Wapsi Square Forum

Dave wrote:

GlytchMeister wrote:In other news, happy 60th (apparently) birthday Dave. According to the little birthdays thing at the bottom of the index page.

Thanks! Yes, it's another page turned in the Book of Life.

If I understand correctly (based on my wife's experience for the last few years, and my own for the last few months) this is the chapter entitled "One new membership come-on from the AARP, every month, from now until eternity, verily it shall be, Amen!"

(grumble)

I'm two years behind you and have been gleefully shredding that form of junk mail for a couple of years. Or is it just denial....? Or de plane? Or passing de dutchie on the left-hand side? Now get that song outta yer head!

Hansontoons wrote:

Dave wrote:

GlytchMeister wrote:In other news, happy 60th (apparently) birthday Dave. According to the little birthdays thing at the bottom of the index page.

Thanks! Yes, it's another page turned in the Book of Life.

If I understand correctly (based on my wife's experience for the last few years, and my own for the last few months) this is the chapter entitled "One new membership come-on from the AARP, every month, from now until eternity, verily it shall be, Amen!"

(grumble)

I'm two years behind you and have been gleefully shredding that form of junk mail for a couple of years. Or is it just denial....? Or de plane? Or passing de dutchie on the left-hand side? Now get that song outta yer head!

... it is degeneration... standard for many Wapsi conversations...

[quote="
I'm two years behind you and have been gleefully shredding that form of junk mail for a couple of years. Or is it just denial....? Or de plane? Or passing de dutchie on the left-hand side? Now get that song outta yer head![/quote]

... it is degeneration... standard for many Wapsi conversations...[/quote]

It just hit me up side the dome, it's DEVO!

And thank you again for your stories, fantastic reads.

(And still mess multiple quote quoting, despite Lake Wrangler's teachings...)

---

I had a sudden sense of dread hit me as I headed back to the exit.

The end of the aisle was in sight, and I could see the lobby for my particular portal just ahead - but something told me that things were just not right.

I stopped, looking around, seeing if the floor had changed.

No ice.

I looked up. Nothing appeared to be dangling from the ceiling; nor did there appear to be any 10-ton Acme Anvils heading down from above.

I carefully took a few steps into the lobby. The floor was solid, and nothing was out of the ordinary.

I frowned.

I took a quick look at the signs for the four doors.

They were all blank.

My face soured very quickly. I narrowed my eyes as I looked at the entrance I normally came through.

I've had enough of this.

I pulled out a piece of paper I had in my pocket, and read the list:

• 1/4 cup vinegar
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 4 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 red bell pepper, cut into 1-inch squares
• 1 cup tomato sauce
• 2 cups beef stock
• 1 potato, peeled and cut into large chunks
• 2 carrots, peeled and cut into large chunks
• 1/2 cup green peas
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 1 pinch cayenne pepper
• 1 pound bone-in goat meat, cut into large chunks

1. Mix goat meat with vinegar, soy sauce, and garlic in a large bowl; cover and refrigerate from 1 to 8 hours. For best flavor, marinate at least 6 hours. Remove meat from marinade and pat dry with paper towels; reserve marinade and garlic cloves.

2. Heat vegetable oil in a large pot over medium-high heat and brown the goat meat, working in batches if necessary, 10 to 15 minutes. Set goat meat aside. Cook and stir onion, red bell pepper, and garlic cloves from the marinade over medium heat until onion is translucent, about 5 minutes; pour in tomato sauce and bring mixture to a simmer. Allow to cook down slightly, about 5 minutes.

3. Return goat meat to the sauce and pour in reserved marinade and beef stock. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer covered until goat meat is partially tender, 30 to 40 minutes. Stir in potato, carrots, and peas; season with salt, black pepper, and cayenne pepper. Simmer until goat meat is very tender and potato and carrots are cooked through, 20 to 30 more minutes. Adjust seasonings before serving.

I got all the way to "refrigerate from 1 to 8 hours" when the door I was standing in front of suddenly had a huge "EXIT HERE" sign.

"Good girl," I said aloud, and walked out into the Northern Wisconsin summer evening.

Heeheehee!

