Alone At The Comic Book Shop 2016-07-28

[Alkarii]

Yeah, I first learned of it from a YouTube video that shows pictures of what it does to your skin. The "blistering" looks like severe second degree burns.

[Dave]

I saw those, decades ago, while vacationing in the Virgin Islands with my parents and brothers. All sorts of dire warnings posted nearby... don't even think of taking shelter under these trees during a rainstorm, as water dripping off of them is toxic enough to blister the skin.

Hmmm. I wonder how a honeylocust, with a genesplice to add manchineel toxins to the thorns, would work out? Would make for one hell of a defensive hedgerow!

[FreeFlier]

And you thought bramble and japanese knotweed were bad . . .

--FreeFlier

[GlytchMeister]

I saw those, decades ago, while vacationing in the Virgin Islands with my parents and brothers. All sorts of dire warnings posted nearby... don't even think of taking shelter under these trees during a rainstorm, as water dripping off of them is toxic enough to blister the skin.

Hmmm. I wonder how a honeylocust, with a genesplice to add manchineel toxins to the thorns, would work out? Would make for one hell of a defensive hedgerow!

NO. JUST NO. THAT IS THE LINE WHERE SCIENCE GOES TOO FAR. AAAAGH. NO.

[Catawampus]

Hmmm. I wonder how a honeylocust, with a genesplice to add manchineel toxins to the thorns, would work out? Would make for one hell of a defensive hedgerow!

Throw in a bit of kudzu and a little Venus flytrap and you could even have an offensive one.

[AnotherFairportfan]

Hmmm. I wonder how a honeylocust, with a genesplice to add manchineel toxins to the thorns, would work out? Would make for one hell of a defensive hedgerow!

Throw in a bit of kudzu and a little Venus flytrap and you could even have an offensive one.

I'd certainly find it offensive...

[Dave]

Hmmm. I wonder how a honeylocust, with a genesplice to add manchineel toxins to the thorns, would work out? Would make for one hell of a defensive hedgerow!

NO. JUST NO. THAT IS THE LINE WHERE SCIENCE GOES TOO FAR. AAAAGH. NO.

Oh, you're no fun. I was thinking of adding some motility genes as well (triffid of course).

One could even use a sap-tap to power a small fuel cell, providing enough electricity to run a pretty decent control microprocessor... a Cortex M5 doesn't take all that much power. Add in some off the shelf wireless networking capability, a distributed operating system kernel, and some machine-learning code libraries, and I'll bet we could develop a really capable hive-mind artificial intelligence in a decent-sized thicket of these.

Hey, GlytchMeister... want to go in on a Kickstarter to fund the project?

[Alkarii]

Science went too far when someone invented crocs. The shoes, I mean, not the reptile.

[TazManiac]

I keep trying to get you guys to Read This...

http://www.eldritchdark.com/writings/sh ... -sepulchre

[GlytchMeister]

Hmmm. I wonder how a honeylocust, with a genesplice to add manchineel toxins to the thorns, would work out? Would make for one hell of a defensive hedgerow!

NO. JUST NO. THAT IS THE LINE WHERE SCIENCE GOES TOO FAR. AAAAGH. NO.

Oh, you're no fun. I was thinking of adding some motility genes as well (triffid of course).

One could even use a sap-tap to power a small fuel cell, providing enough electricity to run a pretty decent control microprocessor... a Cortex M5 doesn't take all that much power. Add in some off the shelf wireless networking capability, a distributed operating system kernel, and some machine-learning code libraries, and I'll bet we could develop a really capable hive-mind artificial intelligence in a decent-sized thicket of these.

Hey, GlytchMeister... want to go in on a Kickstarter to fund the project?

"Ahem."
Dave turned around and found himself face-to-chest with a seven-foot-tall man with flaming eyes, wearing a linen suit and a hooded black overcloak. A bulge at his side indicated the presence of a truly enormous handgun.
"Look, if you make something that nasty, I'll be the one called to kill it. AI's can develop the ability to hack Golemware, I am nothin but wild magic, thus I get to clean up this mess. And don't you dare add kudzu to the mix, I'll have to glass the whole damn continent, and I'd rather not. So howsabout you just forget this ever happened and we all go off on our merry ways without thoughts of Borg Plant Eldritch Abominations, aye?" The towering salamander loomed over Dave, radiating an intense heat.
Glytch sidled up beside Dave. "And if it kills him, then you'll have to deal with Prroul. That's... Not optimal."

