Wapsi Square Forum

After Jon gets his coffee (wincing at the charred smell) and Chuck introduces himself, there's a prolonged and somewhat awkward silence. After a minute or so, there's a deep sigh from one side of the room, coming from a balding, gray-haired man in his late 50s, dressed in jeans and a T-shirt extolling the virtues of coffee and wearing a Leatherman on his belt. He slowly rises to his feet, and looks around the group, as if trying to guess a name to go along with each face he sees. Although his expression attempts to appear serious, there's a twinkle in his eye and a bit of a quirk at each corner of his mouth.

He takes a breath and opens his mouth, but just as he starts to speak, there's a quiet phut from the far side of the room near the door. The man twitches, looks down and back, rolls his eyes, slowly sags to his knees, and then collapses to the floor unconscious. A small dot of color dead-centered on his left buttock cheek marks the tuft of the tranquilizer dart which has just immobilized him.

"Sorry about that, everybody," says a voice from the door. Into the room strides a blond-haired woman dressed in walking clothes, a floppy sun hat, and bright pink Saucony Statos 4 running shoes. She tucks a small air pistol back in her handbag. "He wanted to come over here to the meeting, but I could tell from the smirk on his face that he was planning something awful. He wasn't going to be honest with you about being a Wapsiholic. Instead, he was going to tell you a long, convoluted story that would end up in some sort of dreadful new shaggy-dog pun he'd thought up and been saving. I thought it would be disrespectful, and I really didn't want to have to scrape off the tar and feathers and hose him down with Goo Gone... again.

"Could you give me a hand, here?"

Dan and Glitch each take an arm, and drag the sleeping jokester over to a couch in the back (above which someone has pinned a hand-written sign "Confusion Corner"). He snores, loudly, through the remainder of the meeting, occasionally mumbling things like "Hawley-Smoot" and "Rosebud".

There is another uneasy pause as the undeclared Wapsiholics glance furtively from side to side and try to screw their courage to the sticking place. Who’s next? Please, someone... I won’t be last, but I’m not ready yet. Just one more... then... then I’ll do it. Yes I will (Oh why did I come here, I could have been clicking refresh; Pablo might have changed his mind... Yes, he might, I’ll make an excuse and—)

With a click and a scrape one slightly sagging side of the hall’s double door is forced open. Daylight streams in from the street, silhouetting a figure poised, perhaps posed, on the threshold. Behind in the street a plastic bag skips by in a small swirl of dust, closely pursued by a tumbleweed. The flies at the strip light whirl giddily. Some make a break for freedom and stream towards the bright outdoors.
    “Oh, I am most terribly sorry to burst in on you like this. I had expected a vestibule. That wonderfully chunky man next door polishing his engine told me this was the place where some, well I think the word he used means people, though I’m not quite sure of the vernacular here. This is the WWW meeting? WWW, the Waiting Wapsiholics Wellbeing meeting? Yes?”
    The man in the farm-style overalls stirs, speaking in his slow drawl. “Well, son, if’n you know this is the WWW you’re welcome to grab yerself a mug of joe,” He gestures toward the tar refinery, “and join us. We just bin gettin’ started gettin’ acquainted.”
    The figure at the door bows slightly, steps inside and closes it, cutting off the escape of a last, indecisive, fly, and from outside, the faint soft crunches of the tumbleweed ingesting its prey.

The fluorescent light’s flickers make the gliding progress of the newcomer towards the coffee seem to stutter and jerk, out of time with the accompanying tapping of a walking stick.
    Those not engaged in the close study of the grain of the floorboards see an upright figure. The unnaturally black, unnaturally glossy tightly braided queue of hair emerging from beneath a pale Panama hat is waist long, stark against a coat of many colours, as black as the form-fitting leggings and soft pumps below. The face is bone white, bright spots of carmine on the cheekbones, and on lips which make a moue of distaste at the close sight and smell of the coffee.
    “Perhaps, my dears, I shall forgo this sweet refined essence of caffeine in penance for my late arrival and join you directly. Indeed, as I am the only one on my feet may I take it the floor is presently free?”
    A chorus of grunts and relieved shiftings of tense bodies fills the room while he — for a full frontal view of the torso in clinging black lycra leaves no doubt of the male body form, at least amongst those glancing down from the mask of a face — walks to the foot of the table, soft footfalls and tapping cane. The Panama is doffed in a flamboyant sweep that ends in a deep bow, leg extended, balanced by the stick.
    “Gentles all, your humble servant!”
He rises, tucking the stick under one arm, and looks around the tables.
    “Please allow me to introduce myself, I am…” He pauses, a hint of a smile on his face as he taps his breast with the hat. “Louis, a Wapsiholic of wealth and taste.”