Buck was on his belly, slightly sedated through the IV in his left arm. Top naked except for the towels masking off the area of the wound. When x-ray showed the location of the bullet as just below the skin of his back, one daring EMT popped it out like a zit... and got an earful of some colorful language. Then Buck was placed on the gurney face down, scrubbed with betadine, toweled off and another EMT proceeded to debride and close the wound under local anesthesia. The rib was broken, and a nerve root suffered some shock from the concussion, but all that would heal.
"Let me get this straight- you grabbed the one dude's gun and SMACKED him with it, got the drop on the second one- then the third dude SHOOTS YOU IN THE BACK... and you DROP THE .44 MAG you are holding and FREIGHT TRAIN him to DEATH... MAN, why didn't ya just SHOOT THE PUNK?"
"... this will sound odd... I've never fired a gun before...besides, when he shot me, I kinda forgot that I could shoot him back... I just went totally, I don't know, 'Old School' on him,"
"Where did you learn to snag the gun like that? Are you... no, you never fired a gun before, you couldn't be military- where did you learn that?"
"An old ex Army Ranger my Dad knew- guy was nuckin' futz, if you catch my drift... but he knew how to fight... once dropped two muggers working as a team... said he was 'all warmed up and they didn't want to play anymore'... I'm serious, THAT'S how he said it,"
"He still alive?" asked the tech.
"Might be, I don't know... if he IS dead, it will be from a bottle, not some punk,"
"Heavy drinker?"
"Drank like a fish... you about done? Only, I came here to SEE a patient, not to BE one,"
"Putting in the last suture as we speak... but the Police have a few questions for you, and they will not be put off- there, a little xeroform, a folded 4x4 and a large tegaderm... no showers for three days, come back in five and we'll remove these bad boys,"
"Fine."

One punk in custody, one in intensive care and one downstairs on a slab... one minor casualty, several frightened people. All-in-all, could've been much worse. The police were quite satisfied with Buck's story, especially when it was corroborated by all witnesses.
Now came the real trial.
"Buck, right?" Kevin faced him, "Kathy's having her tonsils removed... due to blunt trauma... care to elaborate?"
Justin caught the conversation- "Blunt trauma, you say? Yes, I believe an explanation might be in order,"
"Aw Crap!" Buck thought to himself, "Out of the frying pan and into the fire,"... "Right- Guys, I understand that you are Kathy's friends... and that this looks pretty bad... I suggest we wait and hear a bit from Kathy rather than you take my word when we don't know each other,"
"I will second that opinion," stated Neil as he strode into the ED with a rather pale looking Phix on his arm.
Justin and Kevin turned to see the Bride and Groom from yesterday- "Well, we thought you weren't coming," commented Kevin.
"Slight delay- and from what I hear on the radio, I missed the party- Buck, you look pretty solid for somebody that's just been shot in the back,"
"Neil! ...and Phix! Damn, are you alright?' Buck sounded concerned.
"Gave two units of blood this morning... I'll be fine though,"
"We took the liberty of looking into you- Gentlemen, I doubt that Buck here was malicious or careless with Katherine... and I think that we ought to consider him as part of our extended 'family' as it were... right now, I suggest we concentrate on Katherine, NOT prod her with embarrassing questions and let her know we are concerned for her welfare,"
"What is this thing about Mama's tonsils?" Atsali barged into the conversation.
"She's had an accident, I won't elaborate, the Doctors are sorting it out... but, unless I miss my guess...your Mother has a gentleman caller,"
Atsali's face was blank, but Castela chirped up right away- "MAMA'S GOT A- A BOYFRIEND! SHE'S GOT A- A BOYFRIEND!!!"
There was a quick moment where one could hear the gears clunk into engagement, Atsali looked at Buck and said, "...whoa..."

Poor Atsali almost burnt out her clutch on that one.

Magnificent, as usual. And captivating... I'm supposed to have left on a short bike trip (just an overnighter) a while ago, but ended up reading this instead... Now I need to move!

Sgt. Howard wrote:One punk in custody, one in intensive care and one downstairs on a slab... one minor casualty, several frightened people. All-in-all, could've been much worse. The police were quite satisfied with Buck's story, especially when it was collaborated by all witnesses.

