Fifty Three

[Sgt. Howard]

I wept... openly... it was beautiful. The wounds were even right. Outstanding...

[GlytchMeister]

It was definitely powerful. I'm not really big on this sort if thing, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Good job.

Also, props for handling this can o' worms well. I'm still not gonna touch the Abrahamic faiths with a ten-foot pole in my fanfic. You're a braver author than I.

[Dave]

Yup. Speaking as a semi-agnostic semi-Quaker semi-Buddhist semi-pagan, I felt it was very nicely done.

[GlytchMeister]

Yup. Speaking as a semi-agnostic semi-Quaker semi-Buddhist semi-pagan, I felt it was very nicely done.

I think the word you're looking for is "Mutt." That's quite the combo.

[Dave]

Yup. Speaking as a semi-agnostic semi-Quaker semi-Buddhist semi-pagan, I felt it was very nicely done.

I think the word you're looking for is "Mutt." That's quite the combo.

Wurf!

[jwhouk]

Oh, did you think I was done?
---
Shelly materialized in the Great Hall of the Library with a start. Even though she'd been using the transport system regularly since that day Monica had "introduced" her to Phix, she still wasn't quite used to how the VORP suddenly transported you from point A to point B.

She looked around briefly. Usually when she stopped in, the Library already knew why she was there. Since she wanted to discuss some ideas about her wedding with Nicodemus, she had fully expected him to be there…

WHUMPF!

The full brunt of a charging humanoid goat knocked the wind out of Shel – and sent her skittering across the floor of the Great Hall. She rolled over, instinctually shedding her clothes and transforming to her feral self to protect her from potential danger.

The only danger, though, was an old goat who found himself on his back, and all fours pointing up to the ceiling like that of a dying cockroach.

"Oh, Nicodemus!" Shelly called out, recovering from the collision. "Are you all right? I didn't see you!"

"Oy, oy, OY!" Nicodemus tried to roll over to regain his footing – with some difficulty. "First I nearly have my eyeballs burned from the inside out, then I run into a brick wall of sphinx!" He somehow managed to bring himself back to what amounted as a standing position for himself, then looked directly at Shelly with a pointed hoof. "If it wasn't for Phix and her affection for that young man from Wisconsin, I'd tell you to strike his name off your invitation list!"

"Did he do something to you?" Shelly was confused. Nicodemus looked like he had seen a ghost – something that Shel commented to him.

"Oy, if only it were that simple!" He looked at his prayer shawl – seeing that it was no worse for the wear, he wrapped it back around his neck. "I believe your grandparents may not have been aware of the young man's… connections."

Shelly gave him a concerned look.

"He's not dangerous, is he? Like that John Smith kid from Chicago that Tsillah's dealing with?"

"No, no, it's just…" He bit his lip slightly, at a complete loss for words. "I think that, in giving him that scroll, your grandparents may have given him… well, a bit more than just an old vellum scroll. Oh, who am I kidding – he may very well know the ultimate secret of the Library itself!"

This had Shelly flabbergasted.

"Wait, what?" She sat there, open mouthed, even as her grandmother touched down just behind her.

"I heard some sort of commotion coming from over here, Nicodemus," Phix said in approaching the pair. She sized up the old rabbi with a turned head. "Are you all right?"

"OY!" he cried out, throwing his forehooves skyward. "DO I LOOK LIKE I'M ALL RIGHT?"

Phix and Shelly gave each other a glance. Nicodemus finally managed to right himself, saw Phix standing next to her granddaughter, and gave them both an accusatory hoof.

"That young man knows more than he lets on," he stated to the pair. "I underestimated the depth of his knowledge – not just on the subject of the existence of paranormals, but on the Library itself!"

Phix's demeanor dropped in an instant.

"What do you mean?" Her teeth were clenched slightly.

"He was… talked to."

Phix and Nicodemus stared at each other, which didn't make Shelly any less confused – nor comfortable.

"Uh, pardon me for being a bit late to the party, but what exactly does 'talked to' mean?"