Glytch narrowed his eyes at the newcomer as the others greeted Louis. He waited until silence had fallen before he spoke. "Pleased to meet you. Glad I don't have to guess your name." He held his deadpan expression for a moment before allowing a small smirk to twist his mouth.
The woman in the sun hat rolled her eyes, sighing. Glytch supposed she had realized she was outnumbered.

Glytch edited this because Glytch didn't use as many pronouns as Glytch thought Glytch ought to use.

I have been giggling like a mad thing and asking myself- OMG!!! What have I done?!?

Sgt. Howard wrote:I have been giggling like a mad thing and asking myself- OMG!!! What have I done?!?

Is it weird whenever I read "what have I done" I read it in Sir Ian Mckellen's voice?

Sgt. Howard wrote:I have been giggling like a mad thing and asking myself- OMG!!! What have I done?!?

Well sweetheart, just to spell it out, you’ve summoned Us, now you get to keep Us until the stars are right for Our departure to Our proper realm… Now how shall we pass the time, eh?

GlytchMeister wrote:Glytch narrowed his eyes at the newcomer as the others greeted Louis. He waited until silence had fallen before he spoke. "Pleased to meet you. Glad I don't have to guess your name." He held his deadpan expression for a moment before allowing a small smirk to twist his mouth.

[Bows]
“You are a wag, young Master Glytch, and thank you for the courtesy.”

Lou looks round the room and catches sight of the twitching, mumbling heap in the corner. Mmm. Yes. Looks like it is turning into my sort of party already, he thinks, moistening his lips with a small, pointed tongue-tip, ’til they glisten evenly.

It a pity, though, the brew is not as treacly thick as it used to be... and I guess moving twice in around a year together with the strain of growing kids tells on you...

I have to just give a hint of other sites, to avoid unprincipled people shocking their boss by accident!

RavensDojo is a good one, and some good links at the bottom of the 'grrlpower' page...

'Toons shifted in his chair. "This could get interesting", he thought to himself.

Then one leg of the well-experienced chair gave way causing him to momentarily lose balance and slosh some coffee on the tabletop. The puddle of "coffee" began to sizzle and lift the paint from the table.

"Hmm, haven't seen that since I put the batteries in backwards in the..." he mutterd as he rose to find a differed chair and refill his cup. "Woo hooooo" he sang out softly as he walked across the room.

Glytch eyed the puddle of... Well, he didn't think it qualified as coffee... And decided against volunteering to clean it up. He figured he'd need at least a pair of thick rubber gloves and some safety goggles to even try. Warily, he scooted to the left to avoid a small stream of the acrid fluid before it dripped onto his leg. Looking around, Glytch tried to make eye contact with some of the others, hoping the gesture of openness would provide enough encouragement for one of the yet-to-be-introduced participants to stand and speak. Whenever he succeeded, Glytch would add a small smile to his expression. Unfortunately, everyone seemed to look away suddenly upon meeting his gaze.
This may take a while... Glytch gave a small sigh and leaned back in his chair, pausing when the decrepit seat uttered a shriek of protest.
Then, he made eye contact with someone, and they held his gaze before looking pointedly at their watch. Glytch nodded and cleared his throat. "I guess a lot of us just want to observe today. No harm in that at all. It's like lurking online, I suppose. One could say taking some time to observe is a wise choice. Still, we can't keep waiting for everyone to introduce themselves. I get the feeling we'll be here all week. And, if nothing else, I doubt that dart will keep us safe from atomic puns for that long." Glytch looked to Greg, sensing he seemed to be the one in charge. "If nobody objects, maybe we ought to get started on the discussion? Anyone can join in if they wish." With this last statement, Glytch beckoned to the others at the table with an open hand.

Hansontoons wrote:'Toons shifted in his chair. "This could get interesting", he thought to himself.

Then one leg of the well-experienced chair gave way causing him to momentarily lose balance and slosh some coffee on the tabletop. The puddle of "coffee" began to sizzle and lift the paint from the table.

"Hmm, haven't seen that since I put the batteries in backwards in the..." he mutterd as he rose to find a differed chair and refill his cup. "Woo hooooo" he sang out softly as he walked across the room.