Just so you know, stories are corroborated by witnesses, whether those witnesses are collaborating together or not...

jwhouk wrote:---

I had a sudden sense of dread hit me as I headed back to the exit.

The end of the aisle was in sight, and I could see the lobby for my particular portal just ahead - but something told me that things were just not right.

I stopped, looking around, seeing if the floor had changed.

No ice.

I looked up. Nothing appeared to be dangling from the ceiling; nor did there appear to be any 10-ton Acme Anvils heading down from above.

I carefully took a few steps into the lobby. The floor was solid, and nothing was out of the ordinary.

I frowned.

I took a quick look at the signs for the four doors.

They were all blank.

My face soured very quickly. I narrowed my eyes as I looked at the entrance I normally came through.

I've had enough of this.

I pulled out a piece of paper I had in my pocket, and read the list:

• 1/4 cup vinegar
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 4 cloves garlic, crushed
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 red bell pepper, cut into 1-inch squares
• 1 cup tomato sauce
• 2 cups beef stock
• 1 potato, peeled and cut into large chunks
• 2 carrots, peeled and cut into large chunks
• 1/2 cup green peas
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 1 pinch cayenne pepper
• 1 pound bone-in goat meat, cut into large chunks

1. Mix goat meat with vinegar, soy sauce, and garlic in a large bowl; cover and refrigerate from 1 to 8 hours. For best flavor, marinate at least 6 hours. Remove meat from marinade and pat dry with paper towels; reserve marinade and garlic cloves.

2. Heat vegetable oil in a large pot over medium-high heat and brown the goat meat, working in batches if necessary, 10 to 15 minutes. Set goat meat aside. Cook and stir onion, red bell pepper, and garlic cloves from the marinade over medium heat until onion is translucent, about 5 minutes; pour in tomato sauce and bring mixture to a simmer. Allow to cook down slightly, about 5 minutes.

3. Return goat meat to the sauce and pour in reserved marinade and beef stock. Bring to a boil, reduce heat to low, and simmer covered until goat meat is partially tender, 30 to 40 minutes. Stir in potato, carrots, and peas; season with salt, black pepper, and cayenne pepper. Simmer until goat meat is very tender and potato and carrots are cooked through, 20 to 30 more minutes. Adjust seasonings before serving.

I got all the way to "refrigerate from 1 to 8 hours" when the door I was standing in front of suddenly had a huge "EXIT HERE" sign.

"Good girl," I said aloud, and walked out into the Northern Wisconsin summer evening.

You sir, are too much. I'm finally able to breathe now, having laughed myself into a most unpleasant dislocation. Bravo.

(bows deeply)

By the way, someone tell the birdbrain that she owes the Pun Vault.

jwhouk wrote:(bows deeply)

By the way, someone tell the birdbrain that she owes the Pun Vault.

Why?

GlytchMeister wrote:

jwhouk wrote:(bows deeply)

By the way, someone tell the birdbrain that she owes the Pun Vault.

Why?

"...whoa..." is what you say to stop a horse...

Oh. Duh.
I was looking for a bird-related pun. Closest I could find was Castela "chirping up."

Well, I guess that's a mark against my semi-country boy status.

Well, I have no snappy patter at the moment, and be sure to understand, I'm enjoying these chapters immensely-

but its been bugging me the last few days that Katherine's tonsils have to be removed.

I fully understand what got them in such condition but I'm of a mind to at least try antiinflammatory medicines and enforced silence, mega-nutrition liquid diet, etc, etc...

TazManiac wrote:Well, I have no snappy patter at the moment, and be sure to understand, I'm enjoying these chapters immensely-

but its been bugging me the last few days that Katherine's tonsils have to be removed.

I fully understand what got them in such condition but I'm of a mind to at least try antiinflammatory medicines and enforced silence, mega-nutrition liquid diet, etc, etc...

When blunt trauma is involved, it is always a question of degree- I saw many years in the South San Francisco Bay area... I have seen more than a few emergency Tonsillectomies from the very thing- hemorrhage is the issue. and some have drowned in their own blood.

