Santa Claus

[Catawampus]

Santa Claus makes things very uncomfortable for me. Parents, teachers, adult acquaintances, and media all conspire together to basically lie to kids for years of their lives. And it's not like religious parents raising their children to believe in their religion; in that case, the parents are teaching their kids what they themselves actually believe to be true, and I can at least respect that much even when I don't agree with the truth of their particular religion. With Santa, though, the adults know that it is all false (though I suppose that there are a few exceptions, but I'm not sure how many such adults would actually have children).

When children come up to me and start talking about Santa, I really don't know what to do. I don't agree with lying to children, and I always try to give them full and honest answers when I talk to them. That's how kids learn about the world around them. At the same time, however, I don't want to go across the grain of the parents' raising of their own children. Plus, leaving a trail of bawling tykes behind me would not be very pleasant.

For that matter, what happens when a child does finally figure out or learn the truth? I've never seen that moment happen. I'd imagine that it could be a quite traumatic time for the kid, discovering that a beloved icon of your life is fake and that the world—including your own trusted family—has been deceiving you.

[Dave]

For that matter, what happens when a child does finally figure out or learn the truth? I've never seen that moment happen. I'd imagine that it could be a quite traumatic time for the kid, discovering that a beloved icon of your life is fake and that the world—including your own trusted family—has been deceiving you.

I remember when I figured it out... I don't remember just what it was that clued me in (likely something I overheard my parents discussing). I said to my Dad "You're Santa, aren't you?" He smiled and said "Yes. Don't tell your brothers, OK?" I understood that he didn't want me to "spoil the magic" for them, agreed, and they figured it out themselves when they reached about the same age I had been.

I think I realized then that "Santa Claus" was a story of the imagination, just like many other childhood stories I had been read or been told... just one that my parents had gone to some trouble to make "realer" than usual by giving me special gifts. It didn't bother me at all... if anything I appreciated the "game".

Having my parents' marriage fall apart a few years after that, not understanding what was really happening there, and spending years of my childhood thinking that we were the only "divorced family" in the school because divorce was something that people just Didn't Talk About (this was the mid-1960s)... now that bothered me. 'Twas a much harsher dose of cold reality in the face than "losing Santa" could ever have been.

[GlytchMeister]

My mom explained it something like this...

The whole concept of Santa, a single person so selfless and kind and devoted, helped to idolize that kind of behavior.

Granted, I think that the whole Santa legend should be presented to kids like any normal fictional story. Kids who read Harry Potter don't think Hogwarts is real (at least, no more than a normal Willing Suspension of Disbelief). Heck, I'm pretty sure nobody reading Wapsi Square thinks any of the paranormal stuff is real.

[Jabberwonky]

My mom explained it something like this...

The whole concept of Santa, a single person so selfless and kind and devoted, helped to idolize that kind of behavior.

Granted, I think that the whole Santa legend should be presented to kids like any normal fictional story. Kids who read Harry Potter don't think Hogwarts is real (at least, no more than a normal Willing Suspension of Disbelief). Heck, I'm pretty sure nobody reading Wapsi Square thinks any of the paranormal stuff is real.

O_O Wait! Whut?

[Atomic]

What a sad world it would be if there was no magic for the little children to wish upon. When Baum wrote The Wizard of Oz, he was pilloried in some circles for inciting unrealistic desires in the minds of impressionable children (the poor dears), etc, etc. This, of course, completely misses the points of the story of courage, cooperation, exploration, curiosity, selflessness, and many other things that are part and parcel of adulthood in a civil society, much less a happy world.

So long as Santa is introduced as a representation of faith - that there is goodness in the world - and that rewards can come to you because of it (or not, if you're naughty), then that child is seeing a bit further than themselves. They begin to see themselves as part of a larger world. And that's a good thing.

[Dave]

Heck, I'm pretty sure nobody reading Wapsi Square thinks any of the paranormal stuff is real.

O_O Wait! Whut?

Never scoff at Jungian archetypes. Even when they're fictional, they can still bite you quite royally in the ass.

What a sad world it would be if there was no magic for the little children to wish upon. When Baum wrote The Wizard of Oz, he was pilloried in some circles for inciting unrealistic desires in the minds of impressionable children (the poor dears), etc, etc. This, of course, completely misses the points of the story of courage, cooperation, exploration, curiosity, selflessness, and many other things that are part and parcel of adulthood in a civil society, much less a happy world.

So long as Santa is introduced as a representation of faith - that there is goodness in the world - and that rewards can come to you because of it (or not, if you're naughty), then that child is seeing a bit further than themselves. They begin to see themselves as part of a larger world. And that's a good thing.

Well said, and I quite agree. A lot of the best childhood stories (and some damned fine adult tales e.g. Lord of the Rings) are placed in fantastic settings, but with the story being firmly wrapped around the sort of core virtues you mention. The fantasy captures the reader's imagination... it's the "carrier"... and a lot of powerful social and moral and ethical messages sneak in as "sidebands". (Sorry, I'm radio-nerding here, but it actually is a pretty good analogy).

If you try to sterilize away the fantasy... well, I think it was Dickens who portrayed a thoroughly dour English schoolmaster during the Industrial Revolution who insisted on his students taking an attitude of cold reality and utter practicality towards everything. No imagining, no fantasy, no feckless creativity.

