Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

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Fairportfan
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Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by Fairportfan »

THE CARTOON LAWS OF PHYSICS

Cartoon Law I: Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second per second takes over.

Cartoon Law II: Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge’s surcease.

Cartoon Law III: Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyzes this reaction.

Cartoon Law IV: The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful.

Cartoon Law V: All principles of gravity are negated by fear. Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth’s surface. A spooky noise or an adversary’s signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

Cartoon Law VI: As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once. This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character’s head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled. A `wacky’ character has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

Cartoon Law VII: Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot.

This trompe l’oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall’s surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

Cartoon Law VIII: Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent. Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they reinflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify.

Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.

Cartoon Law IX: Everything falls faster than an anvil.

Cartoon Law X: For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite revengeance. This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to the physical world at large. For that reason, we need the relief of watching it happen to a duck instead.

Cartoon Law XI: Any character can fly by holding two feathers and flapping their arms.

Corollary: Flight is temporary, lasting only long enough to bring the character over a large drop.



AMENDMENTS TO THE CARTOON LAWS OF PHYSICS

Cartoon Law Amendment A: A sharp object will always propel a character upward. When poked (usually in the buttocks) with a sharp object (usually a pin), a character will defy gravity by shooting straight up, with great velocity.

Cartoon Law Amendment B: The laws of object permanence are nullified for “cool” characters. Characters who are intended to be “cool” can make previously nonexistent objects appear from behind their backs at will. For instance, the Road Runner can materialize signs to express himself without speaking.

Cartoon Law Amendment C: Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries. They merely turn characters temporarily black and smoky.

Cartoon Law Amendment D: Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large wavelengths. Their operation can be witnessed by observing the behavior of a canine suspended over a large vertical drop. Its feet will begin to fall first, causing its legs to stretch. As the wave reaches its torso, that part will begin to fall, causing the neck to stretch. As the head begins to fall, tension is released and the canine will resume its regular proportions until such time as it strikes the ground.

Cartoon Law Amendment E: Dynamite is spontaneously generated in “C-spaces” (spaces in which Cartoon laws hold). The process is analogous to steady-state theories of the universe which postulated that the tensions involved in maintaining a space would cause the creation of hydrogen from nothing. Dynamite quanta are quite large (stick-sized) and unstable (lit). Such quanta are attracted to psychic forces generated by feelings of distress in “cool” characters (see Amendment B, which may be a special case of this law), who are able to use said quanta to their advantage. One may imagine C-spaces where all matter and energy result from primal masses of dynamite exploding. A big bang indeed.
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by NOTDilbert »

That is going on a poster in my office! :lol:
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by Mark N »

This is just too spot on. :idea: This should be on the wall of every art school, as well in any and all cartoon museums.
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by lake_wrangler »

While it's not the first time I see this, it is an amusing pleasure to read each time...
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by alj_ws »

there is also the 100 laws of anime, but they are not remotely as funny

physic of cat is a deep subject too:

1 - Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.

2 - Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

3 - Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

4 - Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.

5 - Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken.

6 - Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is possible for the cat.

7 - Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.

8 - Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop.

9 - Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.

10 - Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.

11 - Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

12 - First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.

13 - Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

14 - Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

15 - Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light.

16 - Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.

17 - Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

18 - Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

19 - Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

20 - Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

21 - Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible.

22 - Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed.

23 - Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him.

24 - Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.

25 - Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.


There is also the Young's holes experiment :

The experiment goal is to determine wheter cats are made of wave or particle. For this, we make into a wall two circular holes, then launch cats at near the speed of light between the two holes. If the cat is of wave nature, one must observe interference fringes. After 27 trials, we observe that:
- We killed 27 cats.
- We need to repaint the wall.
- The cat is definitely not going through.
We can deduce that the cat is made of particles not waves.
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by shadowinthelight »

alj_ws wrote:There is also the Young's holes experiment :

The experiment goal is to determine wheter cats are made of wave or particle. For this, we make into a wall two circular holes, then launch cats at near the speed of light between the two holes. If the cat is of wave nature, one must observe interference fringes. After 27 trials, we observe that:
- We killed 27 cats.
- We need to repaint the wall.
- The cat is definitely not going through.
We can deduce that the cat is made of particles not waves.
I could have told them before conducting any experiment the reslts would be cat-astrophic.
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by lake_wrangler »

alj_ws wrote: physic of cat is a deep subject too:
...
To these, you can add:
Cats instinctively prefer to be where they are least wanted.
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by lake_wrangler »

I wonder what description one would use for this situation...
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by NOTDilbert »

It is when the cat asleep in your lap is looking utterly comfortble, sweet, and adorable, that you will have to go to the bathroom.
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by Geek_on_call »

Kitty ! So soft & furry. Achoo! Oh right. HAYFEVER D a m i t. But so soft.
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by Fairportfan »

lake_wrangler wrote:I wonder what description one would use for this situation...
Somebody needs to find the page with Jeremy asleep on Susan's lap.

And how Justin (i think) advises her to get rid of him...
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by lake_wrangler »

Fairportfan wrote:
lake_wrangler wrote:I wonder what description one would use for this situation...
Somebody needs to find the page with Jeremy asleep on Susan's lap.

And how Justin (i think) advises her to get rid of him...
You mean, like this:
On Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:19 pm, in the Cartoon Laws of Physics thread, lake_wrangler wrote:
alj_ws wrote: physic of cat is a deep subject too:
...
To these, you can add:
Cats instinctively prefer to be where they are least wanted.
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by Fairportfan »

Oops. I didn't look at that, since that image involves Jeremy poiting away from where he's not wanted, and the description didn't register...
Not even duct tape can fix stupid. But it can muffle the noise.
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by lake_wrangler »

Don't worry, it happens to the best of us... so of course, it would happen to you, too... :mrgreen:
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by lake_wrangler »

9 Chickweed Lane's "Hallmark of Felinity" strips are pretty funny.

Hallmark of felinity #78: The ability to be on the planet without apparently touching it.

Of course, one has to do some serious archive crawl to come across them, but hey, it's a good comic strip...
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by PrettyPrincess »

If ever I teach science, I'll put this on my classroom wall...
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by Jabberwonky »

Gotta do like I did...a massive archive crawl and save the Hallmarks...(had a lot to do with gathering them up for my mom...)
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by lake_wrangler »

Jabberwonky wrote:Gotta do like I did...a massive archive crawl and save the Hallmarks...(had a lot to do with gathering them up for my mom...)
Why didn't I think of that?!? :oops:

Gosh darn it! Now I have to start again! :shock: (And I made it "all the way" to October 2002... :roll: )
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by Fairportfan »

I have all of the 9CL strips available saved on this computer.
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Re: Cartoon Laws of Physics (original source unknown)

Post by lake_wrangler »

If I were to start saving all the images to all the webcomics I read, I would need many, many a hard drive... :roll:
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