Sgt. Howard wrote:

TazManiac wrote:Well, I have no snappy patter at the moment, and be sure to understand, I'm enjoying these chapters immensely-

but its been bugging me the last few days that Katherine's tonsils have to be removed.

I fully understand what got them in such condition but I'm of a mind to at least try antiinflammatory medicines and enforced silence, mega-nutrition liquid diet, etc, etc...

When blunt trauma is involved, it is always a question of degree- I saw many years in the South San Francisco Bay area... I have seen more than a few emergency Tonsillectomies from the very thing- hemorrhage is the issue. and some have drowned in their own blood.

I'll take "Appetite-ruiners" for five hundred, Alex.

Trust me: nothing ruins your appetite faster than spitting up blood clots as you're eating.

whaaaaa...
http://wapsisquare.com/comic/katherine-smiles/

yet and still, lay on...

Katherine was slowly coming to grips with her circumstances, and very unpleasant they were. Her head had margional focus, her stomach was in full rebellion and her throat... her throat...
"Did I gargle with a running chainsaw?" she wondered to herself as she winced down a swallow. The pain was ... well, if you've had it done, you know... if not, count yourself lucky. A nurse noticed her facial expression and came right over with a syringe.
"Are you hurting?" she asked.
Afraid to talk, Kathy nodded.
"This is Morphine Sulfate- it will reduce the pain and make you drowsy. When you leave here, we will give you torodol tablets- the Doctor will tell about useing them... right after THIS takes effect, you might have trouble remembering," she commented as she injected the fluid into Kathy's IV.
"Well," she thought as the medicine took affect, "...That didn't take long..." and soon came down with the giggles. She risked speach-
"Can... Buck Alexander come back here?" she asked.
"No Deary- you should not be talking just yet... rather risky. The Doctor doesn't want you to knock something loose and start bleeding. When you do have family here, they need to understand that you should not talk, at least for the day- do you understand?"
Kathy made a sour face and nodded.

"Alexander? As in 'Alexander Harvesters'? THAT Alexander?" Alan asked,"
"That seems to be a popular question," replied Buck, "Yes, that's my family. We've been designing and building harvesters since 1879, back when we had to pull them ourselves,"
"Centaurs pulling harvesters? ... that makes no sense..." commented Atsali.
"It makes perfect sense- twelve horses pulling one machine? Horses aren't that smart, a team that size cannot be handled by a human operator... but centaurs can be a horse just as easily as a human, as we have a hoof in either door. One centaur as a human would operate the silly thing while the rest of them pulled it...they generally took turns, as I understand it. Never sold a machine, but harvested most of Kansas, Nebraska, Missouri and Ohio for a good number of years. By 1891, we had twenty machines and the teams to drive them. Then Great-Grandfather 'Stud' put a steam engine in front of the thing and it REALLY took off- we sold eight units that year. Sold forty the next. Grampa 'Crowbar' designed the first self-driving harvester... ran on number 3 fuel oil... that was 1915. When we entered WWI, the federal government bought thirty to keep wheat and corn production up with less manpower. By 1930, our gasoline- powered units were standard... by 1956 our diesel units set the mark for everybody else... sorry, didn't mean to go on the soapbox there... family history, you see. I grew up hearing this over and over again as a colt and I am always happy to prattle it off to anybody who would listen..."
"Quite alright... always interesting to know where my bread comes from," commented Neil.

Lily awoke early, somewhat disoriented but fully rested... she ordered delivery from the Haemo-Bar, spruced up herself a bit and basked in the glory of her new status.
She had been pronounced a 'peer'- she had the patronage of the 'Jaguar Girl'.
She could be seen in daylight... provided she had blood.
In twenty-five minutes, four units of 'B' negative (not very fresh, but still good) arrived at her door. She covered the bill, gave a tip and kept a price list as a future reference.
Then she gorged.
She would never be 'plump'- she was rather thin while pregnant- but she LIKED what she saw as she looked at her body fleshing out more than it had in centuries.
She could never see herself in a mirror, of course... but she imagined her face no longer looked hollow.

And she was right...what's more, she looked ...fine...