The Toon rolled backwards off its chair, neatly avoiding the sizzling glob eating its way towards China, then morphed into an electric guitar that bounced off the walls screaming "WOO HOOOOOO!" on its way round to room to the tar pit of a coffee pot. Lou Xiv put a black-gloved finger to his red rosebud lips while he contemplated the scene. Reaching into the coat of many colours he pulled out a bundle of large cards, fanning them out. After a few moments he picked picked one and held it up for the room to see: a 9.
   It could have been a perfect 10, thought Lou, here in the beautiful south, had the Toon’s audio not sounded a bit of a blur…

GlytchMeister wrote:Glytch narrowed his eyes at the newcomer as the others greeted Louis. He waited until silence had fallen before he spoke. "Pleased to meet you. Glad I don't have to guess your name." He held his deadpan expression for a moment before allowing a small smirk to twist his mouth.
The woman in the sun hat rolled her eyes, sighing. Glytch supposed she had realized she was outnumbered.

The sleeper in the back of the room stirs briefly, and mumbles "Louis? Louis A. Ferr? mmmph", then rolls onto his side and sinks back into slumber.

Atomic wrote:A balding man with graying beard, jeans, and a tropical themed shirt joins the circle and introduces himself as "Chuck".

"Yeah, I'm a Waspiholic, too."

What brought me here. What kept me here (Arc start).

What brought me here was a friend who posted an image to me of Monica, kinda bending over at the waist... the text said: ERMAHGERD!!! BERBS!!!

That got me into Wapsi and I spent the next few days binge reading the whole shebang.

Dave wrote:

GlytchMeister wrote:Glytch narrowed his eyes at the newcomer as the others greeted Louis. He waited until silence had fallen before he spoke. "Pleased to meet you. Glad I don't have to guess your name." He held his deadpan expression for a moment before allowing a small smirk to twist his mouth.
The woman in the sun hat rolled her eyes, sighing. Glytch supposed she had realized she was outnumbered.

The sleeper in the back of the room stirs briefly, and mumbles "Louis? Louis A. Ferr? mmmph", then rolls onto his side and sinks back into slumber.

Indeed:

Lou Xiv, A … man of etc, etc :twisted:

(Taz, shifting in his seat, leans back into his accustomed slouch with ankles crossed and hat brim riding low over his eyebrows, not yet ready to stand up and announce his 'coming to realization in front of others' quite yet...)

Atomic wrote:What[/url] brought me here. What kept me here (Arc start).

My Whoa! WTF is this? moment was a link to the girls, and the subsequent page, posted on Usenet’s rec.arts.sf something, probably around ’06, I’d guess.

Greg put the cup of vile concoction up to his face, bit off a chunk and chewed it thoughtfully before expounding,
"There was a strip that caught my attention- I believe it was the first time we ever saw 'Tina'... heh... she even had human eyes, I'm pretty sure that was the ONLY time we saw that- and Monica walks in looking like a corpse... Tina pulls a mike and announces,"Code Red, Code Red!!!" and next we see Monica with an IV hooked into her arm with coffee goiing in... I can relate to that," - then he grimaced as he swallowed the sludge.
"But what REALLY got me hooked was the commentaries- I noticed some horrible puns, one right after another, as in competition. I never cared for puns- my thing is limericks- but there were a few instances where I could not leave it alone (variouse heads start nodding) and HAD to read the comic SEVERAL TIMES A DAY- not for the cartoon, but for the commentary... ESPECIALLY the COMMENTARY to MY COMENTARY! I knew it was out of control, but I couldn't stop myself anymore,"

Sgt. Howard wrote:Tina pulls a mike and announces,"Code Red, Code Red!!!" and next we see Monica with an IV hooked into her arm with coffee goiing in... I can relate to that," - then he grimaced as he swallowed the sludge.

yep... that was a good one that drew me in... and then the 'mythology' kept me coming back... BUT.. see my last comment... people are getting bored, and drifting away into other subjects...

kingklash wrote:*proceeds to run around in circles*
WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow, WhatdoIdonow?

Other paranormal/magic webcomics worth looking into during the hiatus:
Namesake www.namesakecomic.com
Paranatural www.paranatural.net
Skin Horse (WARNING! Massive backlog)
Miamaska
Black Brick Road of Oz

Other recommended webcomics:
Kiwi Blitz
Let's Speak English (it's about an English teacher in Japan)
Dresden Codak www.dresdencodak.com

Also, http://www.grrlpowercomic.com