Wapsi Square Forum

"Cooking can be Love,
But Baking is Chemistry..."

Typeminer wrote:A lot of people must like the squooshy wonderbreadstuffs, because a metric buttload of them is sold every day, but they are pretty terrible.

A friend of mine used to refer to this stuff as "white wheat foam". I agree, it's generally loathsome stuff.

Back in the early 1970s, during the first round of "food fiber" craze, a bread called "New Horizons" was marketed. It looked and behaved practically indistinguishable from Wonder Bread, but claimed to have lots and lots of fiber. It did... the label listed "lignin" as a significant ingredient. They were putting wood pulp in the bread. Insoluble, no nutritional value to humans at all.

It didn't sell, and soon disappeared from the shelves.

I wonder whether custom "buns" baked out of a part-whole-wheat sourdough might not be a good solution. Might be able to get just enough crust on it to enable it to stand up to the weight and moisture of a good dog or brat, without being too crunchy.

Brownberry Stadium style Crustini buns. I get the Angus beef preservative free "hotdogs"(my family is split on the issue of whether or not it is a hotdog).

I find they are a bit greasier than regular ones, but without all the crap that triggers my migraines. The crustini buns hold their shape like ballpark ones do. I've even tried making a Chicago style loaded chili dog minus the raw onions using these(living so close to Chicago so long you get used to the staples...stadium chili dog carts in the summer, Giordano's and Uno's, the oriental market on Kimball, Fieda's and Three Happiness in Chinatown...anyway, I got used to Chicago dogs, and finally found one that doesn't make me wanna tear my brain out after eating them), and they hold pretty well...so a standard dog should be perfect.

I toast them closed in my grill for a bit if I'm really going to load them up, then gently pry it open with a fork.

They sell them bulk sized at Sam's Club, or at most grocers near you...try Strack and Van Til's on N. Elston...

shadowinthelight wrote:

Catawampus wrote:Rather than making one cut and then folding open the bun, instead carve out a notch and remove a little of the bread (you could use that as breadcrumbs when you cook something else) and put the sausage in its place. That way you're not straining the "spine" of the bun as much. You'd have less bun overall, but perhaps then you could use the larger hoagie rolls to compensate.

The old Subway sandwich V cut. It held the meatballs so much better than the regular sandwich cut they use now.

Ask for classic cut. They almost always know, or will ask you how to make the classic cut. That's what I ask for for the messy subs like meatball swiss, or the chicken teriyaki.

DinkyInky wrote:

shadowinthelight wrote:

Catawampus wrote:Rather than making one cut and then folding open the bun, instead carve out a notch and remove a little of the bread (you could use that as breadcrumbs when you cook something else) and put the sausage in its place. That way you're not straining the "spine" of the bun as much. You'd have less bun overall, but perhaps then you could use the larger hoagie rolls to compensate.

The old Subway sandwich V cut. It held the meatballs so much better than the regular sandwich cut they use now.

Ask for classic cut. They almost always know, or will ask you how to make the classic cut. That's what I ask for for the messy subs like meatball swiss, or the chicken teriyaki.

I didn't know Subway used to do that. The only ones I knew of were Mr. Sub.

lake_wrangler wrote:I didn't know Subway used to do that. The only ones I knew of were Mr. Sub.

They quit about 15 years ago. If you find a neurotic control freak franchise(and I've encountered two since moving, and requested corporate to talk to them), they will refuse you, but for most, if you request it for those two subs, they usually will. Some work, and some don't. It's almost like making a bread bowl....mmm soup in a sourdough bowl...now I'm hungry.

@Cat & Shadow:
I do a variation of that where I use my fingers to squish the middle of the thicker "cover" of the bun to create a hollow for the frank.

@Typeminer:
Oh, brats are definitely bigger than franks. Greasier too. That's why hoagie rolls are perfect for brats.
...
I've just realized you and I might be running on different definitions of "hoagie rolls"... What I'm talking about are really just oversized hot dog buns.

@Dinky:
*speaking slowly while writing in hot dog laboratory notebook* Brownberry Stadium style Crustini Buns...
Excellent. I'll see if I can find them at the two Sam's Clubs near me (they both have unreliable stock... I am currently suffering from Ajinomoto Orange Chicken Withdrawal, as neither have had that for a while).

Wow, guys n' gals. I sure am glad I had the idea to ask y'all this question. This is amazing.

Alternate alternative: take a vacuum pump with a small-diameter hose and a Twinkie. Use the pump to empty the filling from the Twinkie. Mash up the hot dog, reverse the pump, and fill the Twinkie with hot dog. That way it's all fully contained!

Possibly, what you need is the sort of bread used to make a Zep ("don't call it a hoagie!").