"Shelly, dear," Phix spoke in a distinct monotone. "There are some things about the Library that aren't meant to be shared with the world."

"Or the universe at large," Nicodemus added. "The Library does not go around speaking to people. When it does, it's a major occurrence."

"It changes the game," Phix said. The monotone explanation of the two was starting to make Shelly's hair stand on end.

"The Library spoke to him?" Shelly's brain was overloading slightly trying to process this. "But why?"

"Is this about the Big Tree again?" The three of them all turned. Neil came sauntering onto the scene. "Dear, Dixie finally went down for her nap…"

"Aeterna," Phix corrected him with a cross look.

"…and it looks like she's gotten over her teething for the moment." He looked at Nicodemus and Shelly. "You two look like you just heard that Kennedy was shot."

Shelly exchanged glances with both Phix and Nicodemus.

"Anyways, if this is about the Tree of Knowledge thing, I don't know what the big deal is," he said with an exaggerated shrug. "I mean, it makes sense, if you think about it."

"Wait," Nicodemus looked at him. "How do you know about the Tree?" He turned to Phix. "From you?"

"What? No, no, I figured it out a long time ago. When I started looking for Herodotus, I saw the reference in Genesis about the other tree in Eden. After the wedding, I noticed the tree in the middle of the courtyard, outside Phix's office." Neil motioned with his hands. "Two and two together."

"Dear, it's not just that," Phix replied in her concerned monotone. "The Library spoke to him."

"Spoke to him?"

"Yes, yes! And his face! His face shone like a fireball emerging from the fiery furnace!"

"Huh." Neil was rather bemused by this. "Well, then. If that is actually the case, I suspect it wasn't the Library." He raised an eyebrow.

"It was probably the carpenter who helped build it."

[GlytchMeister]

Duuuuuuuuude...

Also, thanks for the reference! ^_^

[Sgt. Howard]

A delightful punchline! And from the world's oldest human smart-ass! Plus, ya gotta love Nicodemus... originally a minor comic relief, he became a major player in his own right... I've got a background story for him and I shall one day pen it.

[jwhouk]

Thankyew.

Looking back, I had wanted to do more on the "burning face" issue, but this is a good stopping place, methinks.

The reference to the glowing face that Nicodemus made, by the way, is from Exodus 34:29-35.

[Warrl]

Yup. Speaking as a semi-agnostic semi-Quaker semi-Buddhist semi-pagan, I felt it was very nicely done.

I think the word you're looking for is "Mutt." That's quite the combo.

It really is quite the combo - particularly if you take the four "semi"s literally, since that totals up to two...

[Dave]

Yup. Speaking as a semi-agnostic semi-Quaker semi-Buddhist semi-pagan, I felt it was very nicely done.

I think the word you're looking for is "Mutt." That's quite the combo.

It really is quite the combo - particularly if you take the four "semi"s literally, since that totals up to two...

If you do the literal, original reading of "semi", yes. Informally it's now used to mean "partially" or "somewhat" as well.

"Hemi" seems to retain its original Latin meaning of "half", though.

[jwhouk]

Not quite in the same realm of the previous story, but too good not to share:

---

When I entered the Library via my usual portal, I realized that the entrance had changed – again – since my last visit.

The Joan of Arc statue was still there to greet me, but now there was a reception desk sitting next to the statue. A woman, with hair done up in a high "bouffant" hair-do, sat behind it, idly reading a book. There didn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary with her, at first – until I noticed her hair.

Her hair was this rather… interesting… shade of metallic green and silver, that seemed to change slightly in the lighting.

That just confirmed for me who this was.

I looked down, closed my eyes, and simply said, "Euryale?"

I heard some shifting, and the sound of a book being placed on a desktop.

"Oh, hello there, darlin'," came the sweet southern lilt of her voice. "Ah wuz told y'all might be droppin' bah."

"Uh, is it okay for me to look up?" I asked tentatively.

