Wapsi Square Forum

Dave wrote:So, leave it out for the insects to find. In fact, call it to their attention: Fuel, you flies!

I'm sure that they'd be goblin it up in no time. Just don't feed them too much, or they'll grow to gigantic size and their great wings of shadow will spread from wall to wall, making people wonder whether they even have proper wings at all!

My contribution to "yuck".

Dunno how many have already seen this variation on "Turducken"...

Turkraken?

Catawampus wrote:Turkraken?

A turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken, all baked one in the other. A bit tricky, but ducks are so damn greasy that it's pretty easy to make sure it doesn't dry out.

ShneekeyTheLost wrote:

Catawampus wrote:Turkraken?

A turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken, all baked one in the other. A bit tricky, but ducks are so damn greasy that it's pretty easy to make sure it doesn't dry out.

Actually, what you describe is a turducken.

This is a turkraken - a turkey stuffed with a sea monster. At least, I assume that's an actual turkey. "Chikraken" just doesn't have quite the same panache.

I don't care what it is. Turkraken or chickraken, it needs to be unmade. Start witha mixture of ClF3, Flourine Perperoxide (yes, I mean FOOOF, with THREE oxygens), Flouroantimonic Acid, and Hydrohelium(+1) cation.

Then bring in the ring-singularity-accelerated beam of Unbihexium-310 atoms.

Then find a nice big glob of antimatter and dump it on the remaining subatomic sludge. Then funnel all the energy into a supermassive black hole and fire it into another universe with an accelerated rate of time so it decays into waste heat faster than it would here because that thing needs to be GONE.

YES I'M WILLING TO BREAK ALL OF THE LAWS OF PHYSICS TO UNCREATE THAT MONSTROSITY. YES I AM GOING TO THROW MY ENTIRE LAB AT IT.

Hades, Glytch you want it gone that bad pass the barbecue sauce (urp). I've eaten worse.

Oh hell, the thought of that being eaten... ugh... I'm physically nauseated.

GlytchMeister wrote:I don't care what it is. Turkraken or chickraken, it needs to be unmade. Start witha mixture of ClF3, Flourine Perperoxide (yes, I mean FOOOF, with THREE oxygens), Flouroantimonic Acid, and Hydrohelium(+1) cation.

Then bring in the ring-singularity-accelerated beam of Unbihexium-310 atoms.

Then find a nice big glob of antimatter and dump it on the remaining subatomic sludge. Then funnel all the energy into a supermassive black hole and fire it into another universe with an accelerated rate of time so it decays into waste heat faster than it would here because that thing needs to be GONE.

Well, now that you've warmed up with something easy, you might be ready to consider tackling the real thing: the Elder Gods' Banquet version.

• Start with a nice medium-sized Phorusrhacos (get a hen if possible; they only need to be hung for a week to tenderize them properly)
• Stuff with a squid-headed eldritch horror (Iä! Iä!) (preferably not one related to the guest-of-honor)
• Stuff with a worshiper of a squid-headed eldritch horror (Iä! Iä! IääääAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaagggggggghhhhhhhh.....)
• Stuff with a souffle of thousand-year eggs, natto, and lutefisk
• Slow-roast overnight in the guttering fires of a burned-out crematorium
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Garnish with cilantro

(No, of course you don't garnish it with lark's vomit. Lark's vomit is for deserts.)

What - no tabasco?

I'd eat that. How often does one get the opportunity to say they ate the children of Cthulu?

Alkarii wrote:I'd eat that. How often does one get the opportunity to say they ate the children of Cthulu?

Once, at most.

Challenge accepted.

I've eaten stump grubs. I've eaten roasted grasshoppers. I've even eaten AND ENJOYED instant easy mac.

And if you are looking at the above pic and thinking "yeah alright I'll eat that" I sincerely believe something went horribly wrong in your formative years. Maybe you didn't eat enough paint chips and didn't get it outta your system.

Atomic wrote:What - no tabasco?

Tabasco would only dull the piquant and inherently-spicy flavor of the squid-headed eldrich horror.

GlytchMeister wrote:I've eaten stump grubs. I've eaten roasted grasshoppers. I've even eaten AND ENJOYED instant easy mac.

Haven't ever tried stump grubs myself. Toasted grasshoppers and crickets are just fine... I think the Laotian version with a bit of soy sauce is just about ideal. Quick-fried tarantula legs are like shrimp.

But instant easy mac? Guh. That was under survival conditions, and you had run out of MREs and 50-year-old K rations and leather shoes you could boil, and were really out of options, right?

And if you are looking at the above pic and thinking "yeah alright I'll eat that" I sincerely believe something went horribly wrong in your formative years. Maybe you didn't eat enough paint chips and didn't get it outta your system.

There are certainly much better ways to prepare octopus. The above-mentioned photo doesn't show even a trace of tomato sauce.

Well, out of curiosity, I once bought a cheap can of octopus meat, and an equally cheap can of squid in ink sauce from Walmart.

They weren't the best I'd ever had, but they weren't bad, either. Can't remember the squid, but the octopus tasted kind of like tuna. Problem was, I got a tiny piece (like, not much larger than the size of a flea) of what may have been part of the beak (dunno why, though, as they only really used the tentacles), which I promptly discarded. That doesn't mean all octopus tastes like tuna, and it's possible good octopus tastes better.

And damn near everyone knows what chicken tastes like.

Reminds me of an old Simpsons episode. Marge is distracted in a restaurant because Homer's up to something, and she tells Bart he can order whatever he wants.

He orders the squid special, with extra tentacles. Then dumps it in a plant or something after he sees it.

But my favorite is Alton Brown's classic Good Eats episode, Squid Pro Quo.

You say you'd never touch calamari on a bet? Neither would I. Doesn't matter.

GlytchMeister wrote:And if you are looking at the above pic and thinking "yeah alright I'll eat that" I sincerely believe something went horribly wrong in your formative years. Maybe you didn't eat enough paint chips and didn't get it outta your system.

Speak for yourself -I got PLENTY of lead paint chips. And as far as that thing above, cook it better and hit it with some decent spices and I'm in.

Calamari is actually quite tasty if prepared properly, lightly fried and battered. I like to use a Tempura batter personally, and you have to be careful because over-cooking makes them go rubbery.

But properly prepared? Quite tasty.