I grew up in Germantown, not very far from either Norristown or Conshohocken. I was well into my teens before I learned the terms "sub" or "hoagie" or "grinder", because my parents and grandparents always called them zeps. The flat rolls used to make these would certainly not go gamoosh on contact with a hot dog or brat.

Catawampus wrote:Alternate alternative: take a vacuum pump with a small-diameter hose and a Twinkie. Use the pump to empty the filling from the Twinkie. Mash up the hot dog, reverse the pump, and fill the Twinkie with hot dog. That way it's all fully contained!

Things that make you go "Buhuhuh..."

Catawampus wrote:Alternate alternative: take a vacuum pump with a small-diameter hose and a Twinkie. Use the pump to empty the filling from the Twinkie. Mash up the hot dog, reverse the pump, and fill the Twinkie with hot dog. That way it's all fully contained!

"MMMM, boy!!"

Catawampus wrote:Alternate alternative: take a vacuum pump with a small-diameter hose and a Twinkie. Use the pump to empty the filling from the Twinkie. Mash up the hot dog, reverse the pump, and fill the Twinkie with hot dog. That way it's all fully contained!

That's easily on a par with Richard Nixon's favorite snack (ketchup on cottage cheese), and might even out-do Dr. IQ's Intravenous Hamburger.

What... What is happening in that other room? And how are those guys not even slightly miffed by an arm suddenly punching into the room? And...
Gahhhargh...
Error: GlytchOS has encountered a fatal error and must shut down. Press any key to continue.

Quick! Someone do a fresh install of Linux Red Hat on him!

MerchManDan wrote:

Catawampus wrote:Alternate alternative: take a vacuum pump with a small-diameter hose and a Twinkie. Use the pump to empty the filling from the Twinkie. Mash up the hot dog, reverse the pump, and fill the Twinkie with hot dog. That way it's all fully contained!

"MMMM, boy!!"

That was the second movie that I ever watched (I have no idea what the first one was called and never saw it ever again, but I seem to remember that it had a singing pink man-eating alien). In hindsight, watching a movie that heavily parodies other movies as one of my very first cinematic experiences wasn't really the best way of doing things.

Dave wrote:I grew up in Germantown, not very far from either Norristown or Conshohocken. . . . my parents and grandparents always called them zeps.

Never heard of zeps, but I do know of the great truth: The further you go from Philadelphia, the worse the sub/grinder/hoagie-type sandwiches deteriorate. It was such a shock in my youth, when I moved east and learned of glorious things unknown in the mountains. Or even in Pittsburgh.

GlytchMeister wrote:What... What is happening in that other room? And how are those guys not even slightly miffed by an arm suddenly punching into the room? And...
Gahhhargh...
Error: GlytchOS has encountered a fatal error and must shut down. Press any key to continue.

It's a dojo. The students (and the teacher) are very enthusiastic about the martial arts, and I guess that building was subdivided on the cheap; Bob & George are just used to it.

...wait a second. Am I correctly inferring that you have not yet watched the wonderful weirdness that is UHF?? Because if that's the case, it must be remedied immediately.

Catawampus wrote:That was the second movie that I ever watched (I have no idea what the first one was called and never saw it ever again, but I seem to remember that it had a singing pink man-eating alien). In hindsight, watching a movie that heavily parodies other movies as one of my very first cinematic experiences wasn't really the best way of doing things.

I dunno; UHF has been one of my favourite movies for...oh, it must be 25 years now, and it hasn't had any adverse effects on me.

Anyhow, the first movie you mention sounds like Little Shop of Horrors, except Audrey II wasn't pink (besides inside its mouth, that is).

You cannot call yourself a Weird Al fan if you have never watched UHF.

MerchManDan wrote:I dunno; UHF has been one of my favourite movies for...oh, it must be 25 years now, and it hasn't had any adverse effects on me.

My favorite movie growing up was Spaceballs if that tells you anything.

jwhouk wrote:You cannot call yourself a Weird Al fan if you have never watched UHF.

Strange to think I've probably seen plenty of clips but never the whole movie.

Catawampus wrote:

MerchManDan wrote:

Catawampus wrote:Alternate alternative: take a vacuum pump with a small-diameter hose and a Twinkie. Use the pump to empty the filling from the Twinkie. Mash up the hot dog, reverse the pump, and fill the Twinkie with hot dog. That way it's all fully contained!

"MMMM, boy!!"

That was the second movie that I ever watched (I have no idea what the first one was called and never saw it ever again, but I seem to remember that it had a singing pink man-eating alien). In hindsight, watching a movie that heavily parodies other movies as one of my very first cinematic experiences wasn't really the best way of doing things.

If that's the one I'm thinking of, it's gross, and it's called Brains!