Grounded And Smart 2013-12-05

[Fairportfan]

In a few years, we'll all be fretting over when Castela gets her own prickly pair.

(drops a bag of Purina Whatsit Chow Fudge Flavor into the Pun Receptacle)

it was down in cripple creek
i was dyin' for a leak
so i dropped my pants behind a cactus there
when i fastened up my belt
i can't tell you what i felt ...
...but i knew the meanin' of a prickly pair

i got cactus in my y-fronts
a vulture on my head;
i've just been kissed by a tennessee miss
and i wish that i was dead
i've got a jockstrap made of leather
and pats of pvc ...
... but cactus in my y-fronts
made a loser out of me

[kingklash]

First of all, would Dolly Parton even be a valid reference for Atsali? Dolly was a 1960s country music star who branched out in the 80s into other media for a while. IIRC she hasn't made any records of movies either one since the turn of the century.

Also mentioning Dolly reminds me of a Mel Tillis joke he used to tell at concerts (you could tell the joke was coming because Mel would stop stuttering): "Oh look, I see Dolly Parton in the audience." Murmurs and looking around for several seconds. "Opps, sorry, it was just two bald guys sitting together!"

Ms. Parton has been in the sight of some younglings, as she played a recurring role as Hanna Montana's relative. Of course, that was before Miley turned off that portion of her brain.

[Fairportfan]

Of course, that was before Miley turned off that portion of her brain.

"Portion"?

[Wyvern]

I was expecting to see where the wings come out when we saw Atsali's back, like the doors that cover the landing gear on a plane. I guess they just manifest as opposed to unfolding. (There's no room inside her body for them now that I think of it.) I hope she can still fly now that her center of gravity has shifted.

It's a bit late, but it would be interesting to imagine a conservation of mass system. It could have been that whenever a siren's wings deployed in back she deflated in front; this would certainly explain why sirens tend to be large in the chest. (34L? Good God!) Astali would have a reason to carry more ballast than most girls.

[DilyV]

[quote="Fairportfan]
Oh great... now I need a case of mental floss to get that image out of my head. Dolly Parton's boobs on Bea Arthur? Good God, she'd be tripping on them at her age!!! [/quote]
No, she'd be lying quietly on her back with them sitting on her chest. She died four years ago.

That said, she was a Definite Babe in her day...

three penny 2.jpg

3pny.jpg

[/quote]

I should have added if she were still alive... I knew she'd passed, I was referring to if she were still alive today.

[zachariah]

I was expecting to see where the wings come out when we saw Atsali's back, like the doors that cover the landing gear on a plane. I guess they just manifest as opposed to unfolding. (There's no room inside her body for them now that I think of it.) I hope she can still fly now that her center of gravity has shifted.

It's a bit late, but it would be interesting to imagine a conservation of mass system. It could have been that whenever a siren's wings deployed in back she deflated in front; this would certainly explain why sirens tend to be large in the chest. (34L? Good God!) Astali would have a reason to carry more ballast than most girls.

It's never too late. With the change she will have to learn to fly all over. Her aerodynamic, body balance, moment of inertia have all changed. So she will need to learn how to fly safely. There are probably a lot of walls and trees she may be flying into in the near future. If a sports bra was a challenge for Lidia then what about if Sali asks for a flying bra? That would give a whole new meaning to lift and thrust.

drop a copy of flight simulator 1.0 into the jar.

[GlytchMeister]

My wife's best friend is five feet tall and had reduction surgery before I met her due to chronic back pain. She still has attractively large breasts so I can only imagine the burden she bore before she had the procedure.

Beyond the bra logistics, however, I cannot blame Sali for being self conscious. Thinking back over my experience in high school, I recall the girls with larger breasts were almost always considered less intelligent and more likely to be sexually active in general. I never thought it was fair and confronted people about it. This is actually one reason I was kind of an outcast. Geddy Lee was right: conform or be cast out...

