Wapsi Square Forum

I've never done drugs, smoked tobacco, or drank alcohol (outside accidentally swallowing mouthwash when startled, but that doesn't count), so I didn't know what to do with it. I ended up asking the manager if the company had a protocol for when somebody finds pot, he just told me to throw it away.
*shrug*

Alkarii wrote:Working in the parking lot at a well-known home improvement store (hint: orange), I tend to find the weirdest things that people leave. I don't mean just forgotten in a cart, either, though that happens a lot. Weird things, like, oh, say, a wedding dress.

I imagine there's a story, lurking behind every odd "discard". A good author could probably scribe up a whole book's worth of short stories, just using these discards as departure points.

Mnd you, the stories might not be correct about what had actually happened, but they could be interesting nevertheless if the author is a good one.

(vis the "Five Fates" anthology, with five SF stories by Laumer, Dickson, Anderson, Ellison, and Herbert. They share the same two-page prologue, and then veer off into five completely different directions and styles. Quite a good and fascinating read.)

So far, I've found:

A lawn equipment battery
several tires
a shelf display full of packages of burger buns
a box of canned food
old speakers
a leaf blower
An air compressor
A length of cable in new condition
A bag of weed
A mirror
A complete wedding dress, in its original box
Several phones and tablets
Random cardboard boxes (for everything from lawn mowers to baby furniture to flat screen tvs)
Bags of garbage (sometimes with rotting meat in them)
A basketball, and a kickball

One guy found a dead alligator snapping turtle someone ran over and then brought here. That might be the closest thing to being as crazy as the wedding dress.

Dave wrote:

Alkarii wrote:Working in the parking lot at a well-known home improvement store (hint: orange), I tend to find the weirdest things that people leave. I don't mean just forgotten in a cart, either, though that happens a lot. Weird things, like, oh, say, a wedding dress.

I imagine there's a story, lurking behind every odd "discard". A good author could probably scribe up a whole book's worth of short stories, just using these discards as departure points.

Mind you, the stories might not be correct about what had actually happened, but they could be interesting nevertheless if the author is a good one.
<snip >

See if you can find a copy of 'Tales of Manhattan'...

Dave wrote:

Alkarii wrote:Working in the parking lot at a well-known home improvement store (hint: orange), I tend to find the weirdest things that people leave. I don't mean just forgotten in a cart, either, though that happens a lot. Weird things, like, oh, say, a wedding dress.

I imagine there's a story, lurking behind every odd "discard". A good author could probably scribe up a whole book's worth of short stories, just using these discards as departure points.

Mnd you, the stories might not be correct about what had actually happened, but they could be interesting nevertheless if the author is a good one.

Alkarii wrote:So far, I've found:

At least the alligator wasn't in the wedding dress.

shadowinthelight wrote:

Alkarii wrote:So far, I've found:

At least the alligator wasn't in the wedding dress.

Found an Alligator Snapping Turtle ON the site Wedding Dress....

Alkarii wrote:That's why I leave mine at home.

Good policy.

I've thought of writing a short story to be titled "Metadata" and consisting of solely the sort of stuff that it is now admitted that the US's National Security Agency collects on cell-phone calls...

Alkarii wrote:Working in the parking lot at a well-known home improvement store (hint: orange), I tend to find the weirdest things that people leave. I don't mean just forgotten in a cart, either, though that happens a lot. Weird things, like, oh, say, a wedding dress.

Yesterday, I found a little bag of weed. I didn't keep it, though. I disposed of it, because it could have been laced with PCP or whatever.

Someone is probably pissed, though.

An acquaintance of mine is an elderly (approximately 280 years old, by my estimation) man who works doing odd jobs at one of the local grocery stores. The store has a couple of special shopping carts for parents with children: they're shaped like little enclosed racing cars, and have the shopping basket attached to the back. The kids can sit in the front in the "car" part honking the horn and spinning the little nonfunctional steering wheels, while the parents push them through the store and do the shopping.

