Bad Jokes II

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lake_wrangler
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by lake_wrangler »

GlytchMeister wrote: Mon Feb 11, 2019 7:17 pm That’s not a FrankenCar, that’s a redneck abomination!

Also, I’m just waiting for Sarge to see my Limerick...
Actually, I think that car denotes a high degree of imagination...
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Dave
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave »

lake_wrangler wrote: Mon Feb 11, 2019 8:27 pm Actually, I think that car denotes a high degree of imagination...
... of the sort that H.P. Lovecraft was so well equipped with.
Warrl
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Warrl »

What, you guys don't like Vern's Corvette?

(it says "Vern's" along the left edge of the camper shell, and the tailgate says "Corvette". I have no idea what the other parts of the car originally were parts of, but I think there are at least four other "donor" vehicles.)

(Of course, one could note that I put the picture in a "Bad Jokes" thread...)
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TazManiac
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by TazManiac »

(scroll down plz..._)
Warrl wrote: Mon Feb 11, 2019 6:29 pm Hey Glytch, you've occasionally referred to a car as the Frankenstratus...

Image
That's what you need, when you make a Trader Joe's run; lots of haul-away space to work with...


If you're old enough, You might hearken back to Harold & Maude...
, of which I'm happy to report that the Google Search I did mentions two theaters it's playing in- tonight.

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Warrl
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Warrl »

Another frankencar...

Image

Found on the same page as this gem:

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(Note: much of the rest of the page is political, particularly at the start.)
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Dave
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave »

Something very neat has happened in my town lately. It borders on San Francisco Bay, and part of the city property is still wetlands and wildlands. There's a city park there, which is home to members of an endangered species - the Western Burrowing Owl.

The owls haven't been doing well in recent decades. A lot of area has been lost to building (e.g. high-tech business parks), land-fill, a big concert arena, and so forth. The growing population of people has endangered the owls... people walking or riding bikes on the area, dogs, populations of feral cats and foxes, all of these have taken a toll on the owl population,

The city's trying to help, with programs to protect the habitat. This has helped, at least somewhat.

The big breakthrough, recently, was from a research team that discovered that the owls are healthy enough, but the stress of all the people around has caused them to be... well, let's say "not very romantic". They haven't been pairing up, mating, and raising families successfully.

The head of the research team proposed a solution... well, an aerosol, really... to counteract the stress. It's a mixture which contains some herbal essential oils that have a relaxing effect, some owl pheromones, a bit of cannabis extract (now that it's legal here), and oxytocin (a neurotransmitter that promotes social and family cohesion).

The team sprayed this stuff all around the "burrowing owl habitat" area over at Shoreline, and in less than a month, there were twelve new mated pairs of burrowing owls busily laying eggs and raising chicks. It was an astounding success.

The lead researcher Dr. Mendez gave a lot of the credit to his grandmother Elena, and now refers to it as "Project Meatball".

(No, he isn't being insulting and disparaging about his grandmother. He's simply giving credit where credit is due. After all, it was in her traditional Mexican kitchen that he learned how to brew up a pot of really great owl-bonding gas.)
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by shadowinthelight »

Dave, el Frasco entiende todos los idiomas. Todavía tienes que pagar.
Julie, about Wapsi Square wrote:Oh goodness yes. So much paranormal!

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Dave
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave »

(Dave places a bowl of delicious soup into the Pun Jar. Dr Mendez said the recipe was the treasure of his Sierra madre.)
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TazManiac
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by TazManiac »

'The Island of Doctor Moreau', unbidden, comes to mind...

btw- A family of Tomatoes is hurrying down the sidewalk.

Dad, in his frustration, turns and squashes one of the kids and says

"Ketch·up!"
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lake_wrangler
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by lake_wrangler »

Taken from here:

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lake_wrangler
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by lake_wrangler »

Heard the following on the radio, from Laugh Again ministries, with Phil Callaway:

"I have a fear of speed bumps... but I'm getting over it..."

and

"They say that there are more people who are afraid of public speaking than there are people who are afraid of snakes... but I've never seen anyone walk in the jungle and cry out: 'Look out! A microphone!' "
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Dave
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Dave »

The annual Google IO conference is being held this next week.

It is rumored that Sergey Brin, the president of Google's parent company Alphabet, will be announcing that Alphabet will be acquiring Tesla, which will be merged with the Waymo autonomous-vehicle division and with the Pixel phone group. The combined organization is expected to discontinue production of Tesla's luxury automobiles, and focus on the development of autonomous utility vehicles having high-end mobile electronics capability.

It makes perfect sense... Androids do dream of electric Jeeps!
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Hansontoons
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Hansontoons »

Dave wrote: Sat May 04, 2019 10:35 am The annual Google IO conference is being held this next week.

It is rumored that Sergey Brin, the president of Google's parent company Alphabet, will be announcing that Alphabet will be acquiring Tesla, which will be merged with the Waymo autonomous-vehicle division and with the Pixel phone group. The combined organization is expected to discontinue production of Tesla's luxury automobiles, and focus on the development of autonomous utility vehicles having high-end mobile electronics capability.

It makes perfect sense... Androids do dream of electric Jeeps!
arrguhhh.

Where's Deckard when he is really needed...
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Hansontoons
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Hansontoons »

Even Jasper says "Pleez, none more..."
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Typeminer »

Jasper puts up with a lot. It's tough being a dog (as any dog will tell ya). But there are limits. :mrgreen:

Always good to see Jasper. Makes the week better. 8-)
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Hansontoons
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Hansontoons »

The "J" is putting up with inner-loop life in Houston the best she can. Her previous life at the Casa de Inundación was rather different. it's been a year since we moved and she has accepted her current lot in life- as long as rawhide chews are on hand. The area we have available for walks consists of several blocks of surface streets with a mix of single family homes from the 40's/50's and much newer townhomes. She does have preferences for where to go- it depends on if there is an annoying barky dog behind a fence or gate. We cross side to side at her discretion. There are canine friendly establishments within easy walking distance, and she knows them well. One even provides tasty biscuits to four-legged visitors. Needless to say, that one is a favorite.

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lake_wrangler
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by lake_wrangler »

Hansontoons wrote: Wed May 08, 2019 8:40 pm The "J" is putting up with inner-loop life in Houston the best she can.
[...]
Lovely pics of the Jasper
[...]
Is it possible that you might have meant to post this in the "More Stuff" thread, rather than the "Bad Jokes II" thread? Perhaps? :P
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Hansontoons
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Hansontoons »

lake_wrangler wrote: Fri May 10, 2019 3:57 pm
Hansontoons wrote: Wed May 08, 2019 8:40 pm The "J" is putting up with inner-loop life in Houston the best she can.
[...]
Lovely pics of the Jasper
[...]
Is it possible that you might have meant to post this in the "More Stuff" thread, rather than the "Bad Jokes II" thread? Perhaps? :P
Intentionally here since Typeminer remarked on it being nice to see her. But yes, More Stuff or Photo Album might have garnered more attention. :)

She is at my elbow as I type, angling for a rawhide treat.
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TazManiac
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by TazManiac »

(see, the Joke is- the Human is lead to believe the Human is in charge...), so; On Topic.
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Re: Bad Jokes II

Post by Typeminer »

Good to see Jasper whatever thread. :D

Now, you want a bad joke?

Saw a thing just lately--with pictures--that dogs can ride the New York subways. If they fit in a bag!

Try convincing Jasper to ride the subway in a bag. :shock:
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