Bad Jokes II

All off topic conversation held here. Have fun and play nice. =)

Moderators: Bookworm, starkruzr, MrFireDragon, PrettyPrincess, Wapsi

User avatar
lake_wrangler
Posts: 3603
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
Location: Montréal, Québec, Canada

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by lake_wrangler » Mon Feb 11, 2019 8:27 pm

GlytchMeister wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 7:17 pm
That’s not a FrankenCar, that’s a redneck abomination!

Also, I’m just waiting for Sarge to see my Limerick...
Actually, I think that car denotes a high degree of imagination...

User avatar
Dave
Posts: 6825
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:58 pm
Location: Mountain View, CA, USA

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave » Mon Feb 11, 2019 8:28 pm

lake_wrangler wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 8:27 pm
Actually, I think that car denotes a high degree of imagination...
... of the sort that H.P. Lovecraft was so well equipped with.

Warrl
Posts: 1462
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2013 10:44 pm

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Warrl » Mon Feb 11, 2019 8:57 pm

What, you guys don't like Vern's Corvette?

(it says "Vern's" along the left edge of the camper shell, and the tailgate says "Corvette". I have no idea what the other parts of the car originally were parts of, but I think there are at least four other "donor" vehicles.)

(Of course, one could note that I put the picture in a "Bad Jokes" thread...)

User avatar
TazManiac
Posts: 3265
Joined: Fri Nov 29, 2013 6:53 pm

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by TazManiac » Mon Feb 11, 2019 10:05 pm

(scroll down plz..._)
Warrl wrote:
Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:29 pm
Hey Glytch, you've occasionally referred to a car as the Frankenstratus...

Image
That's what you need, when you make a Trader Joe's run; lots of haul-away space to work with...


If you're old enough, You might hearken back to Harold & Maude...
, of which I'm happy to report that the Google Search I did mentions two theaters it's playing in- tonight.

Image

Warrl
Posts: 1462
Joined: Sat Jul 20, 2013 10:44 pm

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Warrl » Sat Feb 16, 2019 4:10 pm

Another frankencar...

Image

Found on the same page as this gem:

Image

(Note: much of the rest of the page is political, particularly at the start.)

User avatar
Dave
Posts: 6825
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:58 pm
Location: Mountain View, CA, USA

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave » Sat Feb 16, 2019 6:27 pm

Something very neat has happened in my town lately. It borders on San Francisco Bay, and part of the city property is still wetlands and wildlands. There's a city park there, which is home to members of an endangered species - the Western Burrowing Owl.

The owls haven't been doing well in recent decades. A lot of area has been lost to building (e.g. high-tech business parks), land-fill, a big concert arena, and so forth. The growing population of people has endangered the owls... people walking or riding bikes on the area, dogs, populations of feral cats and foxes, all of these have taken a toll on the owl population,

The city's trying to help, with programs to protect the habitat. This has helped, at least somewhat.

The big breakthrough, recently, was from a research team that discovered that the owls are healthy enough, but the stress of all the people around has caused them to be... well, let's say "not very romantic". They haven't been pairing up, mating, and raising families successfully.

The head of the research team proposed a solution... well, an aerosol, really... to counteract the stress. It's a mixture which contains some herbal essential oils that have a relaxing effect, some owl pheromones, a bit of cannabis extract (now that it's legal here), and oxytocin (a neurotransmitter that promotes social and family cohesion).

The team sprayed this stuff all around the "burrowing owl habitat" area over at Shoreline, and in less than a month, there were twelve new mated pairs of burrowing owls busily laying eggs and raising chicks. It was an astounding success.

The lead researcher Dr. Mendez gave a lot of the credit to his grandmother Elena, and now refers to it as "Project Meatball".

(No, he isn't being insulting and disparaging about his grandmother. He's simply giving credit where credit is due. After all, it was in her traditional Mexican kitchen that he learned how to brew up a pot of really great owl-bonding gas.)

User avatar
shadowinthelight
Posts: 2538
Joined: Mon Jul 30, 2012 11:49 pm
Location: Somewhere, TX
Contact:

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by shadowinthelight » Mon Feb 18, 2019 11:23 am

Dave, el Frasco entiende todos los idiomas. Todavía tienes que pagar.
Julie, about Wapsi Square wrote:Oh goodness yes. So much paranormal!

Image My deviantART and YouTube.
I'm done thinking for today! It's caused me enough trouble!

User avatar
Dave
Posts: 6825
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:58 pm
Location: Mountain View, CA, USA

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave » Mon Feb 18, 2019 11:32 am

(Dave places a bowl of delicious soup into the Pun Jar. Dr Mendez said the recipe was the treasure of his Sierra madre.)

User avatar
TazManiac
Posts: 3265
Joined: Fri Nov 29, 2013 6:53 pm

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by TazManiac » Tue Feb 19, 2019 9:53 pm

'The Island of Doctor Moreau', unbidden, comes to mind...

btw- A family of Tomatoes is hurrying down the sidewalk.

Dad, in his frustration, turns and squashes one of the kids and says

"Ketch·up!"

