?... OH!... you... you would DO that?" she asked.
"I can't promise I know what I'm doing, but yea I will- here, I'll get off of you, I lay on my back, you spin around and lay on top of me... there..."
"OK... now what? Oh! OH! OH MY! OH MY! OH MY! OH...huh?"- something had slapped the side of her face lightly- she looked to see what it was...

"oh... my..."

Jin was not gone more that three seconds when she re-appeared, blushing deep scarlet.
"Honey... that you? What's the word?"
"Um... I'm pretty sure ... her fellow will be coming..."
"pretty much what he is doing right now" she thought

[Dave]

And there, we have the social problem in a nutshell.

How the &^%$&%^ does somebody who gets around by poiting, comply with the "Knock before you enter" convention?

[jwhouk]

This keeps up, Atsali and Castela are going to have their own little brother/sister in nine months...

(By the way, a point of order: does Buck have a last name, or is that a plot point?)

[Dave]

This keeps up, Atsali and Castela are going to have their own little brother/sister in nine months...

Do we know whether Katherine is duodeciploid?

(By the way, a point of order: does Buck have a last name, or is that a plot point?)

Considering they met at a dance, I suspect it's "Andwing".