Wapsi Square Forum

Glad you're both back safe and sound! I'm glad she got to see the places she wanted. And that dinner description is making me hungry.

You know, when Sarge says 'a quart of Corn' I think he's referring to the liquid kind. For medicinal purposes only of course...

Shellyvision ON:

TazManiac wrote:You know, when Sarge says 'a quart of Corn' I think he's referring to the liquid kind. For medicinal purposes only of course...

Shellyvision ON:

Yup... Tennesseans don't EAT corn, they DRINK it... and ain't NOBODY with COMMON SENSE gonna be smoking THAT CLOSE to an OPERATING 'STILL...

Sarge speaks the truth - them bastards are just begging for a reason to engulf you in flames.

He's probably vaping.

Still pretty scary here, for both of us.

It looks now as if Gwen will be going back into surgery on Monday. Her wound has not closed and healed on its own, and it now seems unlikely that it will do so. The skin and surface tissues in the area where she received radiation therapy are just too badly "burned", the blood circulation isn't adequate, and the scarring too extensive. She started to develop signs of a second infection of the site last week, so her doctor put her back on antibiotics. They can't just stitch up the opening again... it would just fall apart again.

What the plastic surgeons are recommending is a "latissimus dorsi flap reconstruction" procedure. They'll cut away the failing area (a disc 3-4" in diameter), cut loose the whole latissimus muscle on her upper back and the attached skin, bring it around under the skin of her armpit, and use it to fill and patch the opening.

The good news is that this is a standard surgical procedure... well understood, first done about 40 years ago. In Gwen's case it should get rid of the damaged tissue, bringing a fresh blood supply into the area through the artery in the latissimus muscle, and fix the "won't heal" problem. The odds for a "good fix" are very much in our favor.

The bad news is that there are risks of complications (not a high risk but not zero). It means hours of surgery, two incisions, one or two nights in the hospital recovering, surgical drains in place for weeks, some loss of strength in her back, and of course a lot of pain during the recovery. Gwen's been through a great deal of pain (from prior surgeries and from arthritis), and those painkillers which do work for her have a lot of unpleasant side effects. She had hoped she was done with major surgery, and then this whole thing happened during our trip and took any good choice in the matter away from her.

So, she's really scared, and feeling hopeless and unlucky about the future. She says she's "tapped out" and is at the end of her strength for fighting such painful battles, and that "her attitude sucks" about doing it. She's afraid that this won't really fix the problem and that she'll be left with yet another chronic health concern that could leave her stuck at home and dependent on others, unable to be independent and unable to travel. She'd rather not wake up from the surgery, than have that happen.

We've been talking a lot, of course, and she's been talking with her brother and her trusted friends. I think she'll go ahead with this on Monday, and give the doctors and her body one more good chance to give her a future. I hope so, and I hope it goes well... because I know I could still lose her as the result of this, if things go badly.

So, please send your thoughts and prayers in our direction. We need as much good mojo as we can get.

Damn.

Positive waves and electronic hugs.

I, I love to see how much you care
through crises where you're pulling out your hair
I feel the beat of a gentle love
on the net that lifts your worries through the air.

I'm sending out good vibrations
to help with these irritations
I'm sending out good vibrations
let the illness face termination
Good good good good vibrations
May the doctors have a revelation
Good good good good vibrations
to end all of this frustration

ok I'll stop now

I've got my arm around your shoulder so, brace up my friend.

I don't really know the right words here - I have run afoul of some serious writer's block lately. However, I can tell you what I'd do if y'all were local... Hopefully that'll get the idea across.

And right off the bat, I'd cook up nice, hearty meal of spaghetti, salad, garlic bread, and apple slices with caramel dip. Nothing quite like a good, solid meal to lift spirits, in my opinion.

Beyond that, I'd probably offer to do yard work and make trips to the library... Take the pressure of chores off of you, and fill the time gap with reading good books or watching good movies.

Unfortunately, I live nowhere near anyone who is a Wapsi forumite

Gods bless...this is not at all good.

There's going to be an offering on the altar for you both tonight - part for her to realize that pain is transient and that this too she can surmount, and one for you that you can continue to be the pillar of strength that she needs wthout too much damage to yourself.

As one who suffers heavily from depression, please, PLEASE keep reminding her that while her concerns and the feelings around the surgery are real, they're not everything and shouldn't be everything in her life. She's playing the odds here, and they are in the main IN HER FAVOUR.

Keep hammering that home.

Also keep hammering home that YOU want her there and that you're being selfish and evil and greedily demanding she gets better so you can have her by your side for a good long time from now. She can use all the affirmation she can get right about now, and she needs to get it from you and the others as well.

This too shall pass.

Pulling for you both - and you're in my thoughts day and night. Alan

I've done those- and yes, they are demanding of the crew and the patient. They do get good results. You are in my prayers.

My thoughts are with you both. Others here have wiser words than I. But I am wishing strenght and hope and healing and courage to you both.
I also suffer from anxiety and depression-and if you each can find a good therapist, it'll help. Someone to just pour it all out to, to listen without judgement, when you don't want to burden each other. That and the right medication has been such a help to me.
My husband is disabled with a myriad of health issures, and when his kidneys failed for good, he wanted to die. He refused the idea of me or our daughter giving him a kidney, thinking it would just be a waste, and that the best thing he could do for his family was die and let us have the life insurance. I scolded! I raged, I hugged, I wept. I told him how much we both needed him, just him.
He started dialysis. It's just become the new normal. He's going through the process of getting on the transplant list. He's still unsure about accepting a kidney from either of us, assuming we match, but he doesn't want to die anymore. Hell, he just joined another singing group.
This is no way meant to belittle or minimize what you two are going through, with the surgery and the recovery. But I have faith in you both. All the good thoughts are being sent to you! ((hugs))

Thanks, everybody. Your understanding and responses help me a lot.