There's still hope. I moved around a lot during elementary, middle, and high school. I was always labeled "the new kid", then "the smart kid" as the other kids noticed my academic performance, and finally came to the final label of "the dangerous genius", when a jock(s) decided to assert their supposed superiority over me in an inevitably violent fashion, especially in middle and high school.
...I've been in martial arts since elementary school, and I studied anatomy as a hobby since middle school, and have always had a rather good understanding of the laws of physics. As one may suspect, these three factors contributed greatly to my "dangerous" status. After these tussles, I would eventually become more or less invisible. The fight would be forgotten, my name would be associated with either large doses of pain, help with homework, or bully-repellant, depending on which caste someone was.
Needless to say, I always ended up outcast. And that meant I sat at the "outcast table" at lunch. As it turned out, being friends with the Outcasts is probably the best way to go through school: everyone understands that everyone at the table is a bit freaky, and it's OK. Being an outcast meant being yourself and having friends who were just as true to themselves. It meant being proud and confident and having real friends, close friends, and having not only people looking out for you but people to look out for.

All Astali has to do is find the outcast table. She'll have a hard time at first, but she'll come out in far better shape than if she tried to shoehorn herself into a "normal" group.

[Dave]

Being an outcast meant being yourself and having friends who were just as true to themselves. It meant being proud and confident and having real friends, close friends, and having not only people looking out for you but people to look out for.

Well put!

I've heard it said that one of the secrets of life is that everybody is trying to "pass for normal"... trying to be accepted, trying to conform (to one norm or another). I don't think that this is strictly and entirely true, but it's a good first approximation about the way people live their lives.

The other part of the secret is that there really isn't a "normal" out there to conform to; everybody is out of place to some extent or another.

It's the folks at the outcast table who are brave (or self-accepting) enough to admit this about themselves, rather than trying to hide it. Those who insist on hiding themselves right in the middle of the big hump in the center of the social bell-curve are often much less secure.

[GlytchMeister]

And those same people will often deal with their insecurity in... Unhealthy ways. I wouldn't be surprised if a bunch of the jocks I had to deal with were just trying to reinforce the "Alpha-male" mask they had constructed over themselves in their attempt to conform.

Fun fact: For many humans, the act of successfully conforming can cause the brain to release the same chemicals and hormones that it would during and after... successful coitus (probably not in the same quantities). If my memory serves me correctly, there is a gene that determines whether or not successful conformity triggers pleasure and reward hormones.

It's fascinating how the attempts of others to reject, antagonize, and otherwise make my life miserable ended up guiding me to a group who would accept me, help me, and end up allowing me to lead a happy, successful life. If that isn't the biggest "I bite my thumb at thee" to all those bimbos, jocks, skaters, wannabe-gangsters, stoners, goths, and goodie-two-shoes of all time, I don't know what is.

na na-na na-boo boo. Thbpthbpthbpthbp!

[Dave]

na na-na na-boo boo. Thbpthbpthbpthbp!

"And so say we all!"

[Atomic]

Fun fact: For many humans, the act of successfully conforming can cause the brain to release the same chemicals and hormones that it would during and after... successful coitus (probably not in the same quantities). If my memory serves me correctly, there is a gene that determines whether or not successful conformity triggers pleasure and reward hormones.

Ah, Maslow -- Survival first, then safety, then... belonging. Thus are built Societies.

And cliques, gangs, etc...

[jwhouk]

Maslow explains about three-fourths of the youth at my facility.




...which is where I would have been right now if a ####ing deer hadn't taken a leap in front of my car.

[GlytchMeister]

Only 3/4ths?!? Dang, you're lucky. Out of my entire high school, there were at most 7 outcasts. Pretty much everyone was either a jock or fawned over the jocks. (Bleargh)

That school was obsessed with football. Most of its money went towards their football program. If it wasn't football, it was some other sport. Their science, math, and art divisions were hopelessly underfunded. For me, a science/math/art buff, Boy Scout and gamer, that kinda sucks.

