Bad Jokes II

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Atomic
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Atomic » Mon Oct 22, 2018 7:32 am

A rerun, perhaps, but apropos to the current musical theme...

Q. What's an example of perfect pitch?

A. When the dulcimer lands on the bag pipes you threw in the dumpster yesterday.
Don't let other peoples limitations become your constraints!

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Just Old Al
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Just Old Al » Mon Oct 22, 2018 12:08 pm

What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?

No one minds when you jump up and down on a bagpipe.
"The Empire was founded on cups of tea, mate, and if you think I am going to war without one you are sadly mistaken."

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jwhouk
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by jwhouk » Mon Oct 22, 2018 12:18 pm

Glass coffins are now available, but their popularity remains to be seen.
"Character is what you are in the dark." - D.L. Moody
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Bookworm
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Bookworm » Mon Oct 22, 2018 1:49 pm

Atomic wrote:
Mon Oct 22, 2018 7:32 am
A rerun, perhaps, but apropos to the current musical theme...

Q. What's an example of perfect pitch?

A. When the dulcimer lands on the bag pipes you threw in the dumpster yesterday.
Why do they call it a hammered dulcimer?

It's the only way to be sure.
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

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Atomic
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Atomic » Wed Oct 31, 2018 11:53 pm

Typeminer wrote:
Mon Oct 29, 2018 8:25 am
Everyone says "Save the Whales!" You ever try saving whales? Just one of them takes up the whole garage. Every damn cat within in a mile radius hangs out in the yard, too. It's a hell of a mess. :shock:
So this guy is walking downtown past a deli window and sees a sign: "Any type of sandwich - we got it!"

Well, not one to miss out on a challenge, he goes into the deli and orders an elephant ear sandwich.

"Ah -- one moment!" says the counter guy, who runs back to the office.

"Boss, boss -- some guy just ordered an elephant ear sandwich!"

The boss says, "Yeah, so? We just got a fresh batch this morning."

"But boss... we're out of those big buns!"

Well they figured it out and the guy got his sandwich. Late the next evening, he decides to hit up the deli one more time. He orders a whale sandwich.

"Boss, boss -- that guy from yesterday just ordered a whale sandwich!"

"We got three. So what's the problem?"

"It's almost closing and I'd have to start on a whole new whale!"
Don't let other peoples limitations become your constraints!

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Dave
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave » Fri Jan 25, 2019 11:07 am

I recently ran across an interesting book in my library's history section... an autobiography written by an English sea captain who later turned to piracy. It's "The Journal of a Privateer", by Mark Andre Preisal.

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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Bookworm » Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:26 pm

Dave wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 11:07 am
I recently ran across an interesting book in my library's history section... an autobiography written by an English sea captain who later turned to piracy. It's "The Journal of a Privateer", by Mark Andre Preisal.
Was it written as a series of letters?
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

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Dave
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave » Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:33 pm

Bookworm wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:26 pm
Was it written as a series of letters?
Why yes, it was! :D

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Hansontoons
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Hansontoons » Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:07 pm

Dave wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:33 pm
Bookworm wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:26 pm
Was it written as a series of letters?
Why yes, it was! :D
hi dave, jasper heer, plees stop, makes my poor dog brain hurt

The J.jpg
The J.jpg (76.93 KiB) Viewed 1276 times

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Bookworm
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Bookworm » Sat Jan 26, 2019 12:03 am

Hansontoons wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:07 pm
Dave wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:33 pm
Bookworm wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:26 pm
Was it written as a series of letters?
Why yes, it was! :D
hi dave, jasper heer, plees stop, makes my poor dog brain hurt
It'll have to come out!
I'll get a life when it's proven and substantiated to be better than what I'm currently experiencing.

Alkarii
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Alkarii » Sat Jan 26, 2019 9:48 am

Bookworm wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 12:03 am
Hansontoons wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 9:07 pm
Dave wrote:
Fri Jan 25, 2019 7:33 pm

Why yes, it was! :D
hi dave, jasper heer, plees stop, makes my poor dog brain hurt
It'll have to come out!
Who's gonna perform a labotomy?
There is no such thing as a science experiment gone wrong.

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TazManiac
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by TazManiac » Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:22 pm

We'll just wash It and put it back in...

Warrl
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Warrl » Sat Jan 26, 2019 5:59 pm

TazManiac wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:22 pm
We'll just wash It and put it back in...
I'll make a quick trip to the Crosstime Cafe for some cleaning supplies...

Image

(edited for a formatting fix)
Last edited by Warrl on Tue Jan 29, 2019 5:06 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Atomic
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Atomic » Tue Jan 29, 2019 5:28 am

Warrl wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 5:59 pm
TazManiac wrote:
Sat Jan 26, 2019 1:22 pm
We'll just wash It and put it back in...
I'll make a quick trip to the [url=https://www.crosstimecafe.com/index.php]Crosstime Cafe[/u] for some cleaning supplies...

Image
Does it puts the lotion on it's skin?
Don't let other peoples limitations become your constraints!

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GlytchMeister
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by GlytchMeister » Mon Feb 11, 2019 5:38 am

DF3A6D69-A38C-4150-817A-F90FD9A01254.jpeg
DF3A6D69-A38C-4150-817A-F90FD9A01254.jpeg (88.43 KiB) Viewed 1017 times
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!

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Dave
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave » Mon Feb 11, 2019 10:22 am

As poetry goes, it seems a trifle formulaic to me. :shock:

Warrl
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Warrl » Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:29 pm

Hey Glytch, you've occasionally referred to a car as the Frankenstratus...

Image

Alkarii
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Alkarii » Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:43 pm

It's a hearse for midgets.
There is no such thing as a science experiment gone wrong.

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Dave
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave » Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:55 pm

Anyone for haiku, a la Euler's identity?


e + 1 = 0

Imaginary pi
taken to the antilog
plus one becomes naught

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GlytchMeister
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by GlytchMeister » Mon Feb 11, 2019 7:17 pm

That’s not a FrankenCar, that’s a redneck abomination!

Also, I’m just waiting for Sarge to see my Limerick...
He's mister GlytchMeister, he's mister code
He's mister exploiter, he's mister ones and zeros
They call me GlytchMeister, whatever I touch
Starts to glitch in my clutch!
I'm too much!

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