Wapsi Square Forum

lake_wrangler wrote:

Sgt. Howard wrote:assumin' nuthin' goes wrong...

Hush, you fool! That's almost as bad as "What's the worst that can happen?", "Is that all you got?", "At least, the worst is over/at least, it can't get any worse...", and so on...

Heh... and if everything went smooth as silk, Y'all wouldn't find any of this an interesting readn now would ye? ThereWILL be a calamity of SOME stripe- this is Al and Greg getting together, right? The Gods of Mayhem rejoice when these two are in each other's company...

ThereWILL be a calamity of SOME stripe- this is Al and Greg getting together, right?

That's what's holding up the end of Stable Relationship. I haven't thought of a good calamity that I can fit the other components around.

Warrl wrote:

ThereWILL be a calamity of SOME stripe- this is Al and Greg getting together, right?

That's what's holding up the end of Stable Relationship. I haven't thought of a good calamity that I can fit the other components around.

I WONDERED why that came to a halt.....

Well, if it's Al and Greg involved, the calamity seems likely to involve either motor vehicles, firearms, or British cuisine. Possibly in combination.

Perhaps an attempt was made to weaponize black pudding, and it went terribly wrong somehow? (although I'm not at all sure that such a venture could have "gone right", for that matter)

Dave wrote:Well, if it's Al and Greg involved, the calamity seems likely to involve either motor vehicles, firearms, or British cuisine. Possibly in combination.

Perhaps an attempt was made to weaponize black pudding, and it went terribly wrong somehow? (although I'm not at all sure that such a venture could have "gone right", for that matter)

(pg. 762 in the personal shop log notebook)- August 21, 2008; Hardened aged cheddar does NOT make a decent projectile in a 12 pound Napoleon artillery piece... fragments too easy. Black pudding makes a lovely projectile from a penetrational standpoint, but is a bear to clean out of the bore. The delivery of SFC William Masterson's ashes out of the same tube went remarkably well, his family was quite pleased with the send-off... excellent scattering, btw... local VFW are requesting it be available for future events of similar nature. Delivered two '08/'15 Spandau simulators to Old Reinbeck Aerodrome, they seem quite pleased... says they will give 'buzzing sheep' a whole new dimension once they are properly mounted on the Dr-1. Mike dropped off two Marlin lever actions in 30-30, a model 94 'chester in the same, a 721 Remington in 30'06 and a 'chester 1200 pump in 12 gauge,all for assessment and QM... to be delivered next week. Annie keeps pestering me for a .44 mag...

Seriously, I seem to recall reading of a pyrotechnician who specified that his ashes were to be loaded into shells (I seem to remember it was a specific type of shell) and fired off in a certain annual display . . . probably Independence Day, though possibly not.

--FreeFlier

They shall harvest my carcass for anything that could possibly help somebody else- then cremate. No formaldehyde. Load the ashes into a 12 pounder (Original- the 3rd US Heavy Artillery, a Union Civil War re-enactor's group, will have the honors) and fire them over the South San Francisco Bay. No tombstone, no gravesite, no worries- "Ashes to ashes and dust to dust". Dealt with.

After organ and tissue donation, I want my body to be given over to scientific research. Anything left after that is to be used as fertilizer for an apple tree, and I want the apples to be freely available to the public to pick and consume.

Preferably near a homeless shelter or something.

"Help other people at all times" is a big part of an oath I swore every week for many years. I ain't letting death stop me from doing just that.

...

If there's nothing left after the organ/tissue donation and the scientific research, plant the apple tree anyway.

You guys are missing the point. It isn't where the body ends up that matters, it's how many people get arrested at the send-off!

Get it RIGHT, then!

If mention of your demise in a group of friends does not provoke at least 20 minutes of stories about mayhem, carnage and drunken libidinous behaviour you didn't set it up right.

Warrl wrote:

ThereWILL be a calamity of SOME stripe- this is Al and Greg getting together, right?

That's what's holding up the end of Stable Relationship. I haven't thought of a good calamity that I can fit the other components around.

Okay, some ideas (including a reminder from Sgt. Howard) fell into bed together in my head and produced a whole litter of kittens... I know the generalities of what's going to happen.

So, naturally, I'm going to spend the entire day driving.

Just Old Al wrote:You guys are missing the point. It isn't where the body ends up that matters, it's how many people get arrested at the send-off!

Does it count if nobody got arrested because (1) the local cops were afraid to make any arrests; or (2) the entire local department were in attendance?

Just Old Al wrote:If mention of your demise in a group of friends does not provoke at least 20 minutes of stories about mayhem, carnage and drunken libidinous behaviour you didn't set it up right.

Mine won't involve drunkenness . . . so there will have to be enough mayhem and chaos to make up for it.

--FreeFlier

FreeFlier wrote:

Just Old Al wrote:You guys are missing the point. It isn't where the body ends up that matters, it's how many people get arrested at the send-off!

Does it count if nobody got arrested because (1) the local cops were afraid to make any arrests; or (2) the entire local department were in attendance?

Attendance at the send-off will be a given- some to mourn, some to celebrate and others trying to figure out why three battalions worth of Rebels, Union, WWII German, British, American and Russian as well as several SCA types in full armor are congregating at a certain overlook in Benicia California... oh, and several veterans, stage types and Doctors and Nurses

Just Old Al wrote:If mention of your demise in a group of friends does not provoke at least 20 minutes of stories about mayhem, carnage and drunken libidinous behaviour you didn't set it up right.

Mine won't involve drunkenness . . . so there will have to be enough mayhem and chaos to make up for it.

--FreeFlier

My drinking days are the stuff of legend, I am somewhat sorry to say... but I was sufficiently ... noteworthy... when sober.

There are many reasons I don't drink. One of them is because it removes inhibitions.
...
Y'know, those little things that keep me from glassing continents by accident because I wanted to see what happens if you create a hurricane-sized airmass entirely out of monotomic Fluorine gas.

It'd be neat, though. I bet it would make for a great screensaver, like a lot of those MythBuster Slomo camera results.

monotomic Fluorine gas.

That's difficult, and incredibly nasty, stuff.

The four things a fluorine atom hates the most, in descending order:
1) being alone
2) another fluorine atom
3) an oxygen atom
4) any molecule that doesn't have a fluorine atom

So I'm guessing that in the presence of monotomic fluorine gas, nitrogen, oxygen, and carbon dioxide are flammable.

There aren't many things in the universe that aren't flammable... or even not extremely hypergolic... in the presence of monatomic fluorine gas.

That's one of the relatively few chemicals that make even the least cautious and most pyromaniacal little imaginary voices in my head say "Now hold on just a damn minute, you..."

Y'all are making me think of the movie SOB now. Stealing the body from the funeral home, viking boat send off...
Dangit, I want an extended Wapsiverse story about paranormal funeral shenanigans now, but how to do it without killing anybody off? ^_^

Create an old classmate renewing contacts in preparation....

AmriloJim wrote:Create an old classmate renewing contacts in preparation....

Are you suggesting they intentionally create a Red Shirt™ character???

Too late now: we know of the possibility, so it won't feel as real...

chicgeek wrote:Y'all are making me think of the movie SOB now. Stealing the body from the funeral home, viking boat send off...
Dangit, I want an extended Wapsiverse story about paranormal funeral shenanigans now, but how to do it without killing anybody off? ^_^

Neither Al nor Greg are young men...and both have extended circles of friends...

More seriously, I don't tend to write about sadness - but this might have possibilities. We shall see.