[Grantwhy]

First of all, would Dolly Parton even be a valid reference for Atsali? Dolly was a 1960s country music star who branched out in the 80s into other media for a while. IIRC she hasn't made any records of movies either one since the turn of the century.

"Turn of the Century"

Wow.

I don't know whether that makes me feel old or modern!

It could be worse - Opus could of said something like "at the end of the last Millennium"

[Wapsi]

Maslow explains about three-fourths of the youth at my facility.




...which is where I would have been right now if a ####ing deer hadn't taken a leap in front of my car.

Damn, Dude! Are you okay?! Is your car totaled?

[jwhouk]

Nah, I'm okay. I managed to avoid hitting it, but it took out my side-view mirror.

Unfortunately, in swerving to avoid hitting, my car ended up touching the shoulder - and you know how the rural roads are around here. Sheer ice, thanks to this deep freeze we're in. Car shot right into the ditch. I nearly got it back on the road, but by the time I was able to get it pointed back towards the highway, the car was too far in, and the snow was too thick.

Car's okay, save for some dents from the deer and the obliterated side-view mirror doing some pock-marks in my driver's window. Probably in need of a front-end alignment, too, along with a new front bumper fascia (there was a crack where the buck hit my front end).

That's the thing about deer around here - if they make it through hunting season, they're hardy little bastards. Thing's probably still walking around but nursing its injuries out in the woods.

When I took it into the shop for an estimate, the body shop guy saw the tufts of deer hide still stuck to the stub of my mirror (which is now just three wires sticking out from the side of the car).

[Dave]

Nah, I'm okay.

Glad to hear it, man! That sounds as if it was one of those "more excitement and adrenalin in 15 seconds, than I really ever needed in this lifetime" moments!

Your tale reminds me a bit of something Walter Slovotsky related, in one of Rosenberg's "Guardians of the Flame" novels. His family had been in an auto accident, in which the sturdy old car was totalled beyond repair but (somewhat miraculously) none of the family members was hurt. As the car was towed away, his father put his hand on the wreck and said something quietly in Polish... which Walter later learned was "Thank you, my good and faithful servant."

[jwhouk]

Welp, that was quick.

#### kid rammed me while he was turning through an intersection, and there's now MORE damage to the car. Front bumper is shattered, with the grill. Fender got shoved back, so I can't open the driver's door.

[Fairportfan]

Nah, I'm okay.

Glad to hear it, man! That sounds as if it was one of those "more excitement and adrenalin in 15 seconds, than I really ever needed in this lifetime" moments!

Heh. I've had two of those.

Totaled the only definitely-confirmed-to-exist Austin-Healey Sprite 2.5 (i had no idea how rare it was at the time, in 1971), including a flight of eighteen feet, takeoff to touchdown, swapping ends in mid air. I got one dislocated knuckle and a small cut on the other hand; the other guy skinned his knee.

In 1990, i triple-looped my '88 Honda Civic down the middle of I-65 between Montgomery and Mobile doing ninety-five (or so) at 2AM. (I think it went around twice, i caught it and then over-corrected and went once the other way.) No damage, no injury.

We have lots of deer in neighbourhoods inside the Gainesville city limits. I've seen three dead deer by the roadside in the last two weeks, almost hit one myself, saw three wandering across the lawn a few days ago, and came home last night and the headlights lit up a young buck foraging around in the vacant lot next door.

=============

Of course, last i heard, three or four bears had been killed on the roads in North Georgia in the last year or so.

[Opus the Poet]

Adrenaline moments, you call those adrenaline moments? My normal mode of transportation is the equivalent of running around on an active shooting range holding up a target, without any body armor. I have been hit 6 times this century alone, 3 times while waiting at a red light minding my own business. I regularly get shoved off the road because I was "in the way". I tell you getting around in N TX is like being Rodney Dangerfield's younger brother, "I don't get no respect."