He found a gallon zip-close bag of weed under the seat in one of them.

Dave wrote:I imagine there's a story, lurking behind every odd "discard". A good author could probably scribe up a whole book's worth of short stories, just using these discards as departure points.

Sort of like that short story Ernest Hemingway is supposed to have written:

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn".

Catawampus wrote:

Alkarii wrote:Working in the parking lot at a well-known home improvement store (hint: orange), I tend to find the weirdest things that people leave. I don't mean just forgotten in a cart, either, though that happens a lot. Weird things, like, oh, say, a wedding dress.

Yesterday, I found a little bag of weed. I didn't keep it, though. I disposed of it, because it could have been laced with PCP or whatever.

Someone is probably pissed, though.

An acquaintance of mine is an elderly (approximately 280 years old, by my estimation) man who works doing odd jobs at one of the local grocery stores. The store has a couple of special shopping carts for parents with children: they're shaped like little enclosed racing cars, and have the shopping basket attached to the back. The kids can sit in the front in the "car" part honking the horn and spinning the little nonfunctional steering wheels, while the parents push them through the store and do the shopping.

He found a gallon zip-close bag of weed under the seat in one of them.

Dave wrote:I imagine there's a story, lurking behind every odd "discard". A good author could probably scribe up a whole book's worth of short stories, just using these discards as departure points.

Sort of like that short story Ernest Hemingway is supposed to have written:

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn".

...and people wondeted why I used to act OCD and wipe down the entire surface of one of those before letting him drive...

I'm kinda allergic to that crap(more than a tiny reason I never tried it, and other type bad things), and after a decade working in the grocery industry, trust people to be nice and normal in the store even less.

DinkyInky wrote:I'm kinda allergic to that crap(more than a tiny reason I never tried it,

"♫ No thank you, please,
it only makes me sneeze,
then it makes it hard to find the door. ♪"

A new coffee to try at Mucho Mocha...

Dave wrote:

DinkyInky wrote:I'm kinda allergic to that crap(more than a tiny reason I never tried it,

"♫ No thank you, please,
it only makes me sneeze,
then it makes it hard to find the door. ♪"

Commander Cody says Hoyt Axton (who wrote it) offered him the "No No Song", but his wife persuaded him that (with things like "Seeds and Stems (Again)", it would make him look too much like he specialised in drug songs, so he didn't record it.

Hoyt took it to Ringo, and it made three million dollars.

There nay have been a divorce...

Dave wrote:

DinkyInky wrote:I'm kinda allergic to that crap(more than a tiny reason I never tried it,

"♫ No thank you, please,
it only makes me sneeze,
then it makes it hard to find the door. ♪"

Yeah, just like that Ringo, only add the part where the emergency techs are sticking adrenaline in my veins...

Jabberwonky wrote:A new coffee to try at Mucho Mocha...

It's very nice if you fancy a super-duper strong brew.

DinkyInky wrote:

Jabberwonky wrote:A new coffee to try at Mucho Mocha...

It's very nice if you fancy a super-duper strong brew.

O.o

How does that even work? What? is the bottom of the cup a filter? but wouldn't the coffee just pour back out through the filter? My brain, it hurts...

EDIT:
Found out how it works. It's not sorcery. it just looks a lot like it.

EDITEDIT:

Gawd, the finished product looked like mud.

Jabberwonky wrote:A new coffee to try at Mucho Mocha...

So this is what Tina served to Stheno? I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

DinkyInky wrote: It's very nice if you fancy a super-duper strong brew.

Which I do, but...well actually, I'll happily try it before drawing a line anywhere. Hopefully it's not too big a faux pas to add some sugar.

Jabberwonky wrote:A new coffee to try at Mucho Mocha...

Unrelated, from a link on the side of that page: What you get when you pour molten aluminum into a watermelon

That... is really beautiful metal-casting! Makes me want to go have a cup of that super-sand-powered foamy coffee!