"Oh, shure 'nuff, honey," she replied. "I gots my gals on notice thayuh ain't supposed to come out lest I tell 'um." I steeled myself and raised my head, seeing Euryale's bright face behind the desk.

"Okay, two questions – first, not as important: how the heck does a gorgon end up with a Southern accent? Secondly," I added, noticing that there were ropes and stanchions blocking off access to the stacks, "What's up with all this?"

She giggled slightly at the questions.

"Wey-ull," she started, "Thayuh's a reason why I hayuv an accent." She paused for a moment. "Mah reg'lah voiccccce issssn't asssss pleassssss-ant." The sudden loss of her accent – and change of tone – had the unwanted side effect of turning her countenance scary. Before I could turn my head, she closed her eyes and laughed a bit.

"Jes' playin' wit yah, hon." She gave me a sweet look. "As fuh yah's second question – Library's closed today due to an uhn-for-seen circumstance. Thayuh's a tri-be-you-nal goin' on that involves tha full attention of tha Library's stay-uf."

"Phix and Nudge?" I was a bit surprised, then thought for a moment. "Is this about that warden I heard about that was charged with murder for assisting a suicide of an inmate?" She brought her finger to her nose, then to her lips.

"Mum's tha word," she replied. "Still – Library's closed until tha legal pro-ceedin's are done. Ah was sent to help make sure some o' tha reg'lars warn't put off by it."

"Well, actually, I was a bit concerned as to how Suzie and Lily were doing," I said – still not sure enough to keep my eyes on the gorgon for long. "I heard a bit back at Jin and Kath's wedding about the Pact, and I understand that what they went through could be quite draining – in more ways than one," I quickly added.

She found the unintentional pun mildly amusing.

"Wahl, if you'n want to go see um, ah thank thayuh're at a certain lil' coffee shop in tha Twin Cities." She motioned behind me. "Tha Trains-poht System's still up an' activay-ted, so's you can use it to get to'n the co-ordinates." She scribbled something down on a piece of paper, then handed it to me. "Give'n this locay-shun to tha trains-porter. It'll get ya to that entrance, lickety-split!"

I reached out and took the paper from Euryale, nodding a bit in thanks.

"Any idea when full access will be back?" I asked. She shook her head.

"No clue. Tha process maht take a whahl. His lawyuhs ain't familiar with a real Library."

"I bet," I said. "Have fun," I waved in departure. She waved, then went back to reading her book.

Turning around, the Transport System doors were already open by the one wall. I stepped in and read off the location – Floor 55, Aisle 404.

The entrance was a simple one – a hallway, leading to a door that opened inward. When I stepped out, I was in an alleyway – but not the one behind Chino Latino's.

The front of the building was to my right as I stepped out, so I walked down the alleyway to the street. I recognized the street immediately: Franklin Avenue.

And to my immediate right was none other than Mucho Mocha.

This is going to be a popular portal, I thought.

[AmriloJim]

I know there's a lovely "404 Not Found" pun brewing here...

[Dave]

I know there's a lovely "404 Not Found" pun brewing here...

Well, that would have been the case, if Euryale had used a different way of giving him the directions. She could have tied a Mayan quipu around his finger.

If she had done that, the proper location would have been 404 Knot-found.

(Places two woven alpaca scarves into the Pun Jar... one for me, and one for the setup... thanks, AmriloJim!)

[Sgt. Howard]

It is grand to read somebody else's work!

[jwhouk]

Hint: Put the Floor and Aisle numbers together.

[DinkyInky]

Hint: Put the Floor and Aisle numbers together.

Yesirree the weather is just dandy...partly cloudy, chance of rain...oh, and make sure to pack the kleenex and antihistamines, because there's a high pollen alert in the Twin Cities...*whistles innocently*

[AmriloJim]

Hint: Put the Floor and Aisle numbers together.

Sounds like a plan that might improve the zone.

[Atomic]

Closed for a trial, eh? I thought I heard of one in progress somewhere....

[jwhouk]

An aside: I think the lady who cut my hair today had the same shade of green (a color job, obviously) that I envision Euryale to have naturally.