Captain Queeg commits genocide ...

[AnotherFairportfan]

I used to avidly read the (French) comic books this movie is based on. I do hope to watch the movie. My recollection of the comic books is rather vague, though... Although I did find a channel on YouTube that had (French) episodes of a series based on the books, which jogged my memory a bit.

I have watched the trailers, and I'm pretty sure that whenever I see it (whether in theaters, or on Netflix), I will most likely enjoy it.

The artist on the original comics was art director o Besson's earlier film, "The Fifth Element", and he kept asking Besson why he didn't just admit his inspiration and make a film of "Valerian"

The basic reason, i'd say is that there are like three hundred effects shots in "Fifth Element" ... and it was - at that time the most expensive French film ever made.

There are like three THOUSAND in "Valerian".

[Catawampus]

You're going to likely find one or two things to like about it, to be sure, but for the most part you are going to rely heavily on your powers of Disbelief Suspension...

The visuals were interesting in a sort of psychedelic Rococo way, but the story was a total mess and too self-conflicting. It was as though they'd written a script, then changed their minds drastically and decided to do a re-write, but were reluctant to get rid of some of their favourite bits from the original version and so left them stuck all orphan-like in the midst of all the new script.

[Atomic]

You're going to likely find one or two things to like about it, to be sure, but for the most part you are going to rely heavily on your powers of Disbelief Suspension...

The visuals were interesting in a sort of psychedelic Rococo way, but the story was a total mess and too self-conflicting. It was as though they'd written a script, then changed their minds drastically and decided to do a re-write, but were reluctant to get rid of some of their favorite bits from the original version and so left them stuck all orphan-like in the midst of all the new script.

Agree with both of you. Superb eye candy, but 7th Fleet sized plot holes and mechanisms.

The most interesting character was a Ex Deus Machina and promptly a throw away. Bubble could have been her own movie.

The best joke was the hat at dinner. I won't explain the rest.

The most ridiculous plot mechanism was the cave setup leading to the hat scene. I mean really -- who sits in a cave all day fishing for, ah, what exactly? And how fortunate our two heroes just happen to blunder along into a restricted area avoided by everybody, except the fishermen, you see.

Most sad, the "two assholes in love (but not yet)" plot line. Pick anything else -- ANYTHING -- from TV Tropes and it would have been better.

And dear Lord, if I ever see another movie about people Living In Harmony With Nature who rise from bed each day in full makeup and regalia while they swan and swoon about the joys of simply being alive -- I'll do my best to think of Ripley saying "Take this, you bitch!" and firing her flame thrower.

[scantrontb]

The most ridiculous plot mechanism was the cave setup leading to the hat scene. I mean really -- who sits in a cave all day fishing for, ah, what exactly? And how fortunate our two heroes just happen to blunder along into a restricted area avoided by everybody, except the fishermen, you see.

What threw my S.o.D., was the fact that there was a cave to begin with!!... on a frickin' SPACE STATION!!!... a CAVE!!!, now, as for sitting around all day and "fishing", nah, THAT is totally believable, you just have to look at the stereotype of the males from most American southern states, as that seems to be the only thing they do other than attend NASCAR races... as for them fishing in a restricted zone, meh, THEY weren't in the zone, they were above it and it just happened to be in range of their fishing reels, kinda like if people were out in the ocean fishing and were above a top-secret transit path for submarines... up top we don't know about it, but it's still there none the less... though we aren't expecting to catch a sub, but still, you get my drift...

unless i heard it incorrectly, but another point that threw me off was the distance they said that Alpha had traveled since it broke orbit around Earth... a few MILLION MILES...?! hell that's still practically interPLANETARY rather than in interSTELLAR space...

[Atomic]

unless i heard it incorrectly, but another point that threw me off was the distance they said that Alpha had traveled since it broke orbit around Earth... a few MILLION MILES...?! hell that's still practically interPLANETARY rather than in interSTELLAR space...

Yep - something like that. After all, anything with "million" is a totally humongous and big! (movie) distance. Shades of Space 1999, when Moonbase Alpha suddenly found itself (and the Moon) wandering space due to (insert complicated nonsensical explanation here that doesn't involve destroying everything in sight) which let it travel among the stars from week to week.

Of course, you may think it's a long way to the Chemists, but that's just peanuts to Space! It's really, really big, you know.

[AnotherFairportfan]

unless i heard it incorrectly, but another point that threw me off was the distance they said that Alpha had traveled since it broke orbit around Earth... a few MILLION MILES...?! hell that's still practically interPLANETARY rather than in interSTELLAR space...

Yep - something like that. After all, anything with "million" is a totally humongous and big! (movie) distance. Shades of Space 1999, when Moonbase Alpha suddenly found itself (and the Moon) wandering space due to (insert complicated nonsensical explanation here that doesn't involve destroying everything in sight) which let it travel among the stars from week to week.