[TazManiac]

Over their shoulder appeared a semi-see-through, half-off-the-floor-floating, apparition...

"I'd like you Gentlemen to Relax; I've got a Herbivore, with enhancements, but also restraints, on stand-by..."

And with that, the slight breeze took his presence away, like smoke on the wind...

[Dave]

Over their shoulder appeared a semi-see-through, half-off-the-floor-floating, apparition...

"I'd like you Gentlemen to Relax; I've got a Herbivore, with enhancements, but also restraints, on stand-by..."

And with that, the slight breeze took his presence away, like smoke on the wind...

You've bred something that eats sentient Volkswagen Beetles?!? And you enhanced it?

By Babbage and von Neumann, you guys really do take this "no machine intelligences allowed" principle seriously!

[Typeminer]

Been too long a day to deal with that one.

[Sgt. Howard]

Speaking of which, has anyone seen a VW Beetle on eight legs (each about 20" and hydraulic) wandering around? Silly thing slipped it's leash...

[FreeFlier]

Been too long a day to deal with that one.

Oh-cho, you get less punny when tired?

I'm the opposite.

Though they may not be good puns . . .

--FreeFlier

[lake_wrangler]

Oh-cho,

Why do you keep calling it "ocho?" It clearly says "53" on it...

you get less punny when tired?

I'm the opposite.

Though they may not be good puns . . .

--FreeFlier

As far as I'm concerned, any pun worth thinking is a pun worth saying...

[Typeminer]

Oh-cho,

Why do you keep calling it "ocho?" It clearly says "53" on it...

Yeah, I was struggling for a "53" joke, too. Gene sequencing, mebbe.

As far as I'm concerned, any pun worth thinking is a pun worth saying...

Of course. That's just good hygiene. The pressure builds to evermore dangerous levels if you restrict the flow.

[lake_wrangler]

Oh-cho,

Why do you keep calling it "ocho?" It clearly says "53" on it...

Yeah, I was struggling for a "53" joke, too. Gene sequencing, mebbe.

That was actually a scene in one of the Herbie movies. It was a Latino kid that kept calling Herbie "Ocho", throughout the whole movie... and the driver (Fred McMurray? Dean Jones? I forget) who asked that very question at the end of the movie...

[Dave]

"Ahem."
Dave turned around and found himself face-to-chest with a seven-foot-tall man with flaming eyes, wearing a linen suit and a hooded black overcloak. A bulge at his side indicated the presence of a truly enormous handgun.
"Look, if you make something that nasty, I'll be the one called to kill it. AI's can develop the ability to hack Golemware, I am nothin but wild magic, thus I get to clean up this mess. And don't you dare add kudzu to the mix, I'll have to glass the whole damn continent, and I'd rather not. So howsabout you just forget this ever happened and we all go off on our merry ways without thoughts of Borg Plant Eldritch Abominations, aye?" The towering salamander loomed over Dave, radiating an intense heat.
Glytch sidled up beside Dave. "And if it kills him, then you'll have to deal with Prroul. That's... Not optimal."

"You're probably right, I guess," sighed Dave. "I should remember that the big problem with creating Eldritch Abomination isn't creating them... it's dealing with them afterwards. They do tend to have this annoying characteristic of jumping off of the rails, doing the unexpected, and going entirely out of control.

"I suppose if I made that honey-locust/manchineel hybrid, it would get away from me at some point. Rather than sitting in a nice defensive hedge-row, it would start traveling across the countryside, broadcasting its pollen, cross-breeding into all of our domesticated crop-plants, and turning them hostile. It'd stir up the kudzu, awaken the Giant Hogweed, and loose strife all across the land.They'd all set out in a bunch, like the Ents moving in on Orthanc, like Great Birnam wood marching towards high Dunsinane hill, and try to kill us all.

"The first we'd know if it would be when we heard the poison-locusts whispering to one another about their plans for our crops. Feralize... feralize... feralize. It would be Bad."

Dave sits down, looking rather disappointed. He perks up, though, pulls out a small notebook, and begins to jot down some new ideas.

[Typeminer]

That was actually a scene in one of the Herbie movies. It was a Latino kid that kept calling Herbie "Ocho", throughout the whole movie... and the driver (Fred McMurray? Dean Jones? I forget) who asked that very question at the end of the movie...

Dean Jones, for sure. Buddy Hackett as the mechanic.

I saw that movie twice, I think. We were well into the reamed-out VWs as advanced go-karts phase, and it was funny as hell at the time.

I don't remember that line, though.