User avatar
lake_wrangler
Posts: 3603
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
Location: Montréal, Québec, Canada

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by lake_wrangler » Mon Apr 01, 2019 12:35 pm

Taken from here:

Image

User avatar
lake_wrangler
Posts: 3603
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
Location: Montréal, Québec, Canada

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by lake_wrangler » Mon Apr 08, 2019 8:48 pm

Heard the following on the radio, from Laugh Again ministries, with Phil Callaway:

"I have a fear of speed bumps... but I'm getting over it..."

and

"They say that there are more people who are afraid of public speaking than there are people who are afraid of snakes... but I've never seen anyone walk in the jungle and cry out: 'Look out! A microphone!' "

User avatar
Dave
Posts: 6825
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 5:58 pm
Location: Mountain View, CA, USA

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave » Sat May 04, 2019 10:35 am

The annual Google IO conference is being held this next week.

It is rumored that Sergey Brin, the president of Google's parent company Alphabet, will be announcing that Alphabet will be acquiring Tesla, which will be merged with the Waymo autonomous-vehicle division and with the Pixel phone group. The combined organization is expected to discontinue production of Tesla's luxury automobiles, and focus on the development of autonomous utility vehicles having high-end mobile electronics capability.

It makes perfect sense... Androids do dream of electric Jeeps!

User avatar
Hansontoons
Posts: 933
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:22 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Hansontoons » Mon May 06, 2019 8:39 pm

Dave wrote:
Sat May 04, 2019 10:35 am
The annual Google IO conference is being held this next week.

It is rumored that Sergey Brin, the president of Google's parent company Alphabet, will be announcing that Alphabet will be acquiring Tesla, which will be merged with the Waymo autonomous-vehicle division and with the Pixel phone group. The combined organization is expected to discontinue production of Tesla's luxury automobiles, and focus on the development of autonomous utility vehicles having high-end mobile electronics capability.

It makes perfect sense... Androids do dream of electric Jeeps!
arrguhhh.

Where's Deckard when he is really needed...

User avatar
Hansontoons
Posts: 933
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:22 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Hansontoons » Mon May 06, 2019 8:49 pm

Even Jasper says "Pleez, none more..."
IMG_4337.jpeg
IMG_4337.jpeg (139.59 KiB) Viewed 538 times

Typeminer
Posts: 634
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:34 pm
Location: Pennsylbama, between Philly and Pittsburgh

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Typeminer » Tue May 07, 2019 9:01 pm

Jasper puts up with a lot. It's tough being a dog (as any dog will tell ya). But there are limits. :mrgreen:

Always good to see Jasper. Makes the week better. 8-)
Saccharomyces cerevisiae is the linchpin of civilization.

User avatar
Hansontoons
Posts: 933
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:22 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Hansontoons » Wed May 08, 2019 8:40 pm

The "J" is putting up with inner-loop life in Houston the best she can. Her previous life at the Casa de Inundación was rather different. it's been a year since we moved and she has accepted her current lot in life- as long as rawhide chews are on hand. The area we have available for walks consists of several blocks of surface streets with a mix of single family homes from the 40's/50's and much newer townhomes. She does have preferences for where to go- it depends on if there is an annoying barky dog behind a fence or gate. We cross side to side at her discretion. There are canine friendly establishments within easy walking distance, and she knows them well. One even provides tasty biscuits to four-legged visitors. Needless to say, that one is a favorite.

IMG_4401.jpeg
IMG_4401.jpeg (135.75 KiB) Viewed 513 times
IMG_4405.jpeg
IMG_4405.jpeg (140.72 KiB) Viewed 513 times
IMG_4363.jpeg
IMG_4363.jpeg (117.51 KiB) Viewed 513 times
The poolside pic was at a party we attended in Austin, it's not my backyard!

User avatar
lake_wrangler
Posts: 3603
Joined: Sun Aug 05, 2012 8:16 am
Location: Montréal, Québec, Canada

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by lake_wrangler » Fri May 10, 2019 3:57 pm

Hansontoons wrote:
Wed May 08, 2019 8:40 pm
The "J" is putting up with inner-loop life in Houston the best she can.
[...]
Lovely pics of the Jasper
[...]
Is it possible that you might have meant to post this in the "More Stuff" thread, rather than the "Bad Jokes II" thread? Perhaps? :P

User avatar
Hansontoons
Posts: 933
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:22 pm
Location: Houston, TX

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Hansontoons » Sat May 11, 2019 7:48 pm

lake_wrangler wrote:
Fri May 10, 2019 3:57 pm
Hansontoons wrote:
Wed May 08, 2019 8:40 pm
The "J" is putting up with inner-loop life in Houston the best she can.
[...]
Lovely pics of the Jasper
[...]
Is it possible that you might have meant to post this in the "More Stuff" thread, rather than the "Bad Jokes II" thread? Perhaps? :P
Intentionally here since Typeminer remarked on it being nice to see her. But yes, More Stuff or Photo Album might have garnered more attention. :)

She is at my elbow as I type, angling for a rawhide treat.

User avatar
TazManiac
Posts: 3265
Joined: Fri Nov 29, 2013 6:53 pm

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by TazManiac » Sun May 12, 2019 12:51 pm

(see, the Joke is- the Human is lead to believe the Human is in charge...), so; On Topic.

Typeminer
Posts: 634
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:34 pm
Location: Pennsylbama, between Philly and Pittsburgh

Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Typeminer » Sun May 12, 2019 5:23 pm

Good to see Jasper whatever thread. :D

Now, you want a bad joke?

Saw a thing just lately--with pictures--that dogs can ride the New York subways. If they fit in a bag!

Try convincing Jasper to ride the subway in a bag. :shock:
Saccharomyces cerevisiae is the linchpin of civilization.

Post Reply