Things have gone OK. Not "great", but not "bad". About as I'd rather expected, based on prior experience.

The surgery itself (10 days ago now) seems to have been successful. The old, bad tissue is gone, replaced by a flap of good skin and muscle from her back. She was in the hospital for only one night and has been recuperating at home since then. Two of the three surgical drains came out at the post-op on Tuesday, and it looks as if the third could be removed as soon as it's convenient for us to get back to the doctor's office. Her surgeon said that the flap and healing "look great"; he didn't see any problems with her progress.

She's hella uncomfortable, of course. As expected she's needed a lot of pain meds, had the usual nausea and constipation and dizziness, plus some itching and hives... and the meds to combat all of those symptoms make her feel bad in other ways (everything she's been prescribed, seems to act as a "downer" and make her depression worse). Beats the hell out of me why anyone ever considers opioids a recreational drug.

Just Old Al wrote:As one who suffers heavily from depression, please, PLEASE keep reminding her that while her concerns and the feelings around the surgery are real, they're not everything and shouldn't be everything in her life. She's playing the odds here, and they are in the main IN HER FAVOUR.

Keep hammering that home.

Also keep hammering home that YOU want her there and that you're being selfish and evil and greedily demanding she gets better so you can have her by your side for a good long time from now. She can use all the affirmation she can get right about now, and she needs to get it from you and the others as well.

This too shall pass.

Your analysis and your recommendations are exactly spot-on, Al. That's very much the approach I've been taking - not just recently, but ever since her original cancer diagnosis back in '04. And, fortunately, she's getting the same positive messages from friends and family as well... and her doctor also said "This too shall pass" when apologizing for the discomfort she's going through.

So, she's fighting to believe that, and soldiering on to get through the tough parts of the process. She had a better day yesterday - less pain, and was able to spend some time doing light prep-work for her arts-and-crafts-faire table next month. Worse again today (a lot of nausea)... just gotta ride out the ups and downs, I guess.

-----------------

Well, nuts. The "if you say good things about it, you'll jinx it" jinx has struck.

It looks as if her chest incision may have an infection getting started... this could account for her nausea today as well, I think. Spoke to her surgeons, one of them is calling in a prescription for stronger antibiotics, and I'll be taking her to see one of them or a colleague (depending on availability) in the morning.

They both assured me that this isn't a dangerous situation for her... it's fixable.

It still sucks. She is, naturally, rather freaked by it.

Hugs, Dave. I'll keep both of you in my thoughts. *waves pom poms* *Ow* *thows out back*
Seriously strong vibes sent!

I prescribe Kamikaze Foot-Rubs. Sneakier the better...

"What are you doing?" "Nothing..."

"Why are you doing that" "No reason..."

"Sigh, feels good." "OK..."

It sounds to me as though the main thing she's needing right now is support, and you seem to be providing her with plenty of that. It's not going to be easy, but between the two of you you ought to be able to get through this and move on to sunnier days.

It's definitely sunnier today, both figuratively and literally.

I got her up to see one of her surgeons first thing on Friday morning. He confirmed that she'd developed a small pocket of fluid inside one side of the incision, which was now a happy grazing ground for bacteria. He removed a few sutures to open the incision (which hurt a lot), drained the area, installed a Penrose drain tube, looked up some antibiotic allergy/effectiveness info and prescribed a 10-day course of clindamycin in addition to the Cipro she's already been taking.

It was a difficult (painful) office visit, but seemed to have been what was needed. She started feeling better within a few hours, and enjoyed eating for the first time in weeks. The inflammation was mostly gone by the next morning. Her pain level has dropped remarkably (compared to a few days before), she's stopped needing most of the painkillers she'd been taking, and the side effects aren't anywhere near as much of a problem. The wound has drained as expected. Her biggest complaint seems to be that the clindamycin has a terribly foul aftertaste.

We saw both of her surgeons this morning for another post-op, and they were quite pleased with the progress - they took out the Penrose drain and said that the incision should close up by itself naturally as the site heals. She'll stay on the antibiotics through this coming weekend.

On the way back to the car she commented that she doesn't want to jinx it, but that she's feeling better than she has in a long time. She wants to go out for a gentle bicycle ride around the neighborhood this afternoon.

Count me as very relieved. We aren't entirely out of the woods yet but I think I can see glimpses of the green pastures out past the tree-line.

Now, I just have to get all of the insurance paperwork sorted out. Not quite a fate worse than death... more like shoveling out a bureaucratic stable.

Yay! I'm so glad for you both. Continued good vibes going your way.

Dave wrote:Now, I just have to get all of the insurance paperwork sorted out. Not quite a fate worse than death... more like shoveling out a bureaucratic stable.

Hand it over to the bacteria to sort out. It will either hasten their demise, or else you'll be able to cultivate a new strain of bacteria that is resistant to the perils of paperwork, and then you can use that culture to complete all future paperwork with ease.