He was referred as Mr. M'choakumchild.

[Tenjen]

we replace Santa with much more subtle dreams, beliefs and hopes as we grow up. Such little magics and the process of growing past some of them and retaining the one's we forge can into reality is part of our humanity. Be it Santa, flight or space walks. We grow from santa to bigger subjects.

Feeling some deja vu here. errrrr

edit: AHA, when I typed all that it sparked a memory of related matter. Terry Pratchet, the HogFather. A quote.. (the character speaking in full capitals is not shouting, his voice just..stands out a lot..to put it one way.

All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."

REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.

"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"

YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.

"So we can believe the big ones?"

YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.

"They're not the same at all!"

YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET

*Death waves his hand*.

AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.

"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point..."

MY POINT EXACTLY.”

- Susan & Death converse (Terry Pratchett, - The HogFather

“You need to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become?” -Death

[Julie]

I remember when I figured it out...and I remember trying to act like I didn't know because I was worried I'd get fewer presents that year (since some of my presents were always from "Santa"). Honestly, I'm with a lot of the other folks here on this one. I think that it's fun to let kids believe in magic and miracles because it helps you maintain your own sense of joy and wonder when you get to experience it anew with children. I vaguely recall the conversation with my parents about it when I finally fessed up that I knew Santa wasn't "real." I believe that they told me something like this: "Santa Claus as he is portrayed every year is not a real "person" in that there isn't someone magicking his way down a chimney to drop off presents made by a band of elves in the cold North pole. However, the character we know as Santa Claus is based on a real person who lived a long time ago, so he is real as an historical figure. Also, the spirit of Santa Claus is real as long as we remember the importance of giving to those we love and those who have less than we do. That's why you will always have presents under our tree from Santa for as long as you celebrate Christmas with us."

Honestly, my parents allowed me to hold onto the magic of Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy for much longer than I probably "needed" to just because they knew how much I enjoyed the mystery of how things could happen while I was sleeping without my knowledge (nevermind the fact that I can apparently sleep through all manner of loud noises and movement...that just didn't occur to me as a kid ). When I tried to prove to my cousins and friends that I was "grown up" by ruining the mystery for younger kids (I wasn't trying to be mean...just trying to be "older" than I was), they went out of their way to make things happen that would "prove" me wrong and make me believe again. I never experienced any agony or heartache over learning that these characters weren't actually real...and that my parents and other family members had "lied" to me for years. I was always certainly sad to let the magic go, but they managed to explain things to me in a way that made me appreciate why they did it, and why it was important to let me allow my younger friends and family make this discovery on their own. They made it sound like this was a natural and important part of growing up...which if you think about it is pretty damn true...part of growing up is accepting that the world isn't perfect and things don't always happen the way they're "supposed to" or the way you want them to. Letting go of Santa and the others was just one more step in coming to understand that fact.

And if you're really worried about this being a "lie" that shouldn't be perpetuated for children, think of this: I volunteered in my church's vacation bible school puppet show one year in high school. I voiced and manipulated the Australian kangaroo puppet that taught kids the importance of caring for others. The whole week, I hid behind a curtained wall and no one knew it was me voicing the puppet, but at the end of the week they had all of the puppeteers come out from behind the curtain to do their final performance where the kids could see us with our arms up the backs of the puppets. At the end, the kids were encouraged to come forward and ask us questions. Almost every single child that approached me would timidly ask me if they could talk to "Can-Do Kangaroo," and then begin a lively chat with the puppet on my hand...even as the words obviously left my mouth, they treated him like he was real and something separate from me...and then they would give him a hug...and I would hug them back as best I could with my fingers in the little arm holes. It didn't matter to them that he was a puppet. He was still "real"...even when the magic had been exposed as a "lie." To me, that's what the magic of Santa is like, and who am I to take that away from them?

[TazManiac]

It's been said, an well(ly?) said already so I'll just add that I've yet to meet that traumatized child, damaged when they found out Santa wasn't 'real'.

I can understand not wanting to lie, esp to children, but still...

[Mark N]

It's been said, an well(ly?) said already so I'll just add that I've yet to meet that traumatized child, damaged when they found out Santa wasn't 'real'.

I can understand not wanting to lie, esp to children, but still...

People seem to forget that the "little white lie" is sometimes a necessary evil in a polite society. I find that Santa is one such white lie. It exists to spread a magical joy to kids and adults alike. If we held onto the idea of no lies then there are no magic shows or fiction. The important thing here is to remember to teach the children the difference between the kinds of lie at the end of the day.

[jwhouk]

Nikolaos of Myra was real, and was the inspiration for the legend of Santa Claus. I'd be all for explaining to children that story.

[Dave]

Nikolaos of Myra was real, and was the inspiration for the legend of Santa Claus. I'd be all for explaining to children that story.

And I can tell you that it's more than a bit surreal, sailing along the Turquoise Coast to a small town on the south coast of Turkey, and finding the town just chock-full of statues of Santa Claus!

[ActionKermit]

For my part, I remember being happy I figured out the puzzle when I realized Santa was imaginary.