Wapsi Square Forum

I just thought of a way to make it even worse.

I bet there's a way to hook up some bagpipes to an amp (like an electric guitar but infinitely more Scottish)... Turn that amp up to eleven, stand too close, and play the Barney theme song.

Over and over and over... As loud as you can go.

Electrically amplified bagpipes, a powerful sound system, that Feedback shriek, and Barney... If that doesn't make them want to pierce their eardrums with a rusty screwdriver, nothing will.

GlytchMeister wrote:I just thought of a way to make it even worse.

I bet there's a way to hook up some bagpipes to an amp (like an electric guitar but infinitely more Scottish)... Turn that amp up to eleven, stand too close, and play the Barney theme song.

Over and over and over... As loud as you can go.

Electrically amplified bagpipes, a powerful sound system, that Feedback shriek, and Barney... If that doesn't make them want to pierce their eardrums with a rusty screwdriver, nothing will.

It's only Barney's if you have that annoying voice singing it, otherwise it's a pleasant child's tune.

DinkyInky wrote:Bagpipes are so soothing at six am...take that, you beer soaked, porridge brained frat boys!

I once used Wellington's Victory in a stereo battle with a radioman in the next cube in the barracks at Cam Ranh Bay - everybody had Big Stereos, since you got terrific deals through Pacific Exchange - who was not the worst offender amongst his crew, but the one nearest to me, who would come off watch at midnight and put on Creedence, ignoring the fact that us day workers were trying to sleep.

He surrendered.

In his short story "Johnny Cope" (in the McAuslan books), George Macdonald Fraser told of a battle between the junior officers and the battalion pipe band, who, once a week, would assemble outside the JO quarters at six AM, and, as he puts it (more or less - been a while) "...stealthily raise their sticks with not a click, and inflate their pipes without a squeak..." and blast into "Johnny Cope", the official pipe reveille of the Scottish Regiments.

At, of course, a volume appropriate for reveille.

Eventually, Dan McNeil (Fraser's stand-in - most of the "Dand McNeil" stories are at least partially autobiographical, Fraser's recollections of his time in Egypt as a subaltern on the Gordons) get their revenge.

GlytchMeister wrote:I just thought of a way to make it even worse.

I bet there's a way to hook up some bagpipes to an amp (like an electric guitar but infinitely more Scottish)...

Wolfstone (who i saw live at Fairport's Cropredy Festival in 1992) occasionally amplified the battle pipes, at least, in those days.

Might have to add that one to my playlist.

Catawampus wrote:The Arabs and the Palestinians are crazy about bagpipes. They have them all the time at weddings and parties and whenever else. There are probably more bagpipers per square meter in Jordan than there is anywhere outside of the British Isles.

Thank you! I had never heard that, and it explains what my wife and I saw in Jerash and have wondered about ever since.

AnotherFairportfan wrote:

salted.jpg

I've see them in a mixed 12-pack, as much as I like other NB creations I just dunno about those....

AnotherFairportfan wrote:

DinkyInky wrote:Bagpipes are so soothing at six am...take that, you beer soaked, porridge brained frat boys!

I once used Wellington's Victory in a stereo battle with a radioman in the next cube in the barracks at Cam Ranh Bay - everybody had Big Stereos, since you got terrific deals through Pacific Exchange - who was not the worst offender amongst his crew, but the one nearest to me, who would come off watch at midnight and put on Creedence, ignoring the fact that us day workers were trying to sleep.

I've only ever really been in that sort of acoustic battle twice. The first time I just put a computer software CD in my stereo, turned the volume on high, then locked up the place and went off to work for most of the day. Many hours of horrendous screeches and buzzes and electronic warbling did the trick. The other time, I built a sort of giant temporary speaker up against the wall between my quarters and the offender's, then gifted him with irregular pulses of subsonics.

The one time I got involved in a battle of that sort... we played dirty.

My sophomore year in college, I was in the top floor of a high-rise dorm building with paper-thin walls. The guy in the next room fancied himself a drummer. He'd put on a record, turn it up so loud that he could feel the room shake, then put on headphones to protect his ears (!), and drum along with the song. Needless to say, it was a trifle distracting next door. Complaints to him and the RA had no effect on the problem.

The two rooms shared a separating wall, of course... and the outlets on the walls were wired up to the same branch circuit. His stereo happened to be plugged into the outlet on the shared wall.

So, one day, when he got started, my roommate and I took a two-tube fluorescent lamp (the old kind with a red "on" and black "off" button), plugged it into the wall outlet, and started pressing and releasing the red button, turning the starter circuit on and off rapidly and creating voltage spikes. The stereo next door began making the most distressing popping and snapping and roaring sounds. The drummer turn it off. A few minutes passed while he checked his stereo for a fault... music goes back up, drumming starts again, POPSNAPSIZZLE.

One more round was enough.. he shut the stereo down, thinking it was broken and about to destroy itself.

I think I heard he took it to the shop for repair and they couldn't find anything wrong with it for some reason.

I don't recall whether we ever had to repeat the curative treatment. He moved out at the end of the next quarter and we never saw or heard of/from him again.

Epic, just epic. A simple nerdy solution. Love it!

Hansontoons wrote:

AnotherFairportfan wrote:

salted.jpg

I've see them in a mixed 12-pack, as much as I like other NB creations I just dunno about those....

I know.

I know it's obviously a Creation Of The Devil.

Hansontoons wrote:

AnotherFairportfan wrote:

salted.jpg

I've see them in a mixed 12-pack, as much as I like other NB creations I just dunno about those....

You guys can keep wondering. I, on the other hand, want them in my belly

AnotherFairportfan wrote:

Hansontoons wrote:

AnotherFairportfan wrote:

salted.jpg

I've see them in a mixed 12-pack, as much as I like other NB creations I just dunno about those....

I know.

I know it's obviously a Creation Of The Devil.

no it isn't... God* created it...




*: IF you go by the definition of god creating EVERYTHING... and that the definition of everything INCLUDES "The Devil", who created this... then, BY DEFINITION: God Created it...

Julie wrote:

Hansontoons wrote:

AnotherFairportfan wrote:

salted.jpg

I've see them in a mixed 12-pack, as much as I like other NB creations I just dunno about those....

You guys can keep wondering. I, on the other hand, want them in my belly

With a few pints of the ice cream to go along with?

I'd much prefer a pint of Karamel Sutra with a Manhattan.

We'll have to have a 007 marathon of course, since it has already been discussed...

I need to go back to Walmart with a pocket full of quarters.

shadowinthelight wrote:I need to go back to Walmart with a pocket full of quarters.

I miss arcades...
Dave and Busters is alright, but it doesn't have the same feel.

But I need to check the ones here in town to see if they've got the new Rob Zombie pinball machine...

I thought i'd posted this link to an absolutely hilarious Sainsbury's Christmas campaign (also promoting child literacy)

AnotherFairportfan wrote:I thought i'd posted this link to an absolutely hilarious Sainsbury's Christmas campaign (also promoting child literacy)

That was super cute!!

Julie wrote:

AnotherFairportfan wrote:I thought i'd posted this link to an absolutely hilarious Sainsbury's Christmas campaign (also promoting child literacy)

That was super cute!!

Never mind "super cute", that was downright adorable!