Wapsi Square Forum

This orgy of self-revealed embarrassments is making me think we have a bonding in progress.
From here on out they may actually be able to trust each other.

Dave wrote:

oldmanmickey wrote:lighting farts is just a sick idea, no class, no cooth ( i wounder if it really works, humm)

The results can be explosive.

Wow, i had no idea a heard of cattle could be classified as WMD's.

oldmanmickey wrote:

Dave wrote:

oldmanmickey wrote:lighting farts is just a sick idea, no class, no cooth ( i wounder if it really works, humm)

The results can be explosive.

Wow, i had no idea a heard of cattle could be classified as WMD's.

You never worked on a farm that has dairy cows before then. In the wee hours of the morning there tends to be a low hanging fog of cow gas that seeps onto the adjoining roads in Davie, Florida. And yes it smells like a sewer.

Dave wrote:The results can be explosive.

Cool to see scientists are finally developing self cooking beef.

shadowinthelight wrote:

Dave wrote:The results can be explosive.

Cool to see scientists are finally developing self cooking beef.

'Tis an outgrowth of the research was intended to breed a spherical chicken of uniform density.

I remember seeing a show on PBS some years ago - British-made, about a gent who worked as a country vet in the English country-side for some years. On one occasion he was called on to help out with a cow which had developed a bad case of bloat (rumenal tympany). A cow's stomach (rumen) can trap a lot of gas which would otherwise be belched out, if the cow eats the wrong things. The rumen contents foam up as they're fermented by the commensal microbes in the rumen, and the cow can't belch. This puts pressure on the cow's other internal organs and the cow can die.

In severe cases, the remedy is a "bloat stab"... you actually stab through the cow's ribs into the rumen to release the built-up fermentation gasses. The cow "generally survives" (according to one pamphlet) but it's still pretty hard on the cow.

If I recall the bit correctly, the vet decided to let his new assistant do it for the first time, then stepped outside the building... and the new assistant (not knowing better) lit up a cigarette and then went ahead with the stab procedure.

Stab. Whoosh. WHOOMPH!

The cow had a very startled look on its face as it bolted from the barn.

shadowinthelight wrote:

Dave wrote:The results can be explosive.

Cool to see scientists are finally developing self cooking beef.

Trying to hold a straight face, trying to hold a straight face, trying to hold...

oldmanmickey wrote:lighting farts is just a sick idea, no class, no cooth ( i wounder if it really works, humm)

Just make sure you don't try it wearing loose boxers. One of my buddies in Navy A school had to explain to them at Sick Bay how he managed to singe most of the hair on his net hers when the resulting flare got caught in his skivvies.

Lois Bujold's "The Vor Game" has a bit where trainees assigned to an arctic base unpopularly known as "Camp Permafrost" cause a barracks fire by lighting farts.

Miles Vorkosigan suggests disarming the arsonists by removing bean soup and boiled cabbage from the mess hall menus.

AnotherFairportfan wrote:Just make sure you don't try it wearing loose boxers. One of my buddies in Navy A school had to explain to them at Sick Bay how he managed to singe most of the hair on his net hers when the resulting flare got caught in his skivvies.

Briefs aren't much safer. My dad probably felt like he sat on a hot plate.

His buddy described it as looking like a fireball had gone off inside his skivvies.

Dave wrote: I remember seeing a show on PBS some years ago - British-made, about a gent who worked as a country vet in the English country-side for some years. On one occasion he was called on to help out with a cow which had developed a bad case of bloat (rumenal tympany). A cow's stomach (rumen) can trap a lot of gas which would otherwise be belched out, if the cow eats the wrong things. The rumen contents foam up as they're fermented by the commensal microbes in the rumen, and the cow can't belch. This puts pressure on the cow's other internal organs and the cow can die.

In severe cases, the remedy is a "bloat stab"... you actually stab through the cow's ribs into the rumen to release the built-up fermentation gasses. The cow "generally survives" (according to one pamphlet) but it's still pretty hard on the cow.

If I recall the bit correctly, the vet decided to let his new assistant do it for the first time, then stepped outside the building... and the new assistant (not knowing better) lit up a cigarette and then went ahead with the stab procedure.

Stab. Whoosh. WHOOMPH!

The cow had a very startled look on its face as it bolted from the barn.

I belive that show is called "All creatures Great and Small"

Mark N wrote:I belive that show is called "All creatures Great and Small"

Thank you! That's the one.

The episode in question is "Fair Means or Fowl" and can be found here. Start right at the beginning... the incident is in the first couple of minutes.

Thank you folks for the info. We do have cows here just not large herds nor in confined spaces.