Of course, you may think it's a long way to the Chemists, but that's just peanuts to Space! It's really, really big, you know.

"This is the Universe. Big, isn't it?"

[Dave]

Shades of Space 1999, when Moonbase Alpha suddenly found itself (and the Moon) wandering space due to (insert complicated nonsensical explanation here that doesn't involve destroying everything in sight) which let it travel among the stars from week to week.

"I canna do it, Captain! The bafflegab generators are overloading and we're falling directly into the gravity field of an enormous plot hole! Even if we put every single one of the female crew members into stretch spandex, there's no way to generate enough distraction to get the series back on course!"

[Atomic]

Spandex, AND a purple wig! You missed that part.

[shadowinthelight]

I haven't seen Battlefield Earth, just a YouTube video talking about the Psychlos being too stupid to actually exist (not to mention the fact that their atmosphere reacts EXPLOSIVELY to even the tiniest amount of radioactive matter... How did solar wind not solve the problem before it started?), and I also haven't seen most of the movies mentioned in this thread.

Bad movie based on the first half of a bad book. Had the planned sequel been made the Scientology connection would have been evident.

After Hubbard's book Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health was published in 1950, the American Psychological Association passed a resolution stating that the book's claims were not supported by empirical evidence. Subsequently, Hubbard maintained an opposition to psychiatry, a viewpoint the novel reflects by portraying the Psychlos as being ruled by the Catrists (a word similar to psychiatrist), described as a group of evil charlatans. Those Psychlos who disagree with or oppose the Catrists are subjected to various forms of persecution; particularly, the Catrists use surgical mind control or electroshock in order to maintain their power base. Hubbard frequently claimed in Scientology that psychiatrists used such tactics to maintain their influence and funding. Early in its history, the Psychlo species had no fixed name, instead being named after the Emperor of the day. The word "Psychlo" is revealed to have originally meant "brain" in its language, signifying that the Catrists feel (or in any case claim) that the entire population requires treatment as mental patients.

[Dave]

Spandex, AND a purple wig! You missed that part.

I was trying very hard indeed to not remember that part. Thank you ever so much for reminding us with that image. My monthly budget of exposure-to-sartorial-inelegance has just been overdrawn, and I will have to skip those green-and-silver bellbottom slacks the prop crew was saving for my Halloween costume.

[AnotherFairportfan]

A

Spandex, AND a purple wig! You missed that part.

That's "UFO", right?

[Atomic]

Yep! Set in the far distant future of 1980, no less!

And let's not say anything about the fishnet suits. Not a damn thing. Please.

[Typeminer]

Yep! Set in the far distant future of 1980, no less!

And let's not say anything about the fishnet suits. Not a damn thing. Please.

Wow. I don't know how, but I missed that show as a teenager.

Um, we did have Selectric printballs and weird boxy cars in 1980. They got those parts right.

[DinkyInky]

Dare I even ask what this movie is actually called?

[lake_wrangler]

After following the link to the opening credits, I followed a link to the first episode (full).

I have to admit, that it's rather unsettling to hear Commander Straker talk about "youfoes"... (all the others do say U-F-O)

[lake_wrangler]

After following the link to the opening credits, I followed a link to the first episode (full).

I have to admit, that it's rather unsettling to hear Commander Straker talk about "youfoes"... (all the others do say U-F-O)

Gaaah! I'm watching a second episode (don't know if it's THE second or not... don't care...) and Lt. Ellis also says "youfoe/youfoes"...

Also, I've seen the Interceptors shoot their missiles at the UFOs, and they missed, both times. Not only that, but this time around, the UFO kept going towards the Interceptors, and the pilots actually needed to be told of a new trajectory to take, in order to avoid collision... and the one pilot who didn't get a course change on time ended up colliding with the UFO!

I simply don't know whether to laugh or cry...

The wiki page on the show is quite informative.

[AnotherFairportfan]

Dare I even ask what this movie is actually called?

"Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets"

Destined to be this decade's "Fifth Element".

[Hansontoons]

Dare I even ask what this movie is actually called?

"Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets"

Destined to be this decade's "Fifth Element".

I supposed I'll need to go see it before it quits playing the big screen. My daughter saw it and proclaimed it a bigger, better, longer Fifth Element. There were points where she told me she called the next scene or dialogue. Not that I am complaining, FE is a hoot of a show. So if V&CTP is good eye candy/FE for 2017, sit back and enjoy!

[Atomic]

Just keep in mind it was based on a French graphic novel series. French. Very French. That alone may excuse some of the director's, ah... sins<h<h<h<h approaches to story telling.

Bruce Willis made the 5th element much better, as did the rest of the cast. I'll let you decide if the people in Valarian clicked for you.

[DinkyInky]

Dare I even ask what this movie is actually called?

"Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets"

Destined to be this decade's "Fifth Element".

Hard Pass then, as I